What would you do (kindness please)?

[dmveventer]

I haven’t seen anyone mention this yet but have you looked around for credit cards offering 0% interest? CareCredit is great for the medical stuff but all the major cards offer this kind of thing if you still have decent credit. It sounds like you’re in a tough spot right now but have the right income and mindset to get out of it, so if you can transfer some of the debt or put new expenses on a 0% card for a while it could really help take some stress off. I did this when I bought my horse recently and it was so nice having the extra buffer as expenses piled up. I could have paid cash but I wasn’t crazy about depleting my bank account beyond the horse’s purchase price, and I’ll have it all paid off before any interest kicks in. I hate carrying debt so it feels really weird to do this, but financially it makes more sense to do it this way. I would take this route before I made any really drastic changes to my budget.

And I may be in the minority here but I would try to keep the horse’s rehab moving if possible even if it means taking on some additional debt. He’s young and you could have him for a long time still if you bring him back correctly, I personally wouldn’t jeapardize the long-term potential over a temporary financial hardship.

I don’t mean to undersell the stress you’re under, I’m financially conservative myself so I totally get the anxiety, but from the outside it really does seem like you guys will be ok in the long run. Sometimes it’s worth making a less-optimal financial decision to preserve quality of life, nothing is ever 100% about the numbers.

[Lunabear1988]

There’s probably things we could look out for the debt.

Taking a step back partially because of the good advice on the thread, I can see that one might be a hard month it’s not worth panicking over. We need to be smart for sure but neither the horse or the dog are dying. We can conservatively keep marching forward with making them both feel better without breaking the bank. But next month will be a little bit of a better situation. We still need to be smart and we still need to be budgeting. And it is a lot all hitting at once. That’s a reality.

[anon40672407]

Sounds like you are getting there. Not panicking, but thinking it thru. Good for you.

[Lunabear1988]

I think we are going to try the special food the vet wants for now. The only thing I’m not sure about is she also put him on an antibiotic… Which I feel like would complicate things? Doing two things at once seems a good make it hard to know if it was actually a food allergy or not?

But I’m hoping that eventually we would be able to switch to a different type of protein that he could tolerate and hopefully not be outrageous. Or make my own food even.

[Bicoastal]

I’m not posting suggestions to help solve your problems. I’m posting to say I understand how it feels to live very comfortably for many years, then suddenly not.

For many, many years, I could buy the $5 coffee for my Friday treat, order whatever from Amazon, eat out a couple times a week, pay for top notch animal care. Still while socking away savings for a house, 401K, HSA, plush bank accounts, all the things.

Then I bought the house. Necessary repairs swept through what remained of my savings.
I had to pull money out of investments, reduce monthly contributions, use my credit card for groceries and teeter near the max limit. I had to ask for meager loans to get me to the next paycheck. I took out a 401k loan to keep my head above water. Every ballooning credit card payment devastated my shriveling checking account. I defaulted a couple times.

This was not me. This was not the person I worked so hard for so long to be. The terror of having no money, no cushion, dreading a piddly utility bill, stretching weeks between grocery store visits and praying I could afford the total at checkout…

One night I finally broke down in the shower. I leaned on the shower wall, allowed myself the expense of letting the hot water run down my shoulders, and sobbed and sobbed.

It sounds like you know, so I’m repeating for both of us: this too shall pass.

One day, I’ll be able to afford some cans of paint to make this home my own. One day you’ll get back to enjoying a fancy coffee and buying your dog expensive food. This storm will pass.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

The ultimate goal is to keep the food down. I’m glad you’re trying the food. Science I/D was worth every penny for my dog, versus spending money on all the home remedies that didn’t work, to say nothing of carpet cleaner. It’s very stressful for dogs if they can’t keep down food.

I understand you’re panicking (and I would feel the same way), but from what you’ve described, feeding the dog the diet and the antibiotics will be cheaper in the long run than emergency vet visits.

[VodkaRedbullx2]

All these good posts about cutting expenses and such…like responsible people do.

But i hate limiting beliefs and budgets.

So I would find a way to go make MORE money so i could spend it appropriatly on puppies ponies and braces.

Not like a job job, that is too inflexible.

Like instacart, house sitting, child sitting airbandb, rover, uber, lyft, bartending…

Whatever gives you cold hard cash and fits with your lifestyle so you can blow it on puppies and ponies.

[CindyB59]

For the dog, try goats milk, preferably raw. It has worked wonders on sick foster kittens and my dogs.

Just recently my GSD was having diarrhea a lot. Finally got a fresh sample I knew was from him. Negative for any parasites. Gave him fresh raw goats milk for 2 weeks, maybe 1/2 cup AM and PM. It’s been 2 months now with no diarrhea

Our standard poodle bloated 3 years ago, then went into pancreatitis. Was trying everything She was on antibiotics, anti nausea, appetite stimulants. Couldn’t get her to eat, every bite came right back up. Dark black diarrhea. Remembered goats milk, got some at sprouts. Pasteurized, but better than nothing. Started literally with a tablespoon every hr. By the next day she ate and kept it down. Improved steadily.

I swear it’s a miracle substance. It can’t hurt to try.

We have a goat dairy right down the road now. Love it.

[SuzieQNutter]

Did you swap from cows milk?
I just remember a saying I once heard.

Humans are the only animals that drink milk, once weaned, and even then it is not their own milk that they drink.

[CindyB59]

I never give cows milk to pets, and rarely drink it myself.

The place I get it from said they have many regular customers that drink it. Huge source of probiotics.

[Ghazzu]

Dairy products in general are a major source of probiotics.

[Gesaffelstein]

I remember you from when you joined COTH- you have bought and dumped tons of $$ into unsound horses.
I think it’s time to take a break. Also your daughter losing her lease horse is not the worst thing in the world. Be smart.
What does your husband say about the $$$ spent on horses?

[Lunabear1988]

Just be clear we’re not tight on money because of any money spent on horses. Not even close. Honestly I WISH that were the reason.

[Bicoastal]

@VodkaRedbullx2

So I would find a way to go make MORE money…

Whatever gives you cold hard cash and fits with your lifestyle

I want to do this. But I work full time and have a farm. When my day job stops, my farm work starts. I work until it’s too dark, about 8:30pm. Then dinner, shower, bed. I wake at sunrise for the day job.

The first job pays the bills, the second job generates all the bills. Where do the hours for a third job come from?

I’d love to offer SniffSpot and generate passive income, but I have a farm. Every path I try to go down in the third job/passive income stops at, “but I have a farm.”

[rockymouse]

@poltroon

Some times you just have to reset, and when I get extremely anxious it really helps me to create a lower floor of expectations.

Tons of compassion and wisdom in this thread. As usual, this shared information is likely touching and helping more of us than just the OP.

@poltroon made a great point that hit home for me, right now. I, too, have had a lot heavy sledding lately professionally, relationally, and in terms of aging parents and their health. At times recently I’ve felt so overwhelmed that I gasp like a fish out of water.

But! Lowering my expectations has helped. I’m aware of the long range and big picture, but I’m focused more on today. My kid made his early morning flight. Yay. My mom’s sitting up for breakfast instead of bed bound. Win. I’m gonna get my dad new tires today. I’m gonna make sure he gets rest today. I paid two bills this morning.

So, OP, I’ve got you in my heart. Step by baby step, we’re gonna get through it.

[OnAMission]

Did you get tires, OP? I keep seeing tires at garage sales and thinking about you-I might need closure on that issue.

[Lunabear1988]

Not yet but soon! They aren’t so dire that he won’t make it to work but he has a lot of commitments in the mountains in September so it definitely has to be done by the end of the month!

My dad reminded him that we do have a family friend that owns a tire shop. They had asked my husband to help them out with something in October so perhaps we can strike a little bit of a deal.

[Lunabear1988]

Well with antibiotics the dog’s poop is solid again. Haven’t changed food quite yet but planning on it, slowly of course.

My husband and I are creating a schedule so that I can work a little more. If he helps take my daughter to school in the mornings that really helps out time-wise and helps us with gas. I won’t be able to work much more until October, but that’s okay because my husband is crazy busy in September and we have a surplus in money that month. But the plan is to stock a lot of that away for the roof. But, we do have a few months until we were planning on replacing it. It isn’t leaking. So stepping back a little we should have sufficient time too save up for that.

The horse is the trickiest. I’ve emailed my vet a few videos, just trying to work with me conservatively first. If it is indeed stifle, I do think there is a few things we could try. Estrone might be the start. I also do think he could survive hanging out too. He’s happy in his living arrangement and herd right now.

My daughter starts middle school tomorrow. Send positive jingles! Such a big transition for her. But she will do great as always.

[Gesaffelstein]

You said your were financially overwhelmed and had no savings- you need a new roof, dog is sick, kid needs necessities, car needs tires.
You are also now needing to rehab your current horse.

[OnAMission]

Yeah, life gets Lifey sometimes, she’s been through some tough times and is getting things squared around. She literally asked for kindness, if you can’t do that for whatever reason maybe you could let it go and just not post. She’s explained herself enough when it wasn’t even needed, no reason to kick her around, it’s no sweat off your nose and “sell the horse” isn’t always the answer to all the problems.

Good update, OP, I know you said things were going to look up in the fall and it sounds like they are! Good luck to your daughter with school and keep plugging along!