When even a six-figure salary isn't enough to compete

I hear that but if I had to guess, OP does need him to support the household financially. The number of places/income combinations that a single income can support, even a large income, is dwindling in areas that are also booming with those high-income jobs. As a not-single person who runs a farm and supports 5.5 equines on a single-income in a high COL area, I also want to be “you don’t need a maaaaaaaan (or whatever)” but I also get the uniqueness of my situation and my lack of debt (farm, car, just picked up a 2nd car payment on a new-used truck, but that’s it). Most people cannot afford to live alone when they are supporting school debt, a car payment, and a high-priced hobby in an area with a high COL.

3 Likes

There are plenty of expensive horses in Australia, to the extent that some people try to shop in New Zealand because even with transport costs it can be cheaper to import (and pre-covid travelling to NZ was similar to travelling between Australian states, much like US/Canada). Even now some people buy sight unseen.

Six-figure horses would be rare but there are plenty of 5 figure horses and would include pony clubbers, adult ammy all rounders, etc. Suzie is talking about shopping in the 90s… a horse that was $5K in the mid-90s would be well into 5-figures now.

8 Likes

I feel that! And I’m at a barn that balances a lesson program, an IEA team, a group that shows at the grassroots level, and a group that went down to WEC and came back with a bunch of pretty tricolors. I figure I have two jobs in this community. The first is to be a visible reminder to our juniors that your riding life doesn’t end when you turn 18, and the second is to be an example of how sometimes you don’t have as many resources as your friends, but you can still turn out okay. My third job is not to be a little jealous of the kid with three horses… not really because she has them, but because somehow she’s managing to ride all three of them. (Every time my trainer sends me an ad for a baby TB, what I get stuck on is not “how would I manage to afford two horses,” but “I have a full time job, a husband, and three other animals… how would I manage to RIDE two horses?!”)

9 Likes

I think it is really hard to provide helpful advice when you do not live in the US and have no familiarity with the cost of living here or the cost of the horse industry.

Of course there are lots of ways to save money and, of course, there are people showing horses that are low priced. However, your comments show a lack of understanding about our student debt crisis, the quandary of living in an area that provides a good salary but also means you have a higher cost of living (including cost of being involved with horses), and the fact that all riding disciplines are expensive once you get to a certain level, whether it’s hunters, jumping, eventing, dressage, or something else.

I realize that you are trying to help with your advice, but to me, it comes across as very condescending, naive, and tone deaf because several posters have tried to explain this already but you response discusses how your $100 horse won an event by 66 points or that the OP should cut her own hair.

However, others have given tremendously helpful advice based on their own experiences of living in high-cost areas in the US where finding high-quality boarding/training barns–no matter your discipline–that you trust to care for your horse are few and far between and also expensive. And it’s expensive because the cost of caring for horses has been exponentially rising, whether it’s paying for hay, grain, bedding, insurance, taxes, or other expenses related to having horses on your property or owning property in the US.

Working for US companies can be a bit of a nightmare. I didn’t realize that until I started working for a UK-based company 5 years ago where my colleagues only work 40 hours a week and never on the nights or weekends, and they take all their holiday. Contrast that to the typical US company where you’re making a similar salary but you’re often expected to work many more than 40 hours a week, take emails/calls on nights/weekends, and give up your vacation because you simply can’t accomplish your job otherwise. And if you don’t like it, you’ll be told that there is always someone else who will do the job. I’m happy to see posters encouraging the OP to stand up for herself and ask for more money–our work culture here is slowly changing. Sadly, it took a global pandemic for it to happen.

I don’t have anything to add because everyone else has said it. I’ve been in my 20s, trying to juggle a full-time job plus freelance work, a mortgage, renting a farm to keep my horses at and do self-care, and compete. And I have a husband who is a horse person, so we had two incomes and two of us to do the work that renting a farm and self care entails.

I look back now and wonder how we did it. It was exhausting and stressful and you better believe we cut every corner possible to make it work. Based on what the OP is saying, I’m sure she is doing the same thing, so telling her to cut her own hair, among your other commentary, just really offended me on her behalf. :laughing:

Please remember that what you read on these discussion forums is not the full picture of horse keeping here in the US. It’s a microcosm of people who enjoy this type of communication and have to the time to do it. In addition, just as among different countries, horse keeping and disciplines greatly differ depending on where you live here in the US. It may be much cheaper to live elsewhere, but you will also often be paid less and have different options (not necessarily the ones you want) with regard to showing. Working remotely is changing that…again, another culture change long overdue and taking place due to COVID.

So, I’m going to take a line from a book I’m reading, and kindly suggest that you “step back” and reassess what you’re telling the OP to do. This is a thread where there is a lot of opportunity to learn about horse keeping here, and it may be a good idea to read about it prior to commenting.

To the other posters who have said how important it is to keep the OP’s partner’s family member in place, thank you for saying so. Horses are fabulous and many times in my life, I’ve found them preferable to humans. :wink: However, they will never replace the long-term relationships I have with my significant other and my family. Those people come first in my life, and it’s taken me time and maturity to realize how important that is, and also how fleeting competing/showing is in the scheme of life. Just having a great horse I enjoy and providing a good quality of life for that horse is an incredible privilege (and I think we pretty much all agree on that).

82 Likes

@KellyS

Yes to all of this.

I would also add that you simply cannot step down to a part time work week in early career in professions in North America. You are expected to do a full 40 hours plus overtime to get established. There is no option to work part time.

In mid to late career it may be possible to freelance at something and reduce hours plus get a lot of money but that is a move you can only make after you have significant experience and seniority in a field.

Absolutely there is a crunch in North America such that you need expensive education to get a decent job, and that job generally requires you to live in a high cost of living metro area.

There may be exceptions such as a gamer programmer working remotely or a surgeon in flyover country but by and large people still need to live close to their jobs and to find those jobs in metropolitan areas. The reasons low COL places are that way, is the lack of high paying jobs.

Some folks on COTH, in both the US and Australia, have found a way to make a living on part time low paid work in low COL areas and to keep horses, though I think primarily an older generation that found this balance decades ago.

It is not a solution for a young professional who must live close to work in a metro area.

15 Likes

OP, I live in an area with similar board bills at a show program barn. I am fortunate to have a good six figure income (as does DH, and we are lucky to be DINK in a very high COL city near a major metropolis, so we have a “comfortable” lifestyle). But even that it does not make it “easy” to pay 2k+ a month in board and care plus another 1-2k a month for a show or two. I feel you!

I would highly suggest the half lease or cost shar option. That is how I do it. I cannot afford the full cost of care and board and shows, so I split it. It is the only way I can make it work. I am sure there is a strong riding junior or even another hard on cash Ammy who would LOVE to get 2 days a week on your lovely horse for a set monthly fee.

3 Likes

:hushed: I’d love for you to elaborate (said with genuine interest). I’ve never boarded at fancy show facilities so I maybe don’t have that same perspective that many contributing to this post might have. (I do feel a little poor where we are now only because my pony is so wee … a full-size equine wasn’t in the budget :laughing: )

I did not say cut own hair. I said fringe only which to you is bangs. In between hairdresser appointments.

What it really comes down to is choice.

You choose to limit hair dressing appointments or you go every 3 weeks and get it coloured or whatever.

You choose to take your lunch as others suggested or you eat out.

You choose to get chiros every month for your horse or not as others suggested, OP said they saw great results with this so most of us would probably choose that as well.

Yes there are student loans here. That is a choice as well.

You choose to have a horse now and agist or you choose to lease or have lessons or buy your own place.

You choose to live in a high end area move and visit or never go back.

Every choice has consequences.

1 Like

Yes, there are choices.

But from my perspective it’s a smart choice for a person in their 20s to prioritize career development through education and seeking jobs in metro areas, and the things that make this possible which can include housing costs, personal grooming, student loan repayments, transport, and time saving options for meals.

Six figures does not go far in our metro areas with inflation ramping up. Horses in metro areas are a high priced luxury.

20 Likes

So…the others were all either juniors or college students who had just moved to the amateur division. All supported by their parents, who were CEOs, law firm partners, etc. They all had multiple horses, drove new cars, bought new show coats when they saw one that they liked without worry, hired braiders, went out to dinner at nice restaurants while at the shows, didn’t think anything about adding an extra schooling class at the horse show.

[to be clear, they were all wonderful people, and not snobby at all. They just had a different income level to play with.]

I was showing on the A circuit in the amateur adult division on my one horse, an OTTB whom I got a good deal on because he lacked mileage and had some potential soundness issues (which sadly came back to bite us). My trainer at the time (who sold me my horse) also cut me a bit of a deal on the price of my horse to try to help me out.

To make things work as an adult, I scrimped in many other areas - ancient car, bought my clothes at Target (seriously), used my air conditioning as little as possible, braided my horse myself, brought my own food to shows, repaired my horse’s blankets (poorly) with my own needle. Every show I went to required a lot of thought about how much entries were going to be, how much the hotel was going to cost, etc.

I do want to be clear, part of why things were so tight was that I was not willing to spend money at the expense of not paying down my student debt. And I would not go into debt at all for showing - if I couldn’t afford it, I couldn’t afford it. (looking back 20+ years later, I’m glad I had that restraint)

But it did seem ridiculous. Here I was, a graduate of a fancy law school with a high paying job at a top law firm - I was a 1%er. And yet even I had to scrimp and save to somehow make it work out to show on the A circuit in a very limited way. And it was always a struggle, both financially and because of the challenges in trying to ride regularly (with the horse boarded well over an hour away) while working a job that could require 60-70 hours a week in the office.

26 Likes

I was going to type out some long explanation countering the folks who don’t understand horse life in a high COL area with a high-stakes job, but I gave up. Anyway, I have a lot of empathy for your situation as a mid-30s NYC-dweller with multiple horses. :flushed: Luckily, we have no debt, no kids and no plans for them, and are in a rental situation that is (very) favorable to buying at present—and my spouse is a saint who likes alone time, LOL.

There’s no easy way around the costs. However, there are a few ways I’ve made my life a little easier—my company is still remote, so I usually drive the hour or so to the barn in the early AM, ride or lesson, take a meeting or two, then I either drive home at lunch or l’ll ride my other horse and end up driving home at the end of the day. If your barn is comfy and has WiFi, I recommend this set-up. I feel way more productive both in horse life and professional life and it’s a good “balance.”

Another thing that helps: I’m in a smaller program where my trainer can help me get creative with bills when I need to. My jumper schoolmaster gets used in the occasional lessons and my other two horses at any given time are for sale—my trainer makes a higher commission on these in exchange for not charging me training bills and their proceeds take a lot of burden off the horse bills for me and my SO. Not saying that every ammy can or should start horse-flipping, but it definitely helps to be self-sufficient.

7 Likes

In any country, the further away from really major cities, the less expensive everything is but, alas, the further away, the fewer top quality jobs are within reasonable commuting distance. Horse shows are also further away hence more costly to attend. Smaller local shows are falling victim to higher operating costs and development. Theres no easy answer and not surprising somebody from a rural area, let alone another country offers well meant but meaningless advice to urban dwellers.

Horse training, riding, care and such is pretty much the same anywhere in the world and good advice and helpful suggestions based on personal experience are always welcome when shared. But COTH is still strangers in cyberspace and not a reliable source to base an opinion of the entire HJ industry in the US upon.

6 Likes

I disagree with this. @SuzieQNutter is giving us all an education in sacrifice and making things work with what you have. I find her posts really interesting and informative. It’s an attitude I admire.

One of my good friends is a multi-millionaire due to her husband’s business, although she also works. When her horse retired, she was selling her tack and I tried out a Crosby she was selling that she’d bought used. It still had the previous owner’s nameplate on it. I was shocked. I would have replaced it immediately. But this is just one reason she has more money than I do. I grew up always feeling deprived and now that I’m comfortably middle class, I’m conscious of little things like that nameplate that make me feel cheap. So I would need to spend that $20 where she couldn’t care less.

It’s a lesson I want to learn. It’s really hard, yet there are people keeping horses in their lives who make do with much less. I admire them. Half the tack and supplies I buy are things my horse doesn’t need.

That said, I can’t see economizing enough to afford horse shows. No way.

13 Likes

Exactly, and that’s why I find the advice unhelpful in this scenario. That type of advice, to me, is kin to the “avocado toast” conundrum — the asinine suggestion that us millennials would be able to own property if we just skipped a weekly brunch with friends. Like, I don’t think OP getting her bangs trimmed is really what’s making her horse bills unattainable.

48 Likes

None of SuzieQNutter’s suggestions are anything that would remotely solve even a fraction of a problem that anyone like the OP is having. So, while it’s interesting to hear how SuzieQNutter has been able to make having horses in her life possible in a way that satisfies SuzieQNutter, none of it will make even a tiny bit of difference for the OP. That is the point that others are trying to make.

40 Likes

Yes, exactly on the need to attract someone to your barn! Be open to looking outside your barn for a half leaser - that’s how I found the mare I lease. I wasn’t even really looking to lease, and had never even been to the barn she is at, but I saw an ad, arranged to try her, and love her. Her owner now doesn’t feel pressured to ride 5 days a week or pay for training rides, and it works for me because I can only manage 2-3 rides a week.

1 Like

When I was in my early -mid 20’s, I was working full time and doing grad school at night. This was when I bought my first horse because I needed some sanity. The difference: not a fancy horse, just a nice, pretty QH who I rode 3 times a week, as a trail horse - even in upstate NY winters. Boarded at a nice barn, lots of turnout, but not a show barn. It was, however, across the road from 1500 acres of park. Now, many many moons later, I can tell you that set up was my sanity, my release, my time to breathe; I remember those days and rides well even after later years of showing, training, mulitple disciplines. It was no stress, just time for horse and me, my happy place.
Sounds to me like you are running yourself into the ground - not good. You can step away from some parts of your horse world without giving it all up forever. You may not necessarily have the option I described above, but I think you need to evaluate the reasonable range of options suggested in these posts - and set them against the priorities/obligations you have in your life. Two jobs, an SO relationship and trying to train for and show in a $$ discipline in a $$ market wont make Canterplease a nice person, lol.
Wish you luck, these are not easy decisions…

9 Likes

Ohhhh…what I wouldn’t give to be suffering in poverty with a six figure job. I can’t relate and I don’t feel sorry for you. I managed to go to a couple A shows and a couple local shows every year on 50K a year. Guess what if you’re going to have horses, you have to give stuff up. I have an average car, an average apartment, I don’t get my nails done, and I don’t go out to eat and waste money. That’s just for starters. Horses are expensive.

10 Likes

Tempe has nail it on the head! But something that TheRidge said I wanted to post again. Living in NYC isn’t all that unique to any other sprawling city. Most, if not all, have high rent, travel is time consuming, and there isn’t reliable equine space close by. So you have to make a choice, what’s more important to you?

I don’t have much advice for your situation, but I do sympathize. I was facing a similar situation, and basically could not make it work. We were in a HCOL area, paying >$2k/mo for an extremely unglamorous apartment closer to family. All reasonable barns were going to be at least 40 min away, not including traffic, and cost almost as much as our rent. There was not going to be a way to own a horse, even without any showing. So how did I do it? I waited many years until I was more financially and professionally stable. We moved to a much cheaper area, with a much higher density of barns and shows. Still commuting 45+ minutes to the barn though :expressionless:

At the time, I couldn’t imagine living without riding, but I did it for a while, and then started taking a lesson here and there, and as I got my feet under me eventually got my own. I’m not saying you should do this, but for me it was doable because I was determined to make it work after a certain number of years and I can handle delayed gratification better than most. On the other hand, I don’t agree that you can put off horse goals indefinitely. For me, I worry about health or other life surprises getting in the way. So, as you already know, you have to make the best decisions for your priorities based on the reasonable options you have. Oh, and I’m on income-based repayment, which hopefully won’t come back to bite in the long term!

2 Likes