When to admit you're over-horsed?

[MapleBreeze]

When its not fun or safe - its time to move on. Its okay to take the loss and move on. I just got a perfectly perfect sale horse because in the seller’s eyes she was to green and spooky, and in my eyes shes a level headed saint. Im jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store but i know it was a hard decision for the seller.

Sometimes its not skill - just the personalities clash. Its not anything to do with your ability to ride.

Also, how old is the horse? My heathen 6 year olds that i threaten to sell daily will be angels at eight. Its a long slow grind at that age just puttering through.

Also sometimes you need to change trainers a few times to figure out the one that works for the horse.

[signmypapyrus]

I bought my first baby that I’m semi-starting myself (with the help of a trainer) and she’s safe and sound. Like absolutely nothing bothers her. I’m also thankful to have the aid of amazing trainers who have helped me so my horse is mentally sound. She’s actually already been used as a nanny because she’s so patient with other horses, but gently teaches boundaries.

I think it helped that I was over horsed, realized that, and immediately got into lessons. That was my first mare who was so bonded to me that she would stop eating when I wouldn’t go out to the barn, so I realized I needed help. We ended up becoming an amazing pair because I took lots of lessons with different trainers and sought help any time I could get help. Now I know better and go for the “sane and gentle” horses. I waited almost twenty years to start my own baby (after helping start other people’s babies) and my kid is pretty cool.

[JBCool]

What @MapleBreeze said! I just had to make that same call this spring with the horse I’d had 6.5 years. I think the personality clash was big part of the problem. Actually, we were too much a like in the wrong ways and instead of going up the hill of progress, we were going in circles having to make the same progress over and over. He is on his way to finding his right partner and I have a new one I already feel so much better on. But it was nearly as hard a decision as euthanizing his predecessor.

[Against_All_Odds2]

When you write about it on CoTH. That’s when I sold lol (around 60 days) And got a wonderful young gelding out of it and some FUN back in my life!

[candyappy]

I haven’t experienced that but for me, it would be when I dreaded riding that horse. Time to move on.

[Turntable]

If you are not a beginner but the horse has to be “in a program” for you to be safe or comfortable riding it - then you are overhorsed. And yes, I think many people are overhorsed. Or at least lack confidence in themselves and their horse to handle themselves and deal with the unexpected. And the horse keeping situation matters too.

The flip side is that many horses here in CA are not well trained to do anything other than go around in the arena by the people who start them under saddle. They do not trail ride or even ride about the farm, they are not exposed to things like traffic or other animals or water etc… So the horses lack experience and the riders do too, and many of the trainers also lack it and there is no turn out for exercise so it becomes a very strange situation where it is considered normal to have a horse you are afraid/ unable to ride except under a very specific type of circumstance where it all works well. So it is hard for riders to break out of that unless they move to a new environment. I know many people who moved horses to cheaper “backyard” or trail oriented facilities after the 2008 crash and suddenly found that they and their horse could trail ride and that it was fun and that the horse was happier outside in a paddock than in a stall all day and also much quieter and safer to rider.

[Baybear]

A few years ago I was looking for a 2nd horse as my other was heading towards retirement. Found a sweet fairly green but quiet youngster and priced very well. While I don’t feel I was over-horsed, as another poster said, after a few months he decided whoa this working bit is not what I signed up for. I had a bizarre episode with him at the mounting block which I thought may be related to a too tight girth, but then he bolted off when I just gave him a little cluck. Hmm. Then I get a call from the BO wanting to discuss him because he apparently launched the BM/assistant trainer, not once but twice. She does not come off. BO didn’t mince any words in telling me he had to go. Not the horse for me and she can’t risk having her barn manager getting hurt. Crazy thing was, I had on trial for a week, all was well but one day he acted up a little which made me question whether he was right for me. The BM really liked him and showed how quiet he really was etc etc. Turned out my gut instinct was right but I chose to ignore it. Fortunately I hadn’t become too emotionally or financially invested in him so it was easy to make decisions about what to do. Lesson learned - trust your instinct…

Do not feel guilty about being over-horsed. Sometimes a change in feed or more turnout can make a difference sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do, it’s just simply not a good fit. You have to decide if its time to cut your loses and find a horse that gives you more pleasure to ride and that you look forward to riding, not dreading. Now that I’m in the “mature” rider category it’s even more important to me to have a certain type - my needs have changed and while looks a are still important that bombproof safe factor adds a lot to the cuteness factor.

[eightpondfarm]

i’m with you on that one. For each and every horse that is not-easy, i rejoice. For me, the goal is the journey, not the destination. I love searching and stretching how to find the key in an individual animal. How to switch them over and then build on that tiny little kernel of something-good that is right there, inbetween the two of us. Form that into a bubble of us-ness and voila! a good working pair.

[FjordBCRF]

This was my MO when I was younger. When I got to do my first lease, I had 3 horses to choose from. I chose the one that was a little hotter because she was more fun to ride than the ones that were more of the plod along type. We bought her after the lease. When she retired from showing and I was looking at horses, I tried a push button Imma Big Leaguer QH mare. She was gorgeous, and would clean up in any English class. She was SO dull to me and didn’t seem to have much (or was allowed to) share her personality. As a teen, I wanted something that I could work with and not just sit pretty on.

Now. As an adult…I don’t want anything unsafe. When I got my gelding as a 3YO, I figured I’d see how he was and if he seemed to need more miles on him before I was comfortable, I’d have a trainer work with him. He was fine, to the point of riding trails bareback while I got saddle fitting sorted out and has been a total JOY training and working with. I really enjoy being able to bond and make progress with a horse and with him being a blank slate, it has just been so rewarding. Having goals to work towards is a good place for me with horses.

@eightpondfarm I think this is the third thread I’ve tagged on to one of your posts this morning, it seems like we have some things in common

[signmypapyrus]

I’m a big fan of your boy!

[FjordBCRF]

Awww thank you!!

Im actually just getting ready to head over to the barn now, we have an EZ entry cart coming. He is broke to drive and his previous owner drove him a decent bit the spring/summer before I bought him. Looking forward to learning from him!!

[beowulf]

The best time to admit you’re overhorsed is before you get hurt.

[Olgreymare]

I’m in this situation now with a young horse I bought about a year and a half ago. He’s the horse I wanted when I was a kid and the horse that would be great for the rider I wish I still was, but not the horse I need now unless I seriously up my game. But with kids, job, house, and husband I’m not sure I can do that. What I do know is that our last trainer kicked him/us out of her program due to unpredictable behavior (he’s a very anxious 4yo OTTB - nuff said) and lack of progress. Our new trainer has taken him on with the plan that if he doesn’t show progress and an ability to settle with a more low stress approach, then she will recommend selling him and buying something more suitable. I really do like him though and wish I could be the right person for him, which makes it hard.

[xQHDQ]

My theory is that when it’s not working between horse and rider, you have only 3 things that can change:

1. The horse: sell it, put it into training, change living arrangements (eg, T/O 24-7), change equipment, etc.
2. The rider: get more fit, gain more skills, overcome fear,etc.
3. The program: new trainer, different riding routine (eg, if only riding in the mornings, switch to afternoons or trainer rides 20 min, owner rides 20 min, etc), new discipline, etc.
   Or a combination thereof.

Another thing I’ve told numerous people is that a horse is not a motorcycle. It has a brain, and maybe the relationship isn’t working for him either. Selling him may make him happier.

I had a horse I kept 4 years longer than I should have due to the guilt, feelings of failure, depression over lost funds. He hated me and I hated to ride him. I ended up finding him a family who when my horse first met them, his eyes lit up and it only got better after they brought him home.

I had another horse who was way too much horse for me to the point of casually putting him up for sale. I ended up changing the program (#3 above) and although it took about a year, we are now a fantastic team. Before I got this horse, I knew it would be a difficult road (baby horse), so I invested the time in improving myself (#2); it wasn’t enough, but it did set us up for success after changing #3. What kept me going was the continued (albeit slow) improvement after changing #3 and also the issues I was having made him a difficult sell, so we would have to work through them one way or the other before he was sellable.

It’s both a blessing and a curse how much these equines mean to us.

[TWH_Girl]

I am writing without reading any of the other responses so it comes fully from my heart and my experience. I bought this LOVELY 5 yr old TWH gelding passing through KY on our way to a trip to the Smokies a few years back.

His name was Elvis and he was sweet, a fun ride and was a great mover, as they say in the world of Walking Horses, with a lovely canter. I bought him for his canter because I drooled over it. I should have listened to that little voice when I tried him out and he jumped while the seller was adjusting the saddle. I went through he** getting him shipped to WI. When he arrived, he looked at me like a foreign object- he was wound TIGHT. He protested twice when I tried to ride him the first time and I fell. Twice. Still I persisted. I called trainers I knew, took lessons, had good moments- some really good moments. I put him in training for 60 days. I rode him at shows and he was a rockstar even with race cars at the state fairground track. He did not move a muscle when a tornado siren went off nearby while at a show. Still- there was always that propensity to spook, bolt and dump me. I moved barns and then things soured. He dumped me repeatedly at the new barn and my back took a hit. Every time I mounted I felt sick and anxious. I wore a vest, a trauma void helmet and my dr was going to prescribe me benzidiazepines to use before riding…I took tons of online classes to deal with riding anxiety…it finally dawned on me that I did not have rider anxiety, I only had Elvis anxiety. When that began to transfer to my steady eddy mount, I knew then I had to stop. We were not a good fit. While he was great at shows and nothing phazed him there, he was an anxious and reactive horse at home and by myself, which is where/how I spend 90% of my riding time.

I tried for two years, put some posts on CotH but know deep down that the only answer was to part ways. I sold him at a loss and to date have not replaced him. I am finally thinking about getting another nice quiet trail mount, maybe a QH, this next year. Still a little anxiety left over from Mr Elvis lingers. I still think of him, have his picture in my office at work and miss him, but as for riding, we weren’t just a match made in heaven.

It’s a very hard decision that can only be made when you are truly ready. Many hugs!!

[TWH_Girl]

BTDT. Life is too short and yours is too precious to be injured. You will figure it out. took me 2 years.

[Alterration]

When all the conditions have to be perfect in order to ride it (e.g. not windy, no one in the arena, etc. etc. etc.) you’re over-horsed.

I’m of two minds with “it has to be in a program”. I have a few horses that need to stay in a program to be safe…but it’s my program. I just know there are a few I won’t ride unless they’ve been adequately prepared with several weeks of quiet training ahead of time.

I also think there’s nothing wrong with buying a horse and having the trainer ride it until it’s ready for you, if that is what you want.

But - in those cases you need to acknowledge that’s the situation you bought and wanted.

Again, if you’re asking the question, you’re likely overhorsed.

[McGurk]

I got rid of one when I realized he could get me off pretty much any time he wanted. Not malicious, but often fresh, spooky and silly. And a very athletic bucker.

I was a working mother at the time, and could only ride on weekends, and just wanted to hack out; he was absolutely a horse that needed a routine and to be ridden 5 - 6X a week. He was gorgeous and typey, but just not suitable for my lifestyle. I would have really gotten a lot out of him when I was running a barn and lesson program.

I think I made the common mistake of getting the horse I needed 10 - 15 years ago, not the one I needed right then.

He went to a local show barn and was leased as a show horse and was much happier.

[TWH_Girl]

@McGurk

I think I made the common mistake of getting the horse I needed 10 - 15 years ago, not the one I needed right then.

Or wanted. I would love to be able to ride a certain type of horse, but the reality is that’s not me. It takes a bit of honesty and soul searching to realize that!

[erinmeri]

My best advice is that it is an individual decision for everyone and that a good trainer should be able to help make the decision. I know you’re already working with a pro, so I would follow their lead.

That said… I commented on the previous iteration of this thread about a horse I had that made me quit riding for 17 years. She was amazingly talented, incredibly gorgeous and scopey (GP level scope), but she was a pro ride and I was a junior. Because she was amazingly talented, incredibly gorgeous, and scopey, the ambitious idiot junior I was didn’t understand that she was a pro ride until it was too late. She could have been the horse for me in a few years, but was not the horse for me at that time.

My current horse is quirky and not a beginner ride, and I got her less than two months after getting back in the tack. It hasn’t always been easy, and we have gone through phases where I haven’t been having fun and I worried that I was overhorsed. That said, we worked through the downs and she is 100% the horse for me. It just took us a while to get there - which was primarily me getting over my fears, figuring her out, and getting fit. Upping my game as you put it. And, my trainer had a come to Jesus talk with me about me believing that I was good enough. Once I believed in myself - that I could ride her well, and get through any rough spots - things turned around quite quickly. We also figured out management changes that have mellowed her out considerably.

So really, I had to commit to me getting better mentally and physically and to figuring out what it took to make her happy. If I wasn’t committed, and if I hadn’t been able to find the mental toughness and confidence to commit, then I would have probably been overhorsed. Now, we are great partners and I know that her spooks aren’t going to get me off, that I can influence the ride and make her easier by staying balanced in the saddle and educated in my aids, and that we will always get to the other side of the fence. I trust her to take care of me, and I trust me to take care of her. And now, she is SO MUCH FUN.

Others don’t want to have a horse that takes that kind of work, or cannot make the commitment for myriad reasons, which is fine too. I have a friend who cuts bait when they are intimidated quite quickly and is very specific about what they need to feel safe. That’s fine too. It’s about knowing your limits and enlisting the advice of others more knowledgeable than you when you’re unsure.

All that said, the getting kicked out of a program and unpredictability give me pause. I know he’s a 4 year old and an OTTB, but have you explored ulcers or other causes of unpredictability? For me, it turned out my horse had asthma and between treating that and putting her on lady hormones, she has become a very different horse. Ditto for an asthmatic, ulcer-prone gelding I know who is a different horse after those things were addressed.

Horses are animals, and to some degree unpredictable. But for my horse and the others I ride, I know what their spooks, scoots, and fresh attitudes feel like, and I am confident I can ride them out. If I was at all unsure about how a horse might behave day-to-day or whether it was beyond my skill set to ride it out (or deal with it in-hand), then I would 100% move on personally. If my trusted pro wasn’t confident with the horse, even more so.

Long-winded. Hope that helps a little.