I’ve been waiting a long time to read Willem’s explanation; of course he doesn’t disappoint!
LeDuc, it is always a good idea to mind your Ps and Qs near the mares. Is there a stallion in your barn who you could learn from also? I’d hate to see you get hurt trying to make whoopee with the schatzis.
“Both rider and horse must enjoy the work. This is the essence of success” - Reiner Klimke
umm, is anyone else totally ‘out of the loop’ here???
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by starlite:
good one, windsor 
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I don’t think too many, ahem, horses post here–mostly Willem and his friends. Because he is “ein German horse” Willem posts with a German “accent” that can make his posts a little difficult to read. If you do a search for some of his old posts, though, many of them are REALLY funny–consequently Willem has quite the fan club here.
Mein little Ducster, you don’t nott to can do this until you be THREE YEARS OLD. Und you don’t nott to can do this un less you be doing it to make baby horse or iffen you be in ein condominium. Wenn you do this in ein condominium, this it be called Burst Control und it mean you don’t nott to haff baby then.
Mannie peoples they make little horse babies wot don’t nott not haff no beeswax being here becose we all ready haff mannie horses in der world. Und zo iffen you be making ein baby horse you can to only do this mit ein bodyguard. Iffen more horses they doed this only mit bodyguard, und only wenn it beed ein perfecto match, then mebbe places like New Holland und slaughterhowse they goed out off bizness.
I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Willem:
Hoochie Bucket
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
EIIIWWWWW!!! 
[I]One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
Cousin Willem,
You, as always, have provided the most enlightening instructions to LeDuc! I now know why mares always want to stick their fannies in my face - they want me to pay their credit card bills and “this it be wrong.” Thanks for the tip!!
Loff
Cousin Woody
Ah, Willem.
Ah, Le Duc-ster.
So many schatzis.
SO little time.
If only Willem had been able to 'splain all this to Sigmund Freud, the entire WORLD would be a better place to live.
I am sincerely and entirely grateful that this, our generation, has been able to benefit from this eternal wisdom.
NOW I KNOW who is actually whispering the answers to the little guy who sits up on the top of the mountain, in that cave.
Of course–it turns out to be a horse!
Yet another reason to frequent the COTH BB, and yet another reason why WILLEM was voted COTH BB HOTY.
How lucky we are…
wait, you guys post as your horses? ok, i get it, i suppose, though it’s kind of hard to read… i think someone has a bit too much time on their hands, IMO!
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Old Nag Dreamer:
Well Im 30 years old and after reading that Im glad I never let any stalliondaddy check out my virginia. humf, but they do say that virigina is for lovers?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Yes, that could be another way of looking at it… Thanks to Willem, whenever I hear the word Virginia (which is also where I live) I will never think of the place, only of the object…
Horsey folks are stable people
And, because he is multi-lingual, bits and pieces of Spanish, Dutch and ? are sprinkled in with the “German”.
Laurie
[This message was edited by lauriep on Apr. 17, 2003 at 04:56 PM.]
Do you two realize you are missing some vital machinery to go about making foals?
Erin and Instant Karma
“Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone’s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!”
~Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
http://hometown.aol.com/ws6transamgirl/index.html
Mein Little Ducster,
This for ever will all ways be ein secret iffen wot this if haff beed me or not. You don’t nott to never know wenn I show up!
For mein bersday this year, because I be turning twenny-one, again I want to havee VAN HALEN play at mein partie! Und if this wot it be happening for sure und I get them und not Carlos Santana, I haff you come to mein partie.
Loff Willem.
PS Happie Easter!
PPS: Awkremmit, we don’t nott to haff not Bambis at mein howse aber we haff mannie Peter Rabbits.
I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by starlite:
wait, you guys post as your horses? ok, i get it, i suppose, though it’s kind of hard to read… i think someone has a bit too much time on their hands, IMO
HULLO EVERYBODY!
It’s my birfday!!! I am 14 months old andandandand I am finally a FULL GROWN DADDY HORSE andandand I CAN MAKE FOLDEDS! I am going to start right away with the little white pony who lives down the aisle from me.
HAHAHAHA
I AM THE DEVIL’S pony with lightning in my hooves, twigs in my teeth and baby dust on my spankmonkey. HAHAHAHAHA. I will break all the fillies hearts, just like Herr Papa Willem Daddy! They will all cry large tears when I walk by… and I will have GROUPIES!!!
IS EVERYONE COMING TO MY PARTY!? I will have loud music and surfing. I will have lotslotslots of Karrotten with special OAT DIP (the chunky kind) and we will PARTY till the weeweewee hours!
And all you cutie fillies are invited to come by … YIPPEE
[B](Psssst. Herr Papa Willem … are you SURE you got this right? I didn’t want to say anything in front of everybody, because I didn’t want to embarrass you. But I don’t think this is right … it sounds really gross. Andandand I loff Mama Coreene … I don’t think this is right. I don’t want to put my spankmonkey to Virginia.)[/B]
Le Duc de Willem
(but you can call me Duc-ster)
[This message was edited by Le Duc on Apr. 17, 2003 at 08:00 AM.]
Mein little Ducster, now you be fourteen months old! Und becose your life wot it be being ein daddy horsje, here be der instructiones.
Mein selve I haff all ways finded mares wot they be ein different species. Kind off like Arabians. Mannie time they don’t nott to know iffen they be coming or going. There be this man called Reggie Mate wot he come and talk to them some times und tell them to get mit der program aber usually this it usually don’t nott to work.
Mares wot they haff baby horse eggs in their virginia. The virginia it haff opening under der tail in der middleburg between butt cheeks. Wenn you be going to make baby horse wot it be like this. You look at mare und say “Hallo mein schatzi, do you want ein poke?” Mares wot they loff to haff ein poke.
You should be doing this mit der bodyguard wot also be called handler. Becose other wise mares they come after you und they want to haff relationship und they want to marry you und they want you to buy them mannie things und share your karroten mit you. Und this it be wrong.
Any ways, wenn you ask her if she want ein poke, die mare she right a-way will sticken her tail up und say “JA, JA, JA, JA, JA!!!” Just like wenn Meg Ryan haff beed in der delicatessen on Wenn Harry Meeted Sally. Then it be time to giff her ein poke. You get behind her und jump on her sitzen und putt der spankmonkey in der virgina. Der spankmonkey it all ready know that you be doing this und it be stiffy. Die mare she haff dreams then von shopping und credit cards wot you pay der bill for.
Der spankmoney for like some time in between ten seconds und ein hour (mein wot it be ein hour), it work und then it start to tickle. It feel like toe part von your hoofes they curl und you scream “AY CARAMBA!!!” Your tail it whip up und down.
Then you haff organism, get off die mare, go home und go to sleep. Some times they want to haff cigarette aber der best thing to do is loff them und leave them.
Und then wenn you haff doed this, baby dust it haff comed out off your spankmonkey und it go to der baby horse eggs, und then ein few weeks later die mare she get verrie fat und then one morning she wake up und there be ein baby horse in her howse. This it means she haff folded.
Iffen you don’t want to haff no baby, you haff poke in ein condominium. Und some times der chaperone they let you practice mounting wenn you use AI machine, wot it also be called Hoochie Bucket. Then they sell baby dust for mannie dollares und put der money in die karroten fund.
You all ways haff to say “please” und “danke schon.” Becose it be verrie muy importante to be ein gentleman.
Loff Willem.
I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
[This message was edited by Willem on Apr. 17, 2003 at 12:36 AM.]
good one, windsor
So… Where does this leave West Virginia? 
Herr Papa Willem Daddy … Aunti Portia and Oncle Woody
I sneaked a toplap for a moment. I can’t talk to you as I am in the Paszture and I am supposed to be feasting on green grass (I had some very tasty onion grass on a few days ago andandandand I was SICK with FARTS!) They took the little pony away yesterday. They told me she couldn’t play because her seasoning was wrong. I didn’t understand.
All I can say is PAAHR-TEE, PAAHR-TEE, PAAHR-TEE.
Le Duc de Willem
(but you can call me Duc-ster)
For those who do not know Willem:
Well I am just gobstopped.
Woodinville is NOT the Middleburg of Washington State.
Willem I will let you recover then you haff to offer your words of wisdom to filly what be looken for ein studmuffin. 
_\]
– * > hoopoe
The ancient Greeks did not write obituaries. They only wanted to know if you had a passion.
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