As a reminder to everyone, if you have been offered a free horse or pony who has been outgrown by someone’s child or grandchild, no matter the age, make sure you know who you are dealing with and realize that they have nothing to lose.
Over a month ago I posted looking for an inexpensive pony for my children to learn with and got many great responses that I put into play. Was offered many wonderful pony’s and small horses in varying prices, disciplines and sizes, but one in particular stood out to me (because of COTH). The owner and I spoke for a month through online messages, facebook, on the phone and I offered to Skype to ensure she was comfortable with me, my children, the boarding facility we board at and showed pictures of my transforming Thoroughbred. The night before we were to leave to make the 7 hour one way drive with the horse trailer, we had this conversation (I took out the names and information that would say who everyone is to be respectful of their privacy):
Wednesday 9:44pm ME
Hi! Tried to give you a call but it may be to late. I wanted to make sure everything was good for tomorrow and see if you had any questions or concerns. I also wanted to go over what we decided to do. If we would bring her back here with a contract that you have first options if ever (which you will never have to worry about as she will never leave us) if there is ever a problem or if we will do a trial for a couple of weeks before finalizing? I promise always lots of pictures and constant updates in addition to anytime visits, lol. You can ask my mares breeder! We are looking forward to meeting you tomorrow and hope we don’t look to crazy after being in the car for hours with the kids, lol!!! Thank you so much! J, B and E (my children) are very excited and made sure her stall was all ready tonight while I got the trailer hooked up. They even went to bed!!! Well, we will see you tomorrow! Will update you along the way so you will know where we are. My phone number is 000-000-0000 to just incase you need it again.
HER
Thank you so much for the mail, we are looking forward to meet your family tomorrow and will talk about everything, have a safe trip!!!
ME
We will and look forward to tomorrow as well. I want to make sure everything is good though. Mainly because my husband is doing a lot to help me get everything ready and I want him to continue to be involved and helping us.
I know that everyone is excited about getting her and if it doesn’t work out, I won’t get another chance. I want my entire family to be involved in horses.
HER
I totally understand that and I think its great that he is so supportive. About the contract, I admit that we haven’t looked into any types of contract yet, so if it is ok with you we would write one tomorrow. I would like to make firm that we will get her back if anything goes wrong… You are not allowed to sell her. Thats really my most important point. By the way, do you have my adress?
ME
Yes and thank you, that would be fine. And I can promise you she won’t go anywhere. She will not be sold or given to anyone. If there is ever a time when we can’t keep her for whatever reason, you will be the first to know.
And no, I don’t have it. That might be important
HER
could be My adress is (her address) and I guess you have my cell phone??
ME
think that is the number I have. It is the one you called me from I believe. I saved it.
Correct me if I am wrong though. Please
HER
Yes it is
ME
Good. And just so you know, my cell phone number is the same one we have had for 12 years. It is never going to change, lol.
So between Facebook and cell phone plus I can give you my email, you will always have a way to get pictures!
HER
sounds good
ME
(My email)
HER
Thank you !!
ME
Thank you. I can’t even tell you how much this means to me. It really is the greatest gift. Thank you for sharing her with us.
HER
as long as she and your family will enjoy each other, that is all we want my son will be there too… he is a little concerned that (Pony name) will leave…
ME
I can’t wait to meet him and have him meet my children. I think once he meets B (my daughter), he will probably feel better though I know he will miss her. She was his first pony. That will always be special. He will always be able to visit to and hopefully one day soon, we will be living down there to.
HER
I really hope that will work out for you. It is beautiful down here and he would like to visit her.
And that conversation went into other topics that included the fact we are looking to move to her area.
Earlier in the week I sent her this:
ME
Monday 9:00pm
Hi! We hope you had a wonderful Easter! I want to give you an update: We reserved the trailer and paid for two days so we could take our time in coming down and going back. Had the truck and trailer inspected by the mechanic to make sure everything is good to make the trip and we are cleared to go. I figured we would be, but I prefer to be safe than sorry, lol. We got her stall ready, bought extras of everything from minerals and carrots to ground flax and Triple Crown and have decided which pasture she will do the best in. My husband is working on getting time off so he can come down with us and as soon as I have the days, I will let you know. He knows it has to be this week and within a day or two. (Her request) So, everything is coming together and we are super excited. I showed my husband her videos today and my daughter was very excited telling him that (Pony name) is her pony and she is going to get to ride her and brush her and take care of her. When you meet her you will see how cute this is. Thank you very much for everything. I really hope you still like us when we get there (joking given the amount of time we communicated and how much she said we were perfect for the pony and just what she wanted for her) because everyone is on board and I don’t think I would be able to get my husband to again! This opportunity is amazing and I can’t tell you how much it is appreciated by all of us. Thank You
Her
sounds good looking forward to meet you all!!
And there is a lot more. So she knew we were coming down to pick her up. That we reserved and paid for the trailer use through the barn, paid extra for a mechanic to check truck and trailer before the trip, bought and prepared items, paid to hold a double size stall next to my mare in the barn at the first of the month so it would be ours for when she got there and not given to another boarder, took time off work because she wanted us to come before the 11th, and had gas (4.5 tanks) and food expenses for 3 children and two adults, etc. Not to mention my children having to ride for that long because they were excited to be getting their pony and I wanted her to meet everyone in my family as well as meet hers.
This is what happened. We pulled to an absolutely stunning facility and expected to meet the pony, talk for a while, do the contract and leave given we had 7 hours to drive back and would be stopping several times to check on her, give water and let the children walk around. She kept saying the contract was at the house and that her son, then her husband, then one of the two would be bringing it down. She had my children ride. We watched her son who is far to tall to be riding her any more to so my husband and children could she how she behaved. They told my Daughter this was her pony and that she was leaving with us today, but they kept stalling on bringing down the contract and kept showing me the pony’s tack that they asked if I would be interested in buying. The bridle I was as she went well in it. A few of the other items like the blankets, boots, fly hat I was considering. The saddle I wasn’t because it was 4 sizes to big. I wanted to have our saddle fitter come out and fit one properly to both the pony and my children. They refused to let us take the pony without buying everything at their price saying if we aren’t willing to buy all of her things and do it without questioning the prices then it was obvious we couldn’t afford the expense of a pony and that they didn’t feel comfortable. It was never in any agreement that we would buy all of that. We were coming for the pony. If I bought anything extra, that would have been my choice, not a requirement. Before finding out that was the only problem, I even called my mares breeder who kindly agreed to talk to her to see what was going on. It had nothing to do with us.
So we ended up leaving without the pony they told my children was theirs, had groom and ride and got them even more excited over all because they didn’t feel comfortable with us not wanting to buy a “package” deal that was never the agreement in the first place and not brought up until after we had driven all the way down there.
So here is the reminder lesson: Watch the amount of time and money you are putting into something not knowing the person you are dealing especially when they aren’t putting anything into the deal. They aren’t going to lose anything in the process, you are. And that goes double when you have children involved.
Class dismissed. 
