Word to the Wise: Lesson Reminder for Everyone

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=SuckerForHorses;8098277]
Well then the owner should’ve just said “I changed my mind” with no explanation, instead of trying to add in required terms of the deal.

Just say it and be done with it.[/QUOTE]

Reading through this whole saga, it sounds like the owner had reservations upon meeting the OP’s family in person (hence the delay in bringing down the contract, etc.) I would not be surprised if asking if the OP was interested in the tack was some sort of test to see if the OP had the financial resources available for the pony. The OP evidently failed the test.

I’m not saying it was handled seamlessly by the pony’s owner, but her pony, her rules.

[trubandloki]

[QUOTE=french fry;8098262]
OP, has it ever occurred to you that no one owes you a free pony? Even if the owner changed her mind at the last minute, she doesn’t owe you an explanation.[/QUOTE]
I do not read it that the OP thinks someone owes her a free pony.
Not at all.

I think anyone would be frustrated by having an agreement, going out of their way to hold up their side of the agreement, and then having it fall thru.

[TBROCKS]

[QUOTE=SuckerForHorses;8098213]
This is a good perspective too. Maybe they had nothing against you, liked you, but simply just changed their minds and didn’t want to piss you off by saying that outright, so they made up the tack deal to force you to just say nevermind.

Still annoying. :lol:[/QUOTE]

What if she bought all the tack without batting an eye?

[ybiaw]

[QUOTE=TBROCKS;8098288]
What if she bought all the tack without batting an eye?[/QUOTE]

Moot. Moot moooooot!

LOL, if she had bought all the tack without batting an eye, I’m sure something else would have come up to stop the transaction.

I missed that this was a free pony? I don’t understand how people on this board can go out of their way to encourage someone who outright SOLD a horse and then months later changed their mind about it to go get the horse back, but can’t understand that a pony owner trying to rehome a FREE pony wants to make sure it goes to the best possible permanent home.

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=trubandloki;8098287]
I do not read it that the OP thinks someone owes her a free pony.
Not at all.

I think anyone would be frustrated by having an agreement, going out of their way to hold up their side of the agreement, and then having it fall thru.[/QUOTE]

If you look in the text/online message transcript, the owner was very careful not to say, “YOU’RE GOING HOME WITH A PONY TOMORROW!” and instead said things like, “we’ll talk about it tomorrow” and “I hope it works out.”

I agree it was insensitive to refer to the pony as the OP’s pony in front of the kids, etc., but the owner could have really been planning to go forward with giving away the pony to the OP until something made her fully reconsider.

Bottom line: if someone had posted to COTH that they feel terrible because they had made arrangements for someone to bring their trailer several hours to come look at the pony and initially it seemed to be a good fit but she had last minute reservations and then became concerned about their financial resources since they were seeking a free pony and didn’t want to buy the pony’s tack, so the family left the property pony-less, we would all be giving the person headpats and saying not to feel bad since she did the right thing for the horse.

[SnicklefritzG]

[QUOTE=french fry;8098284]
Reading through this whole saga, it sounds like the owner had reservations upon meeting the OP’s family in person (hence the delay in bringing down the contract, etc.) I would not be surprised if asking if the OP was interested in the tack was some sort of test to see if the OP had the financial resources available for the pony. The OP evidently failed the test.

I’m not saying it was handled seamlessly by the pony’s owner, but her pony, her rules.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn’t think the tack issue was in any way related to figuring out the owner’s financial resources. Maybe the OP wanted to buy her own tack. That would be perfectly reasonable.

It just sounds like the seller changed her mind for whatever reason and though the tack deal would be a convenient way to get out of it.

[PeanutButterPony]

You are crazy to think that a month of online chatter equals that pony was coming home with you.

You are crazy if you think this won’t turn into a **** storm when the other party sees this. How tacky of you.

They dodged a bullet by keeping the pony.

[TBROCKS]

[QUOTE=ybiaw;8098293]
Moot.[/QUOTE]

No kidding. But the logic is flawed there.

[Amiblue]

[QUOTE=french fry;8098284]
Reading through this whole saga, it sounds like the owner had reservations upon meeting the OP’s family in person (hence the delay in bringing down the contract, etc.) I would not be surprised if asking if the OP was interested in the tack was some sort of test to see if the OP had the financial resources available for the pony. The OP evidently failed the test.

I’m not saying it was handled seamlessly by the pony’s owner, but her pony, her rules.[/QUOTE]

How is saying not purchasing a saddle that is 4 sizes to big for my children indicating our ability to financially afford a pony?

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=SnicklefritzG;8098296]
I wouldn’t think the tack issue was in any way related to figuring out the owner’s financial resources. Maybe the OP wanted to buy her own tack. That would be perfectly reasonable.

It just sounds like the seller changed her mind for whatever reason and though the tack deal would be a convenient way to get out of it.[/QUOTE]

The seller may have changed their mind for another reason and used the tack as an excuse, but she straight up said that the reason was that she wasn’t comfortable that the OP’s family could afford the pony:

“They refused to let us take the pony without buying everything at their price saying if we aren’t willing to buy all of her things and do it without questioning the prices then it was obvious we couldn’t afford the expense of a pony and that they didn’t feel comfortable.”

[TBROCKS]

[QUOTE=french fry;8098295]
Bottom line: if someone had posted to COTH that they feel terrible because they had made arrangements for someone to bring their trailer several hours to come look at the pony and initially it seemed to be a good fit but she had last minute reservations and then became concerned about their financial resources since they were seeking a free pony and didn’t want to buy the pony’s tack, so the family left the property pony-less, we would all be giving the person headpats and saying not to feel bad since she did the right thing for the horse.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn’t. Why would anyone judge the OP for expecting a free pony to be FREE? Since when does the test of good ownership come in the form of buying a saddle you don’t want?

[SnicklefritzG]

[QUOTE=french fry;8098295]
If you look in the text/online message transcript, the owner was very careful not to say, “YOU’RE GOING HOME WITH A PONY TOMORROW!” and instead said things like, “we’ll talk about it tomorrow” and “I hope it works out.”

I agree it was insensitive to refer to the pony as the OP’s pony in front of the kids, etc., but the owner could have really been planning to go forward with giving away the pony to the OP until something made her fully reconsider.

Bottom line: if someone had posted to COTH that they feel terrible because they had made arrangements for someone to bring their trailer several hours to come look at the pony and initially it seemed to be a good fit but she had last minute reservations and then became concerned about their financial resources since they were seeking a free pony and didn’t want to buy the pony’s tack, so the family left the property pony-less, we would all be giving the person headpats and saying not to feel bad since she did the right thing for the horse.[/QUOTE]

I honestly don’t think it’s that either, unless the seller is extremely insensitive. Most people who hadn’t made up their mind would keep those sorts of comments under wraps until the contract was signed and the deal was finalized.

The seller may very well have had valid reasons for not going through with the deal. If that were the case though, she should have owned it and not said things in front of the OP’s kids.

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=TBROCKS;8098313]
I wouldn’t. Why would anyone judge the OP for expecting a free pony to be FREE? Since when does the test of good ownership come in the form of buying a saddle you don’t want?[/QUOTE]

Are you truly saying that you would encourage someone to give away a pony to a home that they were uncomfortable with FOR ANY REASON because the potential home was really excited about getting the pony?

Please be serious.

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=SnicklefritzG;8098314]
I honestly don’t think it’s that either, unless the seller is extremely insensitive. Most people who hadn’t made up their mind would keep those sorts of comments under wraps until the contract was signed and the deal was finalized.

The seller may very well have had valid reasons for not going through with the deal. If that were the case though, she should have owned it and not said things in front of the OP’s kids.[/QUOTE]

I mean…yeah, it sucks that the pony was referred to as the OP’s in front of her kids, but until the contract is signed it’s not the OP’s horse.

Again, would you really support the following:

“I had a pony that I was hoping to give away to a good home. The potential new owner seemed great and I mentioned things about ‘your new pony’ but (some event or action) occurred that made me completely uncomfortable with giving the pony away to that person. I decided I was obligated to give the pony to the unsuitable home because I had spoken too soon earlier, though! Hope the pony’s life turns out okay!”

Again, I’m not saying the pony’s owner handled the situation perfectly. But she doesn’t have to. It is her pony and there was no contract signed.

[TBROCKS]

[QUOTE=french fry;8098315]
Are you truly saying that you would encourage someone to give away a pony to a home that they were uncomfortable with FOR ANY REASON because the potential home was really excited about getting the pony?

Please be serious.[/QUOTE]

No, but a little honesty would have gone a long way here. How about “I’m sorry, but we just don’t feel like this is a good fit. We won’t be giving our pony to you” instead of cloaking the issue in some sort of weird “BUY THIS SADDLE OR ELSE” deal. As I said in earlier posts, what if they had bought the saddle? That made them acceptable owners? I find that an odd test of ownership suitability.

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=TBROCKS;8098329]
No, but a little honesty would have gone a long way here. How about “I’m sorry, but we just don’t feel like this is a good fit. We won’t be giving our pony to you.”[/QUOTE]

Just throwing out a hypothetical: because the OP came off as a little unbalanced and she didn’t want an argument in front of all their children so thought a scapegoat excuse would be better?

The OP is obviously not handling the situation with a ton of grace and maturity since she’s complaining about the situation on a BB she knows the pony’s owner reads so it’s more than possible that she gave off an, “I’m going to make a scene” type vibe.

[GoForAGallop]

[QUOTE=ybiaw;8098293]

I missed that this was a free pony? I don’t understand how people on this board can go out of their way to encourage someone who outright SOLD a horse and then months later changed their mind about it to go get the horse back, but can’t understand that a pony owner trying to rehome a FREE pony wants to make sure it goes to the best possible permanent home.[/QUOTE]

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, with this crowd.

If someone is kind enough to give away a (worth it’s weight in gold) childsafe pony to another family full of children, I don’t get why they get stamped with “asshole” for asking that it comes safely back to their farm, but that’s COTH for you.

I imagine the never-seen contract would have been written up as more of a free lease, anyway.

[SnicklefritzG]

[QUOTE=french fry;8098308]
The seller may have changed their mind for another reason and used the tack as an excuse, but she straight up said that the reason was that she wasn’t comfortable that the OP’s family could afford the pony:

“They refused to let us take the pony without buying everything at their price saying if we aren’t willing to buy all of her things and do it without questioning the prices then it was obvious we couldn’t afford the expense of a pony and that they didn’t feel comfortable.”[/QUOTE]

That’s exactly why I think it’s something other than the financial stuff because it would have been very easy for the OP to counter the seller’s argument by stating that she wished to purchase her own tack. I think most people in the seller’s position would realize this. If it were truly a concern, they would have done their homework before the potential buyer made the trip. That is unless they just aren’t thinking.

I’ve never heard of anyone requiring a potential buyer to purchase anything other than the horse or pony in question. So that’s why I think it’s smokescreen for something else.

[trubandloki]

[QUOTE=french fry;8098262]

I’m getting out of here before this thread turns into the trainwreck it was clearly intended to be.[/QUOTE]
:lol:
Clearly this is not happening.
(FF leaving the thread, no idea about the train wreck.)

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=trubandloki;8098342]
:lol:
Clearly this is not happening.
(FF leaving the thread, no idea about the train wreck.)[/QUOTE]

I GOT SUCKED BACK IN OKAY? :lol:

Apparently I have a lot of feelings about the owner’s right to cancel a sale up until the very last second. Who woulda thought?