Menu

Stay in Touch
Sign up for ENews
Subscribe Now

Unlimited access >

Menu

Word to the Wise: Lesson Reminder for Everyone

Off Course
, ,
#161

[QUOTE=Amiblue;8099876]
I did not realize she could be searched from what I posted as that was never my intent. She is able to respond if she wishes and she is choosing not to at this time. For you to go to the extent of tracking someone down shows at lot more about who you are than anyone else. She has the right to her privacy if she wishes to maintain that and while I unintentionally passed along information that would allow someone to actively search her out, that doesn’t mean you should do that.

I expect her friends to jump all over me because you are her friends. You are going to try to justify her actions in any way you can. That doesn’t mean what she did was right.

Add: And I apologize, I did miss responding that I had posted letting everyone know we were coming back empty and the barn manager saw it, but the barn owner missed it. So she was calling to ask what was going on as the barn manager was not currently there.[/QUOTE]

You are quite a piece of work! You are all but begging - no, demanding her side of the story. And you aren’t begging privately- you’re flying your dirty laundry over centerfield.

I am not the Pony owner’s friend, but I’m not yours either - you cannot read for comprehension, you were never promised that pony, and you will not hold yourself accountable for any of the mess, and I hope that in the end no one here trusts you with their animal. [edit]

#162

[QUOTE=Amiblue;8099891]
I already did. I was not aware I had presented searchable information and I immediately changed it. Thank you for pointing it out to me.[/QUOTE]

Too late. The pony’s owner is reading this thread.

#163

Last time there was a thread where people’s personal information was outed, the mods came in and sanitized the thread and deleted some comments entirely. I hope they do that here as well. It is one thing to start a thread asking for advice, venting or whatever, but it has got a bit out of control. I hope the thread gets locked down shortly.

#164

[QUOTE=PeanutButterPony;8099928]
You are quite a piece of work! You are all but begging - no, demanding her side of the story. And you aren’t begging privately- you’re flying your dirty laundry over centerfield.

I am not the Pony owner’s friend, but I’m not yours either - you cannot read for comprehension, you were never promised that pony, and you will not hold yourself accountable for any of the mess, and I hope that in the end no one here trusts you with their animal. [edit][/QUOTE]

How do people get this worked up over a situation they have nothing to do with, over people they don’t even know? Good grief.

1 Like
#165

This comment alone should have been a HUGE red flag. This was not a free lease, she was relinquishing ownership of the pony to you.

Once the pony became yours, she has NO say in what you can do with it. None. The only thing she could have done was asked for a Right of First Refusal with specific buy back terms should you have decided for any reason not to keep the pony.

I would run, run, run from any seller who thinks she can tell you what you can and can’t do with the pony when she no longer owns it.

#166

this is what happens when you vent on COTH about COTHers… You say “she hss a right to privacy” and take down info giving her away, and youre told youre pretty much demanding her response. :no:

im sorry everyone lost it on you, and possibly PO too. Once somone on COTH suggested i put my horse down because I had a disagreement with a person living on the property…didnt make much sense… but ehh :confused:

I would have also probably been over enthusiastic about a free pony for my kids… I got a free OTTB from a COTHer several years ago and I was too happy about it, lol. But they saw through my joy and gave me the most loveable and level headed gelding. Couldve asked a lot for him or said I was too young or too excited or crazy or anything. But she was a dream to work with and all went smoothly.

#167

Well, well, this is such a small world. PO is a neighbor :slight_smile:

#168

[QUOTE=UlysMom;8099831]
Classy. You just outed the PO with the join date. The more you post, the more I think PO made the right decision for her pony.[/QUOTE]

I’m pretty sure it was quite accidental. Until I read the post from Three Wishes I had no idea one could do a user search based on join date and post count and I’ve been a forum member for a few years now. :slight_smile:

#169

I don’t know either one of you, but I can’t imagine going through all that hassle and then walking away over a crappy saddle. Lord knows I’ve spent more money on stupider things just to avoid seeing THAT look on my kid’s face.

#170

Just a side note…PO’s horses are seriously gorgeous. Me thinks she would only want the best for her pony and I truly don’t think she needs to scam anyone (and, NO, I don’t know her).

It really just sounds like a lot of miscommunication and assumptions with a situation that started out with good intentions.

That being said, PO, I’ll take your pony (I wish!). She looks lovely. I’m sure she’s not hurting for a home. OP, good luck finding a new pony for your kids.

#171

No, this is what happens when you air your dirty laundry for the world to see.

Somewhere in this mess, there is a lesson about personally responsibility and tact. I do hope someone finds it.

#172

[QUOTE=jenm;8099966]
I’m pretty sure it was quite accidental. Until I read the post from Three Wishes I had no idea one could do a user search based on join date and post count and I’ve been a forum member for a few years now. :)[/QUOTE]

Totally agree with you, based on her responses after. I don’t think she truly meant to identify the PO in that particular post. I was a snarky asshat with my assumption. :winkgrin: which is why I should stick with my normal “not posting in messy threads” mindset.

#173

OP, you know, you can block some posters! Some people are just rude in general…don’t worry, and don’t answer them.

OP, you dodged a bullet.

#174

[QUOTE=st_francis;8099967]
I don’t know either one of you, but I can’t imagine going through all that hassle and then walking away over a crappy saddle. Lord knows I’ve spent more money on stupider things just to avoid seeing THAT look on my kid’s face.[/QUOTE]

So next time you buy your kid’s something, give the cashier an extra 100$.

1 Like
#175

I’m wondering why everyone thinks the PO was lying when she said she decided not to let the pony leave because she was worried the OP wasn’t in a position to provide the level of care she wanted for her pony.

All of the posts I’ve read indicate the PO was looking for the best possible home for the pony and was waiting until she met the OP to make final negotiations. The fact that she was very upfront about intending to have control over the pony’s future homes indicates this was not a sale, but a free lease situation. A sale would be relinquishing that control. There have been tons of threads about how useless a “right of first refusal” clause is in a sales contract.

I don’t know either party, but see no reason not to take them at their word. The OP from her posts and the PO from quotes the OP has shared. I’m sorry the OP has had a big disappointment, but if I was the PO and picked up on the fact the OP didn’t think my beloved pony had much real value, I would have started having serious concerns too.

In terms of you asking if the pony, not the tack was worth the price, no. As a full combination deal if I was looking to resell everything, then I would make up the difference but barely and only because the pony would be “free” and it wouldn’t have covered my expenses getting everything ready and going down. But it wasn’t my goal to resell. The pony is in her 20’s and it is showing. She needs a great deal of maintenance and you can see it clearly. She is going to be limited in the amounts of work she will be able to do which I was also okay with, but most wouldn’t be… The costs incurred in preparing everything to go and get her and driving down was worth it to me as it was costs for her and didn’t throw things to far out of balance in regards to her monetary worth, as she was also going to have sentimental worth teaching my children so that made up the difference. In other words, she was worth the money spent getting everything ready to go get her and make the drive because she was being given for free and we would have had her for the rest of her life. If I had to drive any farther, it would not have been worth it for her condition. The additional costs she tossed on at the end in addition to everything spent far out weight the value of the pony.

Perhaps something came out in casual conversation that made the PO wonder if the OP could afford to ensure the pony had quality clothing and equipment. The PO decided to offer the pony’s stuff at a great deal to be sure the pony didn’t go without. We simply don’t know. We do know the PO told the OP she decided to not let her take the pony because she was worried they could not afford to provide the level of care she wanted. I find that very believable. We all have different levels of care we find acceptable. Kudos to her if this was due to having the pony’s best interest as her priority. I am also very impressed that she has not responded to this thread.

OP, I hope you find a great pony for your kids and agree with everyone who suggested staying local.

#176

An expected event didn’t happen. One person shared her feelings.
There doesn’t have to be a bad guy and a good guy.
It’s really okay to say sorry it didn’t work out and go on without needing to judge either party.

#177

I can see both sides of the story. I understand why the OP would be disappointed, and I can understand how the PO would want to reserve final judgment until meeting OP (or anyone to whom you’d give a cherished pony) in person.

My only advice to OP . . . well, actually it is probably too late for that . . . you may have minimized your chances of getting a pony from any other COTHer by airing all this dirty laundry out there.

At this point, what’s done is done. It probably worked out best for everyone involved considering how much drama has surrounded the transaction. Instead of looking back with anger, perhaps it is time to just move on and realize there will be another pony for you and your family.

#178

Unless the OP is leaving out some details, the PO should have been upfront from the beginning that it was not a done deal until they met to make sure the pony was going to be a good fit. The PO also should have been clear that the OP had the option to purchase the tack. Instead she made it a requirement that was not disclosed until the OP jumped through all kinds of hoops to make the trip down. I think it speaks volumes for the OP that she realized the saddle the PO was using was not a good fit for the pony or her children and as such did not wish to purchase it.

There is nothing indicating this was a free lease deal. If it were a free lease, the PO should have stated the obvious which is the pony will still belong to her and as such, cannot be sold. Instead, she wanted to put a clause in the contract saying the new owner cannot sell, which as I stated before is none of the PO’s business once she relinquishes ownership.

As for a ROFR, it is much more enforceable when very detailed as in how much time the original owner has to make the decision to buy back, what the buy back price will be and what the monetary penalty is should it not be honored.

I doubt we will hear the PO’s side of the story unless someone alerts her to this thread. Even so, if she was on the fence about letting the pony leave with the family, she had no business telling the OP’s daughter the “pony was hers” and would be “leaving with them today”.

There is definitely miscommunication on both parts, but to put 100% of the blame on the OP is just wrong.

#179

[QUOTE=tuckawayfarm;8099990]
I’m wondering why everyone thinks the PO was lying when she said she decided not to let the pony leave because she was worried the OP wasn’t in a position to provide the level of care she wanted for her pony.[/QUOTE]

No one said the PO was lying about thinking the OP wasn’t in a position to afford a pony.

(How could someone not be in a position to afford a 20yrs old pony when they already have a horse, have a trailer/pick up, have already paid their stall, agreed to drive 14 hrs to get a pony, offered to buy some of the tack and said the pony would get its own custom well fitted saddle??)

No one said the PO couldn’t change her mind when she first met the OP.

Some said the PO pushed a really shady selling tactic for a supposedly free pony.

No one said the PO couldn’t change her mind when she first met the OP.

All of the posts I’ve read indicate the PO was looking for the best possible home for the pony and was waiting until she met the OP to make final negotiations. The fact that she was very upfront about intending to have control over the pony’s future homes indicates this was not a sale, but a free lease situation. A sale would be relinquishing that control. There have been tons of threads about how useless a “right of first refusal” clause is in a sales contract.

The PO never said it was a free lease. And if it was, why on earth would the OP be obliged to buy the pony’s tack then?

I don’t know either party, but see no reason not to take them at their word. The OP from her posts and the PO from quotes the OP has shared. I’m sorry the OP has had a big disappointment, but if I was the PO and picked up on the fact the OP didn’t think my beloved pony had much real value, I would have started having serious concerns too.

Where did you get that?
If the PO really thought her pony had such value, why not selling it?
How is the pony worth a saddle and some tack? That is ridiculous. Especially since the OP said she would rather buy a well fitted saddle for the pony and her kid…
Can’t the PO just sell her pony stuff separately?
Why the PO never mentioned that ‘‘Buy the tack get a free pony’’ clause is beyond me… They talked/exchange emails for a month!

Perhaps something came out in casual conversation that made the PO wonder if the OP could afford to ensure the pony had quality clothing and equipment. The PO decided to offer the pony’s stuff at a great deal to be sure the pony didn’t go without. We simply don’t know. We do know the PO told the OP she decided to not let her take the pony because she was worried they could not afford to provide the level of care she wanted. I find that very believable. We all have different levels of care we find acceptable. Kudos to her if this was due to having the pony’s best interest as her priority. I am also very impressed that she has not responded to this thread.

I doubt it was such a great deal…since the OP preferred not to buy it.
And really, even for free, when I don’t want something, I don’t want it.

#180

[QUOTE=TBROCKS;8099939]
How do people get this worked up over a situation they have nothing to do with, over people they don’t even know? Good grief.[/QUOTE]

Worked up? Hardly :wink: I’ve enjoyed a fun day of kayaking and piddling around the farm before leaving on a business trip tomorrow. I’ve just been a seller dealing with some cray potential buyers and this one fits the bill. This woman IS a piece of work. She’s made it very plain.

If she didn’t want to be assessed by a gaggle of strangers, the power to avoid that was entirely hers.

and I’m off to pop a top and ride my horse :wink:

Get your Digital Subscription here - only $21.95 / year

Subscribe here
See gift options

Sign up to our monthly newsletter!

By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You may also receive promotional emails from The Chronicle of the Horse. You can opt out at any time.

Copyright © 2023 The Chronicle of the Horse