Work - Life - Showjumping

[Chestnut24]

I am over 40 and trying to hang in there to do small (1 meter) jumper competitions while maintaining a worklife with lots of travel and general stress. When I am riding well, things are great, we get top ribbons etc. Some days in training I am distracted, which my sensitive and still green mare very much picks up on, understandably! This can result in both of us loosing confidence at bigger jumps, last week we had a crash at an oxer.

Since at the moment I can’t change my work situation, might it make sense to look for a more steady-freddy horse, who can pack around 1 meter? Or is this just a fantasy, and I should adjust my riding goals/ cut back on competing? I have a good trainer who can jump the horse once a week. But I wonder if horse-type can also be a factor. Ideally I’d like to do another year or two of competitions before considering slowing it all down.

Thanks a lot!

[Caligirl83]

If you can afford it, you will have a lot more fun on a less green horse. Green horses are super fun, but they demand ALL of one’s attention 24/7 and it is hard for those of us who have busy lives outside the barn. There is no wrong answer here, go with what your gut says.

[fivestrideline]

I agree that a BTDT horse that’s going to be maybe a bit less competitive but give you CONFIDENCE might be better for you right now. I’m in the same boat and while I’m quite good with the sensitive ones, I just don’t have the time or energy to worry about them and produce them.

A big, dopey gelding that’s going to jump and canter away no matter what is so much fun and relaxing to come home to.

[Ponyplusaninch]

There are some good packing 1m horses out there; you might even be able to get a bit of a deal if you’re willing to do some maintenance or tolerate light quirks (I’m talking like ones who need uber special tack or are maybe more particular than others about their warmup routine).

If that’s not an option, how adaptable is your trainer on the day if you know your head isn’t there? One of the things I’ve been endeavoring to get better about doing is speaking up in lessons when I am just fried mentally. What I’ve noticed is that on my higher stress days, it becomes really hard to then put forward the level of concentration and emotional support my horse needs. And then to your point–we have a crappy lesson; it’s hard to bounce back. So when I speak up, we then lower the stakes a bit to make sure everyone is set up for success.

[showy]

Life is short. Sell the mare and buy a steady eddie you can have fun on any day.

[onlyTBmares]

I have a fairly stressful job as well, and I just purchased a schoolmaster who has done the 1.35m. It is insane how much fun I have on this horse. He took me from jumping around at 2’6” to just doing my first show in 20 years and jumping around .95 and 1.0m clear. I can miss at 1.0 and he keeps me safe. He’s coming 16, so we won’t be doing this forever but I believe it has changed my life. There are two other women in my barn with similar life situations who were planning on buying something young and are now shopping for schoolmasters from watching my experience. At this age, I’m realistic about my goals and expectations as it sounds like you are. The #1 most important thing to me is to have fun and be safe. A horse who is comfortable jumping 1.20+ can help you have such a blast at 1.0m. It’s also insane how much my riding and position have improved from riding him. From my experience, 1000% get yourself an older schoolmaster.

[hoopoe]

I sympathize with your mental game issue. I found, as I entered into my middle years, getting my mind on the riding and away from work and everything else was more challenging. When my mind would not click in it was a disaster; and I rode Dressage at the time.

A mind coach may help . Visualization can work with some people. For me is was probably biological and there were simply days it was best to step away. Yay peri-menopause

But it was dressage, not jumping, If you need to, a steadier, less sensitive horse may help bridge the issue. I think jumping lends itself to mental coaching so you might explore that aspect. Good thing about it, you can do it every day, even on the road and you may find it actually a good stress outlet.

[LCDR]

If ribbons are your priority and you don’t have the time to spend working with your mare, then certainly sell her. Please see she lands in a safe space with good horse people to bring her along.

[Chestnut24]

Thanks for these great responses, each one hits home in a different way!

I’m sure at some point it will be enough to take things a little slower, but inching towards fifty, there feels more urgency to get the competitions in. It gives a goal to the training, and is really fun (a great privilege!) to be at a competition barn surrounded by motivated riders/ great horses etc, and be amongst the crew. I think it is not so much the ribbons, but getting around safe / being realistic about my own abilities. But it seems more grey-zone than black/white: knowing when to pass on training / showing could help, but I will also look into some schoolmasters. I guess then you have to be ready to care for a horse whose retirement might be before yours

[mika0116]

Of all people it was my business tax lawyer that gave me this advice. She rides and has friends in their 60s who still ride.

“You do not know for how long you will ride. You only know that you are capable and desire to ride in the present. Horses in all practicality are are luxury sport pets. If you are not having FUN and feeling safe and it occasionally feeling easy as you get older - then indeed what is the ever-loving point?”

Retirement can be a little as a few hundred dollars a month (even in CA, I have peers in their 30s who have retired horses - Modesto, Shasta, etc.). Also, those same peers have retired 7 year old Warmbloods - just because a horse is a Schoolmaster doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be retiring them and just because a horse is young & green doesn’t also mean you won’t retire them.

30-something AA here. Work is what pays all my bills and then some (I will have been to Europe from SoCal 5x in 2023 by end of May & I used to be in i-banking / private equity. I’d have to ride at 6am before butt in chair at 9:30am pre Covid. I rode in pre-dawn light most of the time) - I need to be generally safe while having fun and continuing to challenge my goals. I cannot describe to you the confidence my two former lease mares instilled in me.

I was jet lagged and running on 4 hours of sleep and my most recent motored me around my first .90m course with a solid roll-top. I think she counted the strides and landed every single lead change. I used to be terrified of solid fences over 18". That was 4 years ago and I still miss her…

She had quirks - as a former 1.20+ horse, she required you to be extremely still & balanced, have a very soft hand (rubber snaffle ride), and be okay with a serious motor - you often had to walk - then canter - then trot & sometimes she would leap over a series of trot poles in one fell swoop, but she was my literal seeing eye dog. It felt amazing to know that even when I wasn’t perfect - she was there to pick up some of the slack (occasionally quite a bit) without much more than an aggressive tail flip and a snort.

She was my lease horse when my father died. I think I rode her the day after. I have no idea what happened in that lesson, but I know we jumped around great per old video.

I remember crying behind my sunglasses as I was cooling her out - mostly thankful that she allowed me to feel some happiness even when my mind was a foggy mess.

[sname1234]

@Chestnut24

Another full time professional here and Ammy show jumper, competing much less now that I run my own office. I just want to add a slightly different perspective since I was in a very similar position. I have a difficult but talented jumper, most of my rides are not point-and-shoot easy. But what I have come to realize, whether you get a new one or keep the mare, horses are horses. The most saintly packer will have their off day. Find joy in the small wins and how blessed we are we get to spend time with horses. Our lives are so full of stress, deadlines, and other demands, adding that pressure to your expectations of riding will most certainly only lead to frustration, even on a packer.

As the adage goes “enjoy the ride”

Hope that helps and good luck!

[Chestnut24]

Amazing comments, thank you.

Indeed I know all too well that the health and soundness of the horse-friend can change the game at any time. And the mare counting her own strides, lol. But also the reality check that making big changes doesn’t necessarily bring better results. I guess the intensity of work and riding are related to general ambitiousness, so it is a good point to also watch out for setting up a stage for disappointment (connected to very real limitations of time and physical capacity).
Riding and being with horses is a joy.

I might try out an older horse or two, to see what sort of feeling comes with it (if I can find the time!). Maybe it will confirm the route with my mare, or open some other door.

[findeight]

These are just things to think about as an older rider.

Somehow we get the idea that difficult horses make good riders pounded into us. Unless you can handle the quirky, nervous, unpredictable, inconsistent, difficult to downright untrustworthy, you are not a good rider. Tough horses make the best riders, if you cant ride them, you are a product of bad instruction by lazy trainers on push button horses, bad and/or unsuitable horses make great riders.

NOPE, they don’t. They make defensive riders. At best. For Adult riders over 40, they can and do shatter confidence and instill self doubt. BTDT. Fear of serious injury increases because it hurts more, takes longer to heal and can result in missing work which is no joke. OP here travels for work, no fun in a cast or nursing a shoulder injury.

While you cant dwell too much on the possibility of injury…its in the back of an older Adult mind and grows in importance as you hit your 50s. It takes a special trainer to work with older Adult riders, with most trainers burning out by 40 and so many 20 somethings out there, it can be hard to find the right one. One who really understands and is not just seeing a commission check and regular lesson/pro ride income stream and stands ringside hoping you don’t screw up and fall off. Think about it. They should be making choices that build YOUR confidence, not just support their business. Just think about that. There is an unavoidable conflict of interest in the trainer-client relationship.

You need to be able to sit down and discuss your feelings and doubts with trainer and s/he needs to work with you, not sugar coat your feelings and sign you up for another show you don’t have time to properly prepare physically and mentally for. Telling you you are doing great, horse is too, you’ll be just fine. Again. Not helping any older rider.

Far as the horse here, leave her out of this for a few minutes. Have you ever taken an over fences lesson on a real schoolmaster? One who jumps anything from anywhere? Land and asks “ where to and at what speed” and patiently waits for you to get rebalanced after landing in a heap? How about when you land and find yourself slipping left and the horse steps left to stay under you? Ever ride one that tries to stay under you? They are wonderful, you don’t have to worry if you land slipping left in the tack, they are bolting off to the right, throwing in a buck, or both.

Can you skip some shows and put the money towards some jumping lessons on a kind schoolmaster? Restore your confidence and strengthen you riding. Trainer might sell you some Pro rides but mare will pretty much be the same horse when you ride her. Remember, mare picks up signals from you and is probably losing confidence in you, vicious circle.

Remember, you don’t have anything to prove to anybody by sticking with a horse that was perfect for you. When you were 22. Try looking for a short term lease or, maybe, arrange 4-6 lessons on a KIND Professional Packer. See how you feel after that.

[phoenixrises]

I can’t say YES to this louder. I just found a home for my young very slightly quirky young horse, and my trainer got me a less athletic, slightly less likely to win, btdt 9yo horse and I haven’t smiled this much going to the barn in a LONG time. I just know what each ride is going to be, and my god it’s fun again. I paid my dues in my youth, have the broken bones to show for it. I’m 45 and nope, this is just gonna be fun now and if it isn’t I’m just not going to do it.

[Xctrygirl]

So I am gonna tell my story. Maybe I am rare… maybe I’m not. You al know yourselves, where your limits are and none of us are “wrong” maybe a bit “different” from one another but in all things, there are no wrong ways. Just different paths.

I am an ammy with a fulltime office job. From my screenname you can guess I event. Well I did, for a long time but I was always concurrently doing jumpers. Esp in winter and summers. After my Tb “Gin” (RRP Division winner in 2015) was diagnosed as neurologic in 2017 I was heartily depressed. I knew I can make a tb up to 3’6" but the beyond was hard. I had fears and a 3’9" square oxer turned me to jelly and I started whispering my last rites under my breath and I am not even Catholic!!!

By some luck I had gone to Ireland that late fall to see @Weatherford and since I was going to be in horse mecca, I offered to look at horses for anyone back home looking. So I saw the things, tried some amazing horses and shockingly felt no fears about jumping bigger on mounts foreign to me. I didn’t buy anything but it started me looking…abroad…for a made horse. And through it I found my second heart horse. I stuck with what I knew, didn’t use a trainer or agent and found my guy on Facebook in a UK sales group. He wasn’t an ad… it was one picture listed as a reply (with no text) in someone else’s ISO ad. I hunted his poor owner down over ALL of the internet trying to find her and get info on him. It took 3 months with her vacations, time lines, sharing of info, having a friend go ride him, vetting, pre flight blood work, papers etc… but by February 10th of 2018 he was standing here and I was holding his shank completely unaware of what I had just done for my show jumping career and my life as a whole.

So… 5 years later here’s what I can tell you. BUY/LEASE the made horse. Let your dreams be chased with vigor and never question the things that make you happy.

I’ve made money. I’ve won ribbons/classes that I never dreamed of being brave enough to enter. I have gotten proof I am a good rider, and sure we’ve had bad days too, but way more great days. And we’ve done the retooling of our ride and come out stronger and better and seen things, competed places I never had on my radar and if he has to retire today, it will all have been worth every moment, dollar, cent, tear etc.

We’ve competed and placed up to 1.35m (4’5" for the non-metric inclined) I’ve won and had a (small) victory lap in the Rolex Stadium at the Ky Horse Park. I have competed against Mclain, Rodrigo and a host of other huge names. I just cannot even encapsulate what “Cudo” has added to my life.

I was 46 when I bought him. I will be 52 this year. He was coming 11 when he arrived and just turned 16. It just was honestly the 2nd best decision of my life. (behind my hubby ) And we’ll head to more shows this year. Just not yet, life has been a bit crazy outside of the ponies so we’re a bit behind but he doesn’t care and neither do I.

But I would heartily suggest getting something that you can go and do things with.

Playlist of our videos here: (Good and bad days included)

Em

[Inimitable]

^^This! Buy the made horse if you can. It will give you experiences you never thought possible.

I spent my junior career on ‘average’ horses doing the junior hunters and equitation. We were competitive enough, but my horses were always a little green or quirky - only the winner on our very best days. My last year, my parents wanted to sell my horse so that they weren’t stuck with the bills when I went away to college. He sold quickly and I was left without a horse to show in my last year.

I ended up leasing a jumper who was stepping down from the GP. This horse was legit - a very big name rider’s former World Cup horse. I don’t know how I got so lucky. I had never set foot in the jumper ring before and by our third or fourth show we were WINNING in the high juniors. It was surreal and an absolutely pivotal experience in my horse life.

I took a lonnnng break from horses after that and eventually found my way back to it about 6 years ago. I’m now a 40+ ammy and back to riding green-as-grass OTTBs. By choice - it’s in my DNA. But I wouldn’t trade my experience on that made jumper for ANYTHING. He did more for me and my riding in half a season of showing than I ever could have imagined.

If you really see yourself stepping back from it all in a couple of years, give yourself the ultimate gift and go out on a high note. You will not regret it for a second.

[MHM]

I just watched the first video, but your horse looks like he is a blast to ride! Businesslike in the best possible way.

[Xctrygirl]

Here’s the win at 1.30 in KY.

It was a speed class. We left out a stride in 2 lines. On purpose and that’s why we get along.

Video of EL CUADOR ridden by EMILY DAIGNAULT-SALVAGGIO from ShowNet!

Em

[PNWjumper]

Absolutely go for the made horse. When you (collective ‘you’, not specifically YOU) describe your horse as quirky and difficult it means you’re struggling with something that is typically not that much fun. I have one quirky and difficult horse. If I didn’t several easy/fun horses at the same time, I’m not sure I would gamble my bravery and trust on the one horse.

I have a page that addresses the same idea on my website: https://www.flyingfsporthorses.com/got-brains/

I think a green/young horse is fine for an amateur or junior or anyone IF they’re also a super easy horse. But if the quirkiness is another issue. If you don’t have to make trade-offs…don’t

[RAyers]

@Chestnut24 I’m only going to focus on one statement.

Slowing it all down?! Dear lord! You are a pup in the riding world.

I can understand slowing down if you have other goals and priorities in life (family, career,…), but hell, 40 is nothing if you want to continue to grow and develop as a horseman/rider you wish to be.

I am almost 60 and have been bringing up a OTTB, I got off the track when he was 2 1/2. He is just on the cusp of upper level eventing.

You are only limited by your own mind as to what you want to do. I built a career from scratch at 51 while bringing up the green horse. And I’m no more special than anybody else.

So, as you ride other horses, remind yourself, there are no limits at your age so long as you have the drive and want to do the work.

If I can do it, you can too (if that is what you want).

IMG_2366