No no no, @Cat_Tap. Stop beating yourself up. You did everything fair for this dog. But, part of even the end of this relationship had to be fair to you as well as him. Being fearful your pet would hurt you wasn’t and neither was having to watch him go. I had to watch my first heart horse die and I relive it WAY too much. Like @SummerRose said, I am so sorry you had to witness his reaction and that someone else didn’t shield you more, but I doubt he would have even known “his person” was there or not. I know my horse didn’t know me and that was/is so painful. I chose not to be there (with my trainer’s and vet’s blessing) when I put the next one down and haven’t regretted it because I can remember my horse for who he was in life, not death. Sending you so many more hugs and prayers peace finds you soon.
You made a heroic decision @Cat_Tap. Those are often the most painful. That’s why some people will avoid an issue like this with their animal. And then something truly awful happens and it’s out of their hands.
Think of it this way. Your dog had the most wonderful life on a big property with animal friends and his person who doted on him in the best of ways.
You sent him over the bridge as a loving companion who unfortunately was becoming no longer fit nor safe for this world. Instead of waiting for the worst and having him leave as a bad dog.
Heartbroken for you right now. Making the right choice can still hurt so much.
I can’t like this post because it is not true @Cat_Tap. You did not fail him, you made the ultimate decision in everyone’s best interest.
I was a vet tech who has attended many euthanasias, and am also the friend you call when you can’t be there. I can tell you that not every euthanasia is perfect and quiet and peaceful, no matter what the species.
Sadly, there are some things we just cannot fix as humans in this world. When we encounter them, we make the best decisions we can and do what needs to be done. This is what you just experienced.
Know that in the end, you did right by him. You did right by you! No one can ask anything more of you!
I would have done the same as you…no questions asked. I am so sorry. Do not second guess your decision. It was the right one. It doesn’t make it hurt any less but was the right thing to do. Not every euthanasia is smooth. I wish it was. I have had one fight the sedation and it is traumatic. Be sure to get some help through this…talk to us at least.
{{{{ Cat_Tap}}}}
This, this and this!!!
I know the decision to euthanize was correct, it is the guilt of not staying with him to the end that is tearing me up. I haven’t been able to stop crying. Watching him struggle trying to get up was unbearable. My trainer tried to help me after stating that she stroked him and assured him he was loved. He knew her well and liked her.
No matter how difficult, it should have been me that was there for him in the end.
I think maybe that it would have been worse for him to have had you there with him but so upset. As you said, he knew y’all’s trainer well and trusted her and she was able to calmly comfort him.
I think that having someone calm with him was best.
You have been so brave and loving for him.
I’m sending hugs and jingles for you. Be brave and loving for yourself.
this ^^^ (very well said)
Also sending you hugs and jingles
I am pulling myself together. Came on to the CE forum to take my mind off “poor me”. Unfortunately the political threads are not uplifting.
A friend just called. She is part of the :Pet Bereavement group. She offered to bring some Kaluha but unfortunately I can’t drink alcohol with me chemo. She will bring buttertarts instead.
I am going to take out the garbage, tidy my house and clean myself up to be presentable. I will pull myself together and spent some pleasant time chatting.
Again I want to say how helpful people on this board have been for me. As I have stated before I live alone with no close neighbors.
I haven’t commented, but I have followed along from your original post. Please don’t beat yourself up about this. You made a really difficult decision, but it was the right decision. It would not have changed anything if you had been there with the dog. Allow yourself to grieve your loss. I hope that you will find a dog that will be your partner and make you (both) happy and content. Jingles.
Sounds like a great friend and a great plan. One step at a time. This too shall pass. (((HUGS)))
The totality of your life together is what counts, not the last one hour. Peace…
Please don’t feel bad. My vet told me that she often sees a lot of distress in pets whose owners are really upset during the euth process. They assume something really bad is happening.
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Don’t beat yourself up.
I absolutely hate the pressure that people put on owners to be there for a euthanasia, whether it is a large or small animal.
There is nothing that I can see about an owner who is overcome emotionally with the situation that is comforting to an animal.
I see nothing wrong with saying your goodbyes and exiting the immediate vicinity, and I wish people would stop guilt-tripping others over it.
Dear Cat_Tap,
I just stumbled upon this thread, and I am so sorry for what you’ve been through. Please, please know that you did the right thing, both in deciding to euthanize the poor dog, and for deciding to leave the room.
Both were very hard, very correct decisions.
I think sometimes too much has been made of the need to stay with the animal until the end. Yes, I think in some cases it’s comforting, but it sounds like your poor Bouvier was more upset with you in the room, probably because there were strangers that he felt he needed to protect you from.
I am glad you have the support of the trainer and the friend with the buttertarts.
Saying good bye to a beloved animal is never easy, your circumstances made it even harder.
Give yourself a little grace and forgiveness and know you did right by the dog.
Excellent point.
Please be kind to yourself, EVERYTHING you went through with this was a major emotional trauma . You did what was best for him and for you. And choosing not to be in the room doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a human in a very horrible situation. You chose to make an extremely difficult decision for the good of everyone involved and that’s what you should be focusing on.
I tried to address this issue in my post, but ended up deleting it
Thank you, @Ghazzu, for doing so for directly and eloquently. Dogs, horses and cats are so attuned to us emotionally that sometimes having the distraught person there is NOT the best thing.
