It’s significant neither the breeder nor the trainer stepped up to take the dog. If either had thought this was primarily handler error, they would likely have taken a chance with such a quality dog in every other way. Clearly both breeder and trainer thought this was a dog with a significant screw loose.
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This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.
Anonymare for future consideration your posts are not helpful they are actually upsetting. I am not sure what you are trying to accomplish other than being a troll and stirring the pot
I was able to read all your posts though deleted.
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Seriously just STOP. The trainer and breeder agreed. You remind me of those misguided people who rehome an animal with known dangerous history to SOMEONE ELSE… and then stands back when said animal self destructs.
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We absolutely do know all about her communication with the breeder and trainer. It’s all in the thread. The OP herself has told you that you’re being hurtful, not helpful.
Please just stop.
Or for goodness sake, please just read the whole thread, carefully and for comprehension, before posting again and embarassing yourself further.
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Both the vet and trainer knew my dog well and were relieved when I made the decision. It was just so much harder than I expected.
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@Cat_Tap - I’m so sorry it didn’t go as planned. There may not be anything in the world more upsetting.
Just know that you DID do the right thing for yourself and the dog [edit]. In time, it will be easier to think about the good rather than those final minutes.
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@Cat_Tap I don’t post often on these boards any more, so I am sure you don’t “know” me, but I am chiming in to say that I have loved all your posts over the years. You sound like such a lovely and kind person, and my heart goes out to you.
I have 2 things for your current situation, and that is, one, that I am usually someone who doesn’t encourage euthanasia with many posters here. But in your case, I 100% think you made the right decision. 100%.
Second, even though you know you made the right choice, it’s pretty common to beat yourself up over something you think you should have done differently. And to that I say, cut yourself some slack! Things could have been worse if you were there, and then you’d be beating yourself up over that. You did the best you could, given the circumstances. And that is all anyone can do! You did your best. Hugs to you.
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This speaks volumes and reinforces the fact that you did the right thing. [Edit]
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@Anonymare, this might not be the board for you. If this is how you respond to a person who made the best decision she could for the circumstances, and came here for support, you definitely do not belong here.
This is a group of strong, tough women (and the occasional man too!), and we do not shirk our responsibilities as owners.
We also don’t like when one of our own is bullied, like you are attempting to do here. You can accuse us of whatever you attempted to accuse us of, but know this- people here take euthanasia very seriously, and we understand how heartbreaking that decision is.
I feel very sorry for your animals if you think it is their job to live forever for your edification.
Sometimes, the responsibility of ownership is a humane death. If you fail to see that, I can guarantee you that you have a lot more hard learning to do in life, and you are not going to like it.
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That you so much for this very thoughtful post. I think every owner should be able to make the choice that is right for them. My biggest wish for pet owners in situations like is they are given the support needed so that they can focus on the happy memories and not the sad ending . I know people who just couldn’t be there for their animals last moments and I knew people who could . They should be supported either way.
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I’m so very sorry for everything you’re dealing with, and having had to make this tough decision was an unneeded kick in the pants. I hope you are feeling some relief by now.
There is no contract we sign upon entry into our lives that says our existence has to have a purpose. Have you made people smile? Have you been kind to others from time to time? Have you done favors for friends? Have you done the very best you know how for your animals? I’m quite sure you can answer “yes” to these questions. Therefore, your existence is 100% justified.
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@Cat_Tap Nothing I can say that others haven’t, but support. The guilt will be there, I still feel guilty about a 35 year old, not surgical candidate, horse with colic. I shortened his life with euthanasia by only a few hours (he was in shock and there was a twist) and I still feel guilty. That is okay, that is expected. You don’t need to feel bad about feeling guilty! Does that make sense? I hope so. In any case, I’d give you a hug, or a piece of pie, or something if I could.
And the troll needs to go to h–l.
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[Edit]
@Cat_Tap - you did the right thing. This pup was heading to an episode that could have had tragic consequences for all involved… but you were a responsible, loving owner and did what was best.
Do not beat yourself up for not being there at the end… not all of us can do that and it may be more stressful for the dog/cat/horse if we are upset as well.
This is one niche I have found where I can help others… I have helped many friends (and their friends) with euthanasias - they say their goodbyes and then I am there with that pet. Either at home or at the vet clinic. Quiet, gentle and reassuring - even if it is a tough euthanasia as does happen. And the owners are able to remember that pet as they were in happier times - and yet still have someone there for them at the end who that pet knew.
I wish I could give you a big hug now that my hackles have flattened out (sort of) - the mere mention of butter tarts made me sigh - you must be in Canada? Oh how I wish for a nice butter tart right now…
You are strong. We are all (minus one) here for you. 
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For some reason I find the need to clarify a few things. Though at the moment I come across as the poor lonely old soul (which is actually how I feel right now) I have led a very rich full life and accomplished much. I don’t have any close relatives but I do have wonderful friends. The strong, proud individual I once was will not allow to unload on friends so I come here and am most grateful for this opportunity.
My cancer was surgically removed and my chemo, a daily pill is a drug targeted for my specific cancer to prevent it from recurring. I have another 15 months of it. Though there are side effects I have learned to manage them.
Once I pass this hurdle I will go forward with a positive attitude, continue with my strict physical program with the hope of once again finding purpose and contentment.
Thank you all for your helpful responses.
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Dear Cat_Tap I am so very sorry you had to make the hard decision and that it’s caused you such pain. I’m glad you have your friends and other animals to help you through this.
Everyone has said much better than me, I can only send you cyber hugs.
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I am so glad that people on this forum could give you some of the support you needed . I have a feeling when the time is right another animal will come into your life that will truly appreciate and love you and who you will love back. Thank you for sharing your story and giving us a chance to support you. Hugs to you.
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Dearest Cat_Tap,
I want to share a story with you in the hopes that it is comforting.
One of the few people I know who is as devoted to their pets, as conscientious an owner and just plan nuts about her animals as I am is my BFF.
She has a particular fondness for boxers. She lost one of the best boxers ever a little too early and was grieving, and in a weak moment, applied at a boxer rescue.
She adopted what was presented as a bonded pair (they weren’t) of “boxer mixes”, that is, pit mixes. 
The female was sweet and easy going; the male was hard headed. She had a fenced back yard with a six foot fence, wire with a solid board on top. The male kept getting out. She reinforced the fence. He still got out. She added electric to the fence. He still got out. At this point, she’s exhausted her financial resources, and has resorted to either walking him on a leash, or always supervising him while in the fenced back yard.
One day, she went back into the house to get something, and in literally seconds, the dog climbed the fence, got out, and attacked the neighbor’s dog, being walked on a leash by the neighbor. Who was a good friend and who looked out for the BFF.
The neighbor’s dog was injured and had to be taken to the vet for stitches.
BFF took her dog home, called the vet, fed the male dog treats, put him in car and took him to be put down, sobbing and petting him the entire time. She didn’t call me, she didn’t ask for help, she didn’t tell me until after it was done. She knew she was the dog’s last chance and no one would take him or rehab him. She knew absolutely what she had to do when he attacked the elderly neighbor’s leashed, non-aggressive dog, and she had to do it while she had the emotional strength to do so.
I still can’t believe she did it. I mean, you’ve never met anyone as goony about their dogs as my BFF. But she’s also a responsible owner and a responsible adult.
She knew that the right thing to do was also the hardest thing to do; and she did it anyway. Just like you.
Wishing you peace and comfort.
XOXOXO
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