Woul you consider euthanasia?

[2DogsFarm]

@Cat_Tap

the guilt of not staying with him to the end that is tearing me up.

The 1st horse I had to euth was at a vet college hospital. He’d been my DH’s, who’d preceded him in death a year before.
I stayed with him, held his head after he was sedated & the vet techs eased him down. Told him to go, join Tom & be free.
I’ll always feel that was the right thing to do.

But the next horse I had to euth at the same vet college was different.
I’d fully intended staying with him, he’d been a sweet, affectionate horse for the short 5yrs I’d had him.
But the attending vet had an emergency & left me waiting.
After some time, horse gave me the distinct mental impression that I wasn’t needed to stay.
So I left & don’t regret that decision either.

Give yourself time to grieve.
Come here when you need to.

[cutter99]

@Cat_Tap, it is okay that you didn’t stay until the end. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

He had your trainer, the vet and tech there with him. I can tell you from experience, both personally and from being a vet tech, he was in excellent hands. Vets honor this passing with the greatest of kindness and empathy. Vet techs are some of the most caring people you will ever meet. When my last 2 dogs passed, those kind vet techs helped scoop me up off the floor while crying with me.

The most important thing is you honored his life while he was here, and did everything you could. You made the hardest of hard decisions, even though it is causing you pain. You did what all owners should be courageous enough to do.

Give yourself some time to breathe. Be kind to yourself. Grant yourself the grace you deserve. Remember that we are here to support you!

[Jenerationx]

I’m so sorry you had to go through this @Cat_Tap! You absolutely did the right thing.

[HPFarmette]

I am glad you have followed through as you did, and very sorry for your emotional pain. Some things are so hard to get over, but we get through anyway and somehow carry on. You are supported by a large group of COTHers with immense experience and knowledge. You did the right thing and you did not fail.

[MorganSercu]

I am so sorry Cat. He could have killed you, or someone’s pet, or badly hurt anyone at all and was clearly headed in that direction. The breeder, trainer and veterinarian agreed with you and I know that didn’t make the decision any easier or lessen your sorrow. You did the right thing and protected the community at large INCLUDING fans of the Bouvier breed. No one needs yet another dog breed listed as dangerous.

I hope your treatment is going well and you have good years ahead of you.

[Bearx2]

Another excellent post @cutter99. I truly appreciate your perspective on this thread . I think we are all learning from you .

[thatmoody]

Right, the whole “staying till the end” is more something we do for ourselves. Animals don’t necessarily feel the things we ascribe to them and I really agree that you’re reading his actions correctly, McGurk.

[Djones]

I was completely understanding when my own spouse couldn’t cope with being beside our wonderful old English Setter when our horse vet kindly put him down for us here at home. I held Soap dog and loved on him and it was time. I cannot fathom judging someone who recognizes their own need for distance. We are all different, and that’s ok.

@Cat_Tap I hope you have gotten a good night’s rest, the fear and burden is behind you.

[Cat_Tap]

I stayed with all of my dogs and I have had many. Fortunately most of them were euthanized at home on the farm, only one in the clinic. Most of them were old and in heartfailure, last dog only 2 years ago had bone marrow cancer, he died in my arms at the clinic, I was calm and quiet.

With Colton it was so unexpected.

[SimonSays]

I think you made a mature, responsible decision that guaranteed no one would get hurt- including the dog, yourself and any future people to interact with him.

You reached out to the breeder.

You had a regular trainer who was frequently helping you.

You’re not a first time pet owner.

He acted out not only towards you more than once, but also at the vet’s office where they didn’t want to work with him anymore. And vet’s office deal with numerous dogs and can manage a lot of things with muzzles or sedation, etc. So it really speaks to how dangerous they felt he was if they did not wish to continue with him.

Sending good vibes your way- I hope you take comfort in knowing he’ll never have a bad day again and that you exhausted a number of reasonable options before you made this tough decision.

There will always be know-it-alls and I can do-betterer’s out there that disagree or act like you should go bankrupt or put yourself in harms way (or other people in harms way) over an animal. Ultimately animals live for today and too often we put human emotions on their situations.

[steelerino]

I am not really sure what you saw but I can chime in as being a FACA certified euthanasia technician whose has done thousands of animals at my open intake shelter…a lot of the struggling or fighting you see can be involuntary and the animal is not aware of what is going on but upsetting to the owner. Some animals also “fight” the pre-sedation but are also not totally aware.

[Maythehorsebewithme]

I’m not a dog person, but I totally understand what you did. Just want to offer my deepest condolences. You did the right thing for yourself, for the people around the dog, and for the dog himself.

[Bearx2]

@Cat_Tap

I stayed with all of my dogs and I have had many. Fortunately most of them were euthanized at home on the farm, only one in the clinic. Most of them were old and in heartfailure, last dog only 2 years ago had bone marrow cancer, he died in my arms at the clinic, I was calm and quiet.

With Colton it was so unexpected.

I think it might be helpful for you to remember that this situation was not like any of the ones you had gone through before. Euthanizing an old or sick dog is hard, but in an odd way it is easy to justify, Both your emotional side and your thinking side agree. Colton was harder because while your brain knew it was the right thing to do your heart was looking for a way to make this work. If I could give you a hug in person and listen to good stories about Colton I would,. I think you are having such a hard time with this right now because you truly cared about your dog.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

So Anonymare’s hurtful and spiteful comments get to remain. And those of us who called them out get censured?

[Moderator_1]

@Cat_Tap You’ve done an astounding job responding to some insensitive posts with composure. We removed much of the debate with/by this individual to keep the thread focused on the overwhelming support you’ve received.

My apologies for not seeing this thread sooner over the weekend. Sincere wishes for your physical recovery and mental peace with the continued support of the community members who understand the difficulty of making a decision like the one you faced.

[smoofox]

@Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom

So Anonymare’s hurtful and spiteful comments get to remain. And those of us who called them out get censured?

Apparently so.
Many nasty comments remain - but my reply to @Anonymare was edited.

[Bearx2]

As much as it stinks that her comments ( I refuse to say her name ) get to stay let’s not derail this thread with asking why . Moderator 1 is right overall this has been a very good and helpful thread. I think the best thing we can do now is to work hard to keep it that way .

[reefy]

You just faced one of the worst things one can go through when your love of animals is often more than your love for humans You did it with grace and strength. Don’t you dare beat yourself up over this. You did beautifully and now it’s time to process and heal.

[cutter99]

Thank you @Moderator_1! We appreciate all that you do!

[cayuse]

Yes. Mine was censored. If coth supports bullies, I’m out.