Would it be a really bad idea to take this TB mare?

[2DogsFarm]

@Reeses

But understand that in all the time I have been with her, nothing bad has happened.

WhutTheWhut?!!?
Maybe not to you, but the kid getting bucked off, the Attack of the Killer Paint…
Are you waiting until YOU get hurt?
And if so, WHY?

Pls PM @Tha_Ridge & get yourself to a better, safer, Saner place to ride.

Don’t make me break out the Cardbordeaux!

[Reeses]

Oh, believe me, I have seen the light! I am definitely not going back, although I do have my expensive air vest at her barn so I do have to go back there to get that. Going to extract myself emotionally from this TB mare. I’ve been looking online at other OTTBs and I do see that there’s so many others that exist!

[2DogsFarm]

Good Luck in your search.
Both for a better place to learn & for a horse that will make you

& Do report back here when you find either

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

Didn’t you say you’d fallen off of her Percheron?

[Scribbler]

@Reeses

Oh, believe me, I have seen the light! I am definitely not going back, although I do have my expensive air vest at her barn so I do have to go back there to get that. Going to extract myself emotionally from this TB mare. I’ve been looking online at other OTTBs and I do see that there’s so many others that exist!

If other people are getting hurt that’s a huge red flag. It’s not if you get hurt, it’s when. Just like if you’ve got your horse at a barn where other horses are getting loose, getting hurt, eating poisonous weeds. Eventually your horse will get hurt too.

I can’t believe you are still at that barn. I thought you’d skipped around to another low budget barn.

[Jenerationx]

@Reeses

I can totally see how it would seem crazy for me to keep going back, as you said. But understand that in all the time I have been with her, nothing bad has happened.

YET. Nothing bad has happened YET. If you’re going to be around horses, you ARE going to get hurt. It may be your fault, it may be a trainer’s fault, heck it might even be a horse that decides it’s having a bad day and it wants to launch you. Everyone I have ever known that has ridden for any length of time has had an injury either on or off a horse. It’s the nature of their size and things can go bad quick.

So far you have been lucky, but with that many red flags with this trainer…you’re at a much higher risk than in a quality program. Every one of us takes a risk being around horses, and riding horses, but your current situation sounds like horse related injury roulette to me.

[findeight]

On another front…your riding will never advance off the beginner level if you take off every winter. No sport allows you to skip that much practice and improve much. Take the horses out of it, you must do it to get any better in any sport. You must develop skill, balance, reaction plus muscle strength and memory.

Unlike most other sports, lack of the above when horses are added will really get you hurt. You can stay on the bunny hill or stay low and slow and still fall. But equipment needed for those sports does not get moody, scared or have a bad day and remove you, often into solid objects.

Think about it.

[hoopoe]

To advance well without a solid foundation is difficult. That means a good instructor and access to experienced, correctly trained horse to learn on. You gather your tools then take on the project of a young horse.

loose the idea of economy and rescue; that you are going to be the savior of a horse or find a champions as a green OTT.

Now is not the time to be shopping for a OTT. Now is the time to find an instructor who can show you all you need to know and can work with you to match you to a nice, safe horse from which you can learn so much.

Even nice, safe horses need a loving and devoted home and partner. Be that person

Take the words of many here who have been there, done that and wasted a lot of time money tears and effort on futile or less that optimum outcomes

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

I clicked the other thread. Was this the same barn where the instructor wanted you to buy a 4 year old paint but still be allowed to offer lessons to other students?

[danhelm441]

@Moon_River

Can anyone remember who the fairly recent poster was with the warmblood horse she’d been missold and the issues she was having with him? I think those threads would be a good thing to read for the OP here as to what can go wrong and how you can be in over your head and really not having fun with the new horse you love and want to do right by, but is beyond your skillset. Not everyone who takes on a horse that’s not suitable on paper ends up a trainwreck, but why increase the chances of it happening?

Yes, I think you mean me. OP sounds like me, poor thing. She should find a nice, reputable barn with an active lesson program and a cozy indoor, and lease!

[danhelm441]

A green horse, for someone on the low end of experience and confidence, is a terrible idea. You (the primary rider and owner) need the skill, confidence and timing to work through situations in which the horse has limited skill or confidence, whatever that might be. You don’t know ahead of time when those situations might arise, or what they might be.

Another factor here is that you won’t manage to train anything at all if you are second-guessing yourself and changing how you ask. Being wrong but consistently wrong is better than being inconsistent. It’s really hard to understand that as a green rider, when you tend to blame yourself and try to change tack if the horse isn’t immediately responding the way you want. You can truly make a horse dangerous that way, just by confusing the heck out of it, while you wring your hands and try yet a new way to ask the same question.

[Reeses]

had a lesson this weekend at a new barn, awesome instructor, with an INDOOR ring, and on a 22 year old Warmblood ex GP jumper. WOW WOW WOW! It was 30 degrees out and I can ride and was warm. Horse was forward in a good way and responsive to my aids. I also learned about some bad habits I’ve been practicing and how to correct them. Instructor was kind and patient. Not a single red flag anywhere! Seriously I had a blast and can’t wait to go back. Only downside is no lessons on weeknights (would have to end the workday 30 min early to get there), weekends only so I can only lesson once a week at most.

[2DogsFarm]

Or…
Can you flextime at all from work?
Come in early so you can fit in a weekday lesson?

I used to work a shift once a month for a week, 10A-7P, giving me time to get to the barn & ride before heading to the office.
Usually just a trail ride as it was early - I’d get there by 8A.
Barn had a shower I could use & luckily office was in the same general area - maybe a 20min drive from the barn.

[findeight]

Even if its only once a week, it’s SOOOOOO much better for you and your riding.

Baby steps here, progress is progress, don’t get discouraged if its not perfect. You are headed in the right direction.

[Reeses]

@2DogsFarm I may be able to swing flextime, can start work at 7:30am and then block my calendar at 4:30. Yet people will still put 4:30 meetings on my calendar, that’s the challenge!

@findeight I can see already that this will be better in so many ways. As you said it’s hard to progress with taking the winter off so that alone is a plus.

I have not said anything to previous trainer. She has my air vest so unfortunately I will need to pick that up. It will look odd if I drive 30 min just to get my vest vs getting it at my next lesson so not sure how I’m going to handle that one.

[findeight]

Does she live at the barn? Is it locked when shes not there?

You have not done a thing wrong and you don’t want your air vest sitting in some tackroom all winter when that barn is closed. Go get your vest. Big girl panties time. Take a friend or relative with you.

You are getting your property from a service provider who does not provide the service in winter…whats she going to do? You should not feel you are sneaking out of a cult here. Don’t ever let anybody else make you feel that way, you owe her nothing if your bills are paid.

Don’t give her any ammunition to trash talk you, be civil, don’t let any discussion get off track. DO NOT let her try to guilt you. Maybe she won’t even be there.

Oh…don’t trash talk her either, new trainers already know who and what she is, other clients don’t need to know anything other then it didn’t suit your needs, closed in winter is enough. Horse world is small and reputation is everything. Don’t get a reputation as a gossip, it’ll bite you down the road.

Always found the best answer when asked about a previous barn with problems is “ yes I was there for awhile, Wouldn’t be my first choice”. Leave it at that.

Let us know how it goes.

[floppyammy]

@Reeses

@2DogsFarm I may be able to swing flextime, can start work at 7:30am and then block my calendar at 4:30. Yet people will still put 4:30 meetings on my calendar, that’s the challenge!

@findeight I can see already that this will be better in so many ways. As you said it’s hard to progress with taking the winter off so that alone is a plus.

I have not said anything to previous trainer. She has my air vest so unfortunately I will need to pick that up. It will look odd if I drive 30 min just to get my vest vs getting it at my next lesson so not sure how I’m going to handle that one.

Say that you are taking a break from riding for the winter and you came to pick up your airvest. A little white lie is not always a bad thing.

[hoopoe]

@Reeses. If you are ever confused about info and input you get here, I would put my faith in what findeight says. She has a huge lifetime of diverse, real life experiences .

[findeight]

many of which I look back on and wonder how I could have been so flat out stupid to keep trusting the wrong people so long or thinking whoever or whatever was wonky would get better.

[2DogsFarm]

That’s called Being Human.
& Living a Life.
& we have all suffered from various forms at different times