Then you should write “LMOHHO”, Dalliance, with the extra “O” standing for old, ornery or even obsolete… 
LHU you’re flipping on fire today. 
Speaking of heat or lack thereof, did I mention how freaking cold it is here today??? Definitely orange toque weather. 
What the Fruitbat came along when one lady was going on and on and on… ETC about how rude someone had been ot her, and though she repeatedly used WTF in her rant, she spent much of the rant complaining that this woman kept swearing at her, and she would NEVER swear because she doesn’t use that kind of language.
To which, inevitably, someone asked ‘Well what do YOU think ‘WTF’ means then?’
And WingedPanda made that immortal response…
Well, all newbies and previously disinterested persons:
I was so sad that “Question for Merry” might be lost forever that I went over to the Favorites Forum to look for it. I still don’t have a clue if it is there or not because I came across the INFAMOUS Seinfeld Thread About Nothing At All.
Warning: Do not read it at work. And do not read it with a mouth full of anything. 
. But, for all those looking for the secret, er, handshake, here it is. (At least, I think it is all there – Perhaps Erin had the good taste 
to redact certain portions before moving it to the archives.)
I was sitting on The Porch (1) with George Morris discussing whether it was worse to chip and peck or nump (2) and toled (3) to the stinking flounder (4) jump at Spruce Meadows. Suddenly, George started to swipe at his head in an aghasted (5) and attackative (6) way, shrieking in that revoled (7) way of his, “get Aunt Esther’s purse (8), the fruitbats (9) have escaped from their hoochie bucket (10)!” I grabbed the nearest hoo hoo (11), thinking, ‘le tit be (12)’ a false alarm because George was quite allergic to fruitbats and left untreated often escalated into a full blown Inverness Problem (14), a potentially fatal gnome which was harder to cure than a beaver drilling (15) through peeps (15). I said a little pray, 'dear oh mein gott in himmel (16), I know they spank monkeys (17) in Virginia (18) with wedding tackles (19), but please, if you take the fruitbats away, I promise to never, ever, eat another baby (20).
Ha!
Of course, I see that dancing lawn beat me to this on page one…
Good god. I think I just went blind.
Reed
Can we “Newbies” get a list of all these and what they mean? Will someone step up to the plate??
Oh, DUH! Call me SLOW! Go ahead, I deserve it.
If your hoo-hoo is pointed to the sky then you are sitting deep enough… 
Ah, but Quinn - don’t forget, many of us have those large rubber stock tank-style water buckets that sit on the ground. The lip is just about Heidi-hoohoo-height.
I haven’t read every post, but where did the word “Jingles” come from? Just wondering. Then maybe I’ll try to figure out the other lingo…then again, maybe not! 
Ok, no, daring someone to name their horse Where’s the Fruitbat is no good. The reason being is because I don’t think the jumper, eventing or racing people would even blink at a name like that. Heck, I have a boarder at my barn who is an eventer, whose retiree’s name is SNORT! <snort> (I like that name for that horse, BTW) No, the dare needs to be directed specifically at dressage and hunter riders. Now THAT would be hilarious! I can see them scoffing now.
<span class=“ev_code_RED”>DISCLAIMER:</span> No offense is meant to anyone who does dressage or hunters. I did hunters and am now doing dressage. C’mon, admit it, they would be aghasted!
Caren!!! ! Lovey Mae is just aghasted that you have forgotten her name. She thinks you just might have to become even more familiar with Aunt Ester’s purse than you already are! OMGiH!
I’m sorry that Dillan has become so attackative towards you. You would think that he would be less of a beaver since he is hoo-less…perhaps he is not getting enough baby carrots?
Lovey Mae has been loffly lately, and I hope it stays that way for awhile. Spring is coming though, and you know that is the time that hoo hoo mares become ho hoo mares. Numping and finging thoughts just start running rampant through their heads. Lovey starts comparing her life of being a dressage horse to that of the broodmares eating alfalfa hay and thinks that this it be wrong!
Caitlin
PS- My mom is loffly too.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Vandy:
Ah, but Quinn - don’t forget, many of us have those large rubber stock tank-style water buckets that sit on the ground. The lip is just about Heidi-hoohoo-height. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
We have now a new unit of measurement. The rest of the world can use feet and meters. COTH can now measure things in units of “Heidi-hoo-hoo height”. One unit of this height shall be deemed equal to two feet.
That means that an open working hunter jumps a course of jumps that is 2 Heidi-hoo-hoo’s high.
J4J, it was perfect.
As for the fruitbat, dude, those cheeks!
I don’t have the links to all of 'em either, most of them I just winged with an example. But “dranken” came from some grammar/spelling challenged individual who used to post on Horse Care occasionally. No names, please! And Hoochie Bucket first arrived in Willem’s instructions for Le Duc. And Willem never said “OMGiH” until Dorina said it first (he was originally of the “oh mein Gott” persuasion).
Aggie thought it was all those <span class=“ev_code_RED”>HO-HO’S</span> 
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by monstrpony:
I used to tell riding instructors to say “inside” and “outside” instead of “right” and “left”. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Used to? I still tell my trainer and clinicians I ride with to say inside/outside rather than left/right. I do know my left from my right, but in that split second (or a few seconds on a bad day) that it takes me to think about it, I lose the opportunity to apply whatever the instruction was. The bigger problem is, I’m not an audial person. You can tell me until you’re blue in the face, but 75%-ish of it gets lost in translation somewhere. Show me though, and I’m on it! Or just speak slowly and use small words. I’ve spent lots of time at a halt, contorted in the saddle asking, “You mean like this?”
You may now return to your regularly scheduled numping, finging, fruitbatting, hoohoo-laughing-offing conversation.
I don’t know about east - west, but I can say that it makes remembering my dressage tests extra special interesting.
My own personal contribution:
MOTHERATOR
