The previous thread inspired me, so with apologies to Carly Simon and some shameless borrowing from fellow BB’ers on the original thread, here you go (figured it was only fair to poke some fun at hunter people since I had a good time with the DQs)…
You cantered in the show ring,
Like you were walking on to a stage
Your hat strategically molded to your head
Your TS’s were greenish beige
You had one eye on the judges,
As you started to compete
And all the men dreamed that they’d be your trainer, they’d be your trainer…
CHORUS
And you’re so vain, you probably think the show is about you, don’t you?
You’re so vain, I bet you think the show is about you, don’t you? don’t you?
You showed me several years ago,
When I was still quite pre-green
When you said that we made such a winning pair
And that you would never lean
But you gave away the mounts you ruined
And one of them was me
I had some dreams, were there drugs in my sweet feed, drugs in my sweet feed…
CHORUS
Well I hear you went up north to show
and your horse naturally won
So you flew the judges to Nova Scotia
To see a total eclipse of the sun
Well you’re where you should be all the time
And when you’re not;
You’re with some under-aged groom
or the wife of a jumper, wife of a jumper
CHORUS
Yep, DMK, it does get catching. 
