My favorite line:
“She acts out in a true pre-greenie way:
“I am farting, I am bucking,
and I will not get the change.””
Brilliant!! 
Aleesha
“Once you Infopop, you can’t stop” - ErinB
Can anyone resurrect the old Janis Joplin “Lord Won’t You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz” thread??
Hey AAjumper <BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> LOL DMK!!! My favorite line from your song is “I had some dreams there were drugs in my sweetfeed”…TOO funny!!!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I liked that line too! Of course, I liked it sooo much I started quietly humming/singing it to myself in my cube while working late one night. Didn’t realize that I had co-workers around. They recognized the tune but had NO idea what this “drugs in my sweet feed” thing was about. 
“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
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My gawd, you two are so talented…any duets in your future
I am currently working on a horsey version of “Satisfaction” - Bare with me - should be done by 4:30 
I followed Sleepy’s suggestions and rewrote the Eagles’ “Desperado”
Jumper Rider
Why don’t you come to your senses
You’ve been crashing through fences
For so long now
Oh you’re a brave one
But I know that you’ve been a lawn dart
Those courses that please you can trick you somehow
Don’t you gallop to the combination
He’ll refuse it if he’s able
You know the inside turn is always the best bet
And it seems to me some fine mounts
Have been walkin’ through your barn aisle
But you only buy the ones that you can’t ride
Jumper Rider
Oh you ain’t gettin’ no faster
Your spurs and your big crop
Are making him nuts
And time faults? Oh time faults
That’s just some trainers talkin’
Your horse he would rather jump this course all alone
Don’t your feet get stuck on your stirrup pads
Your horse won’t go and you have to add
Should you do the seven or the eight?
You’re dropping all the rails and poles
Ain’t it funny how the ribbons go away
Jumper Rider
Why don’t you come to your senses
Stop jumping those fences
Trot through the gate
You may be off course
But there’s a trainer to school you
You better let that poor judge buzz you
Let that poor judge buzz you
You better let that poor judge buzz you
Before it’s too late
Clap clap clap Good job MissD!!!
Nasty (Mares)
Gimme a lead!
Trottin’ in the warmup ring
Thinkin� nasty thoughts
A tail that swishes back and forth
Oh you turn me off
That’s right, let me tell you
Nasty, nasty mares don’t change their lead
Oh, you nasty mares
Nasty, nasty mares don’t ever change
Oh, you nasty mares
I don’t like no nasty mare
I don’t like those nasty bucks, ooh neigh
The only nasty thing I like is the nasty crop
Will this one do?
A-ha, I know
Neigh
Nasty, nasty mares don’t change their lead
Oh, you nasty mares
Nasty, nasty mares don’t ever change
Oh, you nasty mares
Nasty, nasty mares, give me your nasty buck
Oh, you nasty mares
Nasty, nasty mares, let me see your nasty ears pin
Oh, you nasty mares
I can learn to sit to this
Sit up!
I’m not a hunter (no)
I just want some impulsion (That’s right)
So close the legs if you want me to respond
'Cause Chestnut is my middle name
But my last name is Mare
No, my first name ain’t Regumate
It’s Bute
Miss Bute, when I’m nasty
Nasty, nasty mares don’t change their lead
Oh, you nasty mares
Nasty, nasty mares don’t ever change
Oh, you nasty mares
Nasty mares don’t change their leads
Oh, you nasty mares don’t change their leads
Nasty, don’t listen to the leg
Ohn you nasty mares
I love this part
HEY!
Who’s that pickin� to the jump? (Nasty mares!)
Who’s that in that nasty bit? (Nasty mares!)
Who’s that eatin� that nasty jump? (Nasty mares!)
Who’s that jammin� on the brakes? (Nasty mares!)
Riders, nasty mares
Don’t change their lead
Oh, you nasty mares
An oldie but goodie… The other one I remember is the one to the tune of Janis Joplin’s “O Lord Won’t You Buy Me… a Mercedes Benz.” That one was for those of us who can occasionally think up a funny verse, but have trouble with a whole song.
OMG, DMK!!! You are a genius, milady!!!
(obviously to the tune of Diamonds are a Girl’s best friend)
The French mares were bred to ride
They delight in jumping jumps
But mine prefers a squeal and a buck
And gives me quite a lump
A foal by her side may be quite continental
But Depo is a mare’s best friend
A lunge may be grand but it won’t pay the show bill
My farrier, or with the transitions on the flat
The saddle’s growing cold as my mare grows old
And losing her topline in the end
But IM or implant
These hormones don’t lose their kick
Depo is a mare’s best friend
… Pfizer … Fort Dodge…
Talk to me Doc, tell me all about it!
There may come a time when a mare needs a breeding
But Depo is a mare’s best friend
There may come a time when a hard-boiled trainer
Thinks she’s awful nice
But get that shot or else no dice
Gadgets are your friend when Fall’s at an end
But beware when Spring starts to descend
It’s then that that mare can raise your every hair
Depo is a mare’s best friend
I’ve heard of some cures that are strictly herbal
But Depo is a mare’s best friend
I think remedies that depend on just the verbal
Are better bets if horsettes get gifts from nice young vets
Time rolls on and youth is gone
And you can’t bend through a circle
But stiff back or sore hocks
You stand still for that shot
Depo… Depo…
- I don’t mean regumate -
But Depo is a mare’s best friend
