You're So Vain, Part II

[Portia]

Oh, I’m laughing, Sue L! LOLOLOL

Here’s another one that was posted on the Alice Made Me Do It thread, but it really belongs here in our growing song collection. It is the first one written by a horse to a horse.

By The Arch Man:

Ja, I’m the Renaissance Horse - jumper, scooter, bucker, lyricist

In honour of my beloved, Alice, I have adapted Jimi Henrix’s “Foxy Lady”. I know the song only because mein mutter plays it, very loudly, when speeding on dirt roads to HITS.

Foxy Alice
You know you are a cute little butt breaker
Foxy yeah,
And you know you are a sweet little fohlen maker
Foxy

I wanna take you in my paddock, yeah
I won’t do you no harm cause I’m a geld-a
You’ve got to be all mein, all mein
ooh Foxy Alice
Foxy, Foxy

Now-a I see you trot into the show ring
oh Foxy
You make me wanna rear and-a neigh
Foxy, oh baby prick your ear forward now
I’ve made up my mind my marish fraulein,
I’m tired of wasting all my precious time
You’ve got to be all mine, all mine

ooh, Foxy Alice
Ooh, Foxy Alice, neigh, neigh
You trot so good, Foxy
oh yeah Foxy
yeah, give us some oats, Foxy
Foxy Alice
Foxy Alice
Foxy Alice

[DMK]

Bumpkin, I’ve never listened to Hotel California and You’re so Vain quite the same way since…

[Merry]

Heidi, have you been nippin’ a little too much on that bottle of birthday wine I sent you?

That was hysterical!

“Friends don’t let friends eat fish tacos.”

[L_Scott]

what happened to the other thread. Did infopop eat it up. Now I have to do another song.

[Linny]

Pass the Depends!!!

BEQS clique. With elbows in!

[dublin]

Do you think we can get Anne Murray to lend her vocal talents? She just might be VERY interested, given the current state of her show business career… Heidi, can you pitch it to the ‘Canadian songbird’ for us???

[AAJumper]

Bump! I love this thread!

visit www.victorianfarms.com

[DMK]

We can never know about fences to come
But we pray they’re not too gory
And I wonder if I’m ready for three-six
Or just chasing after three foot glory.

Anticipation, Anticipation
Is making me chip
It’s keeping me waiting…

And I tell you how easy it is to school with you
And how right your screaming feels to me.
But I rehearsed that chip just late last night
When I was thinking about how tight this fence might be.

Anticipation, Anticipation
Is making me long
It’s keeping me running…

And tomorrow we might not train together
I’m no trainer, I don’t know horses’ ways
So I’ll try to find eight fences here and now
And stay forward, 'cause these are the horse show days.

(uh oh… that was dangerously easy)

[eikcaj]

LOL! I"m laughing so hard from all these songs!
I"m going to try one…altohugh it’s not as good as some of the other ones, they’re really fun to write!

OK…to the tune of “The Middle” by Jimmey Eat World…

Hey, don’t scratch yourself out yet
It’s only in your head
You feel left out or
put your Millers instead of your TS’s on
Just do your best
Try all those flying lead changes you can
And don’t you worry
What the competition tells themselves
When you’re off course

It just takes some time
Little pony you’re in the middle
Just up the pace
Everything will be just fine
Maybe you’ll show at a higher height
Hey-you never know
They’re all the same
You know what you’re doing
Now that you’ve shown

So don’t jump in
You’re in this division now
Yeah, just pace yourself
It doesn’t matter
If it’s good enough
For that other judge

It just takes some time
Little pony you’re in the middle
Just up the pace
Everything will be just fine
Maybe you’ll show at a higher height
Hey-you never know
They’re all the same
You know what you’re doing
Now that you’ve shown

http://www.mistyvalley.com/thehorseroom

Member of the glitter clique!

[DMK]

That’s great! (it’s sort of like a disease, this song-rewriting thing, isn’t it?)

[Portia]

That was great. Not too corny at all!

[Portia]

VTRider, another great one!

[MissD]

I’m going to try my best to do this. Sung to the tune of Tomorrow from Annie.

I’ll win that class tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, I will pin
I’m thinkin’ about tomorrow
When I’ll nail all eight jumps
And each lead change
Til I win

When I’m stuck a horse
That’s tired and lazy
I just stick in my spurs
And curse and pray

The judge will pick me tomorrow
So I gotta ride hard til tomorrow Then I’ll say

                                              Tomorrow! Tomorrow! 

I’ll win first tomorrow
It’s always a class away!

[skysmom]

The people I work with are Positive I’ve lost my mind…they don’t understand what causes the little shrieks of laughter & tears while quitely reading my computer…Since they are all non-horsey , trying to explain only gets me snide side-ways glances…I definatley don’ t care…You all crack me up SO much

[slp]

I’m going to print them out and post them at our barn; too much talent here!
Susan

[DMK]

The previous thread inspired me, so with apologies to Carly Simon and some shameless borrowing from fellow BB’ers on the original thread, here you go (figured it was only fair to poke some fun at hunter people since I had a good time with the DQs)…

You cantered in the show ring,
Like you were walking on to a stage
Your hat strategically molded to your head
Your TS’s were greenish beige
You had one eye on the judges,
As you started to compete
And all the men dreamed that they’d be your trainer, they’d be your trainer…

CHORUS
And you’re so vain, you probably think the show is about you, don’t you?
You’re so vain, I bet you think the show is about you, don’t you? don’t you?

You showed me several years ago,
When I was still quite pre-green
When you said that we made such a winning pair
And that you would never lean
But you gave away the mounts you ruined
And one of them was me
I had some dreams, were there drugs in my sweet feed, drugs in my sweet feed…

CHORUS

Well I hear you went up north to show
and your horse naturally won
So you flew the judges to Nova Scotia
To see a total eclipse of the sun
Well you’re where you should be all the time
And when you’re not;
You’re with some under-aged groom
or the wife of a jumper, wife of a jumper

CHORUS

[Chef_Jade]

OK - I’ll give it a shot. But I hardly know the words to any real songs so the only tune I could come up with is to Disney’s The Little Mermaid “Part of that World” (And I don’t even have little kids!)

[I]Look at these bits!
Isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?
Wouldn’t you thing I’m a rider, a girl who has - everything?

Which bit should I choose? I think one to abuse.
How many gags can just one horse use?
Lookin’ around here I see - every bit there could be.

I’ve got snaffles and pelhams a plenty.
I’ve got eggbutts and french links galore.
You want a hackamore? I got 20.
But who cares?
No big deal.
I want more

I want a bit that can bend my horse
stop and turn on a dime…without using force.
Piaffe and passage…lets me jump a course…

Whens it my turn?
Wouldn’t I love?
To find a bit my horse won’t go above!
Look and you’ll see…
One day I’ll be.
Anne Kursinski… [/I]

[Merry]

Even Joan Rivers says you did a great parody!

[Portia]

No, no, no – you’re not getting me started on this again! I have to get ready to give a speech this afternoon.

Must not re-write lyrics, must not re-write lyrics, must not re-write lyrics…

[AHC]

Another home run for DMK! Loved it…