3 year old Mustang pony keeps charging at me and biting me

[Scribbler]

@Sillygoober

I know I’m not a good trainer am trying to find someone who would be a better fit for the pony. I was stupid to listen to my mom about the mustang and go with her to get one she talked me into it and I didn’t realize that they are feral and need a lot more serious training than a regular domesticated horse. My mom thought I would be a good fit and a good trainer for this pony and now I’m realizing that I shouldn’t have listened to her from everyone’s advice. I talked to her and she won’t let me “give up” but ik I’m not good for this horse and I’m going to get hurt then the BLM will mark her as too dangerous and send her to a kill pen. I don’t have the title for her yet so I can’t even give her to someone more capable. And I can’t send her back to the BLM because my mom is the person who technically owns her rn and she won’t let me. I’m only 14 and I really have no say in what my mom does. My mom is wanting to train her but ik my mom won’t do it. She got the mustang said she would train it then never did anything with her. My mom told me I should do it which was clearly not smart of her. I got overly confident bc of what she told me. I’m trying what I can to find anyone who will take her when I get the title or I will send her back to the blm before she gets too dangerous. I don’t know how I’ll be able to give her away bc my mom but I’ll figure something out.

Ok. This account suggests you are a child being put in a dangerous and impossible situation by an adult who is irresponsible and made bad decisions. Most of the time partners make good enough decisions. But I have certainly seen parents make equally stupid decisions about horses.

You don’t need to tell us but you may want to reflect on whether these poor decisions are part and parcel of how your mother behaved (impulsive, fantasy based etc).

Your mother acquired a feral horse that is beyond her skill set and she gave up working with her and suggests you take over.

You are in no way required to take over your mother’s dangerous abandoned project horse. Just stop working with this horse before you get seriously hurt.

You don’t have the legal standing (age or ownership) the money or the autonomy to seek out help or make decisions about this horse.

The only decision you can make is to stay safe.

I also think you need to find another trusted adult to talk with since I don’t think your mother sounds like she is in the headspace to make safe decisions for you. Father, aunt, uncle, riding coach, teacher, school counselor etc.

Ok, I just read the whole thread with the extra information about the family dynamics. It’s unfortunate that you are still on the same property as your mother even after CPS intervened.

Your grandmother is your guardian I assume, so crazy threats from your mother shouldn’t have any reality. This is a really hard place to be in, and the horse is just the visible tip of the chaos.

You need to keep yourself safe and stop interacting with the feral horse.

[betonbill]

Might there be a caseworker involved in all of this? If so, that plus the grandparents might be the correct–and legal–way to go. Good luck, OP.

[Scribbler]

I’m also a little bit concerned about who is taking financial responsibility for the feral horse. The mother owns the horse and has a job, but the daughter who is 14 has to pay the bills? It also likely matters whose property it is, the mother or grandmother. It sounds like multiple residences (whether houses or modular) on one property which technically means daughter is living with grandmother not mother, but still kind of close to whatever craziness involved CFP originally.

[Sillygoober]

My mom grandma and uncle all own the property together. I’m the one financially responsible for the horses my grandma will pitch in a bit but for the farrier or 20 for hay. She’s on disability and doesn’t get a lot. My mom gets 25 to 30 an hour. She gives all her money to her husband In prison. She is irresponsible

[Scribbler]

@Sillygoober

My mom grandma and uncle all own the property together. I’m the one financially responsible for the horses my grandma will pitch in a bit but for the farrier or 20 for hay. She’s on disability and doesn’t get a lot. My mom gets 25 to 30 an hour. She gives all her money to her husband In prison. She is irresponsible

The other adults need to step up. This is way beyond what you can solve. Where are you getting the cash from.

It’s very hard to be a child of a really dysfunctional family. You are 14. The best thing you can do for yourself is keep yourself safe physically and emotionally, do well in school, make yourself employable as best you can, and strike out on your own at 18.

Families like this don’t have your best interests at heart. There’s also a dynamic that will end up keeping you dependent on them. There’s going to be pressure to stick around and be grandma’s caretaker or maybe you’ll get kicked in the head by the feral pony and end up disabled.

You need to prioritize your own safety and your own escape, and that means working on your own emotional autonomy.

There’s lots of resources out there about surviving dysfunctional families.

[Sillygoober]

Ive talked to my grandma about helping me get someone from the BLM to come get the pony and give her to a tip trainer. She said yes. But I’m going to wait to get rid of her until I find a friend for my older horse. I’m looking at a red roan mare that is 100% broke on the ground and in saddle so she is a safer choice for me to continue learning. Horses have been the thing helping me not be sad all the time. I get money from working with my boyfriend at his dad’s job. I’m not interacting with the pony I’m just going out, checking the water and food and making sure she’s not dying or injured

[Sillygoober]

My grandma is going to help me with the horses after the mustang is gone she’s getting food stamps so instead of spending 400 on food a week she can just use the food stamps

[Sillygoober]

Also my mom is planning on moving to Michigan to be with her husband in jail and I’ll be 16 when she does that. My mom is basically the only person in my family that causes all of the problems. I never really talk to her in person unless she’s taking me to the doctor. I just avoid her

[SuzieQNutter]

@Sillygoober

I’m not interacting with the pony I’m just going out, checking the water and food and making sure she’s not dying or injured

I am so glad to hear this.

Instead of buying another horse, put your money into riding lessons. Do NOT think about buying a horse until you can handle a horse when you are on the ground and I would prefer it if you can trot and canter a horse in both directions first, and it is even better if you can trot and canter a 10 m circle in both directions first.

Even better if you can trot and canter 10 m circle in both directions on the horse you are going to buy first.

[Sillygoober]

Okay

[GraceLikeRain]

@Sillygoober

I’m looking at a red roan mare that is 100% broke on the ground and in saddle so she is a safer choice for me to continue learning. Horses have been the thing helping me not be sad all the time. I get money from working with my boyfriend at his dad’s job.

Just food for thought. In a few years you might have some really exciting opportunities available with a job or school somewhere else. Having a horse during this stage can be really expensive but also close doors to accepting opportunities. A bad vet bill can put you in debt for months or years and boarding a horse somewhere can get wildly expensive. When horses are your lifeline I totally get wanting to have your own horse but this may not be the right season of life. Having the ability to afford a horse depend on your boyfriend can also keep you stuck in a relationship that may not be best for you in the future.

[Scribbler]

Yes. I think it would be a great idea to take riding lessons, and maybe to do barn work, at a friendly well run barn. You will get to know some functional adults and gain some skills and get around horses.

I understand the appeal of having your own horse, but you are in a position with limited income, no adult support or mentors, and very few horse handling skills.

Go find a good barn to work at and take lessons and learn how to do horses properly.

Your family can’t do anything to help launch you in life. Honestly I think having your grandmother live off food stamps while directing her cash to keep a horse is a terrible idea. Your family does not have the money to keep horses even in your own backyard. Someone eligible for food stamps should not be expected to lok after a horse too.

Go find a barn, if you are lucky and work hard you will find a mentor adult who can model responsible behavior and help you gain some skills and move forward to being a competent young adult

[shiloh]

You’ve gotten a lot of good advice here. I second the lesson idea. 14 is too young to be financially responsible for a horse when you don’t have the backing of your parents. Don’t saddle yourself (yes, i did that pun intentionally) with possible debt and a reason to put impediments in your path.

also, your grandmother could get in a lot of trouble if they find out she is paying for a horse instead of groceries. A horse is a luxury.

I wish you luck and hope that you can get things together.

[skydy]

Please don’t buy another horse. Save your money , find a good barn that has lesson horses or a kind COTH person near you, and take riding lessons. You’ll be able to learn how to ride well, and what is involved in training. Then, in the future, you’ll be able to buy and train one of your own.

You are 14, you have plenty of time. Start at the beginning. Take riding lessons, and learn from experienced horse people. There is so much to learn and you can do it without owning a horse at 14.

It will be great fun as you are learning, and when you are more experienced and years older (more financially independent) that will be the time to take on the huge financial responsibility of owning and training a horse. Owning a horse is a huge undertaking both financial and time wise, and much more than you should be taking on at your age.

Wait until you are finished with school, have a job that supports you enough to pay for your own housing and all the other things that adults have to pay for, before you ever buy a horse.

Good luck @Sillygoober. I’m hoping all the best for you.

[furlong47]

I believe the reasoning for a new horse is that the older gelding will be alone on the property if the Mustang leaves… it seems like people have forgotten that OP will still have him? That said, some horses do okay alone, or possibly he could also be rehomed, but he sounds like one you would have to be very careful with rehoming (older, grumpy, hard to catch, has been a pasture pal for years/possibly not rideable?)

[Bluey]

@furlong47

I believe the reasoning for a new horse is that the older gelding will be alone on the property if the Mustang leaves… it seems like people have forgotten that OP will still have him? That said, some horses do okay alone, or possibly he could also be rehomed, but he sounds like one you would have to be very careful with rehoming (older, grumpy, hard to catch, has been a pasture pal for years/possibly not rideable?)

OP also mentioned both horses were not really bonded, old horse may be fine alone.
Or maybe he can be rehomed as a companion horse.

Seems that the family has other more pressing needs than caring for horses.
OP may do better getting her horse fix by taking lessons and learning horsemanship and barn management with whatever money is available, rather than trying to own/care for/financially support horses?

[2DogsFarm]

EDIT to remove my original suggestion & add:
Posted before I got caught up.
@Sillygoober Forget trying to do anything with the mare yourself. At 14 you’re not going to be able to make th decisions on how to resolve this mares issues.
You need to get a responsible adult - anyone in your family, from school or church.
Even then, if your mother won’t transfer ownership, all you can do is notify the BLM.
Sounds like they still own the horse anyways.
Can you at least separate this mare so she can be fed/watered from outside the fence if you’re the only one responsible for doing it.

[luvmyhackney]

Either rehome the older gelding or get him a goat as a companion if you have proper fencing. I wouldn’t add an additional horse if possible.

My pony is doing ok with his goat friends with my other horse is in training off property.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

Honestly, regardless of whether the older horse needs a friend or not, leaving a young feral mare with a kid in an unstable family situation (sorry OP) is not doing her any favors. Even if she just sits there, the longer she doesn’t have a professional trainer, the more difficult it will be for her to even be handled, much less of any use to anyone. I don’t know anything about the BLM program, but I’m sad that they let the horse go without more vetting of the situation (my apologies if I’m showing my ignorance about the program).

[furlong47]

I definitely think the mare needs to go back… but all these responses were saying don’t own a horse right now without even considering the other one that is already present. And if he also legally belongs to the mom, it might be even more challenging to get rid of him. I wouldn’t buy or take a horse from a teen without the adult owner signing the bill of sale.