OH LOLOLOL. I wonder what a horse psychologist would make of this???
I must tell you that you foreigners are going about this total enslavement of your owner ALL the wrong way…
First, you must impress your owner with your Sam Savitt good looks. Of course this requires that you be a Thoroughbred, but some things can’t be helped.
Then you foster an attitude of total superiority and royalty. The “Look of Eagles” works well here, but don’t be aloof all the time. Smart royalty spends some time with the commoners - it keeps us well fed and robed. They are grateful for your presence. They will never know they are being used.
Then you impress her with your amazing talents and trainability, in spite of the fact you spent a few years on the track. This will always get you bonus points.
After you have attended a few shows, the goods will start rolling in. If I could only describe the sheer quantity and quality of clothing I have. And everytime I shred one, the silly fool spends MORE on the replacement!!!
Then, after your place is totally secure, it’s time for your Master Move. I suggest starting with a well-timed abscess. The farrier or the footing will get the blame, and you will get the show off. Next, you may want to work up to something more reliable, like “thin walls”… A nice, non-descript complaint that can get you a few holidays every 5 weeks or so, and VERY easy to pull off if you are a TB. Unfortunately, a crafty owner will start scheduling the farrier around your shows. While at first this can be a hindrence, learn to use this to your advantage. A well-timed strained ankle or small wound 2 weeks after the farrier visits is likely to get you out of a show!
Another important thing to know is how not to go too far - even if it is for a big show. If the vet shows up with Big Machines, you might just possibly have miscalculated. Last thing you want to do is to spend time in the local University Hospital. They don’t EVER give you the good treats, and when you decide to stop eating that garbage they call “hay” as a show of your displeasure (like you have EVER eaten it off the floor!), they assume you are colicing. I don’t want to describe what follows that diagnosis…
The only possible good thing to come out of those experiences is that your mother will treat you like a God for at least 4 more weeks. Until you try to spit her into an oxer in an attempt to convince her that when they operated on your leg they removed all the brain cells that had ever seen a jump before…
Would we EVER steer you wrong 
btw, Hadfields also makes a lovely matching RUNNING martingale for when you venture into the jumper ring… and surely you will need some of their lovely white rubber reins for such an occasion…
Verra funny, Jair! Guess you had a productive weekend!!!
What is this “work” that I have heard mentioned?
Life is treats and scritches behind the ears and soft brushes. Otherwise, I stamp my feet and wring my tail and my humans produce pretty darned quick, I am proud too say!
My human mother (I have many doting maternal beings) has been saying confusing things about “A” shows for babies, but I don’t listen to her.
I have Hanovarian step-cousins but they only send me presents from their county, I have never met them although they are grown up and have a trailer of their own. My human mother brought me a trailer to play with but she is poor and couldn’t keep it for more than the holiday so I didn’t get a chance to go for a very long ride. I liked it, though, My human toy man rode with me and gave me many treats.
Would Alice, PK, Bambi, Robbie, and Joe like to be invited to my birthday party? My human mother has promised me anything I want. I am making a list but she won’t let me see any of the nice catalogs that she has. The only ones she leaves around for me to see have the words “Select Sale” on them and the horses in those ones don’t have nice things to wear.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> You are evil DMK!! Rubber reins, really I mean, if I move to the jumpers, don’t you know I’ll need a jumper bridle??? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I stand Guilty as Charged 
But I suppose if you wanted to save some money, you could just purchase a lovely Hadfields raised figure eight noseband and transform it into a jumper bridle… I’m sure Alice, The High Priestess of Impeccable Taste would only toss you into one or two oxers for the insult…
Sounds like you had a fun shopping excursion!
Oh Jair forget the Calibre’s! Maplesprings just got in a new/used County Pro Fit that would most likely fit “Lovely Alice”! 
Oh, Fish and Chip land near Fraiser HGWY.
LOL - that’s so amusing! At least I’m not the only one with self restraint problems.
But I fear we have opened a can of worms - now REGAL wants his own SN and is horribly mad that I am already using his name!
Sarah * AKA “Regal’s Person”
ROFLMAO…perfect.
Lovely Alice should win the March Award for Best Poster. In honor of Sunday night’s Oscar Awards, I humbly nominate you (and attempt to post in your presence).
Dearest Arch Man, I would never never covet over you, I would just admire from afar. Please forgive me after all its your Birthday on Friday and I have presents…
Vat is zis? Am funny to you?
Nein, am big strong Hanoverian boy!
Must go buck now - to show just how big und strong I am!
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Of course this requires that you be a Thoroughbred, but some things can’t be helped. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Amen - you and I could grow to be good friends.
Who would want to be a dumbblood - oops, I mean Warmblood!
After my non-existant march holiday last week, Jair, you have started my week off right.
I am thinking I will have to refrain from taking Hannah tack shopping when the time comes. I will definately take my hubby, because my favourite line out of him in any store is “get whatever the h*** you want, but do it fast, I want outa here!”. I just stroll around for a few minutes and wham, he’s gone, and I get what I want.
Oh sure Jair, blame it on poor Alice You know that down deep in your soul, it was you imitating her voice. Using your fabulous technic of ventriloquism to make HWBA buy that fabulous bridle and martingale.
I like the HWBA designation beter than s/o, lover or pozzle-Q. I have a He Who Bought Moody and Liz.
HWBMAL insists Liz must be a raggy-tag orphan horse and I must be a raggy-tag rider since we spent all our money on the four hooves and had the tail thrown in!! 
However, I did notice him sizing up some new breeches I insisted I needed I have the feeling he is hearing a Liz voice in his head… and it sounds a bit like Zsa-Zsa… Diamonds in Biarritz, dahling… oh wait, that is MY voice!! Biarritz is telling him, Vaccinations, please, and plenty of em and please do my hooves as well, and don’t forget my special sweet-feed…
Jair, for simple changes, it is not my fault you do not keep even in both reins und use enough outside leg. How vill you learn if I do not make you to be correct?
I haf looked at brow bands. I like wery much the one called Baroque mit the Garnet stone, or the one called Sunburst with the Topaz stone. Ja, both would look wery gut on mein brun face. Und you see I am not demand. They are not the most money costing ones. Ven we do jumpers, you get for me, ja?
Jair, I wish I’d been there. What fun it must have been.
Now I know Alice and Archie are related. It must be a German thing to speak quietly yet clearly in one’s ear while tack shopping. My own story has a similar end, I’m (restate not me but my VISA) afraid to say!
Ziggy needed a new custom made saddle shortly after I purchased him. Well, more accurately, my existing saddle did not fit and was irritating his long and occasionally sore back. In come Prestige and the wonderful Jill from Malvern Saddlery in PA and Ziggy gets measured. Jill of course, made all the appropriate cooing noises over Ziggy and many treats were awarded for standing like a statue. We ended the session with an agreement to buy the saddle and many pats to Zig Zig for explempary behaviour.
Unfortunately as she is preparing to leave, I catch Archie’s mornful expression. “What no saddle for me?, You don’t love me as much! You bought me first and I didn’t get a saddle!!” Break your heart. So out comes Archie and Jill’s equipment. Cut to an hour later…
Mazzy happily (what planet did I grow up on…that’s right, the one where I wished for the stars and the parents could only give me the adhesive type, bless them!) agrees to buy each a new saddle. Archie, looking distinctly more content than 60 minutes hence, walks proudly back to his stall and graciously licks my hand. A rather carroty infused slobbery kiss of gratitude. I was forgiven and he got his own way. Darn that Hanoverian face.
Moral of the story: Do not arrange to purchase one horse something within view of the other family member, its a guaranteed conclusion that the budget will double.
Kisses to Alice and Adrian (lest we forget the hero of your story!).
Allright, Jair!
Glad you had fun! Isn’t it just to die for?
I haven’t checked out the Hadfield’s stuff yet, but my doggie (surrogate horse) is the proud owner of a lovely Edgewood dog collar.
BTW, they also carry a very nice leather conditioner by Sedgewick & Co. that my doggie is also (strangely) very fond of - what is IN that stuff? She goes nuts when I have it out!
Bumpkin, I too have ogled the Calibre saddles - oooh, French calf… 
oh gee, thanks Van Teal/Reginpony, now you’ve gone and given her ideas
Sorry Alice sweetie! its cubic zirconium for you!
