[QUOTE=JBD;7698752]
Read my posts again please. I’ve taken lessons at a dressage barn for a couple years as well as shown schooling and a couple rated shows. But if you’d like me to add you to the sample size, consider it done[/QUOTE]
Did you really just go ad hominem on someone here?
If so, and that’s acceptable behavior in this forum, y’all deserve each other.
I was sort of thinking about the beauty of forum threats and how little weight they actually carry…
[QUOTE=rockfordbuckeye;7698457]
Well she might have just gotten so excited that there was finally a person at work that would understand her that she kind of spewed horse info. that was bottled up inside. From time to time we all get so excited about something that we kind of blast it out at someone else and ignore them (not meaning too). It’s just good natured enthusiasm. Think of children and how they communicate ;-)[/QUOTE]
This is so totally me!:o
[QUOTE=JBD;7698875]
It would be fun to continue prodding the DQs who have responded negatively but I’d rather spend my time more positively and productively[/QUOTE]
This is like an irony sandwich.
Ok, so I totally have not read this whole thread, as it seemed to devolve into typical pretty quickly… but I have a distinct memory of an interaction that makes me laugh every time…
I worked as a vet tech at a university for years. Plenty of members of the dressage community in the state came in and out regularly. Some of them knew me from outside my ‘technician’ role and some didn’t but we would chat and it was usually very nice.
One person in particular was pretty regular, not someone I knew, but talked a lot about how her horse was a totally amazing unbelievable dressage horse. Mostly just talked about her guy and looked at me a little crooked and totally unconvinced when I said I rode dressage. I never took it personally, there are lots of completely obnoxious people in the horse world who don’t actually know what they are talking about, so I can understand her instinct to assume I was potentially full of crap. It just made me chuckle inside. She was nice and clearly loved her glorious horse. That made me happy.
One day, one of my horses happened to be at work with me for some reason or another, and she came in. “OH, is THAT your horse!?” yep. “Hrmm. He is big… He is Danish?! What level is HE?” Eh, we have good p and p but working on the one tempis and some other canter issues. Dont have much money to compete right now so we just learn and play.
She literally tripped over her own foot and almost fell walking. I could see recognition of every conversation we had where she explained what was required at second level or whatnot when I nodded and said I understood, flash across her face. I held it together then, but laughed til I cried later.
She is a sweet lady! I liked her then, and still do. It wasn’t personal, she wasn’t being mean or condescending to me on purpose. And I don’t think she really thought she was all that and a bag of chips who needed to explain her amazingness to me. She just loved her horse, loved talking about what they could do. And I thought it was great that she was so enthusiastic about our sport!
You can only get a bruise to your ego if you have one big enough that it sticks out… I remind myself that regularly. Be humble and assume the best of people not the worst. Life is more enjoyable that way!
[QUOTE=JBD;7698752]
Read my posts again please. I’ve taken lessons at a dressage barn for a couple years as well as shown schooling and a couple rated shows. But if you’d like me to add you to the sample size, consider it done[/QUOTE]
I’m not even a DQ, just a lowly eventer, but seriously - netg is one of the nicest people ever, even if she did just call your spade a spade. :lol:
I know a cowboy, a calf roper - he started out in a dressage barn and took a couple years worth of lessons, probably even did some schooling shows just like you. That does not make him a dressage expert, or an expert on the atmosphere of dressage barns, and he would never profess to be. Actually, he’s quite humble and I once let him bumble around on a horse of mine because he wanted to see if he remembered any of it (nope - but it was fun to watch, and he was both embarrassed and apologetic, neither of which were necessary). He actually had a lot of respect for me as an eventer and part-time DQ and we had some FANTASTIC, hours-long conversations about riding and training and technique.
Matter of fact, some of THE absolute best theorizing and training discussions I’ve had, have been had with trainers (and riders) of non-dressage persuasion. Sometimes you’re the listener, sometimes your the talker. Sometimes it’s a little of both.
Be kind, be humble, be gracious and maybe you’ll make a new friend. I’m sorry you had to listen to someone else “brag” in the middle of your own brag, but at least it doesn’t sound like you sacrificed too much time. 
It would be fun to continue prodding the DQs who have responded negatively but I’d rather spend my time more positively and productively
:lol::lol::lol:
My your post was just so positive and productive that this DQ wants to say…bless your heart!
While I no longer work in an actual barn, dealing with boarders and clients and their horses all day, every day, I still am very much in the horse industry. All of my co-workers are horse people to varying degrees and 99% of our clientele are horse people. I hear LOTS of things about LOTS of people’s horses and their own riding that can bore me to tears (honestly, I don’t need a 15 minute monologue about someone’s retired horse’s sheath). It even occasionally frustrates me, because a lot of people don’t know my history or background and don’t realize that I know A LOT (not everything, but I have a very, very healthy education in horse care and riding and try hard to pay attention to all the disciplines). But, I smile and nod and ooo and ahh when appropriate. 98% of the people I encounter every day are sweet and excited about their horses and what they are doing with them (even if they are just cleaning their retired horse’s sheath). I mean, they’re in a tack shop, for Christ’s sake! So, even if my head is bounding, I’m starving, my back is killing me and all I really care about is my horse, I ALWAYS try to listen and be attentive (and, really, some of the stories I hear are quite sweet!). And, sometimes, I get to talk about my horse and my riding!
Soooo, smile and be polite, that’s all you have to do. People tend to be self centered whether they are horse people or not. It is a fact of life. There’s no reason to snub anyone or be rude, especially if you have to see them every day.
I’m sure I annoy some people talking about my horses… I do know I can come across as thinking I’m all that and a bag of chips, which I’m NOT, but I know my excitement can come across that way. Unless it’s someone waiting their turn to share the same with me, because I love hearing other people talk about their horses they love, too.
Denali, I’m sure you could outride me with one hand tied behind your back, but you sure sound like someone I’d enjoy hanging out with from that post.
Coming out of hiding to say that if ANYONE asks me about my horse and his or her face shows any interest at all…it’s all coming out. Photos and all.
I’m such a low level rider with the best thing that has ever happened to me…I want to share my joy ;).
I so could be that person. I don’t think I’m all that and a bag of chips - not even one chip - but my horse, yeah, he is for sure.
[QUOTE=JBD;7698752]
Read my posts again please. I’ve taken lessons at a dressage barn for a couple years as well as shown schooling and a couple rated shows. But if you’d like me to add you to the sample size, consider it done[/QUOTE]
I can’t imagine why this coworker wanted to make a social effort with you, but I think you can probably rest assured that she won’t do it again.
Sorry socializing is such a problem for you, it truly is sad.
Listen to yourself and realize that the person you are talking about is a twin to the person you see in your mirror every morning
"And I’m also guilty of talking more about mine than wanting to listen about someone else’s horse and discipline. "
"I know, I know. I’m coming off kinda beyotchy based on if we’d had just one intro conversation. It was when a non horse person asked about my upcoming show and she radar-eared the conversation, came over and interrupted to tell us what she had done with her horses over the weekend that I went from bemused to irritated at her total self focus. "
Sounds like you were more irritated that she interrupted YOUR going on and on about YOUR horse.
We can all be guilty of wanting to talk more than listen and but it’s a bit of a stretch to complain about her wanting to talk all about her horsey weekend when you were doing the same.
It’s easy to get caught up in the “I can top your story” syndrome which pretty much derails any possibility of a normal conversation. Bet the poor person who just asked “How was your weekend” was at that point trying as hard as possible to think of why s/he needed to be on the other side of the building RIGHT NOW.
I don’t want to dogpile, but I’m going to chime in on this one.
“I was so excited to meet another horse person at the office that I couldn’t help talk about what I do with my horses. I really hope I didn’t come across as overbearing in any way. Perhaps I did because they didn’t seem that interested in anything I had to say. Oh well. I’ll just talk with the guys down the hall who think dressage is where you go into the ring and do tricks. While they make jokes about dressage, at least they listen and make comments, albeit silly ones”
The title of the thread says it all. If the coworker were a 'self identified"? Arabian show barn person, there would be no chip and no thread. :winkgrin:
That’s Ok we won’t judge all people from “Arabian show barns” by this one sample.:lol:
Coworker was likely excited to find there was another horse person at work.
[QUOTE=FineAlready;7697718]
And then I showed them my horse’s extracted canine tooth that I keep in a jar on one of my shelves, thereby becoming the creepiest attorney in the firm. :)[/QUOTE]
OR the best damn attorney in the joint!!!
[QUOTE=Crockpot;7700357]
The title of the thread says it all. If the coworker were a 'self identified"? Arabian show barn person, there would be no chip and no thread. :winkgrin:
That’s Ok we won’t judge all people from “Arabian show barns” by this one sample.:lol:
Coworker was likely excited to find there was another horse person at work.[/QUOTE]
Man I don’t know what to do with this thread. I used ride the only Arab at a dressage barn and now my horse is the only dressage Arab at an Arab show barn. Give me some guidance - should I be offended or am I part of the clique? Or have I entered the uncanny valley of the horse world? (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley).
So confused… :lol:
(PS - Have met plenty of Arab people who ramble at length about Arab stuff. As an old fart I have learned it helps to be kind and tolerant. And I sure as shootin’ wouldn’t go on Arabian breeders network and b*tch about all the weirdo Arab people I’ve met!)
So at some point my eyes started crossing trying to read this stuff but I’d like to offer a little insight from someone who struggles with basic social skills.
I have ADHD and it is difficult for me to relate on a superficial level. I’m terrible at small talk and normal conversations. I’m a fantastic listener when it’s something serious; if you need to have a heart-to-heart I’m your girl, or you need a shoulder to cry on and I’m there. But when it comes to things like relating and understanding and talking about other people I struggle. I often have to relate to things through my own experiences.
So maybe this woman has social fails like I do. Maybe she needs to relate to you by talking about similar instances with her own horses. Or maybe she feels she needs to talk to you about horses because that is the only thing she knows she has in common with you. In essence she’s simply trying too hard just to try and relate to you. I often have to relate to things by going “Oh no you’re horse is lame, I’m so sorry. I remember when my horse was lame, it sucked.” Thus showing: I sympathize with you because I have experienced the same thing.
This whole conversation reminds my of a really nice older woman of my acquaintance who started taking riding lessons. She was on a barn field trip to Rolex one year and early in the morning at the hotel breakfast ran into a personable man wearing boots and breeches. Of course she was absolutely giddy to be at Rolex and to come face to face with a real live participant. She said she had a nice friendly chat with him, told him she “rode” and wished him luck for the day. She said she was so glad she realized she was speaking with Bruce Davidson and didn’t pretend to be anything more than an up-downer and a horse lover. Under those circumstances you have to fight the urge to try to sound like you know something useful… anything. :lol:
As a sj-er who has crossed to the dark side, I can tell you that show jumping is worse 
Especially juniors!
[QUOTE=FineAlready;7697718]
(…)
And then I showed them my horse’s extracted canine tooth that I keep in a jar on one of my shelves, thereby becoming the creepiest attorney in the firm. :)[/QUOTE]
FineAlready, I think I have you beat.
I have a bulletin board by my desk that I use to post printed out family pictures. They are primarily of my horse and my grandson. When my mare had surgery, I requested that they give me the bone chip that they removed, and I keep the vial of with the bone chip on my desk. If anyone asks, I have a photo of maresey’s surgery prep up on the BB.
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