Unless a woman specifically says, “Come and get me big man, I want it,” to a man, he should assume she doesn’t.
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A woman SHOULD be able to walk naked anywhere, anytime without molestation of any kind by a male. Anything else is squarely in the realm of lack of control/ethics on the part of the male.
Do I choose to do this myself? No. I Acknowledge context. However, likening men to predators who are a normal part of the food chain not only infantilizes men, it casts women as fodder.
Not helpful AT ALL.
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And notice that on crowded public beaches where everyone is running around in a bathing suit, it’s daylight, and the expectation is that everyone behaves themselves, men do. It’s not what the woman is wearing. It’s what social constraints the men internalize and obey.
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Pity that’s college-specific but otherwise it’s spot-on.
Also re. the career thing. One of the first job interviews I had for a reporter position at a small town (but this was a town that was more or less a suburb of a larger city) paper, the interviewer was a woman.
She straight-up asked me during the interview, when the matter of commuting (would be impossible as I was an hour southeast of the nearby city and they were another 30 or so minutes from said city and that’s when weather and traffic were all good) or relocating came up, “now, you don’t have any family members or maybe a boyfriend who’d have a problem with you moving?”
This wasn’t in the stone age. This was 2018. This woman was probably in her 50s or early 60s, close to my own mom’s age. I was flabbergasted she’d even ask that.
Funny, as much as people can get man-hate-y, and very understandably so, I had more than a few job interviews with editors who were men and none of them ever asked anything like that.
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You’re right about the audience for the chart. That said, the accompanying article covered much of the ground left empty by the chart.
You’re also right about lots of women in power upholding the rules and customs of the patriarchy. It might crumble into a pile of testosterone-riven dust without our well-intentioned misogynistic sisters.
Patriarchy is a man problem and a people problem.
This is why we stick with horses. 
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Just as men can. If they choose to do so.
The cops may be called for ‘indecent exposure’ or something of that kind. But women will not be grabbing the guy to force sex on him.
Actually men won’t do that either. Even those interested in other men.
^^^ This.
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That question stems from hiring someone and that person quitting because the SO/employee have an issue with it and then person prioritizes their relationship over their job and quits.
People do that. They think 90 minutes (using your location to the job) is no big deal and manageable but it’s not. I don’t think that question is out of line. I see it everyday when people decide to do a year long stint where I work and the relationship struggles. Not everyone is cut out to do long distance no matter how temporary.
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In journalism it’s usually ideal to live in or much nearer than 90 minutes to the community you cover. I’ve applied for positions where the longest commute they would want was 30 minutes. And again, this was 90 minutes assuming perfect weather and ideal traffic.
There’s also the fact that, y’know, I doubt a man would be asked that exact same question in those exact words (even say, with someone presuming straightness and flipping the genders around accordingly I cannot imagine an interviewer asking someone “so do you have any family or a girlfriend who would have a problem with you moving,” and yes, it was specifically w/regards to moving/relocating not just commuting.) so, yeah, I do feel it was somewhat sexist on the part of the (woman) interviewer.
EDIT: I do get what you’re saying re. where it comes from and my ultimate hunch in hindsight was that the interviewer was projecting their issues with the previous employee onto every interviewee (I had a couple interviews for different jobs where I kinda got that sense from the odd specificity of questions I was asked) but still, it’s a pretty freakin’ sexist assumption to make, IMO.
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It’s a badly worded question for sure. In my field there’s an assumption that you will cross nations and even international borders if someone actually offers you a job. If you’re applying for a job in another city the assumption is you will move. If you were in the general region there’s an assumption you would make it work and probably move closer if that seemed like a good idea
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Like I said it’s probably been her experience with women who have moved for the job while in a relationship. IME women struggle with relationship issues more than men and are more accommodating to the relationship over a job.
But yeah you can have a chip on shoulder because of her experience.
Your edit is exactly my point. And it’s not projecting it’s not wanting to waste anymore time and resources on people who do that. I tell people all the time, if I tell you something that comes off as me thinking you’re an idiot it’s because someone actually needed to be told this. It’s not you.
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I feel like with what I do commuting is possible but again, the ideal is you live very close to the area you cover. Especially in a smaller town where you’re going to have to get to know the community quickly. I can think of two reporter positions I applied to where they specifically mentioned that they’d want me to live within a 30-ish minute drive of the community I’d primarily cover.
Standard office job, yeah, I’d imagine it’s no big deal to have a 60 to 90+ minute commute, not the ideal but not something where it’d be as much of a drawback.
The assumption here seemed to be that I’d move, and I was very open that I’d be willing to do so. There was some other general weirdness with this specific interview beyond that but that was just kind of the icing on the weird cake.
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In the summer I see men running without shirts in short shorts all the time! I personally would worry about sunburn so I tend to wear boring running clothes, but I’ve never seen a man get harassed or catcalled in the way I sometimes see women wearing short shorts and a sports bra. So there is definitely a double standard.
I too am surprised about the question re: the “boyfriend.” Isn’t that making an assumption about the applicant’s sexuality, too, heck even possible family planning? Seems like an EEOC can of worms, and I’d be shocked if I was asked, regardless of industry.
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I was suprised by it, too.
I’ve been on several hiring committees, and HR would have had a conniption about such a question.
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That was exactly my thinking at the time and still my thinking now regardless of how others try to explain it 
(and I can understand the explanations some are trying to make re. it being an understandable broad question but there’s a way to ask it).
My point was more, “meanwhile, as sexist as men can be, it was a woman who asked me this, so yup, I can think of at least one IRL example of a woman spewing misogynistic stuff probably without being wholly aware of it.”
It was a position where I’d be doing general assignment work for a trio of small weeklies that were all within three suburbs of this city (max distance between communities was maybe 20 minutes or so, IDK, they were close together) that I think was owned by one of those hedge funds draining journalism dry, circa 2018, was literally my first interview for a real-world journalism gig. Editor was probably around my own mother’s age, give or take maybe 5 years. Again this was something where the expectation would absolutely have been relocation had I gotten an offer (which I thankfully didn’t). I was thinking even back then, “man I’d love to hear her ask this exact question in these exact words, of, IDK the kind of LGBTQ+ person with a mind to sue for discrimination.”
I’d be surprised if there WAS an HR per se. I’m sure somewhere in the corporate conglomerate that owned the place there was but right there in the newsroom on the daily, doubtful. Lot of the small town places I’ve applied at you’re interviewed by the editor or by the editor and publisher as a duo. I can think of maybe one or two times where I had maybe a phone interview with an HR person.
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In all my varied jobs I’ve never been interviewed by HR. I get sent there for paper work after the job offer if HR exists, or to payroll in the old days
The hiring committees I’ve been on met with HR to go over what sort of interview questions were permissible and which were off limits.
They were very clear on avoiding certain topics.
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Has anyone other than the OP had a similar sexual harassment problem specifically with barn staff? Most occurrences seem to go the other way, meaning owner or trainer doing the harassing.
My barn did have one situation with a woman boarder on a high school girl employee.
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Yes, a friend of mine was repeatedly hit on by one of the barn staff. She told him several times that she wasn’t interested. Escalated to her telling him that she had a boyfriend… Finally boyfriend, who was the Shoer, inserted himself at her request, and that took care of it.
It is really disappointing that her words were not enough. And she really did use her words…It took “ownership/being claimed” by another man to get the message across.
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Happens all the time. I’m an introvert with resting bitch face. So I have no problem ignoring people or coming off as rude. I don’t want you to talk to me so I make it clear.
People like the OP aren’t like that. It’s great she spoke out and spoke up. So many people can read this thread and realize unwanted attention or unwanted ways of interacting are not okay.
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Same here however, due to this I would get the “you should smile more” unsolicited comments from male strangers in stores and even walking down the street. Let’s just say that didn’t get a smile.
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