I hesitate to even share this story because of the extreme insignificance compared to all of the other stories, but I accidentally boiled my fish to death once and it was the most horrible feeling in the world. I have witnessed the deaths of horses, dogs and other animals and nothing compared to this one for some reason. I was huddled in a ball on the couch sobbing hysterically for an hour. I guess my point is, any animal death is horrible but when it is something that was preventable it is a whole other kind of grief. Iām so sorry you had to go through this.
2 Likes
RodeoHunter, your fish was not insignificant, especially not to YOU, and therefore, not to us.
7 Likes
[QUOTE=RodeoHunter;5996209]
I hesitate to even share this story because of the extreme insignificance compared to all of the other stories, but I accidentally boiled my fish to death once and it was the most horrible feeling in the world. I have witnessed the deaths of horses, dogs and other animals and nothing compared to this one for some reason. I was huddled in a ball on the couch sobbing hysterically for an hour. I guess my point is, any animal death is horrible but when it is something that was preventable it is a whole other kind of grief. Iām so sorry you had to go through this.[/QUOTE]
RodeoHunter, I did this too when I was a young teenager. I cleaned out my Bettaās tank and put warm water in, not realizing what room temperature water really was. Put the fish in and it was horrible! So, youāre not the only one. :no:
2 Likes
RodeoHunter. My dad boiled my sisterās fish once on accident. The light bulb went out while she was out of town, and he couldnāt find the right size bulb in the house so he put a 60 watt bulb in the hood. It was only a one gallon little Betta tank.
He felt so bad when he found what happened, and hasnāt forgiven himself to this day.
When I was a teenager, we had a stray cat that had adopted our house. It was cold outside so my parents let her inside. My sister started the dryer without looking inside first and that poor cat died what had to have been a horrible death. Nobody could hear her in the dryer as the laundry room is at the end of the house away from the living room. We all felt so bad for the poor stray cat just trying to find a warm place to stay on a cold night.
Oh wow, thanks guys, good to know Iām not alone. I was also cleaning my Betaās tank and had a bucket of cold water to dump him in, and beside it a bucket of boiling water. I dumped him in the wrong bucket. 
shireluver, thatās horribleā¦I have heard a few similar stories about cats in dryers.
Even though I have been through others that I felt guilty over, this was far more difficultā¦
I had my gray 8 y.o. cat since she was a kitten. She was the type that would follow you anywhere, she wanted to be near me. We had moved to another farm, living there about 8 months. We had always had some cats that were allowed outdoors, though never overnight. I remember my husband BBQing next to the door, and that she was shy about coming in. Later, I saw her sitting on the railing, she might have even scratched at the window screenā¦ I donāt know why I didnāt let her in. I donā t know how I forgot. That night, while asleep, I thought I heard screaming. I never woke up, though. She was gone, and for two weeks I searched through brush and woods. I found her body, closer to the house than I imagined, sheād been eaten. To this day I donāt know what killed her, or when she died, or the remote possibility she was only injured and I couldnāt get to her-or that she was trying to get to me. I donāt know why I hadnāt woken up. Iāve always lived on a farm, somehow never had a cat killed like this, and now all mine are always indoors.
Anotherā¦ just last year, we went out on a trail ride. Iād had my 11y.o. dog since was a puppy. She spent a lifetime following us on trails and camping. This was summer, but a mild day. We were in a group, but adjusted our pace for our dog. I looked back and she wasnā t there. I found her collapsed on the trail. My husband carried her back. She didnāt improve and lasted only days before euthanasia. Xrays showed fluid in her chest. There was very little treatment, and I still wonder what a necropsy mightāve said. I agonize over her trying to keep up with us so stoically.
[QUOTE=TBPNW;5996363]
Anotherā¦ just last year, we went out on a trail ride. Iād had my 11y.o. dog since was a puppy. She spent a lifetime following us on trails and camping. This was summer, but a mild day. We were in a group, but adjusted our pace for our dog. I looked back and she wasnā t there. I found her collapsed on the trail. My husband carried her back. She didnāt improve and lasted only days before euthanasia. Xrays showed fluid in her chest. There was very little treatment, and I still wonder what a necropsy mightāve said. I agonize over her trying to keep up with us so stoically.[/QUOTE]
She was doing something she loved and doing it because she loved you. Iām sure, for that, she died happy. :sadsmile:
Awww I am so sorry. 
This really hit home with me because it happened to me also. I killed my whole tank when the submersible heater malfunctioned. I came home to water over 100 degrees and all my fancy coldwater goldfish were dead. Their tank was in an empty room at the back of the house so I needed the heater to maintain the water at about 65 degrees, which was perfect breeding temp. That was in the day before submersible heaters had safety cut offs. Just like you I was absolutely sick. For days I was so depressed and guilty. That was 15 years ago and I still feel awful about it. :no:
I have taken goldfish to the vet before to be euthanized with an injection into their lateral line. It is painless and fast, the same as for any animal. But one time I had a female Beta that got sick and I was unable to fix her. She deteriorated over the span of a couple of weeks and I called the vet to see if I could bring her in for an injection. They told me that they could not euthanize a fish that tiny. They said to put her in a cup of water in the freezer and she would slowly die as the temperature fell. I agonized over this for the longest time before deciding I had to do it. She was suffering and emaciated and hadnāt eaten a bite in 2 weeks. I didnāt have another way to euthanize her. So I put her in the cup in the freezer and I was a complete wreck. Just knowing that fish was in there freezing to death. My god it was almost more than I could handle.
I have also lost a rabbit because I failed to notice the problem he had. That one was also horrible and still haunts me.
Sometimes this stuff makes me not want to have any animals at all.
Stuff like this makes me more patient and forgiving of other peopleā¦
We also lost a tank of fish, some sort of chemical balance that we mistreated. We never had fish again we felt so bad.
[QUOTE=Auventera Two;5996746]
Awww I am so sorry. This really hit home with me because it happened to me also. I killed my whole tank when the submersible heater malfunctioned. I came home to water over 100 degrees and all my fancy coldwater goldfish were dead. Their tank was in an empty room at the back of the house so I needed the heater to maintain the water at about 65 degrees, which was perfect breeding temp. That was in the day before submersible heaters had safety cut offs. Just like you I was absolutely sick. For days I was so depressed and guilty. That was 15 years ago and I still feel awful about it. :no:
I have taken goldfish to the vet before to be euthanized with an injection into their lateral line. It is painless and fast, the same as for any animal. But one time I had a female Beta that got sick and I was unable to fix her. She deteriorated over the span of a couple of weeks and I called the vet to see if I could bring her in for an injection. They told me that they could not euthanize a fish that tiny. They said to put her in a cup of water in the freezer and she would slowly die as the temperature fell. I agonized over this for the longest time before deciding I had to do it. She was suffering and emaciated and hadnāt eaten a bite in 2 weeks. I didnāt have another way to euthanize her. So I put her in the cup in the freezer and I was a complete wreck. Just knowing that fish was in there freezing to death. My god it was almost more than I could handle.
I have also lost a rabbit because I failed to notice the problem he had. That one was also horrible and still haunts me.
Sometimes this stuff makes me not want to have any animals at all.[/QUOTE]
Oh, that is so sad! Both stories. I guess one thing I did learn that would have helped you is that the boiling water route is much quicker than the freezing. It was over in about 3 seconds.
I also havenāt had a fish since but I do agree with what everyone has recommended to Sunlight_Patch about thinking about getting another animal to help with the healing process. The loss of a cat or dog leaves a huge void.
I rescue cats as a āhobbyā and have had a lot of unfortunate loss. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do and it was just the animals time to go to heaven.
But there was this one kitten my husband and I had found dumped on the side of the road while trail riding. We were still miles from the horse trailer, so I carried the kitten in my hand the entire ride back on horseback!! The little thing purred the entire ride, so grateful I had picked him up and showed him love. We eventually got back and I put the kitten in the truck, loose, while we unsaddled. Hubby went in the truck for something and did not know kitty was in there so kitty tried to jump out to come to me right as the door got closedā¦
I forgave hubby and knew that at least he (kitty) didnāt suffer much, and he is now sitting on Gods lap purring. We were grief stricken though after all I had gone through to bring him home.
Maybe you need a rebound cat?
In June the feline love of my life was diagnosed with fibrosarcoma. Despite surgery, the cancer returned and I had to put her to sleep in October. She was really my constant companion and love- and you could tell she loved me as much as I loved her. After my husband and I split up in February- she was my comfort. Iām still mourning her death.
One thing that I think really helped was the semi-feral kittens that I was fostering about the same time I had to put her to sleep. The last kitten, this little buff yellow thing, was a bit difficult to tame- he was caught later than the rest and took a little more convincing. He was good to have around to comfort and cheer me and my other cat while we really missed Doughy. He found a great home. And now, what is still helping me a bit is the feral cat in my (walk-in semi-finished) basement. I finally trapped her at the end of October and she has really come around. She is now fixed and vaccinated, but also now enjoys some attention and rubs on me a lot despite not wanting to be patted. She is almost ready to find a new home.
Doing good things for other kitties has helped me come to terms with Doughyās death, and move on a little. I still really miss her, so so much, but I get some comfort out of my successes with the ferals.
My beloved karelian bear dog George had a tumor in his sinus cavity that invaded his brain.
Despite growing up around all our cats since he was wee, one morning I woke up to hear my mom screaming- dog had bitten the head of our new kitten (Miss Kitty Fantastico) who had tried to investigate his food.
Kitten died about an hour later, and we put dear dog to sleep that afternoon, clearly he was no longer himself.
The night before my friends had been over for dinner with their 2 year old- she had played with the dog and in his food dish. I shudder to think of what could have been.
I STILL get chills when my mother uses a certain tone or calls my name in the wrong way.
We cremated the two together, and if you didnāt know, the vet gives you the ashes in a solid colored gift bag. Smart people then scatter the ashes, or something. Iām not so smart, I put them in a closet. Now, periodically I come across the gift bag and think āOh look! An unopened gift! What could it be?ā
Followed shortly by āOh crap.ā
(I hope that gives you a chuckleā¦)
Reading these heart rending outpourings of grief, while causing tears to course down my face, it is strangely cleansing, a real cathartic experience.
I wonder, does it matter, in degrees of pain, how the beloved pet died? About 5 years ago I got the prettiest brown tabby kitten the world has ever seen. (Indulge me here!) He was perfect in every way, conformation, color, looked like God had really taken his time designing this boy. I had him neutered and vaccinated, wormed and all that, he was healthy and such a dear. Wonderful disposition, got along great with the older cats. Then, at about 7 1/2 months old, his abdomen started to look swollen. In no time it grew huge. Tragically, he had FIP, Feline Infectious Peritonitis. No cure, no vaccine.
He died in our arms at just under a year old. I donāt think I have ever cried harder over the loss of an animal as I did this one. We had lost, of course, over many years, the old worn out souls, ones who just came to their ends naturally, but losing this darling just killed me. For over a year, every time I thought of him, Iād cry for hours as if itād just happened.
So, I guess Iām thinking that maybe itās the young ones, the way-before-their-time deaths that are most devastating, whether it was from a horrific freak accident, one caused by a moment of inattention of its owner, or by some dread disease there is no vaccine, practical prevention, or cure. Itās the helplessness we feel when these things happen, the unfairness that we couldnāt prevent the event that is the hardest to reconcile.
It took me fully four plus years before I could get another kitten after losing my little Woodlandā¦ we still had/have the two older cats, and I now have a sweet Maine Coon, but I still cannot get over losing that brown tabby baby. ACK, Iām out of tissueā¦ gotta go find some.
Well, sobbing over this &(%$(@& thread this messed up my contacts for the dayā¦ Pets are hard.
My brother killed my cat- ran him over to be exact. Shadow was about 18 years old and the only one of my cats that was allowed out of the house. I think he probably was at least partially deaf and didnāt know to get up when my brother started up his car, nor do I think my brother knew the cat was slepping under the car. Nothing quite like a trip to the emergency vet clinic on the fourth of July. There was nothing they could do for him, as the x-ray showed a fractured skull. Not the peaceful way I wanted this treasured friend and faithful companion of mine to go. I still feel traumatized by what happened and that was over seven years agoā¦
Oddly enough, I had just brought home the day before Shadow died, a new kitten. I think in some ways, he was meant to be Shadowās replacement. Junior is a great joy to me and in many ways, the same personality of Shadow, very loving, affectionate, cuddly type of cat.
I almost lost Junior this past summer because I didnāt realize he was sick until it was almost too late. My vet clinic told me to immediately go to the specialty animal hospital if I had any hope of trying to save him after they saw his blood test results. I am in tears now just thinking about it. Luckily, Junior has had a complete recovery from his bout of hepatic lipidosis and is doing great, but I still feel very guilty I didnāt realize how sick he was sooner. I also continue to watch his food intake like a hawk and am constantly looking for any signs of relapse.
I am so sorry for everyoneās losses. Forgiveness is a very powerful thingā¦
To the OP (and anyone else):
http://www.vet.upenn.edu/SpecialtyCareServices/GriefCounseling/tabid/1829/Default.aspx
Michele is great and Iām sure would be able to help you find resources in your community, if needed.
I donāt think you can say that it hurts any more or any less. The pain of loss will always be there. But I do think that there is something to be said about the toll it takes on you, as the pet owner, if there was any question that something in the trajectory could have been changedā¦could something have happened differently? Could I have done X? What if ā¦? It is the uncertainty that takes its toll on us.
Having studied human-animal relationships in both an academic and experiential way (my Masters thesis at Duke had the euphonious title āThe Determinants and Consequences of the Human-Companion Animal Relationshipā and Ph.D. thesis dealt with same), I am convinced that guilt can be a major factor in coping with the death of a companion animal.
I think shock can play a role too, and losing a younger animal and/or losing one in a very unexpected way, also can prolong and intensify the grief.
Guilt is a very powerful emotion and one that can be difficult to deal with. Guilt can be overwhelming in relation to a companion animal, as we are not only the caregivers of our animal companions, but may feel responsible for their entire physical and social world, so it should not surprise us that we may feel guilty if we feel or suspect that our actions or omissions have somehow contributed to the horrible loss of our beloved companion.
What puzzles me more than why it happens is why some people seem to lack this sense altogether!
This thread has brought me a lot of comfort, and I appreciate everyone sharing their stories. My husband has read this thread as well. I donāt think either of us realized how many people have (unfortunately) known a similar pain.
Iāve thought a lot about previous postersā suggestion that sharing the details helps take away some of their awfulness. It really was the most random and freak of accidents. My husband went to unload his 9mm that we kept in the bedroomā¦it went off. My sweet girl was hiding under the bed, as she usually did, and the bullet went through the mattress. If there is anything to be thankful for in the situation, it is that it was quick and she had no awareness of what happenedā¦took no more than just a minute. Therapy has been helping the two of us with the aftershock of it all - for my husband, coping with what he saw. For me, coping with loud noises, as well as the reality that either of us couldāve been killed instead. I was downstairs at the time, and it had just sounded like a bookshelf fell overā¦although after I called my husbandās name and didnāt hear anything for a few seconds (he was in shock that it went off), I realized it was the gun and started to panic, thinking heād hurt himself. It was the most awful moment of my life, and of his.
There are multiple ironies in the story. Heād only gotten it because of a string of multiple robberies in our neighborhood. He was experienced and regularly went to the range to practice. He was only unloading it because that night heād decided it was best not to keep it loaded. She hid under the bed sometimes to stay safe. And on and on and on.
I have been considering another kitty. Maybe not right away, but at some point. One of our local rescues holds adoption events on the weekends at a nearby pet store. I went, and was surprised to find a tiny kitten who looked almost exactly like my girl, same markings and everything (just younger - my girl was about 8). I think the rescue staff thought I was nuts - I burst into tears, and asked to hold her. She was precious and snuggled up against my chest and purred. Even if I donāt end up getting her - I want to think that through and not make such an impulse decision! - it was almost as if I got to hold my girl for a few moments. I still miss her every day.
I appreciate the kindness that has been shown in this thread in response to everyoneās stories. It does make me anxious to share the details of what happened with us, but I hope the same kindness can be shown for our story.
1 Like
