Indeed.
I must mention that back in grade school (I’m talking the 1960’s) in small-town Ontario, calling someone ‘ignorant’ was the height of insult. It meant rude. Very rude. Crude, even. So I suppose un-mannerly by way of not knowing how to properly behave?
Interesting. My students are also rural/ small town. I grew up in a reasonably affluent suburb in the 1960s. If people were mean or rude they were very clearly deliberate.
I wonder if the word has more punch as an insult where the demographics take in folks who are more backwoodsy or trailer park?
You could certainly get teased in grade school for not knowing some fact important in Kid World, of course.
OP, what does the ideal solution look like to you? What parts of your behavior are you willing to change?
Then pull boarder aside and Have The Conversation. I swear it won’t be as bad as you probably fear it will be. [INDENT]Hi Sally, I need to have a kinda difficult conversation with you. I feel there’s a negative tension when we interact and I’d like to have a more positive relationship with you. We don’t have to be friends, but in this barn everyone needs to feel respected and comfortable, and right now I don’t feel that way. I’m not sure you do either.
When you do [fill in the blank], it comes across as you’re angry at me or something I’ve done. If that’s the case, I’d like to discuss what it is, and see if it’s something we can fix. When I’m giving you information about your horse, it’s because I think it’s important information for you to have. So when you repeatedly walk away and decline to respond, I can’t tell if you’ve actually heard/understand the information, but also it feels disrespectful to me.
For this to work, we’ve got to find a different way to interact. both you AND I and the other boarders need to feel comfortable and respected here. All of this is really uncomfortable to say but I’m doing it because I want your help on getting there.
So what’s your take on what’s going on, and how do you think we get to a better place? [and sit back and listen][/INDENT]
And then decide if you can make the changes she wants you to make, if she’s willing to make the changes you want her to make, and make your choice to continue or give notice.
These conversations are really, really really not as hard as we fear they’ll be. And such a relief to just confront and work on a solution vs. doing what you’re doing now. Good luck!!!
Think there’s a difference dealing with this type person, for whatever reason, in an office, classroom or social setting and dealing with them when you are a paid service provider and they are your client or you both are paying clients of a service provider ( barn mates).
In other words, you can be more private and less a team player during your own time at the barn then would be desirable at work. No idea about this OP and client but perhaps a bit more communication between them would be helpful so OP can better serve her paying client, who may simply wish to be left alone during her barn time with her horse.
Still waiting for OP to return and clarify 😂 I’ve seen all of the above, so I’m curious now about which one boarder is.
The OP has been around (logged in), so it seems weird that they are not coming to their thread and answering the questions to clarify.
Unless the unfriendly boarder has taken control of the OP’s account and something far more sinister than we suspected is going on. cue spooky music “She didn’t seem friendly. But was very quiet.”
Everyone is assuming that in the absence of details from the OP, their own experience must be what OP is experiencing.
Without examples of the behavior that is annoying OP, there is no way to address it. OP presented the behavior only in the context of OP’s own characterizations, without any specifics of what was said, when, where and why.
It may be that the OP is the one who is misinterpreting. No specifics to sort that out.
I wonder if the boarder thinks there is anything wrong with the communication? And if so, what?
Yes, but this is the case in every single conflict in our lives. We see things one way, they see it another. Because ultimately there’s no point in convincing the other one that you’re right. Just need to say ok, here’s what the solution looks like, and how can we get there?
f Rude Boarder jumped on here and filled in their side of the story, we’d be no closer to the truth, and the resolution looks exactly the same. Figure out a solution and how to get there, or part ways.
From what I have seen, that describes pretty much every thread on these forums.
Everywhere… all forums, all social media. That is life really.
Said boarder has been given notice to leave.
Well, all right. I suppose we’ll remain ignorant of any relevant information.
My that escalated…
I shudder to think of how many barns I might have been told to leave if keeping to myself had been the sole criteria for eviction! Hoping there was more to the story (left to our imagination, now?)
That escalated quickly! OP, can you provide anymore details posters asked? To clarify?
LOL.
Ok, anyone has any experience dealing with very unfriendly posters, how did you deal with it? Said poster follows the forum rules so no issues there, they are just extremely unpleasant in all other dealings. Ignorant, sometimes won’t even respond to you when you are speaking to them regarding their post etc.
Ok ok, just having some fun with how this post went. Honestly, why ask for advice if even the most basic clarifying questions will be ignored? Responders were doing their best to help, but they were responding to what they imagined the story was since OP went silent.
And then… mysteriously went un-silent with a cryptic escalation and again zero context.
Must have been more a vent than a question to be answered post.
Giving too much details could have been potentially damaging to the OP.
At least, there is a resolution. 
Yup, sometimes sharing dealings with clients on here is like lighting a fuse and it’s always inappropriate in a business sense.
Obviously details were not shared to keep private and there was much more then shared. Good move by OP. Bad for all us inquiring minds.
I have a hearing impairment and I often don’t hear what is being said to me, or I only hear part of it and have a somewhat disconnected response. I am sure there have been times when others have thought I was being rude when I didn’t respond at all or had a inappropriate response.
Sheilah
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