chantershelper i have been thinking a lot since my last post –
as regards to your arguement –
now if you are a normal person which you are then the stress of moving is
normal say 100 % equals 85% to a normal bod
now chnater has issues with her brain everyone thinks shes unstable which judging by her psots shes does get her point across- so says hers is 70%
now think this – you moved strsseful – she moved but had other stresses on top which we all know about— but the arguement kinda suck in my mind
as idont know what itwas about icant say for sure so iam going to do a a series of sernerios – which one is closes to the turth only you can tell but think of consegunces - i say this becuase i understand more than most
what could be presecieve as normal when in fact it isnt –
so –
1— words to words – people normal say get knoted
2–shouting and screaming-- doesnt resolve but makes you feel uptight
3-- waving arms about shounting and screaming — can be presecieve as a fret—
4- shouting screaming waving arms about with a whip in hand—
can be presiceive as a fret—
in each case - one would walk away and not talk to you
but if you came from aplace that frehteing you and hit you then you would think here we go again— would you not –
isay this becuase – in normal circumstances a perosn shouting screaming and waving a whip about --in an arguement – would say wtf -------on planet do you come from and either shout back or full blown fisty cuffs
as it heated and heated
the thing is you are all stressed out for different reasons-- and in normal perosn when moving takes a while for things to settle down and go into a rountine of mundane things – just like when ahorse settles into nerw enviroment which all of yours have including chanter and her lot
but chanter has had other stresses and strains and being safe–
so would take longer – i know what being safe is when one has been abused – i have both mentally and pysically – time – and patience
but time is the most important one
everyone including me had a go but then ithougtht what about if iwas inher psotion your psotion your dh position-- its not about authorites
its about personalities – you have – you ,dh - ( and family if you havetehm) plus dogs and horses – your and hers–new place new things new shops – new house - new --its all new
and in this newness you have aceepted another – person – and all those personalties it will be rocky to begin with becuse no one knows what the other hand is doing–as ther is heaps of persoanities on top
what i surgest – is a peice offering – a appology from both from all
as i said before head banging to gether
and think this to shouting and argueing doesnt get anyone anything but hardship – so big mug of tea-- she might not be talking to you but she can read-- if shes got a self contain flat or wahtever then -
1 chat to dh— and just cool it for a while – llet chanter come round in her own time — trust isnt there –
yet and thats what everbody has fogotten–
chanter cant trust as she was avitim of abuse and anything thats scary
as in argueing shouting waving arms or whips she will see that as a fret
and so not to upset nor talk shes walked away and shuned herself
becuase she cant deal with it alll on top off everthing esle
shes fighting to keep her diginty same as you said privicy and dignity
but shes come from a abusive sitiation – its not easy for her to come to terms with that shes safe – if an arguement shes see that as a fret i bet
so what she do-- she shout her mouth off bb – not thinking that it upsets people becuase no body understands her properly
give her a chance to come out of her shell-- and to build trust with people she doesnt know – is hard for her at the moement
). Dogs to help the hearing impaired are frequently small (but frequently barkybarkybarky and bouncy and exuberant), and sometimes family pets end up falling into the role of service dog, even though they were never formally trained or placed by one of the “official” service dog organizations.
