That means dating now is like finding a job: knowing people who know you are looking, who might give you a recommendation.
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This sounds like an advantage, rather than a drawback. Presumably, you aren’t looking for 100 people, you’re looking for 1.
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@Alterration True, but the apps don’t cost $5k+ 
I guess you get what you pay for though.
Non-monogamy is HUGE right now. Many people in open relationships, it’s a whole lifestyle. How people do that is beyond me, however.
I’ll be honest and risk getting criticized again but I’ve dated a number of women I wasn’t physically attracted to and it was a nightmare. I was really unhappy/unfulfilled, people would comment on why I was with that person, I knew I wasn’t really into them, etc. I have to be physically attracted to a woman to date her no matter how great our chemistry is. If that makes me shallow or an asshole, then so be it.
@aregard It is very much like a job at this point, yes. I have dropped the hint to several people and it’s always the same, “Sorry you’re having such a hard time. If I think of someone for you, I’ll let you know.” And then nothing ever happens.
That is one way to look at it but it’s also like looking for a needle in a haystack 
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I wasn’t suggesting that - but rather to try meeting in person rather than relying on a picture. Pictures are hard because they don’t always convey chemistry well. Sometimes it’s one way (they look better in photos than the other) sometimes it’s the opposite (one is surprised by chemistry you didn’t expect).
That’s all! Not saying you should continue to date someone you don’t have chemistry with.
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This is very true.
With that said though I’ve never had a type. All the guys I’ve been with, aesthetically, are WILDLY different from one another.
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Absolutely agree with you on this, my mistake for misunderstanding.
I’m certainly eager and open to meeting in person because, as you eluded to, pictures can be sketchy and I wouldn’t want to be judged based off a picture. But such cases are usually when I’m “on the fence” about how I think a person looks but we get along well in terms of communication. I’ll make it a point to give them a chance in person before saying yes or no.
This was actually one of the women I briefly dated earlier in the year off Bumble. I didn’t think she was that attractive in her photos but we got along so well in terms of communication/personalities, and she was actually more attractive in person. Unfortunately, she was wanting marriage/kids ASAP and had no desire to put it off any longer.
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Serious question - how do you find this out? Did she just straight tell you “I want to be married and start having kids in the next x time?”
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And what kind of person is that… “I want to get married and have kids with someone I barely know!”
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The topic of marriage came up since both our families are pressuring us to get married/have kids. She said it was something she wanted to have happen before the end of the year. This was after date #2.
When I told her that at least kids wasn’t something I’m looking to have within the next few years, she said we’re clearly not looking for the same things and we parted ways.
Don’t even know the girl’s last name
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Now that’s a bullet dodged. Sounds like she needs a sperm donor, not a relationship.
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She was 31 so I somewhat understand her haste but it was a very bizarre interaction. I suspect most women in their 30s aren’t keen on waiting 3+ years to have kids so I’m in a bit of a bad spot with age demographics.
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That is fast despite the challenges that women can have with fertility into their 30s. I’ll admit, my husband and I’s first couple of real dates got into some weird lines of questioning - I passed his tests because I liked tomatoes and mushrooms and disliked debt, and he passed my tests because he worked, he was funny, kind to the waitress (that’s always key), enjoyed bruschetta and other foods, and talked about exploration and travel. Oh, and didn’t have any blatant red flags like racism etc. that would put me right off. But we definitely didn’t discuss kids right away. I think I’d have been surprised as well.
But I didn’t have a checklist, and my clock wasn’t ticking.
No worries! I just wanted to be clear - because sometimes people do rule people out based on pictures and I always wanted to say “oh don’t do that! that’s just not how that works!” 
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That’s the bind that I’m in and what I was eluding to earlier about wishing I had found someone many years ago. I’m likely to really only get women around my age which means marriage/kids soon which isn’t something I want so truthfully, I’m not sure how to proceed. I feel like a compromise needs to be made by someone at some point: either me marrying/having kids sooner than I’d like or her waiting for that later than she’d like. Neither is really ideal unfortunately.
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Yeah, that’s the age range. Mid 30s in considered a “geriatric pregnancy,” so women over 30 that want kids might be feeling that pressure. I know I went through a year or so when I was thinking that if I wanted kids, I had a limited time frame to meet the right guy and get serious. I just didn’t meet the right guy in that time frame, and wasn’t going to risk bringing a kid into the world without being in an established relationship. 2 decades later, I’m glad I don’t have dependents.
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My DH got this a LOT. At least the women he had dates with were very forthcoming and seemingly looking to check boxes and didn’t really care with who. It would routinely come up first tor second date. So would acceptable engagement rings.
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Glad to hear I’m not the only one 
You unfortunately, are not! 
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How disgustingly desperate. “I’ll settle for anyone who can impregnate me”. Ew.
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I asked a friend how he had ended up with his first wife. He was great and down to Earth and she was the opposite.
He said they married because they both wanted kids. Once that happened and they were teenagers their marriage didn’t last.
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We should be friends! I’m not super into futbol or football anymore (and if I were, it would be Real Madrid (I lived a block from their stadium and I love the city of Madrid way more than Barcelona but have also spent more time in Madrid). And also the Baltimore Ravens because I am a home girl)
I also like reading and cooking and am not extroverted - though I am the kind of introvert who will talk your ear off if I like you and think you’re interested in hearing me talk!
So yeah, go O’s! And horses and reading and cooking, lol!
More.to OP’s comments. I’m short, but not small. I got lucky that I met my current boyfriend when I was at my biggest and he liked me anyway. And that gave me a lot of confidence too.
But people have preferences and that’s okay. And I think everyone wants to be someone who finds them attractive. So OP having opinions isn’t bad. He might be missing out on a lot of potential partners, but if he’s not attracted to them, he’s not attracted to them
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