No kidding. Just be present and straight and male at a horse show. Done. Lol.
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DH wore an EMT/RESCUE t-shirt. Scrubs would work too!
It took awhile for hubby to figure out his charms. He kept asking my "why do so many women keep coming in looking for for bandaids. . . 
I left him in the dark as long as possible.
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I would think anything that had a first responder logo on it would be a magnet! Sam, can you join the local volunteer fire department?
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Dustin Hoffman, discussing his thoughts when he agreed to play a woman in Tootsie:
“If you were born a woman, how would you be different?” Hoffman tells AFI he asked himself when preparing for “Tootsie,” adding that he only agreed to take on the role if he could actually pass as a woman.
But after all of the hair and makeup, Hoffman says “I was shocked that I wasn’t more attractive.”
“I said, 'now that you have me looking like a woman, make me a beautiful woman,” Hoffman recalls. “If I was going to be a woman, I’d want to be as beautiful as possible. And they told me, ‘that’s as good as it gets, that’s as beautiful as we can get you.’”
And that’s when it hit him:
It was at that moment I had an epiphany, and I went home and started crying. Talking to my wife, I said I have to make this picture, and she said, “Why?” And I said, “Because I think I am an interesting woman when I look at myself on screen. And I know that if I met myself at a party, I would never talk to that character because she doesn’t fulfill physically the demands that we’re brought up to think women have to have in order to ask them out.” She says, “What are you saying?” And I said, “There’s too many interesting women I have…not had the experience to know in this life because I have been brainwashed.”
Several clips of this online, but something to think about. here’s one. https://www.businessinsider.com/dustin-hoffman-cries-talking-about-female-beauty-2013-7
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I love this story but I was also initially confused (and then laughed at myself about the confusion) because of what “canoeing” means on COTH.
You mean actual real canoeing, with a canoe and a body of water. Got it. 
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I giggled writing it, for sure!
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I drove my Mom’s car this afternoon. Her car doesn’t have satellite radio. I don’t know who I was listening to when I turned the radio on, but it was two women talking about dating and dating apps. According to one of them, when a man talks about fitness and working out at the gym, it can be viewed as a risk for “toxic masculinity” and such men should be avoided. It makes no sense to me, but that’s what the woman said.
@centaursam, have you ever tried “It’s Just Lunch?” I heard an ad for them on the radio the other day. They say their target market is “busy professionals.”
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Thank you all for the great stories and advice. I’ll seriously look into volunteering at horse shows. Definitely an oversight on my part with regards to meeting women that I should have tried long ago.
Regarding my location, I should have tried that when I was in Colorado Springs last week! I have a love/hate relationship with LA but every time I travel and then come back, I feel incredibly out of place. But I’m stuck here for the foreseeable future, mainly due to work.
@NoSuchPerson Honestly, a lot here in LA is considered “toxic masculinity” so it’s hard not to trigger that. Maybe all my cowboy pictures are toxic for all I know
I looked into “It’s Just Lunch” and they got MANY bad reviews and the amount of dates they set you up on is very low.
@Djones That’s an awesome story and an awesome picture! There is no substitute for meeting in person. And vintage Broncos are amazing!
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DD17’s has a friend living in the midwest. Friend’s English riding trainer somehow lucked into hosting a cis male18yo exchange student from the Netherlands who had jumped GP in Europe & had deployed him on their IEA team to utterly destroy the competition. Said guy was very modest and described his experience as he “rode at home”.
Granted, I understand you’re looking for someone over 18 and all. Just saying that it is theoretically possible that the guy who “also rides” can really ride.
ETA: I’m now closer to 50 than I am 40. The men aren’t competing against against each other anymore – that 6’, 6", 6 figures that men seem to think all women want. They’re competing against my peace being alone.
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I don’t know if this anecdote fits here as it was a woman.
She was on an early morning show and she had her check-list.
Something like he had to be:-
tall
Dark
Handsome
Have a good sense of humour
Have a job
Be good with money
Have no baggage
Not be on social media
Not be on dating apps.
The guy on the program said her checklist was impossible. That guy didn’t exist.
About 10 minutes later it hit me. That was my Husband when I met him. I was his first girlfriend, he was in his 40’s and is 11 years older than me.
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I think in person it’s very much possible to find a certain type/individual that we like. I think the list above is definitely not impossible and the fact that you found someone that fits is proof. I’m assuming you were okay with dating someone that much older than you?
I know driving in the Los Angeles area can be a nightmare but I’d up the number of miles you are willing to drive. I think you may meet different types of people in a larger radius outside of Los Angeles.
I have a wonderful friend that lives near Los Angeles/Hollywood area. I enjoy driving in and our weekends are fun with great talk, fabulous restaurants, etc. but that world is so very different than mine 65 miles away. I am always so happy to get out of LA and back to a more rural world. As a note I grew up in Santa Monica so I understand how what you want is difficult to find where you are located.
You might try volunteering at western events such as gymkhanas, rodeos, etc. A cowgirl may have some of the attributes you seek. Don’t worry us cowgirls can dress up for black tie charity events with the best of them😁.
Good luck. I’ve enjoyed reading your comments.
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I love cowgirls! I just spent a week herding and branding cattle with them 
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This is a stupid list though. Why would being on social media or dating apps be disqualifying? Of course your husband was probably this guy because those things didn’t exist.
And ”handsome” and “no baggage” are subjective. “No baggage” - what does that even mean? No kids? No ex lovers? Why would ex lover be a disqualification? Unless there is an active paternity suit involved….i mean who cares? Everyone has a history. “Baggage” could be needy parents. Childhood trauma. Has dogs….I mean, it’s all some kind of baggage is it it? Or is it just a “life?”
So that leaves a tall person who has a job, is financially stable and has a sense of humor. Good lord I hope that’s not too much to ask!!
I don’t want tall. My SO and I were talking about dating apps last night. I met someone who was a big 6’3” or more and I’m a smallish 5’1”. It was one of my first thoughts when he walked in…ugh you’re just too big for me. Obviously it wouldn’t have been a deal breaker but there are definitely women who are not looking for tall. My SO is probably 5’ 8” or so. We’re well matched.
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OK admitted houseguest popping in for a quick weekend visit (a friend found this thread, thought I would find it hilarious, and I do, y’all are so funny!)
So, a few things: people lie on the internet like. All the time. Including on dating apps, unfortunately. That said, I think there’s also a kindof, “you don’t know what you don’t know” phenomenon happening when it comes to this particular occurrence as well: “Oh yeah I’m familiar with horses!” can, depending on one’s PoV, range from “my neighbor had a horse growing up and I visited it sometimes” to “I spend a solid 50 weekends out of the year at the barn.” I think for those of us who are very horsey, we tend to assume “Oh I can ride” to implicate a more heavily equestrian lifestyle than those with lives that don’t revolve around expensive quadrupeds.
Also, if I may, LA gets bashed on a lot and I’ve just gotta stick up for this city a little bit here:
There are a lot of people in LA. Of course there are those with unfortunate personalities, but there are so many really cool people as well. I really don’t like generalizations like, “oh everyone in LA is so shallow” because, sure there is that portion of the population, but there are so, so many genuine people too.
I really don’t like that generalization when it’s leveled specifically at women in LA. LA has many beautiful, hard working, nice, intelligent women: there is the entertainment industry here of course, but there’s also a lot of other industries as well, and the Girlboss vibes are strong here haha.
Re: the dating profile that’s being debated here, and some of the suggestions, if I may weigh in as someone in the broader LA metro area (who is a longtime equestrienne between 20 and 30): no one around here is driving very far to date. Traffic is consistently a nightmare. If you’re in Pasadena and you date someone in Venice for example, you’ll probably see them a couple times a month lol. The 10 is my (and many other individuals) least favorite freeway. Parking is also a nightmare pretty much everywhere, so the whole thing becomes a pain and staying home becomes much more appealing. Expanding a radius on an app probably won’t help very much here.
Also just, if I may, being in LA and taking improv classes and then stating that in a dating profile is… a choice. Which I would have thought the improv classes would, sortof, make apparent? Perhaps not. And the amount of “high value men” looking for a “loyal woman that isn’t a gold digger” at Westfield Topanga on any given Saturday is enough to keep Spotify in podcasts for the next decade 
. Imho, the grey suit could use a trip to the tailor (i’m gatekeeping mine so don’t ask), and in this city, knowing where the best matcha lattes are may just be more appealing to your targeted demographic than photos next to a plane that isn’t yours.
Best of luck, standard disclaimers apply [everything written here does not constitute advice, is intended for entertainment purposes only, and is worth precisely what you paid for it: zero point zero zero in dollars and any equivalent currency] may the Studio City parking meters be ever in your favor, and may your local Erewhon never run out of sea moss gel.
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Thanks for chiming in. Always happy to speak to a fellow LA person 
You described many of my incompatibility issues here though. Girlboss (at least the way I’ve seen it portrayed here) isn’t exactly what I’m looking for in a woman and I don’t drink coffee or tea so knowing where the best matcha lattes are is beyond me. I’ve never set foot in an Erewhon either
I don’t think all women here are shallow, I think many people are though, men and women. And yes, the driving is stupidly, unnecessarily horrid!
I’ve played around with my profile a lot and have included and excluded improv classes and it didn’t make a difference. I deleted my last app yesterday. I really think that unless I get some pictures of myself showing that I’m the life of the party, I don’t think I stand a chance.
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It’s possible that the poster who alluded upthread to your search area being a mismatch for you might be onto something Centaursam. Personally, I can think of few less interesting draws than where the best pricey lattes are found. Or meeting up with boss mentalities of any kind or gender.
If you make another trip to Colorado ranch country maybe try signing up there on a whim, even for a week. Anywhere you’re visiting actually. It’s another angle and you never know, sometimes the stars align in the strangest of ways.
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He did not look older than me. I didn’t date him because of the date range to start with. All our acquaintances pointed out he was nice and why wasn’t I dating him. I mentioned the date range and they were surprised he was that old.
We have been married for 24 years. Now I look 10 to 15 years younger than I am. I was born Ginger, I lost that and was strawberry blonde. Then it was brown and I seem to be getting darker and darker darker. Hubby is starting to get some Gray hair, which of course makes him look distinguished.
S1969 I probably didn’t remember the whole list it was 5 seconds on TV decade’s ago. Of course he would have baggage now because he has me.
Seems like you and I are cut from the same cloth I meet some incredible men and women whenever I go hunting, but that is 3.5hrs outside of LA unfortuantely.
Next time I’m way outside LA, I’ll download one of the apps and change my location and see what happens but it’ll be a while until then.
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My point is that whoever wrote that list was being ridiculous. If by “baggage” people mean no prior relationships, how does that help? Does that make them better at being in a relationship or worse…? I think most of us have learned about ourselves through prior relationships, which would seem to be a good thing.
I get not wanting to walk into a relationship with children, especially at the OP’s age, which would likely mean young kids. But not pursuing anyone who had ever been engaged, married or in a serious relationship would seemingly wipe out the majority of the pool of candidates.
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