Thank you Laurie. The amount of outright vile comments I’ve received from people for saying that is absolutely incredible.
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I think that’s gross too, so 
you’re allowed to be attracted to whatever you’re attracted to but (general) you don’t need to make comments about people of the opposite sex who show interest in you who don’t exactly meet those criteria. If he has just said he didn’t find them attractive, fine. But the weight comment is gross.
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The other comments aside, there may be a reason they do this ^.
You’ll find someone. The more you try to force it the worse it will get though. “The best things in life come sweet”.
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I’ve never thought much about height - DH and I are both 5’6" and wear the same size shoes. However, I never wanted to date a man who weighed less than me. Afraid I’d crush him, lol.
FWIW, I tried to get on eHarmony before I met DH. After their very lengthy questionnaire, the app said they did not think they could make a match for me…
15 years later, still wondering if I’m really that strange?
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I have no idea why weight is such a hot button issue. To me, this comment is no different than someone saying ‘I don’t date people with red hair’. Would you consider that gross too?
Throughout the course of this thread, centaursam has listened with a good amount of grace to everyone here critiquing pretty much everything about him (as seen in his profile.) Taking umbrage over the fact that he made a slightly critical comment about women that none of us know or will ever meet just seems silly to me.
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I’ve showed those conversations to MANY people (men and women) and I’ve yet received a reason as to why they vanish. I’m not some boring conversationalist, I love banter and I love genuinely getting to know someone. Honestly, I think these are all women who weren’t interested in the first place. They didn’t really reciprocate in terms of conversation and had very short replies to begin with. I only continued since I know it takes time for some women to open up.
I probably just have to delete all the apps and forget about all of this. Romantic relationships shouldn’t be this miserable 
@LaurieB Thank you for the support. No idea why weight is such a touchy subject but oh well, part of the world we live in I suppose.
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I didn’t take umbrage over it, I just made a mental note, and combined with a few other comments he’s made since I first glanced over the dating profile, it gave me the ick - that I personally got icked out by his comments is not relevant to him, since I am happily partnered, but now I wonder less about why he can’t find his dream woman. If I were in his age bracket and single, and chatting with him looking for a relationship, and he made a comment like that while also being somebody who wants kids, first thing I would think is “well, if I don’t bounce back and lose the pregnancy weight immediately, he’s going to have a lot of feelings about that”.
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This is COTH. No TBs pisses a lot of us off 
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I don’t like super heavily muscled guys. Not my cup of tea.
We all have what we like.
But, to disparage a person with xyz traits for reaching out after viewing his profile… that’s the kind of icky part.
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I still don’t see where I’ve gone wrong in all of this but I appreciate the replies nonetheless.
I really don’t understand why some people are thinking that I’m seeking some mythological dream woman. I’m seeing people drawing assumptions about my character from a relatively simple comment made about a certain preference in the opposite sex (hell, I didn’t even say that. I just made a statement about an observation on the physical type of women I’m predominantly seeing on the apps). Why this is seen as icky is beyond me but again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
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Go do the speed dating. At least it’s something different, since the apps have yielded nothing.
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I agree with you about that. And yet the entire quote (below) references issues other than weight, which apparently didn’t cause offense. Does that mean it’s okay to self-sort and reject by things like personal goals, reliability, and age–as long as weight isn’t mentioned? Because that’s where the conversation started.
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Exactly. I’ve gone through this many times unfortunately. I’ve been cursed out, called many cruel things, by men and women, all for saying what I’ve said and yet no one has given me a logical explanation as to why it’s wrong to have said that.
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I wonder if anyone here on Coth is interested. We have certainly learned a lot about him. At any rate good luck in your search.
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I guess these apps are successful for many people. I would never have ‘matched’ with my DH on one of these apps (assuming they accepted me, see above, lol). I love horses, the Baltimore Orioles, FC Barcelona, the Green Bay Packers, reading, cooking, and I’m not extroverted.
DH loves golf and golf and golf, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Browns, and will watch a repeat of a sitcom he’s seen 50 times already. Pretty sure he hasn’t read a book since high school, and not really sure he read any then. He can talk to anyone at any time and have a great conversation.
He had 2 cats, I was always a dog person. He needs the TV on all night; I didn’t even have one in the bedroom.
Here we are, pretty disgustingly happy. 1 or 2 cats (Dusty Peaches has been missing but we still have hope). Big screen in the TV room that he insists I get for K3DE, Triple Crown, and Breeder’s Cup. I have a library, where he comes to talk to me, and I put my book down. Crime shows on TV in the bedroom - I turn off his sitcoms when I come to bed. He knows after we have company or join friends for the day, I will just want to read alone for a while.
I would never have ‘swiped’ on him, and I’d have missed all of this.
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You’ve got some fun stories! Sounds like you got lucky finding a great guy and you met at a great time 
@Cat_Tap Apparently I’m icky. But I don’t bite so I can’t be that bad…
Sorry if it wasn’t helpful to your situation at all. I am quite sure I wouldn’t want to live in LA. Friends introduced us. Don’t pass up the blind date, especially if they don’t tell you a blind date, just take a chance on a mutual activity even if it doesn’t seem like your thing.
We met at an ice skating fundraiser for male victims of domestic violence. I can hurt myself in slippers, so ice skating??? Luckiest day of my life.
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Oh brother.
I wouldn’t want to date a guy smaller than me 
Height doesn’t bother me so much but I’m pretty solid and prefer a solid parter that can at least match me. I also wouldn’t want to date someone who, I’ll just say it, falls into the obese or larger category.
I’m very active, I prioritize my health and fitness and MOST people that get into the obese category don’t have those same priorities. Just entering my 40’s, it’s a major priority for me already having chronic health issues to keep going within reason. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t care about stuff like that.
I dated a guy that was big into lifting and was very active also with running and pick up volleyball. He was also big into eating and bigger into drinking and basically undoing everything he did in the gym and was proud of his beer gut. That’s not sustainable for me.
From what we know about @centaursam I’d bet a real paper dollar that he’s coming from a similar place there. To me it sounds like more a lifestyle match thing vs something completely aesthetic, but that ends up being something that people can be sensitive about. I could be off base though!
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I never said you were icky.
You ARE being dramatic about this.
Unless your profile says ‘no fat chicks’ or something, speaking with relative disgust about certain “types” of women who respond to your profile is pretty petty.
You could have taken the high road and said “women I don’t find attractive” but you chose not to. That’s a reflection on you, regardless if it’s legit that you don’t find xyz attractive.
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Frankly I found the whole list of specifics pretty off putting.
“Women that aren’t a good match and/or don’t share my life’s priorities” is a better way to say it. Listing out specifics is pretty tasteless.
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