[QUOTE=rustbreeches;7167253]
Where the hell is Christian Grey when you need him? The LT sounds like a dream for anyone who is looking to enter into a contractual relationship with a submissive.
Carry on…[/QUOTE]
So I was going to quote this and be like…omg this is so funny! But then I realized I have apparently already immortalized you in my signature, and then people would think I was a stalker, and then that would be kinda awkward given the thread…
cough
I would be so flattered to have you as my stalker! You beat the person on fb who would copy and paste EVERYTHING I ever said and pass it off as her own words
[QUOTE=rustbreeches;7167267]
I would be so flattered to have you as my stalker! You beat the person on fb who would copy and paste EVERYTHING I ever said and pass it off as her own words[/QUOTE]
:lol: I work in research so they typically get really angry when people steal credit. OCD quoter I guess!
(hijack ended)
Good decision OP!
OMG I have been oddly fascinated by this thread but PaintedHunter upped the stakes and then rustbreeches rose to the occasion. Way to keep it real COTH’ers. If your lunge line, dressage whip and spurs go missing just buy new and don’t ask any questions.
I think that she does have some serious mental issues that she needs help with. I agree with a lot of the suggestions to talk to her about it and consulting a health care professional is a great idea. She seems a tad manic…
Sorry, continuing to derail this train into non-seriousland: http://global3.memecdn.com/skin-suit_o_284096.jpg
OK, and I had to make this too:
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h133/wangel43/overlyattachedgirlfriendjpg_zpsf1ba0ec7.jpg
Ahhh, the CoTH BB, supplying free mental health care since…? When did the BB spring to life?
I would urge you to be very cautious in how you handle this situation and consider that there could be safety issues for you. I had an oddly similar type of situation in the past, and some people did get hurt, both physically and financially in the end. It was very difficult, because I don’t believe that the person was at heart a bad person–just mentally ill. Things began and escalated as you describe, and ended very seriously.
Just from my own experience, I would guess that this person is not going to be satisfied with a less intense friendship and I think that your best option is to fully end the relationship. If that means moving your horse temporarily, that may be for the best. People who are mentally ill are not always thinking rationally and certainly might do something to an animal–or a person–in a desperate move to get attention or revenge. I would also consider alerting the police sooner rather than later.
[QUOTE=rustbreeches;7167299]
Ahhh, the CoTH BB, supplying free mental health care since…? When did the BB spring to life?[/QUOTE]
'98? '99? 2000?
Think of all the mental health changes it has caused since then. 
[QUOTE=Alter me this;7167237]
It seems to go in cycles…she’ll be very nice and easy to talk to which transitions to super helpful/accomodating, which transitions to something weird happening (basically her going koo koo for cocoa puffs, like the drive home thing), to me getting acutely angry at her, to one day (sometimes not even) of silent treatment, and then the next day is fine, and back to square one/normal. [/QUOTE]
Ok OP, you sound like a nice person, but take this from someone who is also not good at setting boundaries…
I really think you engaging with this person at all-- even when they are “nice and easy to talk to” is giving them the “in” they need to continue the crazy. Seriously, JUST STOP DEALING WITH HER AT ALL. Keep it business-like and short. Hi, Bye, My horse needs X, etc.
The more you muck around trying to talk to her or whatever, the more she continues to misread you. Clearly she doesn’t understand boundaries and has stuff going on, but I don’t think you are helping by attempting to maintain any sort of relationship with her.
I am someone who likes to be nice to everyone, I feel empathy for everybody, I always want to be friendly and nice and helpful… and then I have no ability to set clear boundaries, and end up attracting all kinds of crazy from both friends and family. Sounds to me like you have the same problem. You’re not telling her load and clear that you’re not interested, so she continues… So let my mistakes save you the trouble… Just disengage!!
[QUOTE=rustbreeches;7167253]
Where the hell is Christian Grey when you need him? The LT sounds like a dream for anyone who is looking to enter into a contractual relationship with a submissive.
Carry on…[/QUOTE]
LOL…very funny. Not for OP but for the rest of us!
Good luck OP. Just view all of this as improving your people skills. I do a lot of hiring. I used to give people the benefit of the doubt. But now if someone sets of even a little red flag with me…I trust my gut telling me this person is nuts. Some times it is mental ill nuts…some times it has been drug related but unfortunately, my gut has proven me right enough times that I learn to listen to it sooner now.
[QUOTE=goodlife;7167285]
Sorry, continuing to derail this train into non-seriousland: http://global3.memecdn.com/skin-suit_o_284096.jpg[/QUOTE]
At my part-time gig this child attached herself to me when she started working there and we forever have been like “I mean that bitch wanted to make me into a wallet.” I totally fregging relate.
[QUOTE=RugBug;7167208]
sorry for choosing the wrong word. And while there is a difference, both are tactics of children, not adults.[/QUOTE]
Actually, blackmail and ultimatums are a world apart and if the BO isn’t willing to take the OP’s complaints seriously then moving barns (ultimatum) is really the only recourse the OP has.
It is entirely possible that miss Lonney Tunes has no idea how off putting her behavior is. So, before issuing anultimatum I would sit down with miss LTs and have a honest but compassionate conversation. Tell her that while you appreciate all of her hard work that her behavior is making you feel uncomfortable. Give her an opportunity to respond. Have the conversation when other people are in the immediate area if you are worried about your own personal safety.
She might not be crazy, just oblivious to what constitutes appropriate behavior.
She sounds lonely and desperate for friendship but could be potentially harmless.
[QUOTE=goodlife;7167285]
Sorry, continuing to derail this train into non-seriousland: http://global3.memecdn.com/skin-suit_o_284096.jpg[/QUOTE]
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
[QUOTE=jlphilli;7167902]
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again[/QUOTE]
AggghhhhhHH!!! Just got chill bumps :lol:
OP, how did the meeting go??
[QUOTE=JRG;7167139]
Compassion doesn’t mean engagement. Sometimes things are not what they seem. Clear communicated boundries often take the guess work out of runaway feelings, on both sides.
If I where reading this thread and thought it was about me, I would be mortified. JMHO[/QUOTE]
I’m going to take a bit of a risk here and comment, because I kind of identify with LT a bit. I think I’m self aware enough to not get to that level, but I do think this is coming from a place of insecurity, loneliness, and a bit of social awkwardness or anxiety.
I’m that person that CAN’T leave a party or gathering first. Even if I’m late for something. It’s stupid, but I feel like I’m missing something or that everyone will start talking about me.
I’m the person who, when living at the barn, would rush around to tack up so I could go on a ride with people. I would feel (irrationally, I know!) hurt if I did not get invited on a trail ride.
I’m the person who, when finding out a couple friends went out for pizza and beer after riding, feels hurt when I’m not invited (even though maybe they just couldn’t find me before they left, or maybe they needed to chat about something personal, or whatever)
I’m prone to feeling left out or like people can’t stand me, even though it’s probably usually nothing like that at all and people just have their own lives and maybe their definition of the relationship is different from mine.
I overshare. Sometimes I say stuff that really should be kept between very good friends with people who are maybe only casual friends, because I have trouble telling the difference.
I think for the most part I am self aware enough to control this stuff, so hopefully people aren’t writing threads like this about me (I know people here IRL, please speak up if I weird you out, I’ll put a lid on it, really!). But, I kind of understand where LT is coming from. And as someone who could conceivably be in her shoes (at least, if I was just a little more crazy, I really don’t think I’m quite as bad), I would hope that there is some sort of gentle way to ease her into giving you some space.
From my perspective as a somewhat insecure but hopefully not totally crazy person, I think just saying stuff like “I had a really rough day and really need some time alone” is probably a good place to start. Put a pause on texting, definitely. You may not need to ignore completely, but never respond right away, and keep responses short and impersonal (“lol” or “that’s funny”)
Ultimately, she needs some sort of help getting self aware enough to realize there is a problem in how she perceives her relationships. That could (actually, most definitely will) take professional help. But in thinking about how I’d want someone to approach me if I was driving them nuts, I think being direct is probably best (“LT, I’m really grateful for all your help but honestly, I prefer doing x, y, and z myself, and I really need some alone time at the barn and a bit of distance in my life, too. I like you, but I feel like you’re putting way too much into this relationship and that’s a lot of pressure on me, and I feel a little uncomfortable about it.”) It will hurt her feelings. No way around it. But in the long term, it may really help her put things together and start taking more control over her behavior, or at least being self aware enough to put a cork in it.
I also think, as much as it sucks, you have to trust your gut if you think she’s stealing stuff or will act out if you “break up” with her - get a second pair of eyes on the horse and your stuff, definitely.
And of course, maybe my brand of crazy is totally different from hers and this would be a recipe for disaster. I just felt a little bit like I could kind of understand some of what LT is doing, even though most of it I’d never do myself. I might have, back in my twenties before I’d figured myself out yet though (not stealing stuff or being mean or taking it out on your horse, but other stuff, sure)
ETA: I posted this before reading at least a page of replies. She’s definitely more crazy than me. Wondering if maybe I should delete all of the above. Oh well. eff it. Continue into derailment territory, folks!
I have been witness to a very similar situation. It happened a couple of years ago at a barn where I was boarding. The victim was the barn owner, the weirdo was a boarder. It just got stranger and stranger - very much like you describe. I won’t go into details, but the end result was the BO asking the young woman to leave and then banning her from her farm and cutting off all communication.
As it turned out, the young woman is a pathological liar and has several other MAJOR mental health issues. I witnessed the whole thing. I hope your BO will ask her to leave. I don’t think anything short of cutting all ties with this woman will put an end to it.
:lol: YES! OP, you need to threaten to reveal all of BO’s secrets unless she kicks out LT.
Kidding.
I wouldn’t consider an ultimatum childish in this situation, especially since the OP/OP’s horse could be in danger here.
Um… you don’t have any pet bunnies do you?
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