mmmmm. tempura. mmmm.
[QUOTE=alterfe;8977817]
I guess you missed the part where I said that I had spoken to the trainer/BM who immediately addressed this issue.
I don’t understand why you’re so negative about the way I responded and make this whole encounter seem like it was entirely my fault and that I’m a terrible, rude, immature person. I guess I forgot all college kids are stupid, naive brats who have no real world experience :yes: I work two jobs and deal with a lot of people. Heck, I even used to work at the barn and would never dream of treating the other clients like this!
I’d also like to point out that I did not (and still do not know) the position/authority of this person. I did not even know this person was working at the farm until I walked into the ring and she started squawking at me. So yes, it was a bit of a shock. I also don’t want to rock the boat since I am an employee at the tack shop so I decided that keeping quiet and trying to go about my business as usual was the best option.
It’s been handled, but thanks for all of your kind advice!!![/QUOTE]
To answer your questions:
-
You didn’t have the issue handled until page 2 or 3. So anything anyone wrote prior to that responded to what you had said had happened to that point. Or not.
-
You started out with a rather incendiary title and over-the-top unkind set of attributions made about a new employee at your barn.
-
You reveal, later, that you have history with this person and don’t like her.
-
As Meupatdoes said, you don’t need to know much about who the new employee is or what her title might be in order to be polite to her and have a working relationship with her. As when you were the new person on the job, you had some details to learn. Since that was her case as well, why be the PITA customer who puts the new guys through the ringer on day one?
So I’m not responding to “All College Students Are Stupid.” Heck, no one knew that bit of information about it until page 2 when you revealed your past with this barn worker.
What I did respond to was just what you wrote about the situation here.
In this thread, as happened at your barn: You get back what you give out to people.
I would not consider an employee of the barn I pay to board at to be an “equal” - **to clarify: as in, just a fellow boarder to basically ignore/avoid if they’re a douchebag. We’re all equal human beings. If she works for the barn, you’re her customer, and she should treat you in a respectful manner, not a rude bossy one. Customer service - it’s a thing.
Left-to-left is pretty much a universal rule, IMO - when you’re both riding on the rail. When someone is off the rail doing patterns, it does not apply. If you are done with your patterns and are getting back on the rail, wait to do so until the upcoming rider(s) have passed, and at the very least CALL where you’re going. I don’t understand why it’s such a hard concept for people to call where they’re going??? “Rail!” “Circling!” “Red vertical!” Not hard.
If you’ve gotten on really well with the trainer and BO before this, I don’t see why they would suddenly turn rude and say something like “Just deal with it.” They most likely don’t know about this rude worker’s behavior - it’s not uncommon for people to act completely differently around the person who pays them than they do around everyone else. I would inform the BO and trainer of what has been going on. If they find issue with you instead of the worker, it’s probably time to move your horse to a new barn.
@Beck
Double dressage whips once led to two educated women chasing each other around on horseback shouting “relinquish your whip!”
Too silly to make this up: I read it on COTH.
LOL
[QUOTE=mmeqcenter;8978351]
I would not consider an employee of the barn I pay to board at to be an equal. If she works for the barn, you’re her customer, and she should treat you in a respectful manner, not a rude bossy one. Customer service - it’s a thing.
Left-to-left is pretty much a universal rule, IMO - when you’re both riding on the rail. When someone is off the rail doing patterns, it does not apply. If you are done with your patterns and are getting back on the rail, wait to do so until the upcoming rider(s) have passed, and at the very least CALL where you’re going. I don’t understand why it’s such a hard concept for people to call where they’re going??? “Rail!” “Circling!” “Red vertical!” Not hard.
If you’ve gotten on really well with the trainer and BO before this, I don’t see why they would suddenly turn rude and say something like “Just deal with it.” They most likely don’t know about this rude worker’s behavior - it’s not uncommon for people to act completely differently around the person who pays them than they do around everyone else. I would inform the BO and trainer of what has been going on. If they find issue with you instead of the worker, it’s probably time to move your horse to a new barn.[/QUOTE]
And yet there are so many threads on COTH about how hard it is to keep good “barn help.” Maybe it’s partly to do with regarding staff as lesser beings than the customers. My comment is not specifically regarding the original topic scenario, but I did want to highlight this attitude. :no:
[QUOTE=dkcbr;8978392]
And yet there are so many threads on COTH about how hard it is to keep good “barn help.” Maybe it’s partly to do with regarding staff as lesser beings than the customers. My comment is not specifically regarding the original topic scenario, but I did want to highlight this attitude. :no:[/QUOTE]
Never did I say “lesser being.” I said it is a customer-employee relationship, not a boarder-boarder relationship. They’re different, and should be treated differently. As in any customer-service industry, I expect a different level of respect from the employee than I do from another customer. If you’re at a restaurant, which is going to bother you more - your rude server who acts like your request for a refill is a huge inconvenience to them, or the other customer in the bathroom who runs into you on their way out and glares at you without apologizing?
[QUOTE=mmeqcenter;8978408]
Never did I say “lesser being.” I said it is a customer-employee relationship, not a boarder-boarder relationship. They’re different, and should be treated differently. As in any customer-service industry, I expect a different level of respect from the employee than I do from another boarder. If you’re at a restaurant, which is going to bother you more - your rude server who acts like your request for a refill is a huge inconvenience to them, or the other customer in the bathroom who runs into you on their way out and glares at you without apologizing?[/QUOTE]
You said, though, that you would not consider an employee to be equal. Which to me sounds like you’re putting the employee on a lower footing than the customer, and that just didn’t sit well with me. I’d prefer to think everyone - being human beings and all - starts out with equal respect, because each party needs something from the other and each party brings something of value to the relationship. This has worked well for me in my own life. But I do see that many others seem to run into toxic barn owners, managers, and employees with unsettling frequency (judging from the many threads in the past, plus this one). So believe me I am counting my blessings even as we speak. 
I am not sure what the right answer is to your restaurant scenario. For me, the customer bumping into me would bother me more than the rude server. That’s because with the rude server, I have the choices of either trying to jolly him/her out of the bad mood, complain to the manager, or leave an evaluation of the service by way of a lower tip.
However, I am nearly powerless to do anything about the customer bumping into me. My only alternative in that case is to call attention to it and demand an apology - not happening.
Maybe respect isn’t really the issue - I do think sometimes we (the editorial we) get kind of hung up on it whether we are respected/respectful/disrespectful/dissing/etc. when discussing momentary blips in our interactions.
I’m off an a tangent. Sorry! :o
The thing is that this is not the barn workers barn… she works for the BO or BM.
She doesn’t get to make the rules. If she is not aware of the rules, she doesn’t get to enforce what she doesn’t know about.
I don’t think mmeqcenter meant that all people do not deserve respect, but an employee should know their place… and that they represent the BO or BM.
Making a stink about something that was already cleared with the BM/BO by this employee was out of line.
I’ve had some experience with people like this Barn worker… except in the last case it was another boarder who thought it was her place to tell me how to deal with other boarders horses- even though I was a worker and boarder, who also traded care of horses with another boarder… and also as a concerned boarder who had a horse 2 stalls down who had colic surgery and was living under a DNR should he colic again. God forbid I stop and observe him a few minutes before leaving when he seemed ‘off’ to me. That got me a tongue lashing.
What a beyotch. Whom no one ever called to task or corrected.
These people act like this because they get away with acting like this.
[QUOTE=Angela Freda;8978497]
The thing is that this is not the barn workers barn… she works for the BO or BM.
She doesn’t get to make the rules. If she is not aware of the rules, she doesn’t get to enforce what she doesn’t know about.
I don’t think mmeqcenter meant that all people do not deserve respect, but an employee should know their place… and that they represent the BO or BM.
Making a stink about something that was already cleared with the BM/BO by this employee was out of line.
I’ve had some experience with people like this Barn worker… except in the last case it was another boarder who thought it was her place to tell me how to deal with other boarders horses- even though I was a worker and boarder, who also traded care of horses with another boarder… and also as a concerned boarder who had a horse 2 stalls down who had colic surgery and was living under a DNR should he colic again. God forbid I stop and observe him a few minutes before leaving when he seemed ‘off’ to me. That got me a tongue lashing.
What a beyotch. Whom no one ever called to task or corrected.
These people act like this because they get away with acting like this.[/QUOTE]
Okay, I’m going to be stubborn here and say that, while your post (and mmeq’s) has lots of merit, it still sticks in my craw to assert that employees should “know their place” - it doesn’t sound right to me. But I’m sure I’m hung up on semantics.
At issue in my own mind from the original post was whether it might be possible to handle an interaction with a new employee by giving her the benefit of any doubt, by talking about it and figuring out what the issues are behind it. Instead, here and other times, it seems folks want to determine from the first one or two interactions with someone that a preemptive smackdown to prevent the person from getting away with something is needed.
But I’ve been unbelievably fortunate in my boarding life NOT to have run into anyone needing a smackdown by the boarders.
[QUOTE=Angela Freda;8978497]
I don’t think mmeqcenter meant that all people do not deserve respect, but an employee should know their place… and that they represent the BO or BM.[/QUOTE]
It’s kinda semantics - it’s hard to discuss the customer/service provider relationship without, well … saying they’re not an equal one. But mmeq did follow-up posts where she further explained just what she meant, so to stick with one’s first (negative) impression of what a poster meant, when the poster is expanding and further explaining their meaning, is what drives a bunch of circular, pointless arguments.
The fact is, peoples’ positions aren’t equal. As a human being, I am equally worthy of respect and regard as my Commanding Officer. As a human being, OP or you or me are equally worthy of respect as George Morris.
But our positions are not the same. Within the military construct, I am in a lesser position to my CO. My job is to obey.
As a rider in a clinic, OP/you/me are expected to obey GM’s instructions, down to showing up dressed and turned out the way he prefers.
OP is in a client-provider relationship with the barn worker. That is not an equal position, and while overt respect (for example when addressing one another) should be an expectation for both as fellow people, it is often a positional requirement for the latter.
This whole interaction between barn worker and OP rubs me the wrong way. Especially the OP, you are wrong on so many levels. I can only speculate based on what the OP posted but, there are always two sides to every story.
This thread makes me so glad I no longer work at a boarding barn anymore. People wonder why it’s so hard to get good help. As a barn employee, it was part of my job to enforce rules at the barn. My B/O always had my back. A good barn worker that does the job is worth more than a boarder that causes all your good help to move on. It’s called a barn family for a reason.
[QUOTE=mmeqcenter;8978408]
Never did I say “lesser being.” I said it is a customer-employee relationship, not a boarder-boarder relationship. They’re different, and should be treated differently. As in any customer-service industry, I expect a different level of respect from the employee than I do from another customer. [/QUOTE]
Well, presumably the employee has permission to ride; maybe it is a work-to-ride relationship. That’s between the BO/BM and that employee.
If she’s using the arena, and not “working” - both parties are, in my opinion, equal. Both have the “right” to use the arena, both should follow the rules, and unless a rule is being broken - neither gets to dictate the actions of the other.
[QUOTE=luvmyhackney;8978663]
As a barn employee, it was part of my job to enforce rules at the barn. My B/O always had my back.[/QUOTE]
This assumes you actually know the barn rules.
Here it sounds like a brand new worker decided to enforce her own rules against a BM-sanctioned activity, the issue was appropriately raised up the chain of command, and worker will be put right by her boss.
[QUOTE=Coanteen;8978655]
It’s kinda semantics - it’s hard to discuss the customer/service provider relationship without, well … saying they’re not an equal one. But mmeq did follow-up posts where she further explained just what she meant, so to stick with one’s first (negative) impression of what a poster meant, when the poster is expanding and further explaining their meaning, is what drives a bunch of circular, pointless arguments.
The fact is, peoples’ positions aren’t equal. As a human being, I am equally worthy of respect and regard as my Commanding Officer. As a human being, OP or you or me are equally worthy of respect as George Morris.
But our positions are not the same. Within the military construct, I am in a lesser position to my CO. My job is to obey.
As a rider in a clinic, OP/you/me are expected to obey GM’s instructions, down to showing up dressed and turned out the way he prefers.
OP is in a client-provider relationship with the barn worker. That is not an equal position, and while overt respect (for example when addressing one another) should be an expectation for both as fellow people, it is often a positional requirement for the latter.[/QUOTE]
Well said!
[QUOTE=Coanteen;8978672]
This assumes you actually know the barn rules.
Here it sounds like a brand new worker decided to enforce her own rules against a BM-sanctioned activity, the issue was appropriately raised up the chain of command, and worker will be put right by her boss.[/QUOTE]
Exactly.
And in this day/age of texting… if the Barn Worker wanted to suggest to boarder that she was not allowed to handwalk, a quick text to clarify with BO/BM first what the rule is on this is not unusual or out of the realm of smart to do.
Why make waves when you do not have to?
Actually we don’t know what the role of barn worker is since op doesn’t know.
If a barn owner is paying me to ride and feed, which are the only things we know for sure this employee does, I may not have anything to do with the client relations.
But as meup and several others have pointed out, relative position is not a substitute for good manners on anyone’s part.
[QUOTE=Angela Freda;8978497]
The thing is that this is not the barn workers barn… she works for the BO or BM.
She doesn’t get to make the rules. If she is not aware of the rules, she doesn’t get to enforce what she doesn’t know about.
I don’t think mmeqcenter meant that all people do not deserve respect, but an employee should know their place… and that they represent the BO or BM.
Making a stink about something that was already cleared with the BM/BO by this employee was out of line.
I’ve had some experience with people like this Barn worker… except in the last case it was another boarder who thought it was her place to tell me how to deal with other boarders horses- even though I was a worker and boarder, who also traded care of horses with another boarder… and also as a concerned boarder who had a horse 2 stalls down who had colic surgery and was living under a DNR should he colic again. God forbid I stop and observe him a few minutes before leaving when he seemed ‘off’ to me. That got me a tongue lashing.
What a beyotch. Whom no one ever called to task or corrected.
These people act like this because they get away with acting like this.[/QUOTE]
I don’t think it’s right for a boarder to play boss to a BO’s employee. After all, the boarder doesn’t know what the BO told the employee. The scenario above is a good reason why.
And in the case in this thread: If the barn worker in this case was told “No horses to be hand-walked in the arena while you are riding” or “When you ride that green horse of ours, make sure no one is in the arena with you on the ground. He’s a bit of a monkey and we don’t want any of our clients or their horses hurt” AND the BO forgot to mention that the OP and her pony were the exception to the rule, that puts the employee in a hard spot. Does she follow the BO’s orders as she understands them or the boarder’s orders?
If it were me, I’d do as my actual supervisor asked. That seems the safest bet, even though the boarder had been there longer than I. It seems to me that a customer-- including one who has held a job-- would appreciate the position she puts the barn worker in and just defer to the BO and let her teach her employee how things should go. No one wants to have two bosses who ask for different things.
[QUOTE=mvp;8978703]
I don’t think it’s right for a boarder to play boss to a BO’s employee. After all, the boarder doesn’t know what the BO told the employee. The scenario above is a good reason why.
And in the case in this thread: If the barn worker in this case was told “No horses to be hand-walked in the arena while you are riding” or “When you ride that green horse of ours, make sure no one is in the arena with you on the ground. He’s a bit of a monkey and we don’t want any of our clients or their horses hurt” AND the BO forgot to mention that the OP and her pony were the exception to the rule, that puts the employee in a hard spot. Does she follow the BO’s orders as she understands them or the boarder’s orders?
If it were me, I’d do as my actual supervisor asked. That seems the safest bet, even though the boarder had been there longer than I. It seems to me that a customer-- including one who has held a job-- would appreciate the position she puts the barn worker in and just defer to the BO and let her teach her employee how things should go. No one wants to have two bosses who ask for different things.[/QUOTE]
Like I said, the BW could have texted BO/BM if she wasn’t sure or wanted to clarify. I ‘get’ doing what my supervisors said to do… but unless ‘enforce the rules!’ was one of those things expressly put on BWs ‘to do’ list… meh.
As we all know, on any given day things [and the rules about those things] can change… and communication is a key we often forget to use.
In my case… when I was a boarder and another boarder was doing something that was a no-no per actual rules … and it wasn’t endangering anyone else… it’s not for me to police.
If someone is doing something stupid, rules or not, and endangering others… I speak up and address the exact situation… for example ‘I know the BO has said YOU can handwalk, but could you wait until… I am off my horse who can get silly… I am done riding cause your horse is hard to ride around…’
I would go further to suggest if the BW has not been there long enough to know that OP was given special permission to handwalk… she’s not been there long enough to be working without some level of supervision [ie even ‘you can reach me by text’].
.
@luvmyhackney: I don’t think you are in the right to say OP was off base on “so many levels”
It sounds like you have beef with boarders based on your past bad experiences as a worker.
The worker did not need to yell multiple times. Also, if what the op said is true regarding the employees behavior when she goes into the tack shop, the barn employee is a rude and entitled individual
