Horseback rider + vegan?

[ReSomething]

People HAVE killed each other over animal fat being present and served to them unawares before, but it was a religious prohibition. Read up on the whys of the Black Hole of Calcutta.

Diet is one of the means by which groups self identify and groups do fight to the death to maintain that self identity The question here is does OP’s new friend self identify as a capital V vegan with political choices as well or is it a health and lifestyle choice that is personal, and can they have a meeting of the minds.
How about we let OP find out and let us know if she so chooses?

[LauraKY]

[QUOTE=wireweiners;8894767]
If you didn’t want to offend and sound holier than thou, why did you use the word corpse, which you knew would be offensive, rather than the correct word, meat. Nice try, but your apology does not ring true.[/QUOTE]

Technically it is a corpse though, before it’s all nicely butchered and packaged for you in cellophone in the grocery store. Why pretend that an animal wasn’t killed in the first step in processing?

Also technically, decomposition is what helps make meat more tender, as in “aged beef.”

***I eat meat. I’m having a nice marinated sirloin steak for dinner tonight. I’m also a realist.

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=ReSomething;8898500]
People HAVE killed each other over animal fat being present and served to them unawares before, but it was a religious prohibition. Read up on the whys of the Black Hole of Calcutta.

Diet is one of the means by which groups self identify and groups do fight to the death to maintain that self identity The question here is does OP’s new friend self identify as a capital V vegan with political choices as well or is it a health and lifestyle choice that is personal, and can they have a meeting of the minds.
How about we let OP find out and let us know if she so chooses?[/QUOTE]

That question has been already answered, the OP stated her SO was the brain washed type and thought horses should not be ridden, but run free in the wild.

That falls of the “it is just a food preference” wagon into wanting it to mean specific lifestyle choices, some of those, here having/riding horses, that will affect what she cares for herself, her horses.

[Manni01]

[QUOTE=Bluey;8898576]
That question has been already answered, the OP stated her SO was the brain washed type and thought horses should not be ridden, but run free in the wild.

That falls of the “it is just a food preference” wagon into wanting it to mean specific lifestyle choices, some of those, here having/riding horses, that will affect what she cares for herself, her horses.[/QUOTE]

For me there is no proof that the SO was a permanent brain washed type. IMO he might be unexperienced with horses and just adapted to what he was told by others… I am very hopeful that once he get to know horses, he will be able to change his mind.
Even my son who really also thinks that all horses should run wild changed his mind about it. He thinks (after caring for them for 3 weeks while I was gone on a trip) that they are eternally spoiled and not interested to live out in the wild

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=Manni01;8898656]
For me there is no proof that the SO was a permanent brain washed type. IMO he might be unexperienced with horses and just adapted to what he was told by others… I am very hopeful that once he get to know horses, he will be able to change his mind.
Even my son who really also thinks that all horses should run wild changed his mind about it. He thinks (after caring for them for 3 weeks while I was gone on a trip) that they are eternally spoiled and not interested to live out in the wild :)[/QUOTE]

That is true, but the OP herself stated in her posts that she thinks he is the brainwashed kind, or something like that, specifically used that word, “brainwashed”, why some of us go by that definition here.

[ReSomething]

In the OP she doesn’t state “brainwashed”. Just shouldn’t be ridden and ought to run free. Well, I’m sure Crackerjack would be of two minds about that one. Run free yessir, unless he is missing the bucket of feed. I’d like to see how this plays out, but without any strong expectations either way.

[beowulf]

[QUOTE=IronwoodFarm;8892900]
I have a very good girlfriend who is a vegan. She really found it hard dating non-vegans. Her comment was that there tended to be barriers with values that went well beyond the issue of where/what one could eat together. Luckily she met a really lovely vegan man and married him. And they don’t mind enslaving cats, so that is good, too.[/QUOTE]
BUT THEY have it backwards! it’s the cats that enslave, not the other way around. :winkgrin:

[StarPattern]

I used to date a guy who thought he could convert me into the perfect woman. Mind you, it wasn’t because he was vegan and I wasn’t… more along the lines he wanted a blonde, extremely fit and tanned girl with fake breasts. When he met me, I had purple hair and I studiously avoid the sun (I can burn in the middle of a Canadian winter). He would constantly drop little remarks about how I’d be prettier with a tan or that I wasn’t 14 anymore and purple hair looked childish. I mostly ignored him, but it got on my nerves too. Over the course of a year, he stopped hinting at it and would just show me pictures of girls who he thought were prettier. He hated that I’d stand up to him and he turned to alcohol and verbal abuse. That relationship was doomed from the start, but I tried it out for a year and some. Don’t do what I did. If he’s already trying to change you, end the relationship before you’re really invested into it.

[amm2cd]

Conversely, do not get into any relationship with the hope that they will change.

Vegan or no, it’s setting yourself up for misery.

[Alagirl]

[QUOTE=LauraKY;8898511]
Technically it is a corpse though, before it’s all nicely butchered and packaged for you in cellophone in the grocery store. Why pretend that an animal wasn’t killed in the first step in processing?

Also technically, decomposition is what helps make meat more tender, as in “aged beef.”

***I eat meat. I’m having a nice marinated sirloin steak for dinner tonight. I’m also a realist.[/QUOTE]

you still don’t say it unless you want to get a reaction.

The nurse isn’t going to ask you if you took a s*** either, but phrases it more polite with abbreviations…BM anyone?

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=junebug;8892059]
Thanks for all the insight. I’m in agreement with most of you that it’s a big obstacle, which makes me really sad. I will still be seeing him (in a non-dating sense) on a regular basis, so I think I will friend-zone him and get to know him better. There is a part of me that wonders whether he’s been a little ‘brainwashed’ (for lack of a better word) by someone in his past, and that some knowledge/experience might be good for him. I certainly will only do this in the most friendly/non-judgmental/non-forced way possible, with no expectations of anything changing. I think he was happy to hear that I own an OTTB and that because of me she didn’t end up in the ‘glue factory’ (though I feel fairly confident that the trainer I bought her from would have let her live out her days in a pasture if I didn’t take her) So that’s a starting point. If he wants to buy me all the thoroughbreds, I am fine with that;)[/QUOTE]

See what I bolded above, the OP’s own words.

@ReSomething;8898711

In the OP she doesn’t state “brainwashed”. Just shouldn’t be ridden and ought to run free. Well, I’m sure Crackerjack would be of two minds about that one. Run free yessir, unless he is missing the bucket of feed. I’d like to see how this plays out, but without any strong expectations either way.

That is where I read that, why I was responding to that she presented about him.
All we have to go by is what the OP told us.

I hope she now has enough ideas to decide where to go from here.

[junebug]

@Manni01;8898656

For me there is no proof that the SO was a permanent brain washed type. IMO he might be unexperienced with horses and just adapted to what he was told by others… I am very hopeful that once he get to know horses, he will be able to change his mind.

No proof that he is permanently or currently brainwashed. Just something I wondered based on a few things he’s said. I certainly hope not, and that’s something I will need to determine over time. It probably wouldn’t be too helpful to just come out and ask “So, are you brainwashed?”

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=junebug;8899047]
No proof that he is permanently or currently brainwashed. Just something I wondered based on a few things he’s said. I certainly hope not, and that’s something I will need to determine over time. It probably wouldn’t be too helpful to just come out and ask “So, are you brainwashed?”[/QUOTE]

You are funny there, no, don’t try that.

Zealots rarely have a good sense of humor about what they are so intense about, but that could be one way to find out if he is one, or if he just never really gave all this a serious thought.

[anon38350891]

OP, a lot of people have grownup without much contact with large animals. They don’t know how they behave, respond to their humans, take joy in seeing their humans, take health in getting down to their jobs. These people are the ones shrieking year after year the the New York carriage horses are being cruelly treated and murdered in their jobs.

They romanticize the “wild and free” existence in which these animals actually often died much younger and more violently.

If your SO can be educated, he might lose this mindset. It would be critically important to bring him to the barn. Let him see horses at rest and at work. Let him have a ‘captive’ horse snuffle his neck and look gleaming with health, gently at close range.

That will tell you if there’s hope or not.

[DJohn]

@Kinda Kooky;8894481

There are some posters that seem to be threatened by the lifestyle choices of vegans. I have been a vegetarian since the age of six and have heard it all before. I have my reasons, they make sense to me and that is what matters. I eat as a vegan, and I have horse equipment made of leather, yet I avoid fur and other animal products.

Why do I not eat animals? Because I consider them friends. Yup, all of them. Judge away, folks.

Philosophically, meat eaters and I differ. I feel that I have other dietary options, and the taking of an animal’s life is not worth the meal to me. Yes, nature can be savage, but I don’t have to be.

First off, OP; you’re doomed. This guy wants to date you and he’s already preaching? Kick his ass back out the door he came through.

Second- KK- where have you been all my life!? I always say that I consider animals my friends and I don’t eat my friends! Heck, I like animals a lot more than I like people. Especially horses, cows & sheep. They’re just so sensitive and curious, gentle souls.

The thought of eating meat actually makes me sick. I have also been a vegetarian since the age of 6 or 7, and there’s nothing that would make me change my mind. I think it’s cruel that some people will make such a fuss of someone else’s lifestyle. I choose not to eat animals, that does not harm you in any way!

As for people who eat meat (my entire family & SO included) I do not make them feel guilty, I do not expect them to cook me something different and I certainly don’t complain when they eat meat.

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=DJohn;8899105]
First off, OP; you’re doomed. This guy wants to date you and he’s already preaching? Kick his ass back out the door he came through.

Second- KK- where have you been all my life!? I always say that I consider animals my friends and I don’t eat my friends! Heck, I like animals a lot more than I like people. Especially horses, cows & sheep. They’re just so sensitive and curious, gentle souls.

The thought of eating meat actually makes me sick. I have also been a vegetarian since the age of 6 or 7, and there’s nothing that would make me change my mind. I think it’s cruel that some people will make such a fuss of someone else’s lifestyle. I choose not to eat animals, that does not harm you in any way!

As for people who eat meat (my entire family & SO included) I do not make them feel guilty, I do not expect them to cook me something different and I certainly don’t complain when they eat meat.[/QUOTE]

Well, be glad you grew up where you could have a choice.

Growing up, food was rationed and scarce.
We didn’t have enough to eat and you bet we ate whatever was offered.
You had to if you didn’t want to go hungry.
Of course we had preferences, but they were moot question as far as eating what was available, just glad when that was something we really liked.

I consider this a first world problem, people choosing what to eat because they have such great and abundant choices.
How wonderful for everyone that is that lucky.
No one should feel superior and look down at those that make different choices.

I do think that the OP will need to determine which kind of vegan her SO may be.
If her horses may always come between them, that relationship may be made harder.

[Alterrain]

[QUOTE=DJohn;8899105]

As for people who eat meat (my entire family & SO included) I do not make them feel guilty, I do not expect them to cook me something different and I certainly don’t complain when they eat meat. [/QUOTE]

^This, I think, separates the “normal” veg from the “brainwashed” veg. (I say veg to encompass both vegetarian and vegan and the grey areas in between. I consider myself a modified vegan, in that I eat 100% vegan, but use leather products and will eat honey.)

My household is 100% vegan, but when we eat out DH orders the biggest steak they have. Doesn’t bother me at all, he’s a grownup and can make his own choices. When I go to a restaurant I’ll order my food quietly without the I’M A VEGAN PLEASE LET’S TALK ABOUT MY OPTIONS that so many vegan’s love. At Thanksgiving? I eat the veg options. It’s not hard: do what feels right to you, and don’t judge others.

[Red_Barn]

^^ The world’s largest population of vegetarians is India’s Hindus, who haven’t eaten meat for time out of mind. Various gnostic sects were vegetarian, and plenty of others, too.

So no: not some decadent First World “problem” - rather an ethical/spiritual choice with a hugely long tradition.

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=Red Barn;8899151]
^^ The world’s largest population of vegetarians is India’s Hindus, who haven’t eaten meat for time out of mind. Various gnostic sects were vegetarian, and plenty of others, too.

So no: not some decadent First World “problem” - rather an ethical/spiritual choice with a hugely long tradition.[/QUOTE]

Not as simple as that:

http://forbesindia.com/article/recliner/being-vegan-in-india/4482/1?utm=slidebox

http://www.dawn.com/news/1206096

First two hits on google.

[Alterrain]

[QUOTE=SuzieQNutter;8896106]
The way I did it with my hubby who was non horsey was I showed him how to take a bridle off.

I did this by saying that he needed to know. If he ever came home to a tacked horse and no Sue. I know he would want to help. I don’t want him trying to take the bridle off and hitting their teeth.

Show him the care you take of the horse. That you care deeply that a simple thing like taking a bridle off correctly means that you are thinking about the comfort of the horse.

From that place my husband started feeding and rugging. From there he started cleaning hooves. From there he cried when we lost my mare. From there he pushed me to get another horse when I lost my mare and said I wouldn’t get another. From there he started riding my old guy.

From there I gave him horse.

From there he made me a dressage arena.

From there he now is a dressage rider!!![/QUOTE]

This is the sweetest post. I actually welled up!