Amwrider, you need to write for David Letterman or something. Since all the regular writers are on strike, perhaps you should forward some of your brilliant ideas to Letterman or Leno.
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
PS - I think you should keep the Elvis personality no matter what.
#yiv1601066633 .hmmessage P{margin:0px;padding:0px;}#yiv1601066633 .hmmessage{FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma;}Dearest One,
Good day, no thanks for your mail, please I will really want you to stop communicate with me, because I can seen that you are not ready to help me instead you wanted to ruin my life, since you know you are not ready to assist me out of this matter then you should have just quit instead of you contacting the security company and told them that the consignment deposited with them by my late father contained money this company called me today that they received email from you and that you are informed them on how to transfer fund to you instead of consignment and again you told them that it is from Nigeria whereas i well told you that i am from Cote D'Ivoire ( ivory coast) a french speaking country in West Africa.
I have to denied to them that it is not fund as you mentioned that may be you made a mistake to saying that I told them that the consignment is contained GOLD , JEWELRIES & SOME FAMILY BELONGINGS not fund because that was the agreement signed between my father and this company when depositing the consignment in their custody. Again the code you metion to them is verey different to what i gave you … what is “FRUITBAT”??? the code i gave to you is …SSFM/17VQPfor the consignment.And the Deposit code is SSFM/X70/10.
infact I really supprised after much of my explanations from the begining to you on this consignment and the condition of depositing it with this company by my late father that the contents in the consignment didn’t disclose to them for security reason but still yet you seem want to exposing the contents therein to this company, I told you if this company know that the consignment contain money they might seize it or increase their bills or tax. ¨Please kindly made your correction with this company or else you stop your communicate with me. I can’t force you to assist me it really depend on your own willingness. Since I can seen your unserious behaviors over the matter that was the reason why I have stoped my communicate with you .
Ms Magret.
my reply
My sweetums, I am very sorry. I have as of this date send Elvis and Tammy TaTa off on an assignment. They are packing their belongings for a business trip to Las Vegas. Elvis is the King of bling so he is to search out the finest decorative sequins and stones for the horse beauty pagent decorations. TaTa is giving a riding clinic on advanced Cowboy maneuvers. We should be able to conduct our business together without interruption.
Please be assured that I must have had my emails crossed. I have several business dealings currently which involve some African holdings. I must have emailed the incorrect information to the wrong contact. That email was intended for COTH holdings
I will send a corrected email shortly.
I await the conclusion of our transaction. I sincerely wish to meet you. My dear departed horse was named Rosalinde and my heart turns tender every time I communicate with you. Would it be possible to obtain a photo of you?
Oh, dear! I do hope it’s not too late to kindle a fruit(bat)ful relationship with Margret/Rosalinde. She sounds really upset! I think you covered for it well, though. I do hope she forgives you and continues to correspond!
I think the Couch Critics should be the bridesmaids should there be wedding bells in the future!!! We can all wear rust breeches and approved helmets!!!
IF YOU DO PLAY WITH THESE PEOPLE
HAVE THE ITEMS SENT GENERAL DELIVERY TO YOUR POST OFFICE.
DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR FULL ADDRESS
Good advice, grandprixjump, but I think Amwrider is totally hip to these types. They are dangerous, even murderous.
Scambaiters do what they to to tie up their time and resources. Sometimes the good 'baiters can even get “souvenirs” like photographs of the scammer in outrageous costumes &/or holding up a card with something written on it supposedly to assure the 'baiter that the scammer is “sincere” and “can be trusted”.
Picture Margret/Rosalinde holding up a card with HERE’S THE FRUITBAT written on it – and she’s wearing one of those Carmen Miranda style hats – or something like that.
I used to scambait a little; now I spend my spare time cruising these danged BB’s. I was never as good as Amwrider is.
Visit “419 Eater” for some scamming fun!
No reply yet. Hopefully she is obtaining a photo.
Anyone can get my address, they are using my farm email address and my real address is on my website.
My sincerest apologies, I forwarded incorrect information to you regarding transfer of funds on a horse I am importing through COTH.
Please accept my corrected information. I am contacting you regarding a consignment of family belongings.
SSFM/17VQPfor the consignmentthe Deposit code is SSFM/X70/10
please advise
Mon, 7 Jan 2008
received from Cages Finance And Security
CAGES FINANCE AND SECURITY COMPANY
121 ZONE 3 BLVD DE LA PAIX
[SIZE=3][B] ABIDJAN, COTE D’IVOIRE
00225 07 22 58 25
[/B][COLOR=#000000]THE PROCEEDURE TO TRANSFER OF ONE METAL TRUNK BOX TO YOUR DESTINATION[/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3]
[B][SIZE=2]Dear Sir,
[/SIZE][/B]
[SIZE=2]This is to confirm the receipt of your mail.
[/SIZE]
[B][SIZE=2]We are contacting you through the letter of introduction and Authorisation recieved from MISS MAGRET ROSELINE ODINBA concerning the consignment kept in our security company.We are confirming to you now that the consignment is here in our security company.
The name of the depositor of said consignment box is MR FRANCIS ODINBA . While the next of kin is MISS MAGRET ROSELINE ODINBA. The security code number of the consignment is [COLOR=#ff6666]SSFM/17VQP. And the Deposit code is SSFM/X70/10. The said Consignment was deposited with this Company on the 15 of August 2003 for safe keeping as deposited and labelled as family valuables. [/SIZE][/B]
In conjunction with the agreement signed by her late father who is our customer on the Consignment deposited in our custody here . Obviously she has every right in transfer the said Consignment to whomever she wishes as the beneficiary/Guardian but it must back with some legal documents in which to be sign in your name from the Authority here in Abidjan Ivory Coast as you are the new beneficiary/guardian in other for us to release & transfer the Consignment to your choosen destination.
MISS MAGRET ROSELINE ODINBA has explain the relationship between the two of you to us as a foreign patner for her in claim of the consignment that is in our security company.We have to let you know the normal and legal proceedure to claim this boxes /consignment in our security company.
THE PROCEEDURE
To transfer this consignment to you need to get Two (2) document from the High court and Ministry of justice of Justice of this country Ivory Coast ( cote d’ivoire). it is this two document that will give our Finance and security company here the right to transfer this consignment to you without any problem from nowhere.
1) The document of Affidavit of Aoth from the high court of Cote d’ivoire.
2) The document of Change of Beneficiary from the Ministry of justice of Cote d’ivoire</STRONG>:
It is this document that will enable us to re-profile the name that is use to register this consignment in our security company to your name and we can transfer the consignment to you on your name to your chosen destination within 72 hours of the reception the two documents in our office here.
When we get these Two (2) document we shall make the consignment to be transfer to you immediately through diplomatic means. we want you to get in contact with your local partener here in abidjan to arrange for this three documents needed.make sure you contact your local partner immediately on this issue, because without this two (2)documents we can not transfer the consignment to you. for you to get this documents you will need assistance of a reputable lawyer here in Abidjan[/COLOR][/SIZE]</STRONG> to get this documents for you.
If you need our assistance in this we can proposed to you our lawyer here in the company to you or you can contact your local partner to get you a lawyer who will get this needed document for you here in Abidjan</STRONG>. [B][SIZE=2]Therefore, if may need the assistance of our lawyer to get this documents for you you can have the contact of our lawyer below…
BARRISTER STEVE.ROLAND AKUNA LEGAL FIRM
RUE 12 AVE.16 TRIECHVILLE
TEL… 00225 05 67 55 64
[/SIZE][/B]
EMAIL… s.r.akuna@lawyer.com OR cabinejuridique_steve@yahoo.fr
You can contact him to help you to get the documents for you but if you dont need his assitance you can contact your local, partner to get a lawyer who can help you to get these two documents.
We shall be waiting to hear from you.
Thanks and Regards
MR KENNETH NGUESSAN FRANCIS(operation manager)
00225 07 22 58 25.
Decisions, decisions. Should I draw up some fake ID under Tammy Tatonga’s name and use a photo of Dolly Parton?
Should I tell them that I don’t have a passport because I cannot leave the country? And Maybe I don’t have a driver’s license either…hmmm, what kind of “ID” could I fabricate for them? Sisterhood of stick-art membership card with 
for the photo? Maybe a Scam-baiter membership card with a funny photo of me?
Boy those scammers are really coming out of the woodwork nowadays.
I just put online ads for summer camp and I had someone contact me wanting to buy a summer camp and have it shipped to him in California.
I wonder how I should package that. We don’t want that summer camp to break now do we? How big of a box do you think I will need? 
Maybe what they mean is, they want you to establish another camp in California. Oh, the COST associated with such an enterprise! Not to mention, finding an appropriate venue - AND horses - AND staff! The mind boggles!
This whole thread is so hysterically funny it is worthy of a bump. Especially with so many fresh spam threads coming up lately. Learn and laugh!
From: Donald Peterson xxxxxx@xxx.com
Subject: PONY RIDE LESSON
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@xxx.com
Date: Wednesday, August 19, 2009, 4:59 AM
–
Dear Trainer,
My name is Mr. Donald Peterson. I want my 2 teenage sons coming on vacation to London to join in your Pony ride training. I so much would love their dream come true as very good Horse Riders, and it is my wish to support them morally and financially. I want you to give me your Private Lesson packages and cost respectively for 3 months period.
Additionally, for proximity purposes, knowing the address of your training place will help in choice of accommodation for them.
Best Regards
my reply
From: Arbordale Riding Academy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@xxx.com
To: xxxxx@xxx.com
Sent: Wed, Aug 19, 2009 1:09 pm
Subject: Re: PONY RIDE LESSON
That would be very wonderful, however I am not located in London. I am located in the United States in Juno Alaska. Should you ever decide to visit Alaska then please let me know.
LOL not really, I am in FL. This is the reply I received:
On Wed, 8/19/09, xxxxxxxx@xxx.com <xxxxxxxx@xxx.com> wrote:
[INDENT]From: xxxxxxx@xxx.com <xxxxxxxx@xxx.com>[/INDENT]
[INDENT]Subject: Detail[/INDENT]
[INDENT]To: xxxxxxxxx@xxx.com[/INDENT]
[INDENT]Date: Wednesday, August 19, 2009, 6:17 PM[/INDENT]
[INDENT]Dear Sir[/INDENT]
[INDENT]Thank you for your prompt response and your readiness to take care of my boys. Ferre is 16yrs and Schul is 14yrs. Both speak and understand English, they are beginners with no experience in horse riding. At the moment, they will stay just 1 month and not 3 months as i mistakenly stated in my previous letter. They will be coming to Juno Alaska in US since it is their choice. I will also like them to have 1hour private lessons daily or twice a week in riding and stable management. It depends on what you can offer.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]I want to believe this is the location where the training shall be taking place; arrangement on where they will stay will be taken care of. As for the cost, please let me know the total for the 1 month either for 1hr (daily or twice a week), also what name to write on the check, and the address to mail it to. They will be coming over the moment i conclude th is arrangement with you. I am presently living in Spain due to my work; I travel a lot as my business demands and would like to conclude on this before i travel. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]Thanks in anticipation[/INDENT]
[INDENT]Best Regards,[/INDENT]
[INDENT]Donald Peterson.
[/INDENT]
[INDENT]So this is what I have replied so far…
[/INDENT]
[INDENT]Thank you for your prompt reply. I have some very good news. [/INDENT]
Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, the former Vice Presidential running mate of Senator John McCain in his presidential bid, sponsored a state program for Alaska.
[INDENT]Being an outdoors person, she wanted to share beautiful Alaska with the world and there are government funds available for sponsored foreign tourists that travel to Alaska for the purpose of participating in outdoor recreation.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]If your sons qualify for the Foreign Urban Cooperative Outdoor Frontiersman Fund (FUCOFF) there would be no need to pay tuition. The government would pay for it. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]There would be a simple application that you would complete. I could send the details to you, I am not sure how it works. I do not know if they pay you directly or if they reimburse me. It is brand new legislation that was signed into effect shortly prior to Governor Palin’s resignation from governorship. Your sons would be the first students in my program to come to me from the FUCOFF program. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]I believe Chris Hanson at the National Barrel-horse Coalition Universal (NBC-Universal) has more information on this program. He can be reached at 212-664-4444. You would need to ask for him in person and indicate you are applying for the FUCOFF program. My program code is 1-4M-A-SC4MM3R and you would need to give them that code in order for the funding to take place. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]The funding only covers tuition, not travel costs. The travel costs would be up to you.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]--------------[/INDENT]
Foreign Urban Cooperative Outdoor Frontiersman Fund (FUCOFF)
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
I just got this one…
Hello,
I want to secure your professional service in giving my beloved Kids, Hillary and Maureen some Horse riding training. They are 12 and 9 years old respectively. They are billed for their annual two months summer vacation trip with my wife starting from the 2nd week in September, 2009, So they will need your assistance during their stay for Horse riding training session.
Having sought to contract your service as regard the Horse training exercise, I Want to get the schedule pre-arranged prior to their arrival. Also, do let me know if your service will be available within the specified period? I implore you to make available, a brake down of your training schedule and your payment terms.
Looking forward to reading from you in earnest.
Regards,
Mr.Bryan Blank CLYDE CONSULTING.
11B Horace BuildingChelsea Bridge WharfLondon,
Sw8 4NH E-mail: clydeconsultinguksw84nh@live.com
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with Nextel Direct Connect
Maybe you should offer them the FUCOFF program too.
I was cracking up in general, but really came close to spewing coffee when I got to FUCOFF. I love your spam exploits. I need to start one of my own for entertainment purposes!
amwrider—you are fabulous! I laughed out loud on the FUCOFF program. Wonderful, just wonderful. How do you THINK of these things!?
Another COTH classic has been made.
OMG that made my day!
OMG!!!:lol::lol::lol::lol: You are the Queen of spam replies!!! Thanks for the morning chuckle…
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