Let's Talk Bullying

[SendenHorse]

@Manni01

So is this supposed to prove that I want to see myself as a victim??

and I looked up the expression „don’t you dare" in the dictionary just to make sure. And yes it is described as an expression which is supposed to threaten somebody not to do it… so I was right I was threatened…

Don’t you dare what? What was the threat if you do something? Threaten harm? This phrase with out context is nothing.

Please post the exact conversation, I’m curious. this is the third time I’m asking…

This article is an assesment of the victim mentality, it does not reply on you speficially, no. I am not trying to prove anything, I just thought it was a nice summary.

Quote

Threat, criminal threatening (or threatening behavior) is the crime of intentionally or knowingly putting another person in fear of bodily injury. “Threat of harm generally involves a perception of injury…physical or mental damage…act or instance of injury, or a material and detriment or loss to a person.”

[ladyj79]

Don’t you dare isn’t a threat, it’s a pat phrase unless you are issuing some kind of punishment. Even so “threat” here isn’t necessarily violent? What are we saying here? If I tell my son don’t you dare pull that dog’s ears, am I threatening my son? If I follow it up with a consequence, I suppose that’s a threat, but if the consequence is you have to sit in the high chair for five minutes, I think I’m ok with that.

if someone says don’t you dare, what? Keep responding to a thread? Keep saying you’re being bullied? What’s the consequence another poster can really “threaten” with? Reporting to the mods? Ignoring you with their internal ignore feature?

Words have meaning but they also have nuance and context. We are in many instances on the boards choosing the worst possible intent and interpretation of our fellow posters. This says more about the reader than the writer.

If people want to have another thread on etymology, I think that would be more productive than derailing yet another thread.

If you are confused by what another poster has written, it’s totally cool to ask for clarification. It’s totally not cool to ascribe “feelings” and intent that were never plainly expressed. I believe that causes 99% of the issues here.

[SendenHorse]

Manni if you are worried, please don’t have your name, business, and FB page visible. It did allow me to however block the hell out of you on facebook, so thanks

[sammy14]

@SendenHorse

Manni if you are worried, please don’t have your name, business, and FB page visible. It did allow me to however block the hell out of you on facebook, so thanks

This is doxing.You are telling people that Manni has her info visible.

[KBC]

@sammy14

This is doxing.You are telling people that Manni has her info visible.

:lol::lol::lol::lol: OH My, I had never noticed her signature line, with links until someone pointed it out…color me shocked.

[Manni01]

@ladyj79

Don’t you dare isn’t a threat, it’s a pat phrase unless you are issuing some kind of punishment. Even so “threat” here isn’t necessarily violent? What are we saying here? If I tell my son don’t you dare pull that dog’s ears, am I threatening my son? If I follow it up with a consequence, I suppose that’s a threat, but if the consequence is you have to sit in the high chair for five minutes, I think I’m ok with that.

if someone says don’t you dare, what? Keep responding to a thread? Keep saying you’re being bullied? What’s the consequence another poster can really “threaten” with? Reporting to the mods? Ignoring you with their internal ignore feature?

Words have meaning but they also have nuance and context. We are in many instances on the boards choosing the worst possible intent and interpretation of our fellow posters. This says more about the reader than the writer.

If people want to have another thread on etymology, I think that would be more productive than derailing yet another thread.

If you are confused by what another poster has written, it’s totally cool to ask for clarification. It’s totally not cool to ascribe “feelings” and intent that were never plainly expressed. I believe that causes 99% of the issues here.

I agree with your post!!! Now a little Question, I if I tell you : Don’t you dare to write something. How would you feel?? Totally untouched?? Amused? Angry??

[Manni01]

@sammy14

This is doxing.You are telling people that Manni has her info visible.

Thank you very much for your support!!! But please please don’t take anything serious… it’s not worth it!!!

[Manni01]

@KBC

:lol::lol::lol::lol: OH My, I had never noticed her signature line, with links until someone pointed it out…color me shocked.

I love your posts

[Manni01]

@smoofox

No, it is not wrong, manni. I addressed a specific post that you felt was bullying and said as much. It wasn’t bullying any more than your suggestion that others use that ignore button was…

You seem to see bullying in places where it is not happening… how would you view some of your posts then - if it was not your name on them but someone else’s? A lot of what you have claimed is bullying towards you - is the same way you have posted towards others.

Just something to consider.

Except that I don’t start it…

[KBC]

You know what is funny, or maybe sad…doing a little research, no not stalking, research, and I found this quote

@BellaMia

Exactly that. You [Manni] are continuing to behave in the same way you have over every topic: “Misunderstand Victim” who just happens to understand enough to insult others. That gives people an impression of who you are as that is who you are portraying yourself to be.

That is from way back in 2015…and yet here we are.

[trubandloki]

@sammy14

This is doxing.You are telling people that Manni has her info visible.

It is her signature lines. That she (she = Manni) intentionally put there. They did not just appear there on their own.
No one has to tell anyone that they put their own signature lines in.

[ladyj79]

@Manni01

I agree with your post!!! Now a little Question, I if I tell you : Don’t you dare to write something. How would you feel?? Totally untouched?? Amused? Angry??

If you @Manni01 told me @ladyj79 not to write something, I would be absolutely amused.

I would not view “don’t you dare” from you as a threat, because what could you possibly threaten me with? Even if you legitimately threatened, again, what? To report me? To ignore me? I would be more amused than anything else.

I’m reminded of a mildly amusing thread where one poster did actually did accuse another member of threatening to come burn the other’s house down. It was both amusing and insane. It also didn’t happen, which is to say the “accused” made no mention of threatening to come burn the other’s house down, but the other said something to the effect of “should I be worried you are going to come burn my house down?”

There was of course nothing to suggest that, but there was little to suggest that the speaker literally felt she was in imminent danger of immolation at the hands of another cother. Still, when we presume the worst of each other, it does little to maintain the levels of discourse. And when we use pat phrases or clever turns of phrase, there is always the danger or opening to misinterpretation. I’m wildly clever, in my mind, but often my connections/jokes require explanation in this format. And that makes me so sad hahaha

As an example

If I say Manni don’t you dare quote me! Do you really feel threatened? And if so, what does my statement say the consequences will be if you quote me? Nothing, right? So any threat or consequence is one you (the general you) are making up in your own head.

There’s no harm in asking what someone meant, but maybe also don’t read so much into people’s conversations here that isn’t expressly stated.

And if you ask me why I used the phrase “don’t you dare” I’ll say because it’s a pat phrase, and according to Orwell that indicated my general linguistic laziness. Truth.

[McGurk]

If you actually think someone using the phrase “don’t you dare” in an internet conversation is an actual threat, well, I think your sensibilities are too delicate to participate in internet conversations

[SendenHorse]

@sammy14

This is doxing.You are telling people that Manni has her info visible.

what is doxing?

I can see everyone’s sig, can’t you???

[SendenHorse]

@KBC

You know what is funny, or maybe sad…doing a little research, no not stalking, research, and I found this quote

That is from way back in 2015…and yet here we are.

good catch! I know, I know. this is why I miss the ignore.

THAT was the reason things went south

[trubandloki]

@SendenHorse

what is doxing?

dox
däks
gerund or present participle: doxing

• search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the Internet, typically with malicious intent. "hackers and online vigilantes routinely dox both public and private figures"

[KBC]

@trubandloki

dox
däks
gerund or present participle: doxing

• search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the Internet, typically with malicious intent. "hackers and online vigilantes routinely dox both public and private figures"

Not so sure that someone adding their own details to their own public signature line counts :lol:

[McGurk]

So if an individual publishes their own identifying information, maybe that’s unwise, but it’s not doxing. Unless you think someone can publish their own info with malicious intent towards themselves?

[trubandloki]

@KBC

Not so sure that someone adding their own details to their own public signature line counts :lol:

Clearly our thought of how logic works is different than some other people in the world.

[KBC]

@McGurk

So if an individual publishes their own identifying information, maybe that’s unwise, but it’s not doxing. Unless you think someone can publish their own info with malicious intent towards themselves?

Actually that is a very pertinent question, IF someone had a victim mentality, and I am not saying that in anyway than a general thought…could they indeed have malicious intent toward themselves?