You do not need huge acreage to keep a horse at home. I last evented in 2008. My horse was having soundness issues, and I was looking at paying two college tuitions, so I brought him home and semi-retired him. I have since bought a young horse, who lives at home, and I am playing at dressage. Old horse past away, and I have a pony to keep youngish horse company. I have about 1/4 acre ring/turnout. Pony is in a smaller area. Both seem happy with 24/7 turnout and constant hay and regular meals. You can make it work so long as you put in footing, and you do not let it turn into a mud hole.
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So what I’m hearing is I can move my horse to my .09 total acreage home and keep her in my already fenced in back yard…the kitchen is in the back of the house so we can share breakfast in the morning and I’m sure the neighborhood kids would love to have a new friend. Not sure how the next door neighbor’s little dog will feel about this but he seems pretty friendly. Imma go start planning…
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That might be a bit wee, but every time I feel guilty that my horse only has a 100 X 120 turnout, I go look at the paddocks at most boarding barns. Many are way smaller, and the horses are out way less. The vets, dentists, etc that come to my place think that my guys have it pretty good. Around me, large fields are rare to find at boarding barns, so I do the best I can.
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I did have someone who had two horses on um 1/2 acre or something butting up to a large park. I was a bit jealous but she said she regretted it due to the amount of hay she ended up having to feed. I think it depends on where you are, what you are used to. Around here there is enough grass that feeding hay is an option if you manage/have enough. If you are out west or somewhere where even on 10 acres you would have to hay all the time, it probably isn’t that much different.
In actuality, unfortunately Cecil County dictates that your property has to be at least 1 acre to keep horses on it…you can keep 100 horses on that acre should you want, but at least that one acre. There is someone right on Fair hill with a similar set up to what you describe and while I think their paddock is a bit small, they open a gate and are right on Fair hill and I figure any exercise the horses don’t get in the paddock, I sure would make up for by riding them out every day…if I could afford that place…
Sometimes, especially when I’m getting ready to mow my lawn, I lament not having my pony at home…she would love that grass and would be much easier to just have her keep it “well kept” instead. le sigh…
We actually own 5 acres, but much of it is wetlands. In Southern New England, few boarding barns have the type of pasture that could support a horse, so hay is a necessity.
And people wonder why I love where I live - good grass, not to mountainous, desert, wetlands, not so far north we have major snow storms and one day of summer, not so far south we worry about hurricanes, far enough inland even on the rare occasion a hurricane comes to visit it’s barely a Cat 1 and usually a Tropical Storm by the time it hits…
Plus my bro lives 8 miles away. Not that that’s a draw to anyone but me…but hey…
It’s weird, isn’t it? The stuff that ultimately breaks you.
But I think I’m done, for now.
The snapping point was ultimately watching one particular barnmate go out and win an event on their new horse six weeks after they bought it. Should that sound even more capricious than it ought, there’s a lot more to the story than “one particular barnmate”, but I’m aware of my somewhat dubious pseudonymity and would prefer not to tell tales out of school further. It’s capricious anyway, even with the additional context, but humans sometimes are, me included.
It’s been five years of blood, sweat, tears. Every dime, every bit of not-inconsiderable emotional regulation and equanimity, every free minute. I worked so hard I had a surgery after a surgery (horse-related) because I broke something else while I was trying to stay fit from the recovery for the first. To try and go after my dreams. I held my first horse’s head in my lap while the needle went in, and now the second one is neuro too. Second verse, same as the first.
I realized last week that it had been five years.
It’s been five years and I haven’t made it past beginner novice.
And I think that’s enough, for now, for me. I don’t think I have anything left that I want to give.
I’ve been sitting with that idea for a week or two now, and it feels right.
I had it out with my coach tonight. She thinks my horse is too nice for me to give up. She thinks I should try to stay fit by asking other folks if I can ride, or at least by putting myself out there into the world as someone who’s available to ride. She thinks folks will deliver if I do.
I agree with her. I think there’s a decent chance they would, if I did that. But as Meat Loaf said, a long time ago: I’d do anything for love, but I won’t do that.
She genuinely believes in my not-inconsiderable dreams, still, and she is someone who’s in a position to have an informed opinion. She thinks that my record doesn’t truly reflect my skill, and in all fairness a number of relatively unbiased third parties have agreed with her.
But it all looks the same on the scoreboard, doesn’t it?
So tonight I took the ribbons down, the few I had hanging that meant anything: the three-day completions, the non-primary color with my first mare. Everything has a season; the season right now is to focus on my career again and work on getting to the point where I can have that farm. I’m not too far off, I think.
And then once I do, maybe I will sit on the porch in non-publicly-appropriate clothing with a drink in my hand, unencumbered by the gazes and approbation (or indeed visibility) of neighbors, pastorally enjoying the view of my extremely lovely pasture pet… who will, to be fair, probably mostly be squealing and farting a lot. Or maybe I’ll give it another try after I have the time and space and money to pin my hopes on more than one at a time. Who can say?
I don’t regret any of it. I did it until I could no longer honestly say that I would have no regrets if it didn’t ultimately work out: we pay to ride the ride, not for any particular destination at the end.
But now, I can’t say that anymore. And so, now, it’s time to get off the ride.
Though I didn’t ultimately travel very far, it was a hell of a trip.
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@RooTheDay I feel for you, I truly do. I have been where you are and it sucks. I don’t think the idea to take a step back for a while is a bad one at all. Sometimes life is about re-assessing, re-grouping and moving forward from a place of rest and reflection. Prolonged banging one’s head against the wall is not good for anyone. I totally get you on the heartbreak that is watching others’ dreams come true while yours are ashes in your mouth. It’s a particular kind of despair, and it is human for that to sometimes be what breaks us.
The good news is, this is a lifelong sport. Your dream, or a modified version of it, might not be dead after all. Who knows what life brings us. Go sit on your porch in non-publicly-appropriate clothing, drink your drink. Listen to your pasture pet buck and fart and be stupid. You will try again. How do I know? Because we’re all crazy in this sport, and as Jack said to Ennis in Brokeback Mountain “I wish I knew how to quit you”. But we don’t.
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Wow, I feel this post a lot. While I hadn’t completely given up horses, I took a step back from competing and eventing in general for the past two years. This was after I had 3 career ending/long term rehab situations in the same number of years (all with different horses, so the answer to your question if getting a 2nd will make things easier, it really doesn’t). And of course all happened right when it felt like our partnership was finally thriving and we were ready to move up to the next level. I am very blessed to already have my own farm, but to have 3 “pasture puffs” that should be out competing was soul crushing and heartbreaking.
So instead I decided to take a step back and put my eventing dreams on hold. I bred my lovely mare to give her additional time to recover from her colic surgery and fulfil my dream of raising my own homebred. I bought a 2 year old OTTB to learn how to do the restarting process myself from the beginning. I raised my mare’s foal and puttered around on my young horse in my own arena. I focused more on building my savings and finding some balance between horses and the rest of life. I didn’t go xc for 2 years.
And then I sold my foal and my young horse and I started working my mare again. Slowly, no real goals in mind, just trying to get her body right and enjoy riding again. Slowly peeling back the layers on both her issues and my self doubt and lost confidence. Started jumping again. Went xc schooling and while I was a hot mess and so scared, I realized I had forgotten how much I loved it. We’re still not at the point where I feel we are competition ready, but maybe next year? My mare is feeling better than she ever has in the past and I am hopeful for our future together.
I think I really needed that time to back off, learn to just enjoy my horses again. Take the pressure off of both of us. Time away is not a bad idea, and I hope it will give you time to process, but then hopefully find that spark again.
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You’ve articulated this really well. I’m a journey person. I have a post sharing our challenges; 7 YO fjord with front end tripping/stumbling/fell once with me on board. Last month after switching vets, we found a mineral deposit at the skull/C1 and boney changes at C5, C6, and C7. He also came back with a 1:2000 EPM titer and is currently being treated for that. He’s a metabolic risk so injections are an increased risk. We’re two weeks into the EPM treatment and I’ve noticed no changes with him and suspect it’s the neck issues. He also had some neck stuff that cropped up in Feb which further makes me think that.
I got him as a 3YO in 2020 after a divorce and that decision complete changed my life trajectory for the better. We’ve done a good bit of groundwork from the beginning and are now expanding that out to liberty work and neck rope riding at the walk (mostly) for now. I’m still able to get joy and bonding out of that, and he loves learning so it’s rewarding building on his skills.
If that’s the horse I have for the next 20+ years, as long as he is comfortable and happy, I can live with it.
The place where I’m stuck is between wanting to expedite bringing him home (which would require buying property and likely building and having at least one buddy) vs keep boarding. Boarding right now is ideal other than it’s a 30 min drive from current home. Boarding is the route that financially makes the most sense, but if anything were to change with where we are at, I don’t want to do the barn hopping any more than we have. I’m more at odds about that whole aspect than I am anything else at the moment.
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Roo 
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This sport can be so bitterly, ludicrously unfair. I understand where you’re coming from, right down to resenting other riders for just plain having better luck. I don’t know if it was always like this back in the halcyon days when OTTBs dominated and the real Pony Club ethos prevailed but lately it does feel like a myth that a one-horse, non-independently-wealthy adult ammy can get anywhere.
Personally I’ve spent my entire adult life (so ~15 years) trying to event, yet I haven’t done a recognized horse trial since high school. Luck and money never quite align and you need so damn much of both in this game. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other with my young horse and counting my blessings every day she’s sound because she is my only shot as long as my 24-year-old retired gelding is still around. Because at the end of the day I’d rather do this and be broke than have money and not do this. At least for now. I can pay my credit cards when I’m 70.
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For better, I hope, I truly do believe a lot of this is that we know better now. Back in the day, these horses exhibiting pain behaviors would just be driven through it instead of considering what’s actually causing the animal to behave that way.
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Yeah, back in the day you bought a single saddle that fit YOU, and slapped it on everything with pads to even it out visually. No matter that the saddle was tipped back because it was way too narrow. There were very few bits to choose from - actually far fewer options for everything. Unless the horse was limping lame, he was sound and just behaving badly - you had to “make him more afraid of you than he is of the bushes/ditch/tractor/etc”. You saw the farrier every 8-12 weeks (a 6 week cycle was SHORT), vet only for shots and a bucket of daily dewormer. Feed was cheap, hay was cheap, we didn’t know what we didn’t know about diet related issues. How many PSSM, IR, MFM, and plain malnourished horses were forced to work through their disease? How many were chronically laminitic and we never knew?
I feel as if it was cheaper to keep horses because LIFE was cheaper, but also because we didn’t know nearly as much. There was the Right Way to do things, and if your horse didn’t fit that mold you either forced the issue or quietly sent him to auction or the local slaughterhouse. Fact is, horses didn’t live as long and didn’t have nearly as long of a working life compared to now, in general. We nerved horses and did all kinds of medical “treatments” to keep them sound - even though the treatments would be considered inappropriate now.
We know better. The standard for “sound” has gone up. That’s expensive. I think it’s a good thing, but it still hurts to look at the numbers.
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I tried it with my own for decades and never got above Training.
Years later, I observed a (very good) young rider with a lease horse go out and have a whale of a time, without the angst of ownership.
I’d recommend rethinking the “I could try to lease again but I honestly think I’d rather quit–it’s not satisfying to me unless it’s my horse.” part.
Try leasing (again?) for a season (since it looks like you won’t be competing otherwise!) and see what you feel about it.
Sometimes our dreams have to adjust to our realities.
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My first event horse that I successfully competed with was a lease. He is now retired in my pasture. I have also been “trying on my own” for the past 4 years, with young green horses because that’s all my budget could afford. I haven’t made it past starter level (all due to injuries). I plan for my next horse to be a lease on a Novice packer while simultaneously breeding my mare again for a future eventer for me. I thoroughly enjoy bringing along young horses, but I am really looking forward to getting to borrow an experienced horse for a season or two to get to work on myself and finally break out of my starter level curse!
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Since we are talking about leasing and other alternatives to owning, I thought a perspective from the “other side” might be helpful.
I have had my share of heartbreak - terrible, horse-of-a-lifetime-catastrophe heartbreak, AND never-ending-parade-of-lamenesses heartbreak. I won’t repeat those stories here. But trust me, I, like so many others, know this side of the equation.
My current horse is a freak of nature. I’ve had him 12 years - he will be 19 next year - and in all that time he has been ridiculously hale and hearty. He’s STILL a cheeky monkey at least once a week, and he’s never had a joint injection, much less significant time off for injury. However, he refused to fulfill my plan for him as an event horse due to his everlasting rejection of ditches. So, yeah, we had to develop plan B. I got my USDF Bronze medal on him and hoping to finish off my Silver this coming year at PSG. Plus I did all the riding, with great coaching, so learned a TON about how to progress in this space.
It’s not what I wanted or dreamed but it’s been really rewarding.
Anyway, at some point maybe next year I will step him down, but unless something happens he will need a job, and he’d make a great partner for someone wanting to learn the ropes at dressage, and jump around up to novice level (although not in recognized competitions, unless you like getting eliminated at the ditch). I would LOVE to find someone who needs a good horse and is responsible and trustworthy.
So I hope people who feel disheartened by their own exhausting horse adventures consider looking around for a lease option - it can be healing and fun and there may be just the right match out there for you.
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I’m sorry to hear about the ditch refusal but what an accomplishment. Being game to try new things when Plan A fails is the height of good horsemanship. God knows I’ve had my own reroutes in competitive goals, too. Good luck this coming year, get that Silver. 
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@beowulf that is SUCH a generous post! I’m going to give it my best shot. He seems really happy with the work, which I never would have predicted. I mostly feel like I can’t ride my way out of a paper bag, but since the bag now has tempi changes in it instead of counter canter, I guess that’s progress! It’s been humbling for sure.
This is the second horse I’ve had who made his career change preference clear - they do tell us, if we listen!
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Love this thread. Reading and re-reading posts here, and connecting with many things said, but the recurrent one being that dreams change over time, with rounds and rounds of humblings.
And we learn to look at each moment, maybe, with renewed gratitude for the small things that do work out. And we walk with the constant reminder to ourselves that nothing stays constant and everything can change in a moment, and if we don’t appreciate this ride, these few days of connection, this one opportunity here, or this new door opening unexpectedly there, we might miss the good things altogether.
Horses being quiet and inward, with us as their vocal (and paying) stewards so hugely responsible for their lives, makes the journey ever more special. All the energy spent looking into our four-legged partners, feeling into them, guessing and confirming, and exchanging signals.
Recently I rode a few senior GP dressage schoolmasters at my friend’s before returning home to our 3yr old youngster. I smiled as I brushed his lanky, lean body, smiled at myself at the other end of the journey my friend is at: she’s wondering who to retire and when, and we’re planning in-hand prospect tests for this coming Spring, and Materiale classes. Ours is an eventing type, through and through, while the ones I rode earlier were high-caliber KWPN types with big heads and big hinds and huge hooves. And… I leaned into our 3yr old and felt excited and grateful, all over again, even if he turns out to be more of an eventer than anyone had expected.
It’s the season of gratitude… learning to go with the flow.
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