Sarah616: My parents did, why? I am wanting to pay them back as soon as I get a job.
Then I’m calling 100% BS on them not supporting you. I didn’t get my first horse until I could pay for it myself. I bought all of my tack. They did provide me a helmet, because you know, safety. They were happy I had a hobby but they weren’t going to pay because it’s expensive. I found a way to make it work. So regardless of all of the “I Cants” that you’re throwing out, DO NOT say your parents don’t support you. That’s just rude.
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7997939]
Okay I’m sorry. I think everyone is taking this wrong, but what I meant is this: I am in a situation in which I am not able to drive, my mom and dad are totally out of this picture (they both work, and will not support me),my friend also works, (also, I don’t feel comfortable doting on her, as she’s done a lot for us) and the nearest lessons would be very far away. I did not try to say “I can’t”, but I hope now that you see how I stand… as far as me saying “e.g., fancy training barns.” I’m sorry, I meant any lesson barns, as to me, they seem fancier, since I am not used to them,did not grow up with them either. It is like a grandpa seeing his teenage grandson with a phone, he would also think “Wow, cool, must be fancy”. 
Yes, sorry for this poor illustration! But I hope you understand what I meant? I’m not better than anyone,or better without anything either, as far as I know. I am learning, and continue to learn alot. My friend is practically the only source we have,other than books,videos,any other form of help, but I soak it all in, and try to use it,if I’m able!
ETA:
I’m also using all the resources I have.[/QUOTE]
Bolded emphasis is mine.
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7997955]
So…you want me to break the law and drive, when the lessons are very far away, and expect my parents to pay after forcing them to bail me out of jail for driving under the law,much less without an adult? And especially when my parents said no (and have been saying no) to the lessons? Can you please tell me how possible that is? I’m not trying to be nasty, that’s the farthest from my intentions.[/QUOTE]
You’re not being nasty, but perhaps dramatic. Would your parents take you to the library? Hopefully lots of good books there or the ability to get them for you so you wouldn’t have to pay for books and DVDs.
Have you tried talking to your neighbors, or finding people within distance to you? Networking can be very useful. There was a girl who bought an unstarted pony secretly, hid it from her mom, and through her tenacity, drive, etc went to pony finals with her little jumper. Now, I’m not saying do any of that, but it is just to tell you that it is up to you. This girl had no trailer, but talked to people, and they wanted to help her. (She also didn’t have money, she babysat and saved and learned to barefoot trim so she didn’t need a farrier. She made it happen.) So that is why I say try networking and getting to know people around you.
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7997955]
So…you want me to break the law and drive, when the lessons are very far away, and expect my parents to pay after forcing them to bail me out of jail for driving under the law,much less without an adult? And especially when my parents said no (and have been saying no) to the lessons? Can you please tell me how possible that is? I’m not trying to be nasty, that’s the farthest from my intentions.[/QUOTE]
And you had an opportunity to get a job, which you refused. You don’t think MAYBE if you got a job and paid for the lessons and/or gas yourself maybe, just MAYBE, your parents would be more amicable to lessons?
[QUOTE=dungrulla;7998002]
And you had an opportunity to get a job, which you refused. You don’t think MAYBE if you got a job and paid for the lessons and/or gas yourself maybe, just MAYBE, your parents would be more amicable to lessons?[/QUOTE]
Bet they would. You’ll be able to drive in less than a year, and by then you would have had enough saved up from working, but now, magically, you can’t even work at the one place your parents agreed to let you work.
I’m probably going to get bashed, but I’ve never taken a lesson in my life. I watched, read, asked lots and lots and LOTS of questions, and watched other riders how they handled their horses, the little touches and gentle lifts of the hands and fingers and such, how they remained calm when the horse was, well, having a horse fit moment. I’m not a great rider, I just do trails. Wont show, scared to jump anything higher than a log on the trail and don’t have good enough seat and hands for dressage. I’ve tried to get on a lot of different horses, get the feel for horses with different buttons. I like to think I have some balance and light handed, and I can sit her spooks, bolts and rears (but bucks are another story…) Could I use lessons? Of course. Is it mandatory or necessary? Maybe. But I’ve had several people tell me, people who I look up to as great riders who have had schooling and years more experience than me, tell me they think I’m a good rider, they think I’ve had lessons. I really think I look like a ungraceful baboon on my horse, but we fit and go down the trail happily together.
Not taking lessons does not make someone unfit to be a horse owner, and I do admit that when that is implied it rattles my doors. I think that people can learn in many ways, and doesn’t have to be one on one lessons. Now, if I wanted to do dressage, I wouldn’t be able to without lessons, as much as I watch videos and read blogs or ask questions. But to trail ride, eh, I’m happy.
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7995886]
Yes, I live in MT, the land of rugged beauty, and yes, in a lot of places, we don’t have ‘much’, (e.g., fancy training barns, a high society horse-life)
[/QUOTE]
OP, everyone here wants you to succeed. Trust me on that one.
I hope that you can see by these quotes how we’re having trouble taking some of your comments seriously, when you say one thing and then backtrack trying to say that you meant something completely different. I have a hard time believing that you meant “fancy” in the sense of innovative when you clearly coupled it with the words “high-society”. Please just be honest with us, and if you regret saying something, many of us prefer to acknowledge that rather than try to twist words around. We all make mistakes, and sometimes we do need to clarify our words if they have been misinterpreted.
I hope that you will be able to find a horsey friend whose parents would be willing to swing by and pick you up so that you can at least watch some lessons, or spectate at a barrel racing competition, or whatever it is that you want to learn. It’s a tough lesson to learn the difference in results between saying “I can’t” and “I will find a way”.
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7997939]
Okay I’m sorry. I think everyone is taking this wrong, but what I meant is this: I am in a situation in which I am not able to drive, my mom and dad are totally out of this picture (they both work, and will not support me),my friend also works, (also, I don’t feel comfortable doting on her, as she’s done a lot for us) and the nearest lessons would be very far away. I did not try to say “I can’t”, but I hope now that you see how I stand… as far as me saying “e.g., fancy training barns.” I’m sorry, I meant any lesson barns, as to me, they seem fancier, since I am not used to them,did not grow up with them either. It is like a grandpa seeing his teenage grandson with a phone, he would also think “Wow, cool, must be fancy”. Yes, sorry for this poor illustration! But I hope you understand what I meant? I’m not better than anyone,or better without anything either, as far as I know. I am learning, and continue to learn alot. My friend is practically the only source we have,other than books,videos,any other form of help, but I soak it all in, and try to use it,if I’m able!
ETA:
I’m also using all the resources I have.[/QUOTE]
Just curious how you are home schooled if both your parents work? No need to reply.
This thread is beyond absurd.
This thread is like a never-ending train wreck in sssssllllllloooooowwww motion.
As I live in Montana I’m PMed the OP hoping to help. I don’t have any great insights beyond what’s already been offered to help the OP. She told me that her parents are adamantly opposed to her getting ANY help and bought her horses so she can have fun.
I agree with those who continue to call out the OP regarding her passive aggressive responses. I find her quite defensive for someone who posts a thread entitled PLEASE HELP.
As an aside, I’ve lived in many places all over the US and am now in Montana. I don’t want everyone to get the impression that the populous here is backwards, uneducated, or stuck in a time warp! There is absolutely a laid-back western culture here, however, there are a plethora of highly educated, worldly and insightful people. There are some ‘fancy’ (to use the OP’s lingo) barns in the state. They aren’t Old Salem Farm, but they are quite nice. So please don’t read this thread and come away thinking that Montana is full of ignoramuses!
As pertaining to having a job.
It is AGAINST THE LAW for fifteen year old children to work for pay. Any retail store who hired a fifteen year old would be breaking the law (with the exception for a family member who is below 16 years old working in a family business.)
Also, according to the law, absent abuse (physical or sexual) a minor is expected to obey his/her parents so long as what the parents demand is legal. This includes prohibitions of commuting by bicycle on roads that the parents deem unsafe or engaging in any activity the parent does not agree with.
I applaud Wish’s willingness to obey her parents even if it does cause her some inconvenience in attaining her goals.
I really hope that Wish will keep us updated occasionally through the next several years as she get to the age where she can legally commute to a job and legally earn money. Hopefully her parents will recognize her drive to become the best horsewoman/rider that she can be and allow her to take lessons with a good horseperson. If they don’t, it will take Wish a few more years to achieve her goals since legally, as long as her parents have custody of Wish, they can dictate how Wish is allowed to spend the money she earns. If they say no to lessons it is too bad. Legally, religiously and morally Wish is expected to obey them until she reaches her majority.
Hang in there Wish. One day you will be able to control your destiny.
I would be proud to have a daughter like you.
Well, at this point with the internet so handy, she could at least be an expert at and able to teach us all a thing or two about Fistula Withers. I know if my horse had it, I would be researching it so that I knew all I could from reputable sources like Vet manuals, and College websites and papers.
That doesn’t cost anything, it’s not illegal, and I don’t think she would be disobeying her family by doing so, would she?
That’s interesting, considering, you know, every single child actor in the universe.
ETA: Also, according to the federal child labor laws, 14 and 15 year olds can work in a retail capacity such as cashier, shelf stocker, etc. They can also cook in restaurants as long as it is not over open flame. They are not allowed to work in a freezer but may enter a freezer for the purpose of retrieving items. Etc etc and so forth.
Manufacturing or other things deemed hazardous or operating power driven machinery is out until they are 18.
Yes, I forgot the artistic exemptions.
When a child actor earns money, his or her parents or guardian have complete control over whether the child has any access to the money he/she earns, and, if the child has access to his/her money the parent/guardian has the final say on how the child spends the money the child earns while the child is a minor.
Yes, I forgot the artistic exemptions.
When a child actor earns money, his or her parents or guardian have complete control over whether the child has any access to the money he/she earns, and, if the child has access to his/her money the parent/guardian has the final say on how the child spends the money the child earns while the child is a minor.
[QUOTE=Jackie Cochran;7998275]
Yes, I forgot the artistic exemptions.
When a child actor earns money, his or her parents or guardian have complete control over whether the child has any access to the money he/she earns, and, if the child has access to his/her money the parent/guardian has the final say on how the child spends the money the child earns while the child is a minor.[/QUOTE]
Again, no.
See:
Coogan Law, plus the various additions to it that SAG lobbied for in 2,000.
However, OP is not a child actor but was, I believe, contemplating work in A STORE, which activities are allowed under federal law as of the age of 14.
[QUOTE=meupatdoes;7998284]
Again, no.
See:
Coogan Law, plus the various additions to it that SAG lobbied for in 2,000.
However, OP is not a child actor but was, I believe, contemplating work in A STORE, which activities are allowed under federal law as of the age of 14.[/QUOTE]
14 and 15 year olds may be legally able to work but very few places will hire them and there are restrictions on the hours they work. My dd is 17 and works around 20 hours a week. She brings home around $75-$100/week. After she buys gas she has about $25-$50 for spending money. So if the OP did work, there wouldn’t be a lot for lessons even if they were available.
OP, I haven’t read all of the replies nor yours. Basically your first and a couple of comments after.
If you lived around here I would be happy to take you under my wing. 6 months to a year later if you made it through my “boot camp” you’d leave with a life time of confidence that would carry you through many walks of life not just horses. Because IMO everything kind of goes hand and hand, everything is interconnected one way or another.
I’s not “pony club” around here. It’s the real deal no sugar coating.
[QUOTE=wireweiners;7998346]
14 and 15 year olds may be legally able to work but very few places will hire them and there are restrictions on the hours they work. My dd is 17 and works around 20 hours a week. She brings home around $75-$100/week. After she buys gas she has about $25-$50 for spending money. So if the OP did work, there wouldn’t be a lot for lessons even if they were available.[/QUOTE]
Is there a reason you are lecturing me about this?
OP, not me, was the one who claimed that there was a store that was willing to hire her.
OP is the one who claimed that she initially didn’t like the job and thus passed on it, but now OP claims she wants it afterall (so apparently you will also have to discuss with her whether the compensation is worth it, since OP now thinks it is), but it has in the meantime been filled by other people who also wanted the job and did think the compensation was worth it.
Meanwhile, OP’s other posts indicate that she is home schooled, which apparently involves sitting at home by herself in the middle of the day posting on COTH while both her parents are at work, so one hazards the guess that she could fit in more than 20 hours a week at the alleged willing-to-hire-15-yos store, but still, just $200 of spending money a month after gas ain’t too shabby and I suspect the going rate for training in the area is not $150 a lesson (which lessons, btw, OP is the one claiming she desperately wants but her parents won’t get for her), either.
But again, these are all OP’s claims, not mine, so you will have to argue about them with her.
Here we go again - coth posters showing their less than charitable sides.
Really classy.
