I’d like to give you the opportunity to attempt to express yourself in a different way, just in case there’s actually something that you could give that might be a huge breakthrough for me. Please, attempt to try to reword what you were trying to say, I would like to hear what you have to say.
Well, I mean, you guys have been on this forum for a good minute 
Talk it out with them. Don’t feel like you can’t or shouldn’t say anything. Chin up. It will get better, and maybe you’ll find something you never would have considered before. When I was your age, if someone told me I’d be in the military and loving it I would have thought that person insane. Life has a way of working out.
Well, not being a health professional in the fields that you need help, that part I was not addressing.
That you want to be a professional in the horse world, that is what I was talking about, as that was part of your post and we are part of horse forums.
Plus wishing you the best, always.
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I completely overlooked this when you posted, I apologise. Pushing myself has been my biggest problem and I’ve had to learn from my physical therapists, doctors, surgeons, and therapists that pushing myself too far in recovery is going to be counterproductive. I just want to badly not to be crippled anymore, but I’ve learned patience in the last few months, and I’m attempting on building upon that.
That speaks volumes to me. I’ve considered having a main career that’s non-horsey and having a home training operation on the side, and I think I’m seriously considering that. I think I’m going to go to state trooper academy (worst case scenario, I learn a lot about road laws and I get ultra-fit, best case scenario I work as a state trooper for a few years until I get back on my feet in the real world) and get a job as a trooper, and have an import business at home.
Thank you. Have you had any significant injuries you’ve had to overcome in riding? If so, what did you do to handle them, and what was your plan to get back in the saddle? Even if you’ve had only a moderate injury (broken ribs, broken foot, etc.) I would like to hear about your experiences.
Yeah, no, read what I said again and that’s it. I’m not speaking for everyone in this forum… I was only reacting to Bluey in my post. Bluey has trained a lot of horses. I was just saying that what Bluey said was not said out of malice. That’s it.
You never know. For now, focus on doing one thing better than yesterday. You have a long road ahead of you. Most important: be honest with yourself about what you can handle. That is the only way to get better. After my accident I needed to have my then SO bathe me. I cried every time. I had to re learn how to walk. That was humbling.
Will you be able to ride? Who knows? It’s a bitter pill to swallow that’s for sure. It also doesn’t mean you can’t be involved in horses. The best part of my day is seeing my horse, kissing her muzzle and doting on her. If I am too scared to ride that day because she is hotter than Hades oh well. I still get to dote and kiss her muzzle. Is her talent being “wasted”? Yep. But she’s mine and I get to dote and kiss her muzzle.
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The answer is yes - there are many top level competitors that were severely hurt and have gotten back to the top… recent examples might include William Fox-Pitt in eventing and Nick Skelton in show jumping… but there are also some who ended up retiring sooner than maybe they would have liked. It’s very individual. Those two have the advantage of being at the top of the sport and having people able to support them there. Both had very dire prognoses at one point and both rode at Rio.
Will you be able to ride again and compete at some level? Most likely yes, if you can get good medical care and good coaching support to help you rebuild past your limitations. Scribbler gave you wonderful advice and I hope you will keep it close.
Don’t limit yourself to jumping or even dressage if those sports don’t fit your physical needs. Competitive trail and distance riding are great sports, reining, driving, there are many that will test your intellect, your horsemanship, and your body in different ways. Dressage might be attractive to you now because there’s not jumping, but it’s maybe not the right sport for someone with a damaged back, given the need to sit a big, powerful trot at the middle and upper levels.
If you are interested in dressage, you can get various accommodations due to physical issues - like a letter to allow you to post instead of sit the trot, and depending on your limitations, you could even see if you are eligible for paradressage.
Competing at the top level is dangled at each of us when we are young… but from the perspective of someone older who used to have that dream, I think maybe it’s not the wondrous existence we assumed as kids. To ride at that level is about more than mere technical excellence in riding or the hard work to get better - it’s also about being on the road all the time, soliciting sponsors, and generally getting the money and horses to stay there. It’s also not always the best career for someone who loves horses… because when your rent payment depends on a horse being foot-perfect, it can be hard to do what is best for that horse in that moment.
I think you also should not give up on your education. Do what you must to pass the GED so you have a high school equivalency by exam. The work you have to do to complete that will benefit you as a professional horseman, which is a sport and profession that will also exercise your brain.
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So… you had a brain injury at 10, but we’re back in the saddle riding two weeks later. Then ANOTHER BRAIN INJURY, and three cracked vertebrae at 14… but you recovered and were jumping 1.5 meters at home, on homebreds when you were 16. Then something happened, and you fell off when you were 17, had another head injury, a 10 minute seizure, they diagnosed you with a “neurodegenerative disease” that is like both MS and Parkinson’s… predicted you would be wheel chair bound by 30, but somehow… you battled back to ride again. But your brain issues are bad and you just couldn’t graduate high school or hold down a regular job, and you have anxiety and panic attacks. You just went through knee surgery, need back surgery soon… but are holding out hope you will be able to make a comeback as a professional rider and Grand Prix jumper?
At the same time, you are struggling with chronic pain, and say you are on pain meds now. But… you’re thinking about becoming a state trooper? And starting up a horse import business, involving you importing Green warmbloods from Europe and retraining and selling them to local hunters for a profit? But only as a sideline to the state trooper career?
Do I have this correct? Or am I missing something?
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Two people who have inspired me due to their own personal experiences with head injuries are Silva Martin and Darren Chiacchia - the latter whom I almost had the chance to ride under, but he completely loathed my mother for reasons I now totally understand.
Whatever happens will happen, and I’m not all-consumed by the prospect of riding upper level again, though I would very much like it. I do want to have some sort of career with performance horses, but as someone else pointed out, I don’t have to compete myself, and I don’t necessarily even have to ride.
What happened with your Mom and Darren Chiacchia?
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I highly recommend that as a strategy. Riding as a career is a very physical activity, and it is also unforgiving. It’s unforgiving to your physical limitations, and it’s in its own way unforgiving to the horses as well. I thought I wanted to be a professional, but after a pro sat down with me and very kindly and explicitly explained the advantages of being an amateur rather than as a workday professional, I did end up pursuing a real career. And truly, I have probably achieved more as an amateur rider than I would have had I taken that barely-paid assistant trainer position.
You say that you can’t write, but actually it seems to me that you can, and that you express yourself clearly and with organization, and at a fairly fast pace as well. If you wanted to be a writer, I think that is a path open to you, even. It’s not always the best paid career but on the other hand it can be self-directed and it can be compatible with a body that isn’t cooperative. As with everything else, finding a trusted, capable mentor is key to success.
With the ability to self-publish, there are a lot of fiction horse book authors out there and some of the titles are pretty good. Some I might suggest to you are:
Last Junior Year, by Barbara Morgenroth
The Dressage Chronicles, by Karen McGoldrick
Summer Circuit by Kim Ablon Whitney
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Apparently I thought I had explained this to the point that it would be easily understood, but apparently not. I’ll try to go through and correct as much as I can but you’ve gotten the story a little mixed up.
I’ve had a total of 7 concussions, including three TBIs. The brain injury I had at 10 was one of my more significant ones. It didn’t really cause me pain, but it had started the irreparable damage of my brain.
My worst brain injury was in 2012 and I had compression fractures in three of my vertebrae - T2, T3, and T4 in 2013, along with another head injury. Two separate incidents. It was the continued riding and extensive physical activity that exacerbated that injury so badly. I didn’t know I had even fractured it until a year later when I had an MRI on my thorassic spine because I wasn’t able to completely straighten out my back one morning and had to go to the hospital. I have never jumped 1m50. As I stated in my original post, the highest I’ve ever jumped is 1m45, and those were only single fences. Highest courses I’ve jumped are 1m40.
Again, as stated in my post, I wasn’t jumping 1m40 until I was 16. I was jumping 1m25 in 2013, when I fractured my spine.
At 17 I was bucked off of one of my green horses when he was stung by a bee. I fell and landed on my head, aggravated the spinal injury, and had a very bad seizure. They did an MRI on my brain and my legs (I was temporarily paralysed in my left leg and they couldn’t figure out why) and found degeneration (continued brain damage) in the brain and neurodegeneration (nerve damage) in my legs and my spine. I was diagnosed with a neurodegenerative brain disease that was caused by the numerous head injuries I’ve had. I have the same symptoms that MS patients have.
Having a neurodegenerative disease makes it difficult but not impossible to do things in the early stages. Yes, I will eventually be in a wheelchair as this is a progressive disease, like MS, but I still have a good 10 years before it gets bad enough that I won’t be able to walk.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do Grand Prix again. I’d be happy doing the 1m20 jumpers and placing in the money for a little while and then just training and selling horses for a living.
Yes, I am struggling with chronic pain due to my injuries and having a serious neurological disease. Yes, I’m on pain medication - I’ve said numerous times, I just had major surgery 9 days ago. Having a neurological disease doesn’t prevent me from being able to be active. Maybe you should read up on successful people with diseases like MS and Huntington’s - once you learn how to handle the chronic pain and the obstacles you have to overcome with the symptoms you suffer from, then you can be active for the early stages of the condition. I’ve known two professional riders with MS.
If you’d read through the other comments I wrote, I believe I touched upon something another poster had said, I think it was about “not having sufficient supervision while riding and training when I was younger” - which was 100% correct. My mother allowed me to ride at a level higher than I was ready for, on a very hot horse, starting from age 13, so my mother wasn’t…the most diligent and caring of mothers. Darren had an issue with how intrusive, blatantly disregarding to my health and safety, and how she didn’t have any regard for my career and how her actions affected my reputation in the horse world.
I used to be an incredibly intelligent girl (not to toot my own horn - I was actually smart enough to have a MENSA card), so I may seem articulate, but compared to how intelligent and talented I was with writing and other mental abilities, I am stupid. I am a moron compared to the person I used to be. I’m also on medications right now that help with my mental function, and this is one of my good days. I have an issue with expressing myself through words 99.9% of the time, and I forget the words for things a lot of the time, and due to the head injury, I have a symptom that causes me to switch words in my brain (for example, instead of saying “I’m going to vacuum the carpet,” I’ll say “I’m going to microwave the carpet.” I have a lot of other issues that hinder me in everyday life and in education and work environments, but I’m trying to find some sort of program locally for people with TBIs and with brain disorders, so that I can re-learn at least some aspects of being a successful human being and having a normal life.
Thanks for clarifying. I probably should read up more on serious neurological diseases in successful people. It can be inspiring for sure.
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It’s incredible, the things some people are able to do with some horrible diseases. I also had a friend who had a mother that was past early stages of MS and she was a full-time ER nurse. Some people are machines
Sorry about the issues with your mother. That’s an interesting story about Darren Chiaccia.
