I CAN’T have some doting child wipe off his mouth, he’s SUPPOSED to have spittle all over his mouth!!! that is our dilemma and our quest. he has abnormal front teeth and can’t fully close his mouth, and he simply cannot stand to have the ‘‘nice frothy’’ mouth wanted in the dressage ring.
well, when Mouse the Evil Terrier of Unknown Origin bit THROUGH bern’s nostril and pierced it (i have the only punk warmblood, most of them like to sit around in lederhosen and watch reruns of ‘‘Polka Time’’), i swathed his muzzle with vaseline and the results were a much more spectacular version of the ‘‘no-actually-i-don’t-have-to-put-my-head-down-to-wipe-my-face’’, such that would threaten to catapult me OFF the neck where i already was to hanging AROUND the neck with my legs wrapped securely (in a very classical position) round the neck and my hands hanging onto his ears.
Mouse, after urinating all over the back of a reclining Pony Club mom, died of terminal meanness, but today, if my horse sees a black and white small dog, he starts bellowing like a dragon, steam comes freely out of his ears and nose, his neck GROWS upward, and he starts bouncing up and down yelling, ‘‘LET ME KILL HIM! LET ME KILL HIM!’’
i am at a loss. perhaps divine intervention, praying to St. Christopher (the patron saint of decent riding) or just doing what i NORMALLY DO when ALL ELSE FAILS, which is to go to a hindu temple, PAY FOR A PUJA TICKET, and ask Shri Venkateshwara to DO THE RIGHT THING.
and he always does.
once, i prayed for a safe trip to india, and during the trip i was forced at gunpoint (in the throat) in rome to allow my camera to go thru the x-ray machine (no-ah hand-a search-a ofa di camera ina italia), forced down in bombay for 22 hrs without food or water and practically ra*ed by some drunk, chased by my friend’s deranged brother, threatened by an irate singer, AND almost crushed and pinched to death at a festival. on the way back i became ill and crashed to the floor unconscious in the calcutta airport, and remember only dimly the soldiers saying, ‘‘don’t TOUCH HER, she’s probably a DRUG ADDICT!’’
when i returned to my town, i immediately went to shri venkateshwara and said ‘‘WHAT GIVES!’’.
he said, ‘‘you want i should have made it worse already?’’