“Alas,” Merry says, “I hate to tell you all, but I’ve sacrificed the last of the koi already. I filleted them and made them into carp jerky.”
Merry notices the looks of utter astonishment and revulsion on her comrades’ faces. “Hey, look, at least this way we can still enjoy the koi long after they’re gone. I mean, during 4th of July celebrations we can be chawing on some carp jerky, savoring its salty crunchiness, while oohing and ahhing at the fireworks.” 
Hey, I needed my arena back, okay? 
And, in proper wake form, Willem will be wearing his black PolyPad under his black tack (being as he is a dressage kind of guy) as we wake.
Canada: What went wrong? 
ROTFLMAO!!! Right up there with:
Canadian as: possible under the circumstances! 
Aha, we’re ready, old snowboard. Merry’s mare, what a nice girl she is. A little on the plump side, tho. But aren’t we all after this wake? 
Okay lets let her rip. Good lord, look at that rooster tail of mud? Hang on A/A…Geez that girl’s got moxie. Oops, oh well there goes some of the Koi. You know Beezer, with the Lab chasing her, this could become exciting. And what is up with that knife? OMG, there’s something glarey in my eyes…What is that?
Beezer, happily ruminating (warning! inside QHSM joke for Merry … who has now collapsed on the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter ) over her fajitas and margaritas about this mud scam … PLAN! … is really beginning to get a feeling that this could work.
SauveReno would seem to have the perfect name as the pitchwoman. Merry covered in poopy mud … Beezer would PAY to see that. Rusty and Weeble lending their “dirty” talents.
“Hmmmm…” ruminates Beezer, stroking her imaginary beard. (Merry: stop laughing, pick yourself up off the floor, woman!) “I do think this could work. We could all be rich! RICH!!”
And that would be a fitting tribute to the coat of many threads.
But don’t you think we need an SPF factor in the mud masque? Especially since William the Shat is back and wearing the masque? One has to protect said topline! Along the same line, if in fact we earn 6 digits we could sponsor our own GP. The Mud Masque Phenomenon with William the Shat as co-chair. He would love that. Strumming little vinettes,(sorry for the poor spelling, dictionary from '84) humming, not singing…sorry elizabeth but the vocals just .have to go.
Weeb’s we could give the Mud Packs as little gifties to the exhibitors. Along with some lovely coupons and bags.
Oh lord, she’s off!! Beezer do something! We’re trying to force these, OMG sandwichs, a loose generalization, into our mouths. BLAH!!! Not enough mayo or relish to off this taste. Yes, Merry we belieeeeve you. We swear!! Wty nervously jangles her bracelet, hoping the sound will soothe Merry. rusty more margaritas, pleeease. Elizabeth, try and find something for Merry. A/A who backed up to the surf, has handed her Koi salad sandwich to the rolling waves. The group backs slowly from Merry’s tirade towards the water mark.
Yes, WHOA! Way to do it.
Now what I will do is agree with you politely -“Yes, WHOA, you guys sure know how to do wakes” - then I will scurry to the corner of the funeral parlor and mutter rude comments about you to my friends.
Thus keeping the under current of discord in the air. . . .
(At the post-wake gathering, we can drink ourselves silly and cry in our beer over the loss of the Merry Thread and then hug each other and make up. Does that sound about right?)
[I]elizabeth, elated at being vindicated, yet finally overwhelmed by the indignation she has suffered, climbs up onto the buffet table, stepping smack-dap in the middle of the artichoke dip. JRT go flying.
“You are darn tooting right I had nothing to do with it,” elizabeth shouts, as the crowd silences, stunned at the outburst from the otherwise demur elizabeth. “I want an apology from those who were TACKY about giving ME a hard time about daring (DARING) to suggest (IN TEASING, for Pete’s sake) that the thread has run its course. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Tacky. De classe! Kind of like wearing black stockings DURING THE DAY!! Be woman enough to appologize!!”
coreene quietly steps up to elizabeth, gives her a little squeeze, and hands her a margarita. Elizabeth raises the glass to her lips, with a shakey hand, and waits for the passion to subside.[/I]
Thanks, coreene, for setting the record straight. I’m not going to lie to you, though. As well as I try to hide it, I still harbor resentment toward those less-perceptive types who raged (raged, for the love of Pete) at me for trying to close the thread. 
I’ll be alright - my new affirmation is “it’s them, not me.”
O.k., now where were we? Oh, yes, Merry was going to change out of her cashmere into her leopard print unitard and re-join us. Oh, and, Beezer was going to go out to attach the JRTs to the hot walker to burn off the artichoke dip. . . .
I’m <<wheeze>> back with the <<gasp>> tort. It’s . . . chocolate.
Beezer just KNEW that Elizabeth would be able to help us set up the scam-plan! And I think Cypress would make a lovely equine model for our mud packs! It could be both a therapeutic agent for those sore jumper muscles and a beauty product for riders!
“As for the necessary deity to qualify for that religious tax exemption – which I think is QUITE the stroke of genius, Elizabeth,” Beezer says with a grab for the tray of taquitos the waiter wandered by with, “I think we already have one. We’re the cult of Fleet Apple!”
Beezer suddenly leaps up on her chair. “Bye, AAJumper! Good luck negotiating all the swollen rivers that pass for our freeways these days on your way to Indio! Do the clique proud!”
Just as Merry and the cult— ah, non-profit group— were about to leave, they sink back down in the restaurant booth. “Why, AAJumper, we were truly thinking of you! On March 9th, we shook our collective curb chains as we said a silent prayer for you. Did you feel the vibes? And, sandstorm you say? We thought you’d be drenched in rain!”
We like the idea of the collection of exotic Muck Muds: “Brought to you from all points on the A show circuit! Each Muck Masque contains its own rare, exotic blend of local bio-offerings.” I think William the Shat could pull that off!
(You know, we may actually be on to something here, folks!) 
LOVE the idea of koi sushi, LOL! And the logo merchandise! If dang Closet World can have a dancing closet man, we can have a dancing Muck Mascot! But who or what will it be?
Now, we all want to know more about Indio, AAJumper! Was the sandstorm really all day? Were classes really shuffled around? How were the hunters doing? And yet, people will go back again next year!
I’ll be the first entry for “Hack and Snack With Jack” … the terrieristas will make a grab for everyone’s snack pack. She who manages to protect hers with the most panache wins! 
“So,” Beezer muses, “this is how this late-night posting works … and she’s glad SOMETHING is working, 'cause Beezer sure isn’t … working, that is, even though she is at work.” And not getting an iota of said work done, she might add. “Reporters … can’t can’t kill 'em. No matter HOW hard you try.”
“Excuse me! Young man, come here!” she screams, donning her Miss Bossy Boots persona yet again.
The poor fellow runs over and she points to the Vuitton traveling cases.
“Please, send these to the COTH BB Movie set,” she barks. “NOW! Where is the limo? Did you place the order for onboard lunch with Il Fornaio like I told you?!”
She begins mumbling to herself - again - about the lack of good help these days and not being able to find a young whippersnapper cutie patootie when she needs one the most.
“Okay ladies, let’s blow this taco stand!” she laughs, and points (with very long red nails, of course) to the arriving limo. “We’re going to the set!”
She then waves at the few remaining as she bids a fond farewell to the wake, relieved that at last she found out What Happened To Kimmie.
Well Rusty. Margarita’s sound fine here but where did everyone else go??? I’m still
Put that down Merry. You have to share it!! My word, leave for an instant, the pizza’s almost gone! Of course the wake is still going. Good grief, they usually last for a week. Where have you people been, priceline.com?
So since we now have direct delivery, and Merry has finally changed out of that sweater, continue on.
Beezer, Elizabeth tell the preacher to please get out of the casket!! Enough, it is not a couch.
No, this is not how we are going to end things.
I’m Italian - we need to weep at the gravesite for hours, saying things like “What am I gonna do without you.”
As to the tack sale, well, you can just hitch back. I’m staying here with the truck.
Just so that we are clear - we can’t call Bill “Shat.” That just makes him sound like a 22 y.o. fraternity boy.
And, quite frankly, not to be demanding, but I’m not thrilled w/ rubbing his bald head with mud. Didja see the episode of Seinfeld where George gets his bald head rubbed w/ massage oil by some home healthcare worker? Ickkkkkk.
O.k., I must go now to work, where people expect me to work. Unreasonable. Just unreasonable.
Wty’s fingers are now furiously dialing. Oh pleeeeease elizabeth answer the phone!! Help, we need help!! She screams into the cell. Not only has Merry verbally abused Canadians, on the air, but now Beezer is trying to save the QVC segment and unleashed the Jack Russells. Oh and by the way, that crazed lab has the knife again. WHO gave it to him???
Arlies rug is now torn into a thousand strands of frazzled hair. Dogs jumping, Merry has a glazed look, Beezer seems to be enjoying this. Bea is still waving her arms frantically, which makes the dogs think she’s throwing something. They dive into the camermen, knocking down stage sets, upheaving microphones, ohhh the cost of it all. “Oh my lord”,screeches Bea, they have jumped into the cooking show which was due to open for the next hour!! Bob what’s his name has a very perplexed look, as his Belgium Waffles on the special anadized waffle iron, are being wolfed down by 3 narly looking dogs. One of which is refusing to drop the knife in order to eat.
Is anyone showing up north? Wty plantively wails? Heaving another big sigh over the demise of the thread, she looks at the waiting limo. elizabeth true to her image, hops in, has the driver toot and off she goes. A/A, coreene, well I know you will be busy. rusty is there such a thing as a farewell margarita? weeble will be back. Suave…where can we meet? Liked the gnu thread idea! wty knows she finally has to face the scrapping off of her horse/hippo. Having put this off, she heads to the barn. Wondering if there were some way she could run her thru the car wash?
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