The funeral has begun. You are all invited to attend the wake

[elizabeth]

“Hunny bunny, come here. Bill, let me straighten your toupee . . . . Oh, look, there’s Merry. . . . Merry, hi, over here!”

<<Merry staggers over, Koi sandwich in one hand, Wal-Mart fake crystal decanter in another, in her rust breeches, with her ruby choker pin glowing sadly.>>

“Merry, I’d like you to meet Bill. Bill, sweetheart, this is Merry . . . . M-E-R-R-Y. Hearing is the first thing to go, you know. Merry, do you like my anklet? Bill bought it for me, once I became a trophy wife. Oh, who is that over there, in that frou-frou designer gown? Oh, the TeriKessler (one “r” not two) Thread. Wouldn’t it figure that Thread would overdress? . . . . .”

[Coreene]

It was

COLONEL MUSTARD in the HACK & WHACK!!!

[elizabeth]

You are, of course, right. I just wish you were both there when she leapt on me.

I am assuming you both would have adressed her as you just adressed ME! I thought her post on my thread was inappropriate, Erin, and rude.

Erin, I wish you had said something then.

Everyone responded to the Thread Death in a very funny and light way. I think Bumpkin leapt without looking and thought there was a tenor other than jest. That is fine. That she did not apologize for her error is, however, not particularly nice. I am suprised she has not yet said “elizabeth, I didn’t realize you were joking. Now I do. I’m sorry.”

I still hope she apologizes. It is not too late. I will then, in turn, apologize for harping on it. Were I a bigger person, not so offended by her and dublin, I would have let it go long ago and chalked it up to her imperception and ignorance.

[Heidi]

Merry, before you even post the questions, I know all the answers, as follows:

-Ronald Reagan;
-The Big One;
-Deepak Chopra;
-Michael Eisner;
-No turnout;
-Leif Garrett.

What do I win?

[dublin]

she peruses her autographed Typo Circuit - the first that has ever arrived on time!! It will then be bequeathed to Chef…

Thanks, Merry, for the oh so appropriate gift.

[Lord_Helpus]

To The Canadians: NEENER, NEENER, NEENER – your thread is gone, LONG live our thread!

To Elizabeth: How did I not know you were studying for the Ca bar exam??? How could I not tell by the time you have devoted to this board??? Girl! You go study!!! That is one mutha of a test! In July of '86 only 28% passed (she says modestly, knowing that she was one of the chosen 28%…) I could not dream of getting on the 'Net right before the bar exam! You IRAC them answers! You tort those torts! And you contract them that Civil Procedures! And never forget that the “long gray beard” is ALWAYS important.

Good Luck to you!

[rusty]

We must go some where after the burial, because it is starting to rain again.

We all need to examine the purchases from the tack sale. Not all of us were fortunate enough to go shopping at Mary’s. Due to time and distance.

[Merry]

Yeah, well, snap on those rubber gloves, because as soon as we figure out who or what is “with offspring” a birthin’ is happenin’.

And no, it isn’t going to be cousin Katey. She’s done her part for humanity already.

[Beezer]

“Whoa! Whoa, Spot, whoa!!” Beezer yells as she goes thundering past the group on the wild pinto WB mare … made even wilder by the lack of work she’s suffered through because of all this rain. “Holy runaway horse … WHO STOLE THE CURB CHAIN OFF THIS PELHAM!!!”

Beezer rounds the corner, takes out a couple of eucaplytus limbs – “Hey! OUCH!” – as Spot banks the turn, and bears down on Rocky and the fleeing Canadians. The rest of the wake-sters, flicking the mud from Spot’s heels off their faces, can only watch in amazement. Most have never seen a WB show this kind of speed. More than one is heard to murmur, “Warmblood racing. We bet people would PAY to see that!”

[Merry]

If we go on Jerry Springer, who will throw the first chair?

[elizabeth]

<<Rushing across the room, elizabeth pulls coreene away from the casket, rips WHOA’s Irish brewski out of her hand, grabs AAJumper’s arm (champagne bottle and all), and convenes a meeting around the guest book.>>

People, we have got to get over our grief and get back to posting. The Canadian group is kicking our butts on the BB. They are at 125 posts, and we are pussy-footing around at about 50. It’s shameful. We are dishonoring the Thread’s memory.

Now, Beezer, stop feeding the JRTs the artichoke dip and pull out your laptop. SuaveReno, put your margarita in a to-go container and get back to your computer. And use a spill-proof lid - we can’t be slowed down by sticky stuff spilling into the keyboard. N2Jumpers, that’s a nice picture of Luc and all, but we don’t have time for that. Matter of fact, cancel your trip to Hawaii, and get your mom to post on this thread, too. Duffy2, set aside your conspiracy theory and keep posting. Merry. . . HEY, WHERE’S MERRY??? Nevermind, we’ve got a job to do people. . . .

[Merry]

I’ve just returned from razzing the Canadians. Me thinks this will just rile them onward to more posts. So be it. What else do they have to do up there?

Suave, love the Halloween costume on Cosmo. Must’ve been the Orange County show, eh? I say, bring forth the costumed children and their horses and ponies. Let’s liven up the place. When they’re finished, let’s bring on the Mounties for some REAL entertainment.

Then Merry lapses into a near stupor. No one knows that she is secretly recalling her days in the Trakehner drill team, where she and her friends dressed up in Canadian Mountie regalia and performed a musical routine. Hmmm… why did the costumes look so authentic? Why did Merry seem to capture the real “feel” of Mountie-dom? Why did Merry always seem to have a smile on her face throughout the ah, performance?

I say we hatch a plan to corrupt the minds of the entire army of Canadian Mounties! They can “ride for our side”. It’s time we conquer the Great White North! Am I crazy or just filled with grief?

[This message was edited by Merry on Feb. 27, 2001 at 02:04 AM.]

[weeble]

We didn’t have to bury the thread, it could have just floated away.

[rusty]

Does any one want another Margarita ? I just found the blender, No we can not use this one for making the Mud Masque.

[wtywmn4]

Once again, business is booming! Koi Boy, wty says, I like it! Who will show this bank account on four feet? Okay, now the farm name. Hmmmmmmm, 5M Acres? Koi Pond Acres? We need to be precise with a horse of this magnitude. Scratching her head, she survey’s the set. Time to grab that limo and head for the airport. Elizabeth is hotly dictating contracts. She whips out her portable fax/shredder and waits patiently as the machine starts humming. Rusty, has finally run out of ingredients, coreene corraled is making her demands for the new job to elizabeth. Merry and Beezer are rounding up dogs, no one as of yet has been able to pry the ginsu knife from the lab. A/A is talking to QVC’s Dr. on the set, showing him her war wounds. Suave has just called, weeble is trying to tell, gently, how the show went. Wty muses to herself, life does go on.

[SuaveReno]

That’s Cosmopolitan. Cosmo for short. I live in Irvine. Do you have a horse?

Her’s a picture and my friend Magan at a horse show.

[Beezer]

You really HAVE been drinking too much if you’re even contemplating going for a trail ride. It’s raining again … WILL IT NEVER END??? … and with all that mud out there, why, you and your horse would just be sucked right into the middle of the earth!

Chef … ah, the Mounties. We must go and fetch us some. Perhaps on the way (so, OK, it would be a little out of the way, but who cares at this point?), we can stop in at Bob’s and just in person ask the great, unanswerable question.

All together now: Whatever happened to Kimmie McDonald and did she keep riding??

[B.G.M_heidi]

That’s right, and if my councilwoman doesn’t pull through (I didn’t vote for her ), I’ll send sumo toddler out to sit on an unsuspecting and earthbound goose.

Think of it as a peace offering between the Canadian and Californian cliques and your full acknowledgement that we are, in fact, vastly and infinitely superior to you. You do know what they say about Canadians who come bearing gifts, don’t you?

[weeble]

Kipling…Merry. Browning…Merry. Whitman…Merry. Nope there isn’t much difference. A classic is still a classic.

As far as nylon halters go, own a ton of 'em. But the horses get turned out sans halters, they just come in when they’re called.

[SuaveReno]

Yes Elizabeth, I am a Mommy. And I like to feel good too. However, My trainer thinks that I am a Mother tho’ LOL!

May I suggest brick colored breeches and a plaid coat??? WE could be totally retro