perfect, like they were sent from above. (and by above I don’t mean Canada, Miss Heidi Infopop keeping weeble off the BB all night) 
weeble removes herself from Arlies lap and surveys the chaos around her. She breaks out in a huge grin as she thinks of the PR opportunities here. She can see it now, Entertainment Tonight, Dateline, Inside Edition, and maybe by the time we’re done, World’s Wildest Police Videos! After all, it doesn’t matter what they say about us, as long as they spell the cult’s names right. What a ton of free publicity for Merry’s Marvelous Masque! 
Gosh, I don’t remember the last one I received – is the last one the December 2000 issue? I did, however, get a bill in the mail. It seems my subscription (pretty pricey for 4 issues/year) runs out in May and I must renew or I won’t receive that issue. Let’s see, December and May. At that rate it’s going to be hard to fit 2 more issues in between May and December.
Cheers, Maggi
Merry, put down the knife and walk away from the goat. WALK AWAY! (And, yes, Beezer admits that she finds it HYSTERICAL that Merry is allergic to the goat – particularly since Merry is the one who always wants to “catch and pet” the goat. Of course, Merry failed to mention that she is also allergic to cows. She has a whole livestock-aversion thing going on. 
)
Besides, Merry … that cheap wine you insisted on buying really does not go with goat.
I think we need to send our soused minister over to the Canadians’ thread. It seems in need of divine intervention.
OK. Who gave my Jack Russells a bath in the punch bowl. Katey, it was YOUR kids, wasn’t it?!?!?
It is now revealed that Merry is not crying at all. She purposely smeared her mascara just for effect. Now, with a joyous expression, she dismisses the gravesite with a sweeping hand gesture and strolls over to her Mary’s shopping bags… 
Let’s see: I got a pair of TS Supreme Hunter breeches (the fabric feels so nice and it’s a much lighter, non-brassy green color), a black nylon halter and lead for my Hammie (the obnoxious four yr. old), a pair of stirrup pads , a new show crop with which to spank the obnoxious Hammie, a pair of Heidi boots with floofy sheepskin lining to cuddle Hammie’s legs, and a rubber curry-thingie.
I almost bought but put back: two show shirts, a pair of crochet-back gloves and a pair of horsey print knee socks. Now Beezer, on the other hand, bought three pair of riding pants, a polo shirt, and heaven knows what else. I believe it was 3 times she snapped at me, “We drove all the way down here and all you’re buying is a nylon halter and a pair of pants?!?”
Interesting note: Once again, as in year’s past, there was a line of newly annointed Horse Show Moms with their respective daughters in tow who were there to purchase show clothes. I love how the salespeople just steer them toward the newest, brightest, most trendy items. One poor woman just came with a list from the trainer. The HSM thought basic, dark green or navy was a suitable color, but nooooooo. The trainer said the daughter HAD to have a tan or light tweed coat. And of course, those were the most fashionable ones, and hence $400. I couldn’t help but whisper to the mom, “I must point out that in two years those really light-colored coats will probably be out of style. Are you sure you want to spend $400 on something your daughter’s going to wear, oh, maybe a dozen times?”
Now you see, that’s the sort of off-handed comment that got me in trouble with Scary Kentucky Woman at Equine Affaire! 
That be birthin in the correct sense. A cult is a rather large birth too!
Extracating herself from the folds of news reporters, who have now assembled outside of studio 5B, wty gallantly trys to grab A/A off the set. The russells will not let go. “Leave it” yells elizabeth, taking another long drink from her margarita. No way will elizabeth allow this current ratings peak to end. Weeble is trying desperately to chronilogically file all the dates being requested. Beezer, help she yells. Pleeease, rusty has taken to making 3 blenders full of margagritas. Now coreene is passing them out to one and all. Just then another call comes in, Weeble, mouth open, hands the phone to elizabeth. “Yes?” “Who?” “You have got to be kidding!” Well, says elizabeth, We have arrived. That was “Oprah” they want us to come on their show first! Curbs jingling, we all stare at one another…A/A stops mid grind, coreene hanging off the nearest & dearest valet, doe eyed looks on. Rusty making her now famous, QVC margaritas halts, mid-blend. Merry and Beezer look at one another, a slow smile spreading across their faces.
O.k., yeah, great, thanks for sharing.
Can Kari post, too???
(Teasing - Kari is cute!!) 
Merry’s back, all hail or is that hell? I am so proud of you, we can corrupt those northern exposures. Hmmm putting our heads together. Oh stop with the goat, now pay attention…Where are those Margaritas? Oh lord the preacher just fell, no it was one of Beezer’s JR’s that pulled him over. Aren’t they trained yet? Yeah gads!!
Blaming us poor Califorians for their demise. Its that cold weather, it tends to freeze the little grey cells. Don’t they know we love to come up for Spruce?
How is it that a weather system that has the power to wipe out entire towns and change the global climate is called the equivilent of “the child”? Wouldn’t “The Mother@#$%er” be more apropos? Really… could a four year old put CA where it probably should be (geographically speaking and taking fault lines into account- no offense intended!)- in the ocean? Methinks not.
The Canadians have challenged our superiority? Ha! 
The year is young, my minions! Let them think, in their own frozen little minds, that they have conquered us. But while they’re still shoveling snow, come oh, about late April, we’ll be back in tank tops and sunscreen, and me thinks we’ll have to start yet another “Question for California riders(past and present)” thread, or something of that ilk.
Merry likes the idea of the Birth of the Cult. Not everyone can say they’ve witnessed the spawning… I mean dawning… of a new era.
“So,” Merry asks, “what will our traditional garb be? Like, what do we wear when we go to LAX to solicit funds? Do we have a special hair cut? And at horse shows, do we paint our faces with our mud masques before we enter the arena?”
AAJumper begins humming “We Shall Overcome” and jangles her curb chain. She begins salivating when Rusty mentions margaritas. After all, last week was a sober week, what with the horse show and all.
Can you make strawberry-banana margaritas, Rusty??? That would be delicious!
I think we should wait until the Canadians are not paying attention, and then resurrect the Merry thread by unlocking it, and post nonstop!!!
AAJumper looks around the crowd, wondering why Chef hasn’t returned to the board from Indio yet. "I saw her on Saturday, so she couldn’t have been buried by the sandstorm…where could she be???
AAJumper, now looking like a mummy from the waist down after being bandaged by the QVC doctor, claps her hands together rapidly in excitement over the stall decor. “Can we have little tombstones outside our tack stall? And for our golf cart, we can modify it to look like a mini hearse!!!”
I am just learning to jump. I started in cross rails last year. It’s lots of fun.
Thanks,
Kari
I see it’s a STUFFED Canadian goose. What the heck is it stuffed with?
You know, I must point out that I NEVER drink alcohol at all. Beezer can vouch for this. I used to enjoy a Mai Tai every Friday night at the Howard Johnson’s across the street from Disneyland when I got off work from my stressful day as a ride operator . But then, I’ve told you about the “dancing on the tabletops” episode, so you can understand why I don’t do drinks anymore. So the fact that I’m tipsy at this gathering just shows how torn up I am over the death of the Thread. 
[I]elizabeth, overwhelmed from the stress of trying to find a new boyfriend, trying to find a new roommate, struggling to acclimate to life on the west coast, fretting over her dad who is in the hospital having just gotten his hip replace, and still trying to figure out what to do with Buster, snaps like a twig.
“This is it,” she growls, “I’m quitting my job and working full-time for the cult. No more stress for me. And I’m going to live in Merry’s and Beezer’s tack room and eliviate the whole roommate situation. And if they don’t like it, that is tough! (And if you don’t like the way I spell ‘eliviate,’ that is tough too.) I’ll be a squatter, squatter here and there. . . to and fro. . . tack shack one week. . . camping next to the koi pond the next week. . . . If I get hungry, will QHSM make me a sandwich? Just asking.”[/I]
Suavereno, will you please pat my head and say “there, there”?
I know, I know. I’m sorry I raged. I was having a flashback to my guilt-induction, finger-pointing lessons my mother kindly gave me throughout the past 27 years.
Now, about this photo shoot, Merry - are you moonlighting on the cult?? 
I am so sorry, I was in the bathroom the whole time barfing from the stomach flu! This wake just couldn’t have come at a worse time for me. At least I feel as bad physically as I do emotionally!
After flushing I sent my husband to the cellar and pulled SEVERAL bottles of last years Pinot (hope you all like red). It has a pretty decent alcohol content for those needing to drown their sorrows but won’t whomp you in the head like all of that hard stuff you have been serving.
Salute!
with a tray full of tequila shots. Who needs lime? Salt?
I missed the fun of the Question for Merry thread, but who can pass up a good wake? And besides, I have this great black suit I have just been dying to wear…
Be careful! I’ll hand you the shots…everyone got their salt, shot, and lime?? ok, on three everyone…
I finally made it to the wake and have, in true inimitable fashion, brought an entourage of guests.
Stop peering at the withered and decayed flesh of the thread, have a gander at this.
