The funeral has begun. You are all invited to attend the wake

[AAJumper]

Phew…would someone please turn on the AC??? It’s sunny, 82 degrees out, and I am roasting! Is there any water left in the Koi Pond? Those fish are gonna fry!

AAJumper is sweating profusely from all the activity, not to mention the recent change in weather. “Hey!” she exclaims…it’s time for… Koolaid!!! Just then, the giant Koolaid Man busts through the tack room drapery facade at the QVC studio, knocking over carnations and tombstones. Rusty instantly runs over to Koolaid Man with her blender the bottle of tequila she stole from the green room. “Anyone interested in a Koolaid Margarita?” she exclaims. Coreene, however, has a sparkle in her eye as she thinks up some other plans for Koolaid Man. Elizabeth begins fervently writing up a contract to include KoolAid Man in the cult, uh…organization, while Beezer and Merry consider having him break their greenies. "After all, he does have all that padding…we ought to put him to use," Merry ponders. Wtywmn, captivated by the drama unfolding, begins to ponder writing a made-for-TV movie about the organization’s follies. “This could be a Lifetime Original,” she exclaims.

[MO1]

I don’t recall the name, but it sure is tastey; iced tea with Absolute citron or Stoli orange!! How about Malibu and Pinapple?

Now where is Chandra is’nt she bringing the wine?
whewwwwwweeee! It’s party time!

[rusty]

Rusty agrees with AAjumper that we need to move the gathering to some were tropical. We are from CA we need warm weather.

Tropical with a beach and we can put the nylon halters on our horses and ride in the surf. Just like when we were Jrs.

More Margaritas any one? The second blender did not get put in to the casket.

[wtywmn4]

Fair haired and golden, one state verus an entire frozen country? Pleeeeeeeaaaaase… And that is supposed to be a contest? Nada!!! elizabeth, We will bring you blankies and warm comfort food. Do not fear, we cultists stick thru mud and rain. Now the project at hand, solicit or dessert?

[Merry]

Merry likes the idea of curb chain bracelets!

“Heck, we can even make them charm bracelets! We can have a little silver margarita, a little silver horse head in the likeness of Fleet Apple, a silver riding crop for AAJumper, and just for coreene, a little silver man wearing a busboy apron!”

[Merry]

I agree, rusty! Here we were gracious enough to silence our original thread, and now theirs is more bloated than ours ever was. Those dastardly Canadians! They’re motivated by pure jealousy. They can’t make a real tostado. They realize they can’t have our weather, our surfer boys, our avocadoes, our vineyards or Disneyland, so they’re conquering us in other ways! They’re so subversive!

Canadians: They look like us, but you cannot trust them!

[Merry]

Thanks to Melissa Cardenas, who apparently happens to also be a caterer…?

But now don’t all of you go rushing toward her offering of prime rib and garlic mashed potatoes! What about my sushi rolls? Made fresh from the koi I harvested from my pond in my riding arena! No one wants goldfish-on-rye, either?

Strike up the band, then. How about “Woolly Bully”?

(Are we supposed to dance at a wake?)

By the way, has anyone fed the horses breakfast?

[Merry]

In fact, I dare say I cannot name a single famous juggler!

What did Melissa’s father “juggle”? Careers? Multiple wives?

I’m sorry, I just find this so humorous. Must be the bacteria-infested koi sandwiches going to my brain.

[wtywmn4]

I go away, sans page 11 and we have a new life! Merry has opened her shopping bags, hmmmmm. Being partial to nylon myself, you know, throw it into the washer, voila!! Especially when one’s horse is a wallowing hippo. Leather just doesn’t wash well. Your shopping is admiralable.

El Torrito??? Merry your steering must have locked up on you. Well, hopefully the Margaritas are good. Chalupas all around…where is that dog when you need him.

[Merry]

Geez, nothing like wandering thru cyberspace for a while. Phew! You wouldn’t believe what’s floating around out there: old Gilligan’s Island episodes, Nixon’s resignation speech, and an old radio ad for Nehi Root Beer .

Merry dusts herself off from the last visit to the koi pond. “Okay. So we have our outfits: the ‘disheveled look’ as George Morris would no doubt call it. And we’ve already experienced martyrdom, what with sacrificing our thread for the good of the BB. And we have our tenets of behavior. And hey, the knife-wielding Labrador can be our protector, own version of a knight templar, like during the Crusades!”

All of this thought has made Merry hungry. She decides to order flan for everyone at the table.

As for elizabeth living from tackroom to tackroom, you are most welcome at our place. However, you will be required to “work for food”. I see the roofs over our paddocks need repair. Oh, and the hay needs unloading and stacking.

Finally, the task at hand! We must paint our faces with our mud, stop by LAX for some donations, and then gather together for a communal meeting in the Hollywood foothills to spiritually repel the Canadians!

[elizabeth]

elizabeth pushes through the crowd, impatiently throwing elbows, shoving small children to the side, “excuse me, excuse me. . . . people, . . . I am very important and very busy. . . excuse me. Has anyone seen my post? I just posted a post welcoming Rexford and saying hello to AAJummper, and the post is gone. . . . It’s those Canadians and infopop. It is SO hard to get good work-product from up North. What, with NAFTA and everything. Well, I can’t post again, I’m too busy. Just too busy and important. Have I said that already?”

elizabeth strides away, jingling her curb chain impatiently.

I need a scotch. Where is Weeble? Suavereno, honey, where are you? Oh, coreene, who is this rumpled-looking 22 year old studmuffin of yours? <<elizabeth smacks her lips involuntarily>>

[Beezer]

Thank you, Merry, for bringing back one of my sugar-coated NIGHTMARES from childhood. “Oh, um, gee, QHSM … a chicky-pippy cake. Is it THAT time of year again??”

“Now, someone tell Weeble and Suave Reno to hurry up with the takeout. We have to have a picnic on the beach. Nothing like basking in the sun on the beach with good-looking men and charming friends to make those Canadians cry in their (frozen) beer!”

[SuaveReno]

Elizabeth: I know what you mean, usually I just say “that’s nice” which is a euphemism for a rather derogatory phase that many of us refer to as speaking French. As in “Pardon my French”

But I know what you mean, Newport is a amalgam of the well to do’s and the neer do wells along with others…

Not to change the subject at the wake…I remember the Merry thread refering to Edgar Pagan. But i don’t recall what. Can any of you (still virtually sober)give me any info???

[Beezer]

Hope the skiing was grand. But you could’ve saved the money and just gone mud-skiing with one of the baby warmbloods out in Merry’s koi pond!

“Now give me a second here. At this point in the celebration, getting this wine in a box into the carafes requires a lot of concentration … the ol’ hand-eye coordination is beginning to go.”

BTW, if and when Elizabeth finds her way back from the bar TO the bar, give her my regards. And please tell her to save me a piece of that chocolate tort she made.

[Merry]

Suddenly there’s a chorus of Merry Mourners breaking into song…

“Oh, Canada!..”

[JustaLurker]

Merry, how soon we forget. It would be fitting and proper to hire Elizabeth’s intended. He seems to be at liberty at the moment and he can sit a horse.

Cheers, Maggi

[elizabeth]

sigh. . . . elizabeth gets out of bed, showers, and drags hersefl to the office before 7 am to research the Treaty of Guadalupe Hildago.

“Darn clients,” she murmurs sleepily, “first they ask me about setting up a non-profit cult to make bracelets, now they are asking me to research treaties.”

[rusty]

One gatorade Margaritas coming up.

[Merry]

The “Question for Merry” thread is being laid to rest. Rose petals have been scattered upon the coffin. The bagpiper has played “Danny Boy”. By now the preacher is half-schnockered on cheap wine (a vin rose that came in a box but was deftly poured into a “crystal” decanter from Walmart before the guests arrived). There’s food on the table and we’re all turned out in our best mourning regalia. (It is California, after all. Must have bleached teeth, sunglasses, and a Gucci scarf about one’s head). Want to join in?

Who knows, the wake may last a while.

And you Canadians. HUH! How long can you tell bad jokes and muse about the upcoming spring thaw? The Calif. clique tosses down a black Neiman-Marcus kidskin glove. Sniff Just see if you can make it to 30+ pages!

[Merry]

By the way, the Canadians are making enough idle chitchat to inch toward double-digits on their mock-Merry thread. We must at least make an even dozen pages on our Funeral/Wake thread!

Canada: What went wrong?