Nah-uh! It was Ms Scarlett in the kitchen with a lead pipe!
Yes, yes. I do believe some cults burn things.
O.k., then - sports bras it is.
I can just see me defending our non-profit organization before the IRS: Respectfully, I submit that Miraculous Merry’s Mud Masque Inc. IS a non-profit corp. The evidence is right there - we BURNED sports bras. I’m not sure what more you want from us. Oh, and the ark is parked out back.
SuaveReno realizes she is not a match for the buff and toned Merry. With a sigh she relinquishes her Ginzo and then rummages around in her backpack for 
you guessed it 
a copy of the Merry Thread. 
“I just can’t let go” sobbing SuaveReno turns to the CA girls for comfort 
Amid the chaos and song/dance routine, a small voice keeps calling "Hello?’ “Anyone there?” “I can hear you, where are you?” Unbeknownst to elizabeth, wty has joined Beezer in trying to subdue the terristas. The cell, sadly, is laying next to one of the golden curbs. Bea has been knocked down by the lab. Who thinks her screaming is akin to play. Coreene, smirk on her face has headed to the clothes rack. Rusty, muttering something about only doing what she was told, didn’t know it would end like this. Has now headed to the cooking stage, margarita mix in hand. A/A is bouncing off the walls with glee. A new M&S class, joy oh joy. Weeb’s totally aghast at what should have been the high light of the group’s business venture, is now sitting on the lap of Arlie trying to comfort him. It’s okay, no one saw you with out your hair. I know wardrobe must have something, a hat, possibly a new hair piece? Elizabeth, now fully aware of the devastation, is shouting commands. Stop it!! NOW!!! We don’t carry enough insurance for this.
Merry, hon, no worries. This isn’t the first time open season has been declared on Bill’s head. (Those toupee’s actually seem to have a life of their own. I’ve given them pet names, you know. . . . oops, more information than you needed!)
Elizabeth hears a commotion by the casket and looks over to see coreene weeping and swaying, moaning “If I had never conceived of you, if I had never given you life, if I had never posted you, I would not have to suffer the pain of losing you.” AAJumper quietly goes over to coreene and refills her margarita glass, muttering “we did the best we could. Do you want salt on the rim?” Beezer’s JRT, saited by the heavy corpse meal, snuggles against elizabeth’s black stocking clad ankles, whereupon elizabeth murmurred to the little fellow “you like my anklet, don’t you?”
Oh, and Merry, before I make a scene, where is MY gift?
[This message was edited by elizabeth on Feb. 24, 2001 at 08:39 PM.]
Having been sitting quietly in the corner overwhelmed with grief, I will suggest the same thing I suggested to the Canadians shouting “California conspiracy” for the dissappearance of their thread. Don’t they know fish (koi) is brain food?
sure you may think your thread had more substance than ours but we are the riddle queens!!! HA!
This just in… Sorry to interrupt regular programming… 
The Canadians are chiding us on their thread because we never “birthed” anything on our Merry thread.
So, let’s continue our circle of life. What shall come to life here? Shall the koi spawn? Or must we keep this horse-related?
Rocky the crazed Labrador rushes past Suave, who darts to the side just in time, so she misses being grazed by Rocky’s current weapon: a pair of pruning shears left beside the hedge of rose bushes. With the wicked blades clenched between his canine teeth, Rocky pursues the dastardly Canadians out the ranch’s gate and down the driveway.
As Tin and Shirley Maclone make it to the end of the eucalyptus trees that skirt the driveway, the cult… er, non-profit group… can hear them arguing amongst themselves, “So, which way is due North?”
More Margaritas any one? We need to celebrate the increase in our ratings.
That’s her. That’s Merry, or the poster formerly known as Merry.
I can tell b/c she is wearing gold hoops and a big belt buckle!
When will this wake end??? I have had so many of Rusty’s margarita’s that I am starting to play with my scanner. Thanks for kindly indulging me and not speaking too loud. BTW, whose JRT is chewing up the picture of Mellisa Cardenas
Nylon doesn’t mildew as much in the rain forest we are all living in right now. 
[This message was edited by rusty on Mar. 03, 2001 at 11:42 PM.]
The glove has been thrown!! Are we going to just sit here??? 
…having been in a back room with the waiter she found cute a few pages back - again - buttons now done horribly wrong and a few more are undone, staggers over to Beezer and wonders when alcohol top-ups are happening.
Then she collapses in a heap in the corner of the drawing room.
Elizabeth, having spent the morning working at a soup kitchen in East LA, declares that the bulk of the funds made will be going to charity.
$500,000, however, will be set aside for a communal horse. He/she will be named “Funeral Thread.”
We need to think of a barn name for him. . . .
A new book hot off the press! It’s written by my evil twin, Anna Nicole Smith.
“10 Steps to Snagging a Rich, Older Old Man and Getting Him to Buy You a Horse Farm Before he ‘Buys the Farm’”
Hide it under your Italian brocade shawl, elizabeth! Don’t let Bill see it!
Hey! Who ate all the artichoke dip? And where’s my sister, Beezer? Someone’s gotta buy that woman a laptop. But it ain’t gonna be me. I’m gonna spend my inheritance on something just for ME!
…begins looking longingly at a lampshade and starts whispering to assembled bodies that perhaps it’s time to go on a trail ride.
with a BIG grin and her blouse done up on the wrong buttons. Will not remember this at a later date, but is laughing right now. Calls Carving Ice in Fullerton and asks for a Clifford-like ice horse to be brought over ASAP.
Then, somehow, gets on the computer and puts in a raging order for more drink, again, at pinkdot.com, also known as pdquick.com. Throws in a few party platters, some chips and lossa Alka Seltzer, too.
Hmmmm…could this lovely poetry be Merry’s attempt to procrasinate, what with that 48 hour deadline on her TB article approaching? 
Just kiddin’ Merry…love the poem!!!
