Time for me to say goodbye...but I promised them forever

[mom2many]

Ran a small rescue, for almost 2 decades, on my own dollar and farm. Lost my farm to foreclosure (thanks, ex-husband) in 2016. Knew I had to accommodate my remaining 2 friends (28 yr old, off-track gelding and 26 yr old Paint/TB mare) and am now on a 5 acre place with them.

My health is not what it once was and need to downsize further. Don’t think I have a wide variety of options and am faced with the cruel question…

I’ve learned not to trust anyone who claims they will “take your old horses”; bid against the meat men at auction too many times. Should I just euthanize?

[LovieBird]

Would it be possible to board them so you don’t have to do the barn work, but can go visit and enjoy them?

[2DogsFarm]

@mom2many I am going to be in your position, hopefully later than sooner, but Life, ya know

If you can find affordable pasture board that will work for your 2 & not bankrupt you, then that could be a solution.

My herd is now a 21yo Hackney Pony, 18yo TWH & 7yo mini.
I need to put things on paper, but when I can no longer care for or pay for their care, euthing the older 2 is my choice.
The mini will go to the granddaughter of a friend.

You have done your best for your horses, letting them have a peaceful.end after long lives is not unkind.

[Against_All_Odds2]

Hugs

[Russinka]

My general view with horses (and oldies especially) is that I’m obligated to give them a good death if I can’t give them a good life. It can be a painful choice to make but at least you know they’re not suffering somewhere. Massive internet hugs, it’s not a nice position to be in.

[clanter]

My general view with horses (and oldies especially) is that I’m obligated to give them a good death if I can’t give them a good life.

We had a TB that was injured as a weanling in a pasture incident, the owners were going to put her down at that time. We had the room for her taking her in …kept her safe here where she became the constant companion of the herd leader (she worshiped the ground he walked on). Even after his death we kept her (which she accepted after we let her inspect his body) with the others until a few years later her leg got to the point where we (us and our vet) were concerned that she may break the leg (it had deflected to greater than 45 degrees) …at that point we humanly euthanized her on a pretty sunny day in our backyard.

We had her for sixteen years (may have been seventeen years?) …but more years than she would have had, and those were good years for her. She was good but goofy horse with only two speeds walk and run as fast as bullet (on three good legs)

[findeight]

Horses dont really have the language or cognitive skills to understand “promise” or “forever”. They do understand their situation today be it fear, pain, hunger, thirst, inability to sweat or stay warm and so forth.

In your heart you know this. Don’t invent reasons they don’t understand to justify keeping them alive as they decline or pass them along to who knows what fate. You likely dont remember Wilhelm who, through his owner/ translator, nickered “ This it be right” as she sent him over the bridge,

Its the right thing to do for them.

[No1]

You’re right to not trust someone to rehome two older horses. Euthanasia is the kindest option. Don’t feel bad about letting them go on a good note. They have had many years that they may not have had otherwise.

[NancyM]

“Promising to look after them” involves and includes putting them down if you are no longer able to do so, if they have issues that make them unserviceable for another owner. “Advanced aged pasture ornaments” are “unserviceable” to other owners. Try not to torture yourself if it comes to this… they do not know, only you “know”. And you know that this is the best option- a whole lot better than many other options. There are worse options than the meat industry.

[Vyce]

It’s a hard situation with tough emotional choices to make. I’m sorry you’re in it. If you can not find or afford board and it’s a choice between auction, selling or euth… I think euth would be the kindest option. Hardest for the human but best for the horse. Selling an older horse…tbh the most likely buyer I see is the meat man.

[RhythmNCruise]

It is “forever” for them if you give them a peaceful and dignified end to their lives. They don’t have plans for the future. They don’t think about time the way we do. They live in the moment.

I had three horses for quite a long time on my own farm. I used to worry about what would happen to my two guys as they became older and older (one I’d had since birth and he was sort of special needs due to an injury when he was a 2yo). Christmas Eve 2017, my 28-year old buddy was put down due to what basically boils down to colic (pacing, not eating, tucked up and in great pain). I was heartbroken, but at the same time a bit relieved. We had a brutal bit of weather right after he was laid to rest that would have been so tough on him, I was grateful he didn’t have to deal with it.

Labor Day 2019, my heart horse, the one I’d seen born, was standing in the front pasture that morning with a very obviously broken hind leg (broken in several places). He was 22 when it happened. Saying goodbye to him was one of the most devastating moments of my life. No time to prepare due to the nature of his accident.

I miss those two a lot. They were family members, no doubt about it. But every time I read or watch something about abused, neglected, abandoned horses or horses being auctioned to kill buyers, etc. I am SO grateful that I never have to worry about that ever happening to my dearly departed guys. They’re safe from anything like that.

I have one horse left. I sold the farm and now board at a great place. He’s enjoying his new role as “the only horse” and soaking up all of the attention he gets. I love him to pieces and will keep him “forever”…however long that is. He will not leave my care. He’s only 13 right now and I am 47, so right now I feel confident that I can care for him into his old age. He has his own set of issues that make him a “special snowflake” LOL, and if anything were to happen that would prevent me from being able to care for him, he’d join his BFFs over the rainbow bridge before I’d let him go to an uncertain future. I’ve had him since he was a yearling and basically rescued him from a not-so-great situation myself. I won’t let him experience that again.

You’re doing the best thing, IMO by considering giving your guys a gentle exit from this world. They are lucky horses.

Hugs to you though. I know it’s not an easy decision.

[mom2many]

To everyone who replied,
Thank you ALL for your words of support and understanding. After losing the big farm, I’m on a fixed income so full board is not an option.
I wish you all well when your decision time comes, sadly it seems to arrive sooner than we plan and hope.
Best

[candyappy]

@mom2many

Should I just euthanize?

As hard as it is to think of I would euthanize in a heartbeat over sending them anywhere else unless it is someone you know and trust 100%. Places are full of horses that have no real use and in all reality your 2 have had a good, long life with you.

If you can no longer care for them, or find someone who can do your farm chores. Let it end peacefully for the 3 of you. Then you won’t ever wonder.

[clanter]

“Promising to look after them”

after my youngest daughter’s horse fell with her, her new horse and I had a meeting of minds…you take care of her and I will take care of you… He did his job and we were able to do whatever we needed to help him.

At the end he was fighting several problems then was misdiagnosed by a vet. I kept telling the vet he was acting like the horse we had who had contracted West Nile some fourteen years ago… which was the case after we got a second vet to see him. Nevertheless doing all that was possible we ended up euthanizing him as he lain in his stall …pretty hard to accept after all he had done. But it was the correct thing to do for him.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

For animals, ‘forever’ is the life they have with us.

At 28 and 26, yours are nearing the end. I am in the same place with two 28-year olds, questioning whether to put them through another winter. I absolutely would never trust anyone who says they rescue older horses. Some rescues are legit, but they are also completely full right now.

I would euthanize, without question. It’s the only way to ensure that your old friends have a quiet, peaceful, dignified, and painless end. Otherwise, you and I both know the horrors that could happen once they leave your hands.

There are a lot of threads here on how best to arrange things in advance, when you’re ready to read them.

[mom2many]

Again, I thank you all for your kind and supportive words. As stated, I would never put them in the hands of anyone else…I rescued too many from the New Holland and local Fauquier auction to ever do that.
Sadly, I even got to know who the local meat men were and when and how to bid against them. Over the years, I rescued, adopted and rehomed some 20+ horses, from OTTBs to PMU mares and their foals, to just old, sad horses whose previous owners didn’t care enough to follow through and see where they went.
I’ve euthanized many horses (and dogs) and even had a burial ground at the old farm where many still rest. Guess I have never had to euthanize an animal who was still seemingly healthy and while it feels wrong, I know, thanks to reassurances received here, that it is the right thing to do.
I greatly appreciate your gentle reminders that there are things far worse than a peaceful death.

[moonlitoaksranch]

Hugs and wishes for a gentle passage. Thanks for doing the right thing. It’s harder for us to make the decision than it is for them to go out quietly. Animals don’t count their days. they just know if their needs are being met. To send them out with full tummies and feeling loved is much better than sending them to uncertainty. Talk to your vet to plan things out. Use an experienced vet.

[PeteyPie]

I’m with you. My 27-year-old mare died last week and I am questioning whether I should have seen it coming. She suddenly was looking thinner and I increased her senior feed and hay, with the thought in the back of my mind that if I didn’t see an improvement right away that it might be time to call the vet for a euthanasia appointment. She had lost weight before and I was able to bring it up so I was hopeful that increasing the senior feed would do the trick.

She was off her feed on Thursday night, acting agitated, and died before the vet called back. My husband handled everything. It happened while I was out of town and out of cell-phone service, which kills me.

I know intellectually that 27 is an old age, but I still am questioning myself at why I couldn’t keep her alive and healthy longer. I read here about so many 30+ year-olds who are thriving.

Now I have to figure out what to do with my remaining horse. She’s twenty and by herself. She seems okay, but she has always loved having a companion.

[KBC]

@Russinka

My general view with horses (and oldies especially) is that I’m obligated to give them a good death if I can’t give them a good life. It can be a painful choice to make but at least you know they’re not suffering somewhere. Massive internet hugs, it’s not a nice position to be in.

Worth repeating, oh so true

[mom2many]

Horses are just like humans…some of us have the longevity gene and some don’t. You sound like a conscientious and caring person. Give yourself credit for ensuring she had a great life and don’t second guess your gut.
As far as the lone horse situation, I may approach that soon myself. The older gelding is aging like Dorian Grey, but the mare is not doing as well. Can’t imagine what he(28) would do without her(26).
Trust yourself and your feelings. I believe we know more that we admit to ourselves.