The advice and kindness expressed by others already can’t be beat, so I won’t try. What I will say, is that cutting-off contact with toxic family members isn’t as bad as you might think. I wasn’t abused per se, but had a very narcissistic father. Two years ago, he took offense to something my brother and I had expressed (as we were becoming concerned, or at least starting to think about, his mental wellbeing which we suspected was declining) so he sent a letter, via his lawyer, essentially as an “Eff you, you have no right to tell me what to do”. We’ve not heard from him since. My brother actually called him about a year later when in a personal crisis and, instead of being met with sympathy or concern, was cut-off and simply told to never call again.
Can I just say, it’s been wonderful not having to dread his phone calls and visits that revolve entirely around himself! I realize it’s a little easier when someone else does the cutting-off, but seeing what’s on the other side of this no-contact thing … well, I wished I’d given him some cold hard truths and cut him off years ago.
Also, I feel the need to say this … I’ve read a few times the word “normal”. Please get rid of that word from your vocabulary! There is no “normal”. I like to use the word “typical” while also acknowledging that we all exist on a spectrum and are atypical in some respect or another.
From the outside looking in, my family would have looked pretty typical. My brother, mother, and I can all attest to the fact that we did NOT have a typical family life where we did typical family things, talked about our feelings, supported one another, and showed affection. Please don’t assume that everyone else (and/or their family) has got their crap together and you don’t, because that’s would be categorically untrue 
