I don’t trust you on an XC course until you’ve done at least 30 hunter shows. However, I think Flea Bag is ready for Rolex, so against my better judgement, we’ll take you schooling there this weekend. If you can jump the ducks in the water I’ll enter you for the **** next year. I’m shocked that you don’t trust my judgement though. You knew when you came to my barn that it would be a long struggle, involving much duct tape and super glue, to get you to stay on a horse. Only the biggest of BNTs (i.e. moi) could possibly have succeeded.
My life story…
It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi.
((Shamelessly plagiarized from Steve Martin’s movie “The Jerk”))
LOL too funny Jetsmom!
Maybe you should look into purchasing an Emu to keep your horse company until the vet can come out and extract the clicker from your horse. Emus are great at calming down horses…
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by PMU mom:
I could have sworn there was a post from Oreo AFTER he was eaten but I have been away and had to read about 20 pages of this at one time and may have gotten even more confused! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Oreo not eaten. you BBQ this instead juicybuns. 
taste good?
now with dressage BNT who like oreo, name ‘hanky.’ She teaching oreo rollkur. today was so good at rollkur oreo do forward sommersault with rider down center of arena hahaha. oreo one trick pony. 
now working on pre san george. will report soon. laff, oreo
NIGHT SHIFT IS IN THE HIZZZOUSE!!
eventable – At least he is okay!!! My backup marriage is my most serious ex who is does not really like monagomy! LOL But he agreed to marry me when I am 30 if I want to be married.
Make sure you have those little wine glass charms: you need to have the <span class=“ev_code_RED”></span><span class=“ev_code_BLUE”>BLING!!!</span><span class=“ev_code_RED”></span>
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by lyrical:
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Who here rides with Double D boobs? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well, not too many ever since that venom thingie… </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Dammit, Lyrical, the one time I was actually gonna come up with a zinger…
You guys are killing me, this thread is hysterical 
I also know even tables name!!! 
Even table – Just smear some smegma on it and stick it back on!
Horse poor, thanks for your offer of baling twine and glue, I’ll slap those suckers on his legs and use some staples to make sure everything is secure. I sure hope I don’t need to call in the vet for this one, how do I explain I was too broke to buy a trailer, and I just had to go to this “show” as it’s for a wonderful cause?!
Findeight: my husband is from Kentucky, so he can get us the hookup of the flavored moonshine.
BTW, can you use moonshine as liniment?
Grasshopper- I know what you mean. I’ve just been having fun on the “Not For the Weak Stomach-WTF” thread. Then I realized that maybe some people will think I’m serious!
horselvr…i’m gonna start calling you horse-liver, cause you don’t have a nickname yet…and cause everytime i look at your name, i see liver and not lover…just like even TABLE…
anywho. i dunno how he became a stallion. maybe its cause i fed him some resque (we were out of boss sweet feed) and the resque i fed him was a stallion. that would explain it. if you’d like, for a million dollars, you can breed your horse to snor-kal…
ok, back now! All horses are shoeless. Backs seem MUCH better but hooves are a liitle short. They do grow back don’t they? If not, will get some of the elevator ones they use on the ASBs.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by Seahorsefarmtobe:
did I mention I’m taking the rescues to the meatman? that’s how the rescue sustains itself! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
You go girl. I’m from Europe and all the land is full up of dead animals and it would cost me a million dollars to bury my horse so we eat them. Horse meat is highly nutritious and has more Omega 3s in it than salmon. It is very lean as well so does not stick to your butt like hamburgers. MMMmmmm MMMMmmm good! Don’t knock it until you try it. Add some sauteed mushrooms and a nice chianti.
PS–perhaps the OP should consider doing this with her spotted horse. Spotted horses get $1 more a pound I believe.
Snap – Could you give me your tailor’s name? (Cause I know you didn’t buy your jacket off the rack…who would!!!) I will call and get one made just like yours! Now as for our tack, I was hoping we could just go buy matching Hermes saddles and bling up the metal on those – we can save the major bling for the bridle, etc. That way we will still be able to use our Hermes when the fad changes next week! And I’ve been wearing my $2000 GPA backwards for a year now! You Antarticans are sure behind the times!
Nope, tie his head to the WALL with barbed wire bit in his mouth.
Then proudly tell everyone else in the barn you are doing it so that he is really tire and sore the next day so that you can get the look you want.
THAT will show those know-it-all dressage people what REAL training is!!
lot
o yes holly jeane, shes the right horse, i had shoes put on her, but then she wasnt coming on the bit, so thats when we decided to try natural horsemenship.
Let’s see, I already HAVE a degree, I get to live in New Zealand, which means I can swim in the ocean without my skin falling off and go to a show without paying several hundred dollars in entry fees. Oh, and that horse you liked the look of so much - he’s going to take me to the Olympics.
Of course, I also get to work for a CPA, so maybe I’m not so cool after all.
