Hi Sabby! Welcome to the boards!
nhwr- 
Thanks everyone, for playing along and alleviating my Monday Blahs!
PMU Mom: I will be your BNT. You’ve never heard of me, you say? Well, that’s b/c I got SOOO famous that I had to change my name. So although you may think I’m a NNT, I’m really the biggest BNT there is.
As your trainer, I must advise you to invest in the most expensive jumping saddle you can find. Then you have to let me ride in it for years until it is properly broken in, while you ride in an old knock-off synthetic saddle.
So your horse twists over jumps? A few sessions with a tack rail will help cure that!
Don’t worry if I’m not at the ring when it’s time for your round. They’ll hold the show up an hour or two. Just think of it as a great time to enjoy a smegma cooler or two.
Now, as for my fave linimint potion:
Soak 6 pieces Orbit spearmint gum in 1 quart Everclear. Pour some into a sugar-rimmed martini glass and garnish with a sheath bean (they are so the new truffle). Sponge remaining linimint onto tripod’s back or pods.
orange and pink would be good. The orange will match my chestnut’s coat because I OD’d him on paprika
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by horse_poor:
DeLapp, I have it on good authority that a woodchuck ate your horses leg. Oh yeah, and it is dead, too.
And I am sorry, but my crisis is much more important than yours. My horse is pregnant and the ultrasound showed 8 embryos. Should I have some of them pinched off or should we try to go for a world record and have 8 foals at the same time? After all, my horse was bred to Jen22’s Camoose K, the tranter world champ. How cool would that be? And then we could call the group of the “8 is Enough” like that cool show way back in the lates 70s early 80s…Of course, I should not even say we ultrasounded her-I just put on my son’s xray vision glasses that one of the Fantastic 4 Superheros wear and looked at her stomach and I KNOW I saw 8 embyos.
What do you think I should do? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
i think you should go for the 8! obviously any horse can handle this! but can i have one since my horse has no leg? i will pay $3.64 for it.
ps:also, my horse is 59 and pigeon toed…well, he used to be, now only one foot is thanks to the woodchuck…when i get him a new leg, do you think i should make it pigeon toed too? or should i hire out another woodchuck to eat the other leg, and give him perfect front legs?
PPS: do you think i should have stopped my horse from ordering a mail order mare? what are the possible side effects, pros, and cons to this? anyone have any expereince with it?
ppps: i’m all out of BOSS, could someone please send it to me? i will send you a check for $1,000, and then you give me $700 back in cash. thanks you and nice dey.
Oh no, I’ve just realised a horrific thought - Tom Cruise used to be one of my backup marriage prospects too - maybe there’s truth in those rumours - maybe I turned him gay too?? As a BNT there should be some money in that for me…anyone who wants TC to be straight, bank a cheque for $40 million into my Canary account, I’ll send you back a check for $5 million in change because I’m nice.
Feed BOSS and the spots will come back. If that doesn’t work, try beet pulp.
finderskeepers - did you consider calling a whisperer? if that doesn’t work, try fly spray. and if THAT doesn’t work, cut off a limb 
I need a partner for the tandom 18 wheeler class!! here is my horse her name is Gasolina. she’s a rare Norwigian SUV Warmblood she about 60hh and can go about 100mph. oh and she can jump 16 ft. She’s sweet but…she’s a little horse agressive she kind of ate my other horse.
http://www.carbuyersnotebook.com/ESUV.jpg
SO anyone want to be my partner??
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by Reynard Ridge:
Hi, ladies. I was cleaning the $700 Pony’s mare crust today and thought of you.
Glad you are all well!
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>
I’ve fallen down a large cravass and can’t seem to find my way back out. The tripods have folded up and I’m all alone out here in the desert trying to find my way to the rodeo! Send help. I’ll be walking in circles talking aimlessly to myself and should be fairly easy to spot!!!
New title in honor of another poster, who won’t be named.
By the way I have some land for sale…about a “hundred acres”
ThAnKs! I GuEsS hE wIlL bE FiNe TIlL thE MoRnInG CaUsE I FoRgOt HoW tO GeT To tHe BaRn aNd My MoM CaN’t TaKe Me TiLl tHe MoRnInG!
O YeA, He Is FoR SalE FoR 1.5 mIlLoN DoLlArS! I GuEsS WitH His ReCeNt InJuRy I cAn LoWeR iT tO 1 MiLlOn! ToNiGhT He JuMpEd ArOuNd PeRfEcTlY oN 3 LeGs! O hE nEeDs A nAmE!!
Maybe it’s time to call the Animal Communicator again to discuss the clicker-in-the-throat!
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by eggbutt:
eggBUTT sheepishly asks, what is a POSH HJ party? 
I am a DQ and in-hand sport horse kind of girl and do know a bit about QH Western from my hundred years ago youth and am a bit familiar with the Bling-bling Arabian world on the side. But, I’ve NEVER been to a posh H/J party…what do I wear and what is the etiquette? Do we really have to jump something? Are we really going to hunt something? Really? Do I need to ride my tripod in two point all the time with my wrists curled? Really? Please help me understand - I really just want an honest answer/opinion.
Is the vet here yet? Should I call him? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
What to wear? As far as I have seen, wear the most expensive thing possible, and then add one of those awful rhinestone belts (you know, the kind the HJ people USED to make fun of the Western people for??)
Great! Another show! We bombed in the dressage ring so I’m up for trying hunters. We don’t jump yet though. Can we have a class for OTTB’s who freak in the company of other horses and spin and sidepass? Oh wait, I need to put on a western saddle and enter reining! Can we do a combination hunter/reining show?
Horsepoor- the entire state of North Carolina is Animal Communication trained. Just ask anyone.
Finderskeepers - I’ve got a rescue you can use - just send me $7,648 as a donation and the filligelding is yours to keep. She’s only got two opposing legs and is 27 1/2 years old but the BOSS we’ve been feeding “it” has made her blossom.
I’ve moved from being MCM’s BNHorseTrainer, to being her BNRelationshipTrainer. I mean, the girl needs help, and when I hear a cry for help, it doesn’t matter that the person is a complete train wreck who has badmouthed me throughout the lower 48, and beyond 
.
I have a 6’4 built brother, if that’s any help to you, De Lapp. Of course, he is engaged and expecting his first child in September, so you might have to fight off some opposition there too.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by horse_poor:
Would it be ok if I make a donation for $3000 but have $5000 sent and have you send me the difference? I have an associate who owes me this sum of money and will wire it directly to you. I think you are an honest person and will send me the difference. . . </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
If for some reason findeight doesn’t want to help you out with this, I would be happy to. It sounds like a real win-win situation!
don’t think this board suspends…but not to hijack this thread - carry on!
