You guys are sooo great! 
WNT: ?? Chili and Beans will help a horse be REALLY THROO and have MORE EXPULSION!!!
Did you learn this from a BNT with an ACCENT???
As far as roping the tripods, why of course I will be roping their most useful part(s) 
As far as taking resque to the potluck–put it in a crock pot–everyone knows you can put anything in a crock pot and it will come out tasty goodness–use Parkay and paprika–DUH!
PLEASE DO NOT SAY A WORD ABOUT THE HARRY POTTER BOOK!!! I am halfway through it and have to say it is a bit dark and was surprised that the characters are saying “damn”–I start my new job tomorrow and wonder if they will mind if I read Harry all day? As much as I would loff to lay in bed and read it all day I have to get a ton of crap done-including search for Jen22’s BD present–what on earth do you get a girl that has everything (I might rescue a flax seed cookie in her name or give her some pre made frozen smegma coolers)
Delapp, can we clicker train the tripods to dirty dance?
Has the vet come yet?
BOSS helps everything, from acne to dirty shower drains. I’m sure it will help your gelding with his anti-surf look campaign. But my gelding will out bling and out sing yours to be prom king. He will be wearing an eye patch and a pirate hat because he thinks it makes him irresistible to the laydees.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by naters:
Where the heck does all that extra smegma cooler mix come from??? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Naters, I have your answer…since the invention of our smegma concoction last week, I’ve had RJR/Nabisco researching my original formula to see if it’s worth mass marketing…sorta of like mare’s revenge for Premarin…anyway, I digress. RJR/Nabisco has discovered that the molecular make up of Smegma Cooler base is actually like sour dough starter (remember the rage of sharing bread starter years ago? uck!) and it will continue to reproduce and expand extraordinarily! So, RJR/Nabisco has it’s high dollar Marketing Department and Madison Avenue Advertising Guru’s working on an ad campaign, slogan and jingle for the product. Looks like we’re going to be filthy rich ladies!
They are also hoping to get a handle on the Flax Seed Cookie fortified with BOSS before the deal is firmed up with the Girl Scouts. Details to follow, but if anyone has a good idea on the ad campaign, slogan and jingle, post here so we can get the royalties from that too! Lordy, we’ll be able to buy <span class=“ev_code_RED”>registered</span> tripods and vanners! Dang!!
PLEASE STOP! 
I’m gonna get fired and then I’ll have to start a “I lost my job and don’t know what to do” thread!
Eggbutt - big ones? 
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by eventable:
Like I said, I’m an eventer. And bling tends to catch on those big-ass scary solid fences at speed. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
How else are you supposed to flip your horse?
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by Snap:
Poor naters! We will fire up that resque and put a little more fuel on the fire for that special BNT who makes your life so much more enjoyable! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Thank you! I am looking forward to it!!!
choke.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by Reynard Ridge:
[Reynard Ridge finds herself a little put off by the sheath cleaning discussion and returns her bologna sandwhich to its plastic wrapper]
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Howling! ROFLMAO!!!
He he he…
those boys don’t know whats about to hit them!!!
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by Equit8tor:
ok, back now! All horses are shoeless. Backs seem MUCH better but hooves are a liitle short. They do grow back don’t they? If not, will get some of the elevator ones they use on the ASBs. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
I’m personally offended by this comment and am never coming back to the board. It’s a known fact that ASBs have to have those shoes so they won’t rotate and it’s the even distribution of lead on their feet that makes it just like wearing a tennis shoe that cushions their soles. You’re obviously just jealous as your horses go around on little nubbins and are horrendously overfed. It is animal abuse to jump a fat horse on little nubbins. At least you could numb their feet first with venom like we do.
No dogs or children under the age of 16 should be allowed at shows EVER. PeRIod. End of STory.
DMK, does the alligator clip to the ear serve as a grounding charge for the clip on the asphole? When you come back from the bridge you must tell us what it felt like. I am dying to know. (and if it hurt more than your arm breaking). 
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Maybe if I could get a BNT to sleep with her she’d start getting excited about horses… </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Hey I’m a BNT. However, I will only sleep with people’s roommates if they’re 6’2, built, and look something like the guy who plays Sawyer on Lost. Uniforms a bonus.
Well, I guess I should share my life story:
I was born on a dark rainy day under a bridge in Gypsy Vanner land. My mother was a carnie and thinks she met my father somewhere in Siberia, but she can’t remember since she used to be addicted to shooting BOSS (and we all know how that kills your memory!). So, my mom was moving around with the carnival and realized she must have been pregnant when she gained 500lbs. For some reason, I was in gestation for quite some time: 2 years! On July 7, 1980, my mom went into labor. She told the rest of the carnies to go ahead and she’d catch up. She found a bridge and thought that looked like a good place to give birth. While she was in labor, a troll came along. He helped my mom give birth to me so she let him keep me to thank him. He named me mcm7780 which is pronounced just like: jkuwrtbsjjuty. Although it is hard to say, I have kept it for sentimental reasons.
I lived with the troll under the bridge until I was a year old. At that time, he tried to eat me so I decided to move out. I walked to Germany and found some dressage barn that needed a groom. Since I was small (I was only a year old!) they asked me to help break the ponies. I excelled at this and was the European Junior/Pony Dressage Champion in 1982. I went to the Olympics in Los Angeles in 1984 on my 12hh Shetland and won the gold medal easily: everyone else was doing Grand Prix tests while I was at 19864th level…there really was no contest. Anyway, I soon grew bored of dressage and decided to move to America!
I began my journey on May 7, 1985. I walked from Germany to France and swam to England. From there, I swam to America. I found a job with an BNT who did eventing. It was great! I felt like I finally found a place where I belonged! I quickly took an off the track tripod to the top and won all events we entered. He had to be retired when he developed an allergic reaction to BOSS and grew an extra head.
Sadly, I went to a carnival one day shortly after coming to America and spotted my mother snorting a line of flax seed. She was in horrid shape and I brought it upon myself to help her start a clean life. That was not meant to be and she was gunned down by a crazed postal worker two days later.
After my mother’s death, I became a recluse for a while and moved to Iceland for 15 years. On my 20th birthday, I decided to face the world again and moved to California. I wanted to try my hand at politics and ran for govener of the state and won! It was great! Once my term was over, I decided to retire from politics and focus on my riding again.
So, I moved to Virginia last year and built a barn with my own hands. It is great! 20 by 20 foot stalls, 5 arenas (two are covered), a cross country field with BN thru Advanced fences. I love it! I am planning on running a 5* there next year. I have a new event horse: a 10hh tripod/Gypsy Vanner/fillygelding who is tri-colored. We competed at Rolex earlier this year and won and are hoping to qualify for the next WEG.
And that has been my life up to this point!
DeLapp – I’d join the Resque but I’m scared people would think I was serious!!! L
Well since I haven’t seen any convoys recently- horse_poor I saw you whizzing by with that Geo, I screamed for you to stop but I don’t think you saw my past your trailer-
I’m calling in the helicopter, I have to get down there by 5PM or not at all!
On the fashion note I’ve had to strip down to just the thongs and tube top and I’ve been getting some interesting looks by some of the truckers. I explained the spurs really were useful but I don’t think they believed me.
Oh well, I keep inviting everyone I pass to our little show/clinic. Those fillyveal steaks seem to be a real selling point!
I think we need to focus our efforts though- which judges have agreed to attend? I want to make sure my mare’s neck ad doesn’t offend them!
my husband use to use glue in his hair…elmers i think…said it would stay in place for hours. I suggest glue! maybe super glue then you could get that nice shiny look.
Man, I’ve been away for a week and missed all the fun. 
OMG SPEAKING OF BBQ~~~~!!! we went to this place called the SHED and I tell you what it’s no more then a hilly billy backcountry old shed filled to the brim with customers they make THE BEST bbq on the face of the planet so much so they are name the #1 place in AMERICA for BBQ i think we should all donate our resques to the SHED and have some AMAZING filly gelding sandwiches. WHOS DOWN FOR THE SHED!!!
