Update pg 100-Erin sends the thread over the Rainbow Bridge. It had a good life...

[eventable]

Holly Jeanne, I am the Biggest of BNTs. I know this because I live in the Deep South, souther even than Florida, and because I am so good at BNTing that no-one else is good enough to ride my horses. You are welcome to come and train under me, but you will need to bring your own 40-carat diamond ear studs (for self and horse). This is a compulsory part of our colours. Also, we require that you be a size 0 or under, as our barn shows in electric blue unitards with white sports bras underneath, and if you are bigger than a size 0 the judge will not notice that you are the best person in the class, regardless of what I do to him / her in advance. Sorry.

My barn’s motto is below. You will be required to memorise this and send $1 million downpayment to my Grand Canary account if you want to train with me. You will also need to send your horse a month before you come to visit him…have hounds who need feeding. Don’t worry if he looks a little different when you see him again. It’s just I will have decided an 18hh black dutch warmblood does not set off the barn electric blue unitard properly. Instead, I will put him through a hot wash and dye him to make a 10h bay miniature.

Side note: anyone else suddenly realise why doctors recommend pelvic floor exercises?

[PMU_mom]

You all have ruined me for sure - This was on another BB “He Took Off His Socks, and she got pregnant” and all I could think about was tripods.

[Linny]

OTTB’s Taste Like Peeps.com

[eggbutt]

OK - edit here…I’m too slow to have noticed the title change…thanks Jetsmom!!!

[TBLover]

One thing the OP failed to note in her original post is the show name of her 18 hand Sabino Gypsy Vanner colt-- maybe because he doesn’t have a show name?? Can we all pitch in here and make some suggestions for a GREAT show name for this colt? One that befits him, because of course, since no one will notice him in the ring, we want to make sure that its a name that will call attention to him?

[appaloosalady]

Hmmmm, Spotted Ho? I think I like it I’m not really spotted, but…

eggbutt- there really isn’t any need for a vet check, the fillymoose has always had the best BOSS my overdrawn account can buy and has only had unexplained lameness 2 or 3 times this year. Just ship me the cream for a trial use and I’ll put her on a trailer to you.

horse_poor- I think you are in for a surprise. Eventable and I are certainly going to win our share of classes because we have the best bling and have both slept with all of the judges more than once.

[oskaar]

I will risk running into the ex in order to bring some NASCAR drivers to prom. Need to go out tonight anyway, migh as well head up north to the Double Door. As I need to stop by Vicky’s to complete my prom ensemble, I’ll drop by Tony Stewart’s (he lives above Victoria’s Secret).

Now, as for my fave linimint potion:

Soak 6 pieces Orbit spearmint gum in 1 quart Everclear. Pour some into a sugar-rimmed martini glass and garnish with a sheath bean (they are so the new truffle). Sponge remaining linimint onto tripod’s back or pods.

Can we uninvite Tom Cruise? I’m assuming he’ll be attached to Katie Holmes, and the girl is just plain annoying (it’s the “tongue smile”). I vote for someone taller, hotter, and a lot more fun, who will be happy to chill out and will be up for anything (like newly-concocted cocktails and horse flipping). How about Matthew McConnoughey? He’s gotta ditch Penelope first though.

[FindersKeepers]

I’m going to be fired from work!

Anyway, I would really like to join the parade, and especially the clinic, but I’ve retired my horse, does anyone have a free lease or horse that needs training that I can borrow for the clinic and then bring home with me to train and ride and then I can show too, as long as owner is willing to pay entries, and of course the horse needs to come with all tack and I want it to pass a vet check, something under 6, 18hh, and a 10+ mover would be preferred.

THANKS!

[horse_poor]

I just had a great idea-could I donate the teeth to a rescue? Or better yet, put them on a browband or use them as spur charms?

And I am sure it is SARS-she doesn’t have any signs of it, but I heard it about it once, so I am sure that is it.

[FindersKeepers]

HOlly Jeane, don’t worry, I’ve been working closely with a horse whisperer in training your mare. He said we needed to return her to her “natural state” and “rebrake” her. So we introduced her back into the wild while you were gone (a ranch of minis) and she has realised that she has what it takes to be an alpha mare. He promised the bucking would pass as soon as we learn to respect her and give her some space. I"ll just add his bill to yours and i’ll also add the cost of having her shoes pulled…which we did to make her “natural”. This is going to be a 2 year process, but it will be well worth it in the end. We don’t want to rush her.

[1-800-Dial-A-Distanc]

Helen, honey, don’t mock the poor man, go push his glass eye so that it’s looking at you…

Naters, you got ripped off babe, I only paid 394898564905.06 for the bone scan of my baby’s ear…

Also, you can learn to ride from a book. I got a 20 minute DVD to learn from, I even know how “stay with my horse’s two point” (yes, sadly, that was quoted to me last week…)

and lastly, Holly Jeane, there will be no mocking the mane pulling. I even used a meat cleaver!!!

1-800

[eggbutt]

Naters, I was so overwhelmed with the Parkay posting that I completely forgot about BOSS! At last, a new ingredient for my famous fly spray/marinade! Parkay margarine…squeeze bottle is what I understand…what do you think Naters?

[Snap]

Mmmm…Bacon fried BNT. I could go for some of that!

[mcm7780]

Snap – Or we could be real bitchy and ditch horse_Poo while we do the class together! How does that sound? You but better have tons of bling so we both look good in the ring. And what color is your jacket lining? Because it we clash…it won’t matter that you’ve been sleeping with the judge, we’ll still lose!

[Helen_of_NC]

Well I’m shocked, I say… just shocked!

(Uh… can you draw me a diaphragm of this deep seat?)

[buff4948]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>volunteering to use sidewalk chalk to write the tests on the road so no one will forget them. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ohhh cool with those hoofprints that say place left front here right hind there?!?!?!!?

[naters]

I wasn’t going to post till I read something about Margaritas

I can’t believe nobody has told the OP to get her horse a bone scan. I mean my god, if you don’t take him to the nearest University vet hospital and spend $394898564905.08 dollars on finding out that there is no problem, what kind of horse owner are you???

[eggbutt]

glib ( P ) Pronunciation Key (glb)
adj. glib·ber, glib·best

Performed with a natural, offhand ease: glib conversation.
Showing little thought, preparation, or concern: a glib response to a complex question.
Marked by ease and fluency of speech or writing that often suggests or stems from insincerity, superficiality, or deceitfulness.

<span class=“ev_code_RED”>Well, that pretty much defines this thread I suspect!</span>

[shakeytails]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>You have been spotted and when you and your “special” friend finally meet, he bites you and you smack him. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You people are sick and twisted!! It’s a good thing I’m home alone so nobody sees me laughing hysterically and wiping tears from my eyes!

[buff4948]

ooohhh let’s organize a show or quadrille or vaulting or something now.