Thats no problem at all, i’ll just add some BOSS to the acid I put on his heals.
wow, 2 clients, i really AM a BNT now!
Peter Jackson? Cool, I’ll call CArter(his PA) and tell him I’m involved…
my thoughts exactly table, WTF is live journal?? should we start a new clique?
DMK will not be dispatched over the Rainbow Bridge, but instead to a lesser known place called “The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge” (Courtesy of Fleur and Garcell of TMP)
Just this side of Hell is a place called The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially bad behaved to someone here, that pet goes to The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge. There are high fences and heavily locked gates for all of our “special” friends so they can’t get out of the yard or release all of their little friends from their own stalls. There are plenty of draw reins, dressage whips and tacked nosebands and our friends are grumpy and irritated.
All of the animals who had been good at biting, bucking or kicking are condemned to have a small child pull their tails and ears and grab their weiners for all eternity. Those who hurt or maimed people are used as theraputic riding horses for retarded demons just as we wished for them in our dreams of days gone by. The animals are annoyed and regretful except for one small thing; they each miss the person for whom they behaved badly, who was lucky enough to survive them.
They all pin their ears and swish their tails together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His vengeful eyes narrow. His pissed off body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the fiery pits and grassless ground, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted and when you and your “special” friend finally meet, he bites you and you smack him. The torrent of swears erupts from your face; your hands again wring in anxiety at the idea of having to deal with the beast, and you look once more into the conniving eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but unfortunately, never absent from your memory.
Then you sigh, and jump into the Fiery River together…
Hey y’all. I’m hoping you can help me. I woke up this morning in a bathtub full of cold water with electrodes on my chest, arms and head. I also had an empty IV line attached to my arm. I got out of the bath, found a white coat nearby, and walked home. The electric fence was difficult to negotiate, but luckily I’m a BNT so I just jumped it.
My last clear memory is running alongside one of my students in the 8’ lungeline class. I’m guessing my students and I all did well at the show, because I had twelve rosettes pinned to my hair when I woke up. If someone can tell me what happened I would be most grateful.
(note to self: When going home for the weekend, change notify from instant to daily digest…also, while martinis and champagne cocktails may appear to be my friends, they’re really the kind of friends who are fun when I’m around them, then spend nasty rumours about me behind my back and then sleep with my boyfriend, causing me to spend much time in pain and suffering).
Oh, my heart goes out to you poor little people. I cannot imagine the hardships.
To brighten your mundane exsistence I will share a token tidbit of my life.
And I know you all think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth…couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I was first placed on this earth by Zur from the planet Foolzum in the Ripsemoff sector almost 100,000 years ago and have exsisted in many bodies.
Each lifetime I have learned more until, this last time around, I was born with a Platinum spoon…you too can learn to control your future lives.
Send check now to Queens Bank of Georgetown to arrange a meeting with yur spiritual reprogramm…ummm…where is that edit button anyway…spiritual advisor.
Finders keepers - omg that is so sad! those poor flaxseed cookies! what are we going to eat now? Ooh i know…what about the crazed OTTB? he will be in no shape to compete anyway, so we might as well resque him!
horse poo - i’ll do the 19 wheeler tandem hunters with you! I have a 21.7 hh tripod…he’s actually a jumper, but i’ll just give him lots of ace first…
Alright, phew, I was worried I wouldn’t fit in! You guys are the be all end all of fashion advice, everyone knows that! 
I am thinking of adding that tube top though.
Alright my mare and I are headed down! I made sure I packed all of the essentials in case I need them. You know, the cattle prod, pony sized draw reins (I mentioned she is 18h?) triple twisted wire bicycle chain bit. TWO dressage whips…what else am I missing? I want to be well prepared!
tbtula, if you pass us along the way, please do stop and give us a ride, or at least fire a rocket behind us! Where can I get one of those padded thongs?
Any good suggestions of pit stops along the way?
Ok, I’ve been following this thread all the way thru, and after some thinking, I have decided to come down for the parade…from Mass, BUT I’m broke and have no trailer, so I’m going to shove my 17h OTTB into the back of my blazer and head out. My only problem was that I had to “shorten his legs” so I need a super powered stapler to put them back on when we get there, and lots of bute and Ace. Oh, but he’s already tacked up and ready to go, I find a double twisted barb wire works best for Oliver, and I put a few tacks in the bottom of the saddle, becuase you know you get the best score if your horse has a very hollow back. Any suggestions on what to use the “excess” blood for that is all over the back of my SUV, can we make some kind of drink with that? 
<span class=“ev_code_PURPLE”>On a serious note to Jetsmom-thank you for the title change–I like it, especially since TGR is unridable AND has some new heat and swelling in her bad leg-- 
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Sorry I have not been around-I am just crawling home from second date with Date Guy-had to verify he was tripod
In memory of the flax seed cookie incident, all riders will be asked to wear a flax-brown armband durting the rest of the show.
Oh and I found something to fix my eye–Parkay butter—DUH
Welcome Freedom-we have decided the mods have let this go on because they want to distract us long enough to call the loony bins in our respective states. I think on heir “people” were trying to follow me on my way to the show, but I just cracked Pees O’ Sheet with all 4 crops in the shoulder (cuz isn’t that where your sposed to “tap” them at?) and we jumped an overpass bank and lost them. So I am safe, for now.
Hoorse_poor I will enter the 18 wheeler tandem hunters with you! My horse/moose will be a fabulous partner.
Other than that I’m not sure what I will enter as the baby will be in the 6 foot leadline class and may also enter the child under 1 year old division which includes walk without falling off, looking in the direction you want the horse to go, and keeping a dry diaper the entire time. Penelopony is a shoe in since I already slept with that judge!
I’m thinking I want to be cool and start a new fad (along with the penguin BNT)- I am thinking we need to liven this sport up so we should all wear our GPA’s backwards! They are so round anyway who can tell the difference? I think we would be styln’ and we are running out of ways to bling everything so we need something else!
Oh egg BUTT, good call! But I’ll need a big battery for the lights, where could I stow that?
Hey mcm, blinking multicolored or white?
Weeeel. Because I like you, I’ll let you have him for $5 million. I’ll need you to send me a cheque for $7.5 million, and I’ll refund the difference once I’ve got my Nigerian money out of Zimbabwe. Deal? BTW he’s 6 weeks old and is jumping grand prix, so I’m sure you’ll be very happy with him.
“Horse_poo” 
You need to call a vet about that refresh button RIGHT NOW, otherwise it is going to die die DIE!!!
Since I heard a rumor that MCM has horses wandering everywhere and she does NOTHING about it, I think her initials should stand for “Many Colts Meander”
You can never do enough for charity and there are so many horses to save…that’s why we need more money sent to the above bank.
Vet costs are a problem and my vet works hard so send money now to pay my…er…how does that edit button thing work…the vet bills for these poor beasts abandoned by all.
BTW There IS actually a “should I buy an unbroken 4 year old with a broken leg” post on a certain other board…
I just don’t know anymore 
I mean do you answer honestly or worry about PC 
Like I said, I just don’t know anymore.
Cheers and goodnight.
whhhattt? cause i said will farrell should be in a horse movie? or because i said “I’m ron burgandy?”…cause that part of anchorman cracks me up, cause they put the question mark at the end on the teleprompter…
sorrry.
i’m crazy. its ok.
or is it because i don’t use polos?
i can’t help it that i have to entertain myself because NO ONE ELSE IS POSTING! and who else am i supposed to make fun of. i’m the easiest target. duh.
sides, the men in white coats already took your butt to the crazy farm a few years ago.
we have odd nicknames, and they all go together…apparently i lap dance on TABLES, and people with MULLETS go to strip joints…innnnreesting.
can anyone please explain what color ‘bay’ referes to? i keep seein it on this board, but can’t figure out what it is.
Geez! I can’t belive I missed 8 pages!!! Work Stinks
Catching up now…
no, no. findeight. they don’t keep it on the trailer. they transport it by helecopter…they have one fly over the trailer at all times and then bring down water from home when they need it.
and, since you asked, how high should the fences be in the 2’ class? i heard they were 3’. but i am not sure. maybe i should post a topic on it.
You can rename it BLING DOG!!! Heck yeah!!
even table – I am sorry I still haven’t e-mailed you! I am VERY bad about e-mailing! Then again, you were just a HORRID BNT that it’s a miracle I am even talking to you now!
