OK guys how many times do I have to say it-- no matter how good you are, I am going to win all the classes because I slept with all the judges last week.
And that is fine, I will do the tandem hunters alone. PPPPPPPffffffffftttttttt!
I think I’ll pass. HAving roommate’s birthday drinks round two tonight - maybe some of his friends will come up to scratch.
We could use the geese as the redneck version of “grey goose and cranberry” 
and FindersKeepers, just because you are bored doesn’t mean you need to tell honest, god fearing people lies about the following things:
Apple Cider Vinegar: bad pony MARINADE
BOSS: holy water
Flax Seed: cookies, duh
Beet Pulp: a discusting tasting food to cover up the apple cider to marinate the ponies
Paprika: your mothers, aunts, uncles, dogs, monkeys name
DMSO: topping for mac and cheese
MSD: Mothers of South Dakota
ABC: the liquor store
DEF: if yo horse aint got no ears
GHI: chinese word for fruitbat
JKL: snaps love childs initials
MNO: the airborne virus seen in the movie ‘outbreak’
PQR: another name for ramen noodles.
STU: another name for bloody olivers
snap, the only thing that will get you away from the drama at your barn is to switch barns. and i don’t mean just switch anywhere…you have to move to antartica. its true, the penguins like to gossip, but they will do it behind your back, and they won’t give you a love child. if you can’t move to antartica, raise your love child to be really really mean and then he/she can make everyone scared of them and they will no longer gossip…to your face, which is what you want, right? as for even table…i know plenty…hehe…but it would just be morally wrong for me to tell here…pt me and i will tell you everything…er, i mean…
Vineyridge, I forgot to add: I believe the big party that most of the bb members are attending in–well–wherever that is, would be an EXCELLENT first venue for you to recruit your first cult members. Besides giving us a change to join one ‘b*tchin’ good party! I understand that there will be TONS of Oreo Cookies! Yum!
I am loading my two mares (plus a couple of the boarded horses whose owners never bother to visit them) in the stock trailer that normally holds about 6 good-sized cows, hitching it up to my Grand Prix and I’ll meet you in–wherever that is. Obviously I need to read back on this here thread.
As Promotional Spiritual Advisor to you, Universal Tracanter Vineyridge, I will be very conservatively dressed in gold lame bustier, tight red satin capris, zebra-hide boots with matching Roy-Rogers-cut gloves, vest, and hat. Oh, and I’ll have a red-white-blue carnation between my teeth–THAT is how you’ll know me!
All Things Possible Through White Trash Dressage!
Um guys, I woke up a few minutes ago and I do not know where I am. My broken unbroken horse is nowhere to be seen.
It looks kind of like a golf course, but I do not see any Chevettes or other vehicles around, so it cannot be a golf course.
There are logs and big bushes around and a giant pond.
Where the hell am I? And who in the hell dressed me in this burlap sack? Where did my pink prom dress that llooks like puked up cotton candy go?
Alright, just took a break from my journey. It is rough going and I though my mare was tougher than this! She is already all sweaty and we haven’t even reached the bridge to Delaware! Horse_poor- I’ll be keeping my eyes out for you as I have run out of rockets already and the two dressage whips seem to not be working so well. Do you think that has something to do with my bit? Perhaps I should just let her go au natural and try to ride her bareback with no bridle down I-95.
On second thought, we’ll wait here for the next ride while I finish off my gallon of tequilla I was bringing for the margaritas.
I’m also about to go by this big tack store and I want to buy everything we may need so we don’t have to pay for shipping. Let’s see…everyone needs fringe and pom-poms…how about those rowel spurs? I don’t know if they sell sparklers, but when I cross into the land of fireworks I’ll be sure to pick up a boat load.
Eggbutt- if the vendors are upset tell them we can sell ad space on our horses. We will just clip their necks to say things like “Geese on a stick!” and a little goose next to it with the vendor’s booth number. And sparkles, lots of sparkles.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by cllane1:
As far as Harry Potter: I don’t want to spoil the book for anyone here reading it, but I’d be happy to PT you with the details. Let me know how much you want to know! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
All of it!!!
Ohhhh… yeeeeesssss! I’ve even got a current jobsite I can visit there, to write the whole thing off!
Um… dress code? Full riding attire appropriate? Crops optional?
OmG, I JuSt WeNt AnD ChECkeD oN mY hOrSe and I ThiNk hE iS HurT!!! I cAn sEe hIs BoNE aNd ALL oF hIs TenDons are CuT!! Do YoU Think THAT SwEaT WrAPPing It wAS A GooD IdEa??? I MeAn I ThInk He Will Be OK, Right?? WhAT Should I dO? I rAn HoMe to Ask You GuYs!! I mEAN It iSn’T An EmErGanCey Right?? ShOuLD I hAvE CaLlED ThE Vet? i aM sO WoRrIeD! PlEaSE SeNd JiNgLeS!!
WhAt sHoulD I Do??
Oh shuckie doo. That stupid Kevin Bacon has been in too many movies reviewed by somebody who writes for the Podunk “Chronicle” !
GAWD! I needed this today! Thanks all!
This will def be an all-time fav!
Well, as is my wont (see signature line) I will kill this thread by posting on it.
However, I am seriously concerned about y’all eating freshly butchered Oreo or other equine. To be good, meat has to be well hung, and I believe that queasy said Oreo was a gelding. A few days in the sun before butchering would “ripen” the meat nicely and get rid of nasty tendons and grisly bits.
Queasy, you might use the AK47 on Oreo now, so he will be well ripened from his ride on the double decker cattle trainer.
Re: Bates. Does anyone else suppose that Alfred Hitchcock named the motel in Psycho after the son, Master Bates?
Okay, I know that I am slow, but am I the only one totally lost here?
Edit: Not so lost anymore!
I have no desire to help the poster-I think she/he is a troll.
Go away Troll! Bad Troll, Bad!
Eggbutt, I would say you would be a great candidate for the overpass grand prix, as well as the guard rail puissance.
I myself will be entering the convertible jump off and the 18 wheeler tandem hunters but need someone to enter it with me.
Also, for fun, we will be having the three legged race, for the tripods. There will be the 6 foot leadline class that is all the rage in addition to the monster median madness class that is sure to be a great time.
Remember that entry fees are 1 million dollars per class, with 1% of the proceeds going to the flax seed cookie fund and 99% of the funds going to me, well, my BNT, actually. Also, do not forget that it does not matter how well or bad you ride-the judges, whos’ names have yet to be disclosed, already have decided who and who will not win.
Yes, rock hounds are commonly used for geriatric hunt trips. For both old horses and old riders, it slows things down a bit. very helpful.
even table – You BBQed my horse!!! Which one!!! And now you’ve sold MY Snorkle to that dammed DeLapp?!? YOU ARE THE WORST BNT I’VE EVER MET! I’m leaving!!!
DeLapp – No, I’m not lost…I’ve been busy moving my stuff from even table’s barn. I’m going to go train with RHF_cSi.
RHF_cSi – It’s okay that you’re my BNT now, right? You will have me competing at Rolex next year, won’t ya?
horse_poor – Wow! A saddle in the dishwasher! That is odd! I had a saddle that got modly…I used some European stuff in an orange bottle. I’d tell you what it was, but the bottle is in my closet in California! L But I’m sure some fillygelding pee will clean it up. 
DeLapp512 – Your horse only has three legs because he was reading this thread and saw all the talk about tripods. So, he wanted to be a tripod, too! But don’t worry, he should be fine but you may want to give him some BOSS from now on.
Actually FK, she is probably allowing it to go on to keep us busy while she calls the loony bins in our respective states to come catch us…
