When even a six-figure salary isn't enough to compete

[poltroon]

It IS so frustrating, OP. Our sport is very expensive and all that time when you thought “if only I had X money” …

One more thought for you: A way that showing at a high level may be more accessible is to timebox it. You can plan for the future, but you can also do something like: I’m going to do this for a year, while I have this nice horse that’s ready to go, I’m going to get lots of great pictures and videos and memories, and then I’ll stop to let the finances and time recover. What “stop” looks like could vary. And no reason, if time and money permits, that you can’t do another season after a break.

Keep your spouse in the loop too. Presumably you and your spouse enjoy spending time together. That may not be possible in the short term with whatever obligations have come up but it’s easier to bear if it’s discussed and agreed.

It sounds like you’re on a good path. You’re not alone by any means, and it’s not something that becomes easy just by cutting out small stuff. It’s really hard to have a full time job and compete and be building your riding skills and it’s not your personal deficiency that you’re finding it hard.

[Rackonteur]

People who show at Ox Ridge do “come from money,” whether they have enough to live there or to travel to shows there.
The very phrase “come from money” is a moneyed person’s expression; anyone else would probably say “I didn’t have much (or anything) where I come from.”

Oh, well, the OP has given me a good laugh.

[fourfillies]

A very wise COTHer (who may have been @atl_hunter) crystallized my feelings a couple of years ago on a simliar thread. You either need more time or more money. The hunter world is a near impossible game these days when you have to work for your money. The time/money math just doesn’t add up. I have plenty of money but if I wanted to take off to show the A/Os I would not have that money for long, because I have to work. Even a decade ago in my area I could show in the A/Os locally. But B shows are no longer. If I want to jump even 3’ its the 5 day A show machine or nothing. I love the hunters but the hunters I can afford are gone. I still show my lovely homebred occasionally but I don’t see much point in doing the A/Os. Taking off Thursday and Friday to show routinely is crazy and my husband doesn’t ride so that time is also vacation time not with him. So, I putz around the A/As for the camaraderie of it a few times a year and gag when I get the $2K bill for a localish A show. Rant over.

[Bebe_Falcon1]

@Turntable

I live in a really high COL area and 6 figures here you a 2-bedroom condo, a car, a 401K and not much more.

Yup. I think the title of this post could adequately be shortened to just, “When even a six-figure salary isn’t enough.” Period.

We were lucky to get into the real estate market when we did, thanks to an inheritance from a grandparent that made a downpayment possible. I had no student loans, DH had a small amount owing. On one income (barely breaking six-figures) and with two children in our late 30s, it’s still tight. Horse expenses are kept to under $500/mo. I truly can’t imagine also trying to repay student loans or save for a downpayment.

We still have months where I have to shuffle money over from our meagre savings account temporarily just to cover credit card bills because there’s just not enough to go around. And then even when you do think you’re getting ahead, a big expense like a home repair comes along, or it’s time to replace a vehicle, and you’re trying to play catch-up again.

We’re as thrifty as we’re able to be … extended periods between basic haircuts, massages only because we can claim them on our health benefit plan, hardly any new clothes, etc. in order to still meet other financial goals (retirement savings, kids education fund, and other financial investments). But in no way is any of that “effortless”.

[fordtraktor]

OP, I applaud your willingness to not take offense. I was very much in your position as a young attorney in my 20s. I didn’t show for several years because I was too busy at work to make it “worth it”—my jumper was lovely but needed a few shows to knock the rust off before he could settle enough to be rideable, and I couldn’t afford to do more per year. It is what it is.

At the same time, having a partner who isn’t horsey, and one with significant family responsibilities, as your does, is an added challenge, but one that can be worth it for the right person. Quadruple that if you have kids down the road.

FWIW, I ended up living that life for 5 years, then we transitioned to a LCOL area and property. I make less, but can somewhat offset my modest show and training expenses by boarding horses for others. I transitioned to part time, and now make less than 6 figures and shovel poop for money. Full circle from my working student days! I have a very nice facility now, on less $$…but I needed the experience and seniority I obtained working hard in my 20s to make me hireable in my current role.

But hanging in there and getting myself on sound financial footing in my 20s was worth it for me. Not everyone will make the same choice, as we see here, but it’s a responsible and solid choice to make. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for not going all in on the horse thing right now….like they say, the cheapest part of owning a horse is the purchase price. Stories of $100 horses are great! I love them! But the real costs are ongoing, and need careful consideration.

The half lease idea is great if you can find the right person.

[Darkwave]

I feel like all responses here boil down to one of two things. Either:

1. you can’t have it all without outside support and that sucks and we sympathize; and
2. sometimes to get what you want, you have to make hard choices.

Thing is - when you dig deep into those two statements, you see that they are not contradictory, and are in fact consistent.

[foursocks]

OP, people who compete run the gamut of personal finances, as you have probably figured out! It is so dependent on so many things. My husband and i both make good salaries but getting there entailed huge student loans. We were so broke in graduate school we both worked teaching/GA jobs at the school AND worked other jobs on the side (I was a baker, he was a cook) and still didn’t have enough money each month. So, we took on debt. Yeah, going into debt is a choice, but sometimes it’s one of the only ones we have here in capitalist America.

I live in a very high COL area, and we are still paying off debt from 15 years ago, so we make a good living but still have this burden. One of the compromises I made was to decide to have a horse (or two), but along with my regular professional job I do other things on the side to augment my horse money instead of using all of our disposable income on my hobby. It sucks. My career is extremely demanding and time-consuming and I really shouldn’t be spreading myself so thin, but I’ve tried to give up horses and I cannot, lol; I need it for the mental therapy.

I am lucky enough to have found an approach that works for me in terms of making my horse expenses less burdensome than if I was at a big show barn. I board and train with eventers, which is automatically cheaper than the H/J barns around here, and I have my own truck and trailer for shipping (this is mostly paid off and has been worth it). My jumper has been out of the ring for the past 2.5 years due to injuries which required surgery and a big recovery period, but my usual schedule is 1-2 big shows a month from Spring-Fall, with maybe one big destination show a year. Or, I go to Aiken with my eventer friends and play around down there for a few weeks in the winter. I also try to get out to a few schooling shows in the winter. At shows I do everything myself, and if my trainer(s) can’t make it, I often only have a friend along to help set jumps in warmup and tell me to take the inside turn in the jump off. <-- all of this has worked out great for me.

But, that’s just me. I wouldn’t be able to do it this way if I depended on a trainer at the shows (sometimes I do, when we are moving up a level or we’ve had a bad experience and need some hand-holding), if I didn’t have my own rig, and if I wasn’t able to be self-sufficient. Being self-sufficient is an investment in and of itself; I’m not sure why people seem to think that if they are anyone can do it. It’s also a time investment, and you need to be physically able. I have scoliosis and spondyliosis, so I can’t muck a bunch of stalls the way I used to be able to, but I can do my guy’s stall at the show. And so on.

This is an expensive sport. There is zero way of doing it cheaply if you want to compete at the higher levels, regardless of your situation. There are ways of making it not as costly, and I think you’ve gotten a lot of good input. I hope it works out! Don’t despair! As someone else said, we can do this sport much longer than other sports and if you have to take a step or two back now, you have a lot of time ahead of you to step back into it later on.

[Djones]

@Rackonteur

People who show at Ox Ridge do “come from money,” whether they have enough to live there or to travel to shows there.
The very phrase “come from money” is a moneyed person’s expression; anyone else would probably say “I didn’t have much (or anything) where I come from.”

Oh, well, the OP has given me a good laugh.

Wow. Envy really is a green-eyed monster.

[Scribbler]

In my city a basic 3 bedroom 1960s bungalow is about $1.5 million, a 2 bedroom condo is over $500,000 and horse acreage in the exurbs would be about $5 million. Average salaries in no way support this. The real estate market is heavily supported by young people subsidized by their parents’ own huge real estate gains, and by foreign flight capital investing in empty condos.

A single person earning $100,000 a year would be stretched to buy anything more than a basic starter condo. A dual income couple would have more options.

Gas just hit $1.70 a litre so my 40+ litre compact cost almost $80 to fill. When I lived in the American South 20 years ago, you could buy a condo for $30,000 or an estate for $100,000 and a 40 litre compact car cost $11 to fill.

Grocery prices are spiking. A whole chicken in the US was $2, but where I am niw costs about $15 and a box of eggs was $1 in the US and is about $5 here.

I also make more than double the salary here than I made there, and have a better pension plan, better health care, better taxes, and benefits. Also a way better Covid health plan.

I can have select indulgences. I am renting and my landlord is gnashing his teeth because the low annual permitted rent increase means last year he just broke evrn on the cost of strata fees and a roof repair special levy.

My select indulgences, I have a second vehicle F250 and horse trailer. Oh, and a horse 5 minutes away at a self board barn. But I don’t feel I would have the cash to go full show route, and it turns out I don’t really want that pressure in my hobby as well as my work. So I’m ok with things. If I keep my basic costs low I can afford to not count pennies on groceries.

But I absolutely do not feel wealthy. On the other hand, I’d rather be high wage in a high COL area than low wage in a low COL area. 25 years ago I had the choice to go teach in either Hong Kong or Korea. I chose HK and never regretted it. In a high salary high COL area you can almost always (1) reduce your expenses if you are willing to make lifestyle sacrifices and (2) navigate higher salary over time, meaning you can save more. In a low COL area your wages are likely to be capped by the situation.

At the time South Korea was still low mid COL on an international scale, while HK was high, not as high as Japan maybe, mostly because of housing (you could get groceries and basic clothing very cheap). If you were planning on moving on or back home you could save lots more in HK. I lived in a share flat with British expatriates on an island with no cars. Not sustainable but fun when I was still younger.

I definitely save much more here than I did in my low COL in the US.

[Fat_Dinah]

OP, it seems like you are suffering more from lack of time than money (although your financial stresses are real). Horse’s aside, no one should be worked 50 to 70 hours a week for any amount of money.
If you are a valued employee, negotiate changes that give you flexibility and time. Can you work 4 days a week? Can you work remotely 1 or 2 days a week and do it from your barn to eliminate a second commute?
If the answer is no, I would take it as a signal to find a more cooperative employer. Not just for horses but other iss yes in the future.
One plus is you have a young horse. Slowing down her training and showing now could even pay off in the future.
Be sure your No. 1 priority is your partner, who sounds like he has his own pressures. Make time for him first, then the horse and job.

[RND]

@Bristol_Bay

There was a particular response to the idea of cutting ones own hair to afford horses, when the OP is doing exactly that.

The condescension towards @SuzieQNutter’s posts was in general that her examples of economizing to afford horses were not helpful, when OP later described doing some of those same things.

There was a mean girl feel to the responses that IMO was uncalled for. I don’t see this in other threads asking for input, even though some posters’ suggestions may be u

I said that while SuziQNutter’s ideas were interesting, they were not at all likely to be helpful in situations like the OP’s. That is neither condescending nor mean girlish, it’s an opinion.

You still don’t seem to understand that despite the OP doing some of the same things that SuziQNutter does, she still cannot afford the riding life that she wants to be able to enjoy. The OP has illustrated in real life the point that SuziQNutter’s ideas do not help people in her situation.

[soloudinhere]

Secret tip: Samshield stuff regularly goes 40-50% off at European tack shops.

I just got the entire seasonal color lineup for around $120/pr. Lots of sizes still available.

[HipNo34]

Just swinging by to say I’d hug you if I could – and it weren’t maybe weird, lol. I hope you check back to report on your journey and what roads you opt for.

Also, I’m wildly interested in the sprinkling of comments from people managing WFH. I started a WFH job last year that is going to allow me to afford to do more, riding-wise, I just need to figure out the scheduling and get comfortable doing meetings at the barn or in the car. I’ve worked from home for years but pure freelance/set my own schedule. I’m still in theory supposed to be setting my own schedule but practice is something else. My trainer’s suggested using the barn’s sweet, sweet wifi so there is that.

[canterplease]

@Rackonteur Sheesh. Back in the 1960’s, it was a VERY different place than it is today. At that point in history, showing was actually relatively affordable to the middle class, and my mom’s family was just middle class. And she literally rode her pony through the woods from their backyard barn setup to be able to compete in one or two classes. I’m sorry my phrasing upsets you!

[Renn_aissance]

@canterplease Side note, I bet your mom has some great stories about riding in her youth! My mom grew up riding in the same area where I keep my horse now, but it was much less developed. She used to hack several miles across the road and through the woods to use the ring that my boarding barn has. Now, all that land is privately owned and much of it subdivided into $2m+ individual lots, and the roads are too traveled (and don’t have enough shoulder) to be safe for hacking. She points out whose backyards used to be corn fields she could trot around to get to the old railway line, or whatever.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that life is expensive, no matter what choices we’ve made to maximize how far our individual dollars go!

[Djones]

@HipNo34

, I’m wildly interested in the sprinkling of comments from people managing WFH. I started a WFH job last year that is going to allow me to afford to do more, riding-wise, I just need to figure out the scheduling and get comfortable doing meetings at the barn or in the car. I’ve worked from home for years but pure freelance/set my own schedule. I’m still in theory supposed to be setting my own schedule but practice is something else. My trainer’s suggested using the barn’s sweet, sweet wifi so there is that.

A good headset that covers your ears (blocks out the horse banging his bucket). A consistent virtual background so no one knows where you’re sitting. Good lighting and camera angle so you’re not looking like you were kidnapped. USB cameras with built in ring lights are cheap

[atl_hunter]

I actually think it was soooo much easier to ride on the outside courses of yesterday, without related distances. You could establish a pace so much easier in a large, open field vs a small arena. Yes, the class evolved over time. No, you can’t establish the same pace in a small ring.

If we REALLY want to get in the way back machine and talk about the glory days of hunters, then let’s be honest with ourselves and remember that you could ride whatever came up, and didn’t even need a lead change. Yes, the jumps were bigger. Yes, the course were bigger. But the cost of land (heart of the overall cost problem) means we can’t have shows with flowing open courses any more. The class evolved. Some people didn’t evolve with it. Failing to evolve leads to extinction. Personally, I’d rather have the modern hunter than no hunter at all. Did you watch the handy round of the WCHR Peter Wetherill Hunter Spectacular? Did you see how ridiculously handy those horses were? I never saw anything so smooth and technical back in the “glory days.”

We will never agree, but I actually find the hunter course in a tiny ring to be more challenging than any outside course I ever rode back in the day. Balancing in tight corners, gunning down lines from said tight corners.

But… the beautiful thing is that we don’t need to agree at all - if we all felt the same way, the world would be a super boring place!

I will say this - you can still find joy in the hunters if you really want to. I know I sure do.

[soloudinhere]

I’ve been working from home (corporate job) since 2011 and I’m happy to share any/all tips for working from your car/the barn/while riding (lol).

[canterplease]

LOL @ the lighting - I love all the WFH (or work-from-barn) tips. My job allows me to work remotely 2x per week but my barn unfortunately has very hit-or-miss Wifi and little to no cell service - I have definitely taken calls while driving before however!

[McGurk]

@canterplease,

After reading the responses in this thread, I think what you need is a two-pronged approach; that is, something that addresses money/expenses and your time crunch.

I think the easiest and most obvious solution to the first issue is to really pursue the idea of a capable, competent half leaser. It will take some time to find someone you’re comfortable with, and it probably needs to be someone currently riding in your barn and in your trainer’s program. The easiest way to address the second piece is to figure out to reduce your freelance hours and/or increase your billings. Figure out how much more income you’d need to make this feasible. Start by negotiating with your current employer for more money; then take a hard look at your freelancing and figure out a way to keep only the most lucrative or enjoyable work.

If you can manage to do both these things - wow! More time with your partner, a fit, schooled horse, lower horse bills and the ability to really enjoy your horse when you do ride.

Or you know, cut your own bangs, drive a beater, buy clothes in an consignment shop and cut out the lattes and avocado toast. AKA all the stuff you’re doing already.

Please do post back and let us know how you’re doing.