Splash, Willem is alseep right now but there is so much love here that we always have love and jingles for everyone. I cried and cried when I read your post - if you want to email me or PT me, please do so, we both know exactly what we’re going through. I will pray as much for your guy as for my own. Dear friend, if it is meant to be then he will be fine. We do all we can and we do what is best for them, but it is not up to us. That is the hardest part to get your hands around I think, that we can do everything in the world and it is not up to us whether they will get better or not. But he can feel from you whether or not you are giving him the love and support he needs, so no matter how had it is you have to treat him with the same love as you always do and tell him he is a good brave boy and how much you love him. If he thinks that part of everything is normal, then he has no reason to think otherwise.
The vet came just after 5 to bring the nitro gel, change Willem’s wraps etc. Warned me about getting it on me, to tell someone right away if I did etc. There were two places at the coronet band where abscesses had drained. Willem was very happy when we were done.
But I have to emphasize one thing right now. As of when I left the barn tonight, HE IS NOT SUFFERING. It is not that kind of pain right now. He is very uncomfortable and his feet hurt, and he lays down a lot but only for about two minutes and then gets up. He is still eating, begging for food, flirting, talking etc. He has not stopped eating, his appetite is just as strong as always (obviously he gets this from me). And this is a very good sign.
He will get well or not based upon him and not how much he had sunk. So many people have emailed to share stories of horses who, if you went by the book, should have been put down because of their founder but are still moving right along with no worries and no pain.
I will not let him suffer. I hope and I pray that the nitro will help, I hope that I come to the barn and he looks at me like he did before the sinking started, when he got this look of “WHATEVER,” and wanted to know when we were going out. Tried to escape under the rope across the front of the stall (there when the gate is open) the other day, even with owies. I thought he looked a bit worse when I got there tonight. Right now he is moving like he did when it first started. I can’t believe it was over four weeks ago.
You know, the twists and turns in your life are so bizzare, especially when it’s one after the other. June 1 was one of the coolest nights of my whole life. June 10, when the vet first said “laminitis,” was one of the worst nights of my whole life. That was just the start of what has been a long nasty rollercoaster.
I will do whatever it takes for Willem to get better, as long as he is not suffering and it is a realistic fight. Right now he is not suffering and it is realistic. That could all change in the morning when I go back to do this again. I hope not, I hope this will be just a very nasty chapter in this good horse’s life and not the final chapter. But if that is what the outcome is meant to be, I will still always feel as if I was granted a gracious gift the day I found my dear Willem.
